Disclaimer: I don't own anything Supernatural or whatnot, it is all property of the CW11 network and the Kripke. So don't sue and please don't be offended by the language cause it's gonna be colorful to say the least.
A low rumble shot through the air as a slightly worn tow truck rolled down the South Dakota road at moderate speed.
The car was headed into town and carried inside it two occupants, well actually it carried three if you wanted to get technical.
Bobby singer sat behind the wheel with worn ball cap and slightly tense expression firmly in place.
Beside him in the passenger seat was Sam Winchester looking somber, slightly nervous, and with one of his trademark hooded sweatshirts covering his large frame.
After the events of a few hours ago back when it was morning both men had gotten ready to head into town and see a certain older Winchester son who was currently holed up at a local boarding house. When the tow-truck glided smoothly into town Sam felt his nervousness reach new levels.
The youngest Winchester nervously wrung his hand together in his lap and did his best not to think about how close they were to his stomach area. He tried and failed not to think about what was hidden beneath the bagginess of his hoodie. It was after all one of the reason why he was taking this trip into town with Bobby in the first place.
The other reason was that he just really wanted to see his brother, to make sure that he was okay, that he hadn't gone back on his word and left South Dakota all together, and yes, to also show him the changes to his body and maybe convince him to come back to Bobby's.
" You alright Sam?" Asked Bobby gruffly from where he sat behind the wheel.
" Y-Yeah, I'm okay. Just a little nervous about seeing Dean, that's all." Said Sam with a nod.
" Well you'll be seeing him in a few minutes cause there's the boarding house right up ahead." Said Bobby, his eyes staring through the windshield to the tall, historic looking building that stood not to far down the street.
" Nice looking place." Commented Sam.
" Yeah it is. And Rosie's gonna love you the second she sees you, so be prepared for the full mother hen routine." Said Bobby with a small smile.
Sam smiled at that a little as Bobby drove the truck the rest of the way down the street and then pulled the truck off the street and onto the boarding house's driveway.
" You ready Sam?" Asked Bobby as he turned the ignition off and stared intently at his passenger.
" Y-Yeah Bobby. Let's go." Said Sam with a small nod before he turned his his seat to open the passenger side door and got out. Bobby did the same and quickly made his way around the car to join Sam. Together the two of them walked up the path that led to the steps of the front porch. They had just finished walking up the steps when the front door opened and a tall yet stocky man who looked to be just a tiny bit older than Bobby walked out.
" Heya Singer." Said the man as he held out his hand.
" Joe Perkins, how ya doin?" Asked Bobby as he readily accepted the hand and shook it.
" Oh, I'm just fine." Answered Joe before his eyes fell on Sam and he put two and two together. " And this must be Sam, here to see that brother of his."
Joe held out his hand to the younger Winchester brother. Sam smiled and accepted the hand, almost instantly liking the man before him for some reason. But the smile dimmed just a little bit at the mention of a certain older brother of his.
" How's Dean been doing?" Asked Sam softly.
" I ain't gonna lie to you Sam, he's not been in a very good state. The very first night he got here he went and drowned himself in liquor. It got so bad me and Rosie almost had to take him to the hospital. We finally had enough and got rid of all the alcohol in the house. He's been sober for the past few days but miserable as hell. Now I don't know what happened between you both but from what I can tell it musta been somethin' pretty awful." Said Joe.
Sam felt despair bubble up rapidly inside him. Swallowing deeply to keep the emotions in him at bay, Sam spoke.
" Where is he now?" He asked, his voice shaking only slightly.
" He's out back in the yard, Rosie made him go. Said the fresh air would do him some good now that he's completely sobered up." Said Joe softly.
Sam nodded mutely and then stepped away from Bobby and Joe and slowly walked back down the front steps and then went around the front of the house to the driveway and disappeared further up the paved concrete.
" I sure hope this goes well." Said Joe.
" You and me both Joe." Agreed Bobby.
With that in mind the two older men quietly headed inside and made their way into the kitchen where Rosie was there to greet them with scones and a fresh pot of coffee. Back outside Sam slowly walked the length of the driveway that undoubtedly led to the backyard... where Dean was. Sam quashed down the very prevalent urge that was screaming at him to turn back and run. If he didn't do this now then he probably never would be able to face his brother ever again. Steeling his shaky resolve Sam walked the rest of the way and caught sight of the backyard.
