Summary: History of Magic never really was an interesting class, but one day it was excruciatingly dull. To solve this problem, Lily engaged in flicking small balls of parchment at the back of James Potter's head.
Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, half the people that died wouldn't have. So obviously, I don't. It belongs to Jo, the lucky lucky duck.
The Flicking of Not-Really Aerodynamic Objects
a Siriusly Klutzy story.
You know, I never thought that anything could possibly be more boring than History of Magic. Most classes have something enticing that keep you interested for at least the first week, particularly for a muggleborn, like myself. I'm still waiting for that dull day in Charms; the day I don't find out something completely fantastic. History of Magic's dullness hit me about five minutes into my first lesson on the first day of classes of first year. So, needless to say, History of Magic is the most tedious, uninteresting, dullest class there is.
You would think that nothing could ever top its boringness. I did, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. There is something much more boring that History of Magic, and that would be History of Magic without a mate to entertain you!
Alice wasn't in class that day. Why? Because she thought she had the "stomach bug" and thought that she'd better "hurry off to the Hospital Wing" before she "tossed her cookies" all over Professor Binns' wall.
She was off snogging Frank Longbottom in the Ancient Runes corridor (taking advantage of its emptiness while the class was outside examining something or another) and we all knew it.
She left me there to suffer through Professor Binns droning on and on about some pointless war that was settled eight trillion years ago, and I didn't even have someone to play hangman with! Or Exploding Snap! Or look at the funny old wizards on the Chocolate Frog Cards!
Some best mate.
I was half way to my deathbed when I looked up at the clock above his head and saw that I still had forty five more minutes of this. I'd only been in class for fifteen minutes and I was already going completely mad. Absolutely bonkers because there was nothing to do!
Marlene was over on the other side of the room asleep, probably because she was up until four in the morning finishing her essay for Potions, which turned out to be due next Thursday. Remus Lupin was two rows in front of me, but talking to him would mean talking through James Potter and Sirius Black, and that was not something I wanted to do, for the soul reason that I'd say something stupid in front of James and Sirius would take the mickey out of me for it.
Though I suppose I could try my best at talking to James, but let's face it… when it comes to boys I fancy, I say stupid things. Like the time back in second year when I thought Benjy Fenwick (then a fifth year) was the coolest thing since the Cheering Charm and I actually told him that. Of course, who isn't an ignorant little prick at twelve? But my point was that I say stupid things. That's all there is to it.
I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm perfectly capable of holding relatively normal conversations with this boy, as long as there's some topic we're on. Mostly it's with head duties and what we need to get done. But James will joke around with me and I'll try not to prattle off stupid facts, then he'll find it necessary to make fun of my silence.
Take your pick, Jamsey-boy. It's either silence or stupidity.
So instead, I decided to occupy the next forty three minutes with doodling on the parchment that I should have been taking notes on. It was very occupying, that doodling was. I started off with a square and then I patterned the inside. It was a small square, so it really only took up about five minutes of my time. I ripped it off of the paper and rolled it between my fingers until I got a nice little ball, perfect for flicking at someone.
That was when inspiration hit. If he could do it, why wouldn't I? James Potter (while also being a complete babe and a Lily Evans heart stealer) was known for flicking small aerodynamic (mostly) items at random students during class. I should know. I was one of his favorite subjects. Even in History of Magic, where I sit behind him! See what I mean? He's incredible at it, if highly annoying.
Absolutely giddy at the prospect of flicking this little paper ball at someone, I had to try my best at stifling a giggle. I managed to do so, and made a note to myself to curse Alice for making me go truly mad. I realized later that flicking little things at people was highly immature, and I'd always yelled at James for it.
Then I had to pick my target. There was the sleeping Marlene on the other side of the room, of course there were also at least four students in my path to her. Tricky. Would I be able to do it? Probably not.
There was Remus, as I said before, only two rows ahead of me. I could make it a challenge and aim the little paper ball between James and Sirius at an angle so it still hits Remus. Then there was Sirius who was snoozing on his desk, completely unaware of anything. And there was James, who looked to me as if he were taking notes- or drawing idly, bored out of his mind, which was most likely the case.
If I couldn't say something to him without sounding stupid, why not just shoot little paper balls at him? James Potter was my prime target.
I put the little ball on my desk and lowered my head so that I was eye level with it. Now, where to hit? He was tall, so he had a rather long back, not to mention broad shoulders. Of course, there was always the head, which opened up a whole new door of options.
I decided that the first one should be in the back, less noticeable, perhaps. Unless, of course, his hair was so thick that it was like padding and he wouldn't even be able to feel it…
After considering that, I just shrugged to myself and just flicked the little paper ball at his neck, right in between his back and head. Sounded like a good idea at the time.
