AN: This is just a fun little Caspian/Edmund piece that I came up with. It will obviously be slash and should be three to five chapters long. Fairly movieverse-ish and yes, this is my first time writing movieverse. I love reviews.

Chapter One: Caspian and Susan

Edmund wanted to kill him.

More specifically, Edmund wanted to roast him slowly over a fire and then boil his entrails. Yes, Caspian was turning him into a torture enthusiast. Or perhaps that scenario was rather cannibalistic. Wonderful.

He watched as Susan and Caspian walked along the path in front of him. They reminded him of something out of a Victorian card, despite the fact that Narnia was more medieval than Victorian. Caspian was so gallant that it made Edmund sick to his stomach. Once, he actually stopped to lay his cape on a patch of muddy ground so that Susan could walk across. Disgusting. Edmund made sure to cross immediately after Susan, even though he knew the gesture was only meant for the girls and to ground the cape into the mud with his boots.

The bad part was that neither Lucy nor Peter seemed to mind, very much, being uprooted from their own world and tagging along on Caspian and Susan's courtships. Oh, Caspian usually had some flimsy pretext for calling them. Something that he wanted to consult Peter about or some minor problem that required help, but Edmund had no doubt that his sister was the main attraction. Peter had put up a few weak protests the first time or two. He and Susan weren't supposed to be here, he'd say, but these soon ceased because, Edmund suspected, he was secretly thrilled to be in Narnia, even if only for a day, which is about how long they usually stayed.

Lucy, of course, was always up for a day of fun and being in Narnia was certainly more fun than their own world. The only time when she showed any reluctance at all was when Edmund suggested that perhaps Aslan wouldn't like them, especially Peter and Susan, coming back to Narnia so often. She had thought on this a long time, but responded that if Aslan didn't want them here, then they simply wouldn't be allowed to come. It wasn't as though they could help being pulled from their own world. Edmund thought that she suspected that his own motives for not wanting to be in Narnia were not nearly so high-minded.

Of course, she was right. Edmund's reasons for not wanting to be pulled into Narnia every other day or so were very mundane. At the moment, he was upset because he had a rugby game in three hours back in England and he knew that, after spending all this time in Narnia, that he would be exhausted and play poorly. It wasn't as though he was exactly the best player on the team anyway, but Peter played (and was very good), so God forbid that Edmund want to do something interesting with his time like join the chess team.

But now he was becoming grouchy. Lucy always teased him about being grouchy. Ahead of him, Caspian put his arm around Susan's waist and squeezed her tightly. She giggled. "You know," Edmund said, voicing his frustrations, "I come to Narnia to have adventures, not to watch you grope my sister."

Susan scowled back at him, but Peter and Lucy laughed and even Caspian gave him a sidelong smile.

-- -- --

"Oh lighten up, Ed," Peter told him later when Edmund talked to him at school. "Honestly, it is usually Susan who is the wet blanket."

"I'm not being a wet blanket," Edmund said, knowing that, in fact, he was. "And this whole thing is Susan's fault! We have to drop everything we are doing just so we can watch Caspian and Susan hold hands and frolic through the meadow or something equally stupid. It isn't even as though we get a choice."

Peter who had been grinning at Edmund's outburst frowned at this, thinking. "Don't you ever feel like you could?" he asked. "Not come, if you really, really tried with everything that is in you, I mean."

Edmund looked at his brother for a long moment. "No! I've tried not to come. The stupid horn always pulls me right along."

Peter shrugged. "Maybe it is just me, then." He gave a long sigh. "It's not like you to be so protective of Susan, you know."

Edmund snorted. "I'm not protective. I'm annoyed. And mildly disgusted," Edmund could never quite figure out why seeing Susan and Caspian together disgusted him so, but it did. There was an essential wrongness about it.

"Grow up," Peter told him, lightly. "What you are talking about is perfectly normal behavior for people our age, you know."

-- -- --

Edmund ground his teeth. The Narnians loved the romance that was blooming between Caspian and Susan. Some well-meaning friend had commissioned a portrait of the couple and now they were standing before the painter in matching yellow outfits, trying different poses.

"Well," Edmund said to Lucy who was standing beside him and watching the proceedings (Peter had apparently found something better to do while in Narnia), "I am glad to see that both Susan and Caspian are wearing their prettiest dresses for this portrait."

Lucy giggled at this and Caspian, hearing, laughed as well. They had teased him before about his taste in clothes. Caspian tended to favor very elaborate tunics with frills and designs and lace and satin and billowing sleeves. He suspected that this was as much the Telmarine sense of style for young, attractive men as it was any sort of vanity on Caspian's part, but it was still a bit hard to get used to. Luckily, no one was trying to dress Edmund or Peter up like girls, though they were often presented with tunics that matched both Caspian and the girls in color.

Susan gave Edmund's joke a halfhearted smile at best. "You two tell us what pose looks best," she said. "What if we stand with our fingers barely touching and I look away from him as if shy?" She demonstrated.