The grass was slightly brown from the cold, everything was dormant as it should be during winter. And there sitting on a stone bench near the far end of the yard was a familiar figure. All at once Sam wanted to run to Dean and also run away from him. Clenching his jaw tightly Sam forced himself to go forward into the yard. As he walked over the slightly barren ground Sam found himself feeling a small ache inside of him as he eyes how dejected Dean looked even with his back to him. The normally proud and relaxed shoulders were slouched over, curved in silent defeat. Broken.
Blinking his eyes rapidly against an all too familiar sting Sam came to stand directly behind Dean. Dean was so lost in his own depressed thoughts he didn't even instinctively feel that someone was standing behind him.
With his eyes shining Sam slowly, hesitantly lifted his hand from his side and reached out towards his oblivious older brother. When his hand ever so gently came to rest over Dean's shoulder and lightly squeezed it at first the older brother didn't react at all still too lost in his own depressed thoughts. Then a split second later he was jerking at the feel of someone holding his shoulder and whirling around to see who it was. The second his eyes fell of Sam they grew to the size of dinner plates and he immediately shot to his feet and spoke.
" Sammy?" He asked in disbelief because his baby brother was the last person he was expecting to see today.
" Hey Dean." Said Sam with a shaky smile.
The two brothers simply stared at each other after that, Sam gazing with tear shined eyes, Dean gawking with wide disbelieving eyes. It was Dean who broke the impasse.
" Sammy what are you doing here?" He asked softly as he slowly made his way around the garden bench he had been sitting on earlier and came to stand within arms length of his little brother.
" To see you Dean, what else?" Asked Sam in turn with a shaky smile.
Dean couldn't help but return the smile with a sad one of his own. The two brothers stood facing each other and not saying a word for several long seconds after that. It was finally Sam who spoke.
" You and I really need to sit down and talk." He said, which was by far the biggest understatement of the century.
" Y-Yeah, we really do." Said Dean, nodding his head before taking a step past Sam.
" C'mon let's head inside, we can talk in my room." He said softly.
Sam nodded and followed after his brother as the two of them made their way back into boarding house Dean had all but fled to after the life-altering revelations of just weeks before. Joe, Rosie, and Bobby all gave them knowing looks and remained respectfully silent where they sat at the kitchen table as the two Winchester brothers made their way through the room to the main staircase that would lead them to the second floor. Once the boys had disappeared from sight, Bobby, Rosie, and Joe all shared a look with one another that conveyed their silent hope that the two young ones would be able to settle things between them. Then the three older people all went back to quiet conversation, mostly about the mundane happenings of the town.
Upstairs Dean led Sam to his room and opened the door for them to file in. Once they had both entered the small room Dean closed the door behind him. He could feel the cold coils of nervousness inside his gut because he was here, alone with Sam after spending all this time apart from his little brother. His little brother who was through supernatural mean, also carrying his unborn child inside of him. The thought alone had everything that had transpired between them rising up inside of his regardless. And to Dean's silent shame, he also felt a small pang of longing as well rise up inside on him. He wanted so badly to reach out and touch Sam, lay a hand on his shoulder or even pull him into a hug. But he didn't trust himself, he couldn't trust himself.
Dean was so wrapped up in his terror filled thought he was completely taken off guard when Sam decided for him. Dean gasped softly and froze as he found himself wrapped tightly in Sam's arms. Dean could scarcely breath but in his head he was screaming at himself to pull away and put as much distance as he could between Sam and himself.
" Please come back with me Dean." Said Sam against Dean's ear as he tightened his hold around him.
Dean was silent and with an internal battle raging inside of him he slowly raised his arms and hesitating every centimeter of the way he wrapped his arms around Sam and hugged him back, both reveling in the embrace and hating himself for it at the same time.
" Sammy, how can you ask me to do that after what I did to you?" Whispered Dean.
" Because I know it wasn't your fault Dean, and because you're my brother. These last few weeks all I've felt besides the nausea was fear. Every since you left I haven't felt safe, not for one single second even though Bobby was there and he's been great. But he's not you Dean, he's just not you." Said Sam shakily as he drew away to look Dean in the eye.
" Please, please come back with me and Bobby." Pleaded Sam.
Feeling his already well battered heart have another jagged crack fall over it, Dean used every ounce of will he had in him to pull himself away from Sam. He stepped clear out of Sam's embrace and slowly side stepped him and walked away several paces till he was stand with his back to Sam in the center of the room.