His hand automatically went up to the back of his neck to rub it, probably to see if anything was there. Though, the way he did it was how he did it all the time. It could have just been a pure coincidence that he put his hand there seconds after I flicked a little paper ball at him. Then, to completely confuse me over whether or not he actually felt it, he did the James Potter Trademark and ran his hands through his hair.
I was stumped.
Did I try again? Was it worth the effort? I still had thirty nine minutes to go, so I figured why not?
I ripped another piece of parchment off and went to roll it into another little ball. But when I saw it, it seemed like a big waste to me. Why flick blank parchment? So I quickly drew a broomstick and a snitch on it before rolling it again.
This time I aimed for his arm. I missed the first time and the broom and snitch fell lamely to the ground. I sighed and looked at the empty seat next to me. I could almost hear what Alice would say at that.
"Great shot, Lily. I'm sure the Chudley Cannons will be calling you any day now for a spot as chaser on their team."
But she can't actually say that because she's off snogging Frank! I'd have to tell her later that she missed a perfectly good opportunity to mock me. Of course, had she been here, I wouldn't be flicking little balls of parchment at James Potter anyway….
I had to think of something creative and witty to put on the next flying ball of parchment, because doesn't it seem like creative and witty things would hit the target better? Even if the one that missed had a broomstick and a snitch. Though I guess if you think about it, snitches never want to hit a target. They just want to keep going. Right, that must be why I missed.
Well, I couldn't think of anything to draw, so I just wrote What do you think of my aim, Potter?
I quickly made it into another ball and placed it on my desk. I didn't think I should risk trying to hit his arm again, that'd be such a waste. So instead, I aimed for his head.
It sailed in a nice arch from my desk to him, and, falling a bit short, hit him in the back instead. I shrugged, just glad that it hit him. He fidgeted a little in his seat but the hand did not return.
Grinning to myself, I tore another piece off and wrote Never knew that Lily Evans had such great aim, eh? I crushed it together and flicked it again.
This time, however, it sailed right over his shoulder and landed with a slight bounce on his desk by his right hand.
That just bloody sucks.
I started going into a panic because I was flicking paper. That's when I realized that the Head Girl shouldn't be flinging paper at the Head Boy, particularly if she fancies that boy. Particularly if she put her full name on the bloody parchment!
The temptation to start bashing my head on the desk was strong, almost overpowering, but I managed to breathe evenly and try to think of what to do. He hadn't seen it yet, from what I saw. It was still lying next to his right hand which was still drawing or taking notes or whatever it was that he was doing.
Okay, I had to think. So I did.
What would Alice tell me in this situation? Well, that didn't take me long to figure out. Alice would just laugh at me and say, "Tough luck, mate." Then she'd find anything in her power to make the situation worse than it was. I don't understand how we're still mates. She does this all the time. But then again, life without Alice would be painfully dull, and I never would have gotten those socks from Hogsmade that past weekend…
But that wasn't what I should have been thinking of! How do you explain a small balled up piece of flying parchment that says Never knew that Lily Evans had such great aim, eh? on it!?
I glanced up from my almost bashing-head-into-desk stance to see if he'd found it. He had, or at least, it wasn't in the same spot. I tried to think of all the possibilities. Maybe I was worrying so much that my breathing was extra heavy and it just happened to get blown off? James's hand could have jolted while he was writing and accidentally knocked it off of the desk? It sensed my pain and embarrassment and did me a favor by jumping off itself?
All of those were stupid, and James was turning around to look at me. Arm resting on the back of the chair with his quill still in hand, he said, "No I didn't."
Falling out of my chair and hiding under my desk was option A. Evaporating, though unlikely, was option B. Saying that I had no idea what he was talking about was option C. And ignoring it was option D.
None of those options seemed like the right thing to do, though hiding under my desk was seriously tempting.
So I decided to play it stupid. "Pardon?"
He grinned. Oh the grin! If embarrassment didn't send me under the desk, he making me melt would have! I managed to keep my composure (sort of, I clung to the sides of my chair) and gave him a questioning look.
"Well, you see," he whispered, tilting back in his chair so that he was now leaning over my desk. "This small little piece of balled up parchment landed on my desk claiming that you had great aim…"
"Did it now?" I asked, biting my lip. Right, I'm never flicking objects at anyone, ever again. Also, I'm never letting Alice skive off classes to go snog Frank ever again. And I'm going to give him a talking to about stealing my best mate while she should be learning a very important subject!