"You aren't really that shy," Lucy said.

"You can pose like that if you want to look like you hate your boyfriend," Edmund put in.

"Well, how then?" she asked, with one hand on her hip, apparently a bit miffed at Edmund's sarcastic tone.

Edmund had to fight to keep the smirk off his face. What an opportunity. "Caspian should be on one knee," he said and Caspian dropped to one knee. "Yes, but pull your left knee back farther. Farther," Edmund continued. "Good, now lift one hand up towards Susan. Higher. Higher. And extend the other hand straight outwards. Good. Now, Susan, you put your hand on his face. Yes, like that, only turn his face towards us," Lucy was starting to give Edmund an odd look, but he ignored it. "Caspian, arch your back more. More. More. Mo--" but Caspian couldn't arch his back any more, for at that moment, he fell backwards into a large urn with a bang and the room dissolved into laughter.

Susan, who was the only one not laughing, swooped down on Caspian and helped him up. "Honestly, Edmund, he could have been hurt."

"Oh, what a shame," Lucy exclaimed as Caspian turned around. "You've split your tunic down the back."

"What?" asked Caspian who was still laughing. He turned his head and tried to see his back, which was impossible.

Susan crossed her arms. "You'll have to go change. And so will I. Good job, Edmund."

Caspian put his hands on Susan's arms and smiled down at her. "Don't fret at him. It was my fault. Any fool who can't keep from falling over deserves to have his clothes ruined."

He winked at Edmund taking Susan's arm and leaving the room and Edmund remembered, through the haze on frustration that always accompanied his interactions with Caspian these days, that he had actually quite liked the young prince when they had first met.

-- -- --

Edmund was taking a shower at his school when he felt something pinch at him.

"Oi!" he yelled, looking around for the pervert who had pinched him on the arse. Then he felt a pulling sensation at his elbow.


He made a mad dash for the corner bench where his pajamas were lying, ignoring the fact that the other boys were staring at him. He grabbed the trousers and struggled to put his legs through the holes, then yanked them up his hips and buttoned them. He didn't even have time to grab the shirt before the room jerked around and dissolved into Narnia.

Edmund found himself standing in the middle of a crowded room (of course!) looking right at Caspian. The horn always called them directly to one of the rooms in Caspian's castle. Apparently, they would always go where they thought they were needed and they knew, now, that they weren't needed at the ruins of Cair Paravel.

He saw that his brother and sisters were standing nearby. Lucy had a toothbrush shoved in her mouth and Peter looked as though he had been asleep when he got the call, but somehow Susan was perfectly combed and looked like a girl out of a magazine despite being in her robe and nightgown.

Everyone was looking at him. There was perfect silence in the room until Lucy gave a small, suppressed giggle. This seemed to loosen up the atmosphere a bit and there was uneasy laughter all around. Edmund crossed his arms over his chest, partly out of anger, but mostly because he was freezing.

"I'm glad that you find my near nudity so funny," Edmund whispered to Peter, furiously. He felt naked. The thin white cotton trousers were clinging to his wet legs and he wasn't even wearing any underwear.

Caspian who wasn't laughing, but whose mouth was gaping open, spoke. "I -- you have my sincerest apologies, King Edmund. All of you have my sincerest apologies. I have no way of knowing what time it is in your world when I blow the horn or what you are doing. I hope --"

"Yes, yes, you're sorry, we get it," Edmund interrupted. He was dripping all over the marble floor. "Can I please go somewhere to wash the soap out of my hair and change my clothes?"

"Er, right," Caspian said. He motioned at a servant. "Please show the kings and queens where they can freshen up."

Edmund was led to one of the castle's many guest room and given clothes and a bowl of water to wash his hair. Almost immediately, however, Caspian himself entered the room and closed the door. "I am so, so sorry," he burst out. "I wouldn't do anything to try to embarrass you, but there was just no way for me to tell that you were – um. Occupied." He waved his hand vaguely at Edmund's torso. Caspian always seemed to alternate between practically worshiping Edmund and his siblings as ancient kings and queens and slipping into bossing them around. Apparently, today he was in the former mood.

Edmund cocked his head to the side. "Well there is one way," he said. "To see to it that you never embarrass me again. Stop calling her."

Caspian looked at him in confusion. "Her? You mean Queen Susan?"

"Who else would I bloody well mean?" Edmund asked, crossing his arms over his chest, as if to shield himself.

"Oh. Right," Caspian seemed to be unsure about what to say next.

Edmund sighed. "Are you going to give me a chance to change or are you going to stand there all day gawking at me?"

Caspian's face went bright red. Well, he had rather been eyeing Edmund, his eyes trailing up and down Edmund's naked chest and all the rest of him, which was barely clothed and rather wet.

"Right," Caspian said, finally, backing away and knocking over an expensive looking vase in the process.

He bent down to pick it up. "You know," Edmund said. "It has been 1300 years since a man looked at me like that."

This caused Caspian to almost drop the vase again. He managed to put the item back on the table and practically fled from the room.