" You may not blame me for what happened between us, but I blame me Sammy. I blame myself and I won't stop blaming myself for what I did to you." Gritted out Dean.
These words had Sam's insides turning to ice for a moment and then, it all shattered within him, melting into white hot rage. With every part of him coming alight in anger, Sam ground his teeth together hard before he sprung into action. In two large stride he reached Dean. A surprised stutter was all Dean had time for before he found himself being all but thrown backwards and then pinned to the far wall of the room. Seething jade eyes bore into him as he found himself face to face with a very pissed off looking Sam.
Silence seemed to stretch for eternity before Sam finally spoke.
" Now you listen to me Dean, I have had it with your crap and your self flagellation. I didn't come here to hear you go on about how you blame yourself and how you will always blame yourself. I didn't come here to here you say no to me. I came here to bring you home, and you are coming with me even if I have to drag you outta here kicking and screaming." Sam all but growled.
Then an instant later, the anger that had so quickly filled Sam was gone and his face turned from rage to beseeching as he continued.
" And I came here because it's not about us any more." He said softly as he eased up on his unyielding grip on his brother's shirt collar.
Dean's brow knitted in confusion and he remained silent as Sam let him go, only to gently grip him by one of his wrists and pulling his hand towards him.
" Sammy what are you..." Dean finally began to ask, but his voice died away into silence and his green eyes widened as Sam tucked his hand under the hoodie he was wearing and pressed to his stomach.
Dean felt everything from his breathing to the universe come to a dead halt as he felt his palm pressed to Sam's stomach, his no longer so flat and toned stomach.
" Oh my God, Sammy is this..." Dean trailed off once again. Sam simply nodded before he spoke.
" A bump? Yeah Dean it's a bump. I noticed it this morning and it just made in all the way real. There is no denying it, I can't and you can't either. This our baby." Said Sam as he covered Dean's hand on his stomach with his own.
Dean was about to say something when he looked up to see how pale Sam had gotten and the way he was swaying just a tiny bit. Reacting out of instinct Dean pulled his hand away from his brother's stomach and gripped him by the arm. Sam gave no real resistance as Dean pulled him away from the wall and over to the bed. Dean still hung on to Sam's arm as his younger brother wearily sank down onto the foot of the mattress and sat.
" Just take it easy Sammy, you've stressed yourself out enough and that isn't good for... the both of you." Said Dean as his eyes immediately went to Sam's hoodie covered stomach and the undeniable truth he had just felt there.
" Well you do stress me out like no one else you stubborn jerk." Said Sam with a small smile.
" Right back at ya you equally stubborn bitch." Shot back Dean with a smile of his own.
They both grew serious far too soon and it was Sam who spoke first.
" I can't do this on my own Dean." He said softly as he looked down at his stomach and covered it with his hands.
" You won't have to, I'll come back with you to Bobby's." Said Dean, all though a part of him could help but dread this decision.
" You will?" Asked Sam.
" Yeah, I will. But right now why don't you just lay down and take it easy for a few minutes while I pack up my stuff?" Suggested Dean.
Sam nodded and decided Dean was right, he could lay down for a few minutes. He gently eased himself backwards until he could lay down with the pillow under his head. Dean sat over the edge of the mattress by Sam's side. Within minutes Sam was completely conked out. Dean couldn't help but understand that Sam probably felt totally exhausted from all of those stressful weeks they had been apart.
Dean stared at his brother's serene looking face and felt a deep tug at his heart. How was he gonna survive being so close to Sam once they got back to Bobby's? Everything was changed now. They could try to ignore it but Dean knew that it was all futile. Dean was about to get up when his eyes went to Sam's stomach. He froze and then swallowing nervously he slowly reached out and pressed his hand over his brother's stomach once again.
He felt his already battered heart crack just a little more at the thought of the little life that was growing inside his baby brother. The innocent child who's life was at stake as well as Sam's.
Grim determination suddenly filled Dean as he realized this. Everything hardened from his eyes to his resolve.
That demon wasn't gonna get Sam or the baby. They were his first and he wasn't gonna hand them over, not to the succubus, not to anyone. He would guard them both with his very life because this was his family, his blood.
With that in mind Dean drew his hand away from Sam's stomach and slowly rose up from the bed. He stood and let his eyes linger on Sam for a few moment longer before he stepped away.
He had bags to pack, cause he was going home.