He nodded, not breaking the eye contact was increasing the odds of a Lily-puddle. "Now, I don't think Leon did this," he said, nodding in the direction of the snoozing Leon Myers in the row behind me. "Unless he is very, very talented at multi-tasking."
"Well, you see, I have seen him eat breakfast and do Potions homework at the same time…" I answered. Come on, Leon! Pull through for me!
"I don't think that's quite the same thing." James took the little note from me and laid the crumpled parchment on my desk. "Not to mention, he must have matched your handwriting perfectly."
"Well, I always thought he wrote kind of girly…"
"Mmm," James said. He was grinning again. His grin clearly stated that I did this on purpose! I didn't mean to flick it on the desk, and obviously my little note lies, seeing as I was aiming for his back! Things were not working out in my favor.
Alice would make me say something coherent! Sweet Merlin, why was she not there? He probably thinks I'm absolutely mad, and that my ways of reeling a bloke in were by bragging about myself on little pieces of parchment.
"I wasn't aiming for the desk," I said, trying to cover up my mistake. I looked down to make sure, and the note didn't say his name on it. "Honestly, I was aiming for… for Remus!"
Is that better than James? Arghhh.
"Why?" he asked curiously. Then he winked. "You don't fancy my mate, do you? Because that's highly unfair on my part."
NO! my brain screamed. I fancy you!
But I couldn't really say that out loud so I just did my best to keep my mouth shut. He raised an eyebrow at me, very sexily so might I add.
Of course, being around James Potter makes me not want to do logical things. While I thought I was keeping my mouth shut, I really whispered that. The only one that heard me, however, was James himself. Frankly, I'd rather Remus. Or even Sirius! At least then I could pull it off as a lie.
His eyebrows disappeared into his hair, which made me realize what I'd actually said. I quickly wondered to myself how many times I was going to want to dive under my desk during one class, but then I remembered what was actually going on.
I, in all my idiocy, just declared to James Potter that I fancied him. After flicking small pieces of parchment at him.
Once again I face the question: What would Alice do?
And, again, the answer was: Laugh at me! And then, of course, totally and completely encourage it one hundred percent.
"Do you now?" he asked, breaking the awkward silence that developed while I was trying to figure out what I should do that didn't involve franticly picking at my nails or slipping under my desk.
"A… bit," I said, not looking up from my nails where little pieces of purple nail polish were coming off and fluttering down to land on my skirt.
"Huh," he said thoughtfully, causing me to look up. "Well, in that case, would you like to come to Hogsmade? We can test your aim and see how well you throw snowballs at Sirius?"
"What?" I asked, confused beyond belief. This…this couldn't have taken a turn in my favor, could it have?
"Well, you've got to prove this aim to me somehow," he said with a chuckle.
"Oh… Alright then," I answered dumbly.
He grinned. Well, that was easy. If I'd have known that flicking pieces of parchment at boys was a good way to get them to ask me out when I actually fancied them, I would have done it ages ago. Well, I suppose it was more of a way for me to tell said boy, but whichever way you look at it, I've still got to learn to form actual sentences around James Potter.
I spent the remainder of the class not flicking things at him and instead trying to pay attention to Professor Binns. Three minutes later, I realized that it wasn't going to happen, so I took a nap until the bell rang.
I stood up to walk out of the class and to lunch by myself because Alice abandoned me. As I reached for my books, I realized that they were no longer on my desk. Standing up to see if they were next to me, I saw that James had them under one arm.
"Want to walk to lunch?" he asked, grinning again (there's really only so much of that I can take). I nodded, and he motioned for his friends to leave him. After grabbing my bag, we made our way out the door and he grabbed my hand.
Feeling light headed, I didn't pull it away.
"Hey, Lily!" Alice said, bounding happily up to James and I, completely disregarding our locked fingers. Frank was trailing behind her a bit more slowly, but looking rather pleased. When she finally did notice this odd turn of events (I mean, before class I was head over heels for the boy and after class I've got him? If I didn't live it, I wouldn't have believed it either.) her eyes just about bugged out of her head. "What is this?" she asked with a sweet smile.
I grinned at her, pleased that it was finally my turn to get back at dear, sweet, conniving, little Alice. "Oh, Alice. You missed a very productive class."
A/n: Horray for another random one-shot! I've got a long weekend because of Memorial Day and unused snowdays and such, so I've finally had time to just sit down. Not to mention, no one's bothering me right now (!) so it was a great time to write another one-shot! And when I started it, I was completely bored out of my mind (hence the theme and randomnosity).
Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it!
Much love and little magical pieces of paper for you to flick at that lovely James,