Bella and Edward share their first true kiss.
Disclaimer: I don't own twilight. But I'm working on a fake-cut-out of Robert Pattinson.
His cold hands slithered down my neck. I felt myself slowly give itself over to him. Surrendering everything I have and giving him everything that I possibly could offer him. My soul, my heart, my body, my blood. Everything that could no longer be anchored and locked with my humanity.
His lips brushed down my face stuttering and hesitating.
I sat completely immobile in his lap. Facing him, our faces crushed together and his arms securing me to him. His arms felt so right around me. The curve of his lips so familiar, but so mesmerizing as they brushed the crease in my elbow and worked their way up to the edge of my jaw. His smell penetrating the air and causing my mouth to water. His warm golden eyes enamored on mine, the smoldering depths swirling in sadness.
The air around us was warm and languid, swirling in a pleasant way. His cold fingers trailed down my arms, the tips of each finger memorizing the feel of the goose bumps strewn across my every nerve. My dark hair was in a soft pony at the nape of my neck, loose but securely away from my throat where his breath was playing.
I was numb, not in a bad way, not in the way I had grown accustomed when he was not with me, when my life in retrospect was over. But I was numb in tranquility, cutting every nerve ending off, trying to disappear from my body.
The body that shook in anticipation and frightened excitement. The body pulsing with hot thick blood turning through my veins and dosing my head in a sheen of perspiration and red. The body I had grown accustomed too, from my clumsy balance to my knobby knees. My long dark hair and porcelain skin. My oval face and almond eyes, my frail shoulders and my vulnerable disposition. The body that ultimately had a time limit.
I could hear my heart thumping louder and louder as the clock slowly continued to turn. Each minute bringing me closer and closer…
"I'm ready," I stammered my teeth barely able to form the words. Those two words that would change everything I was, and everything I' am.
My words sounded unsure and hesitant. But they were the truest words I could ever say. I was ready. Nothing in the entire world felt so true, nothing could compete with the rightness and truth in theses words, in these life changing syllables.
"Bella," his words were choked and shaky. They didn't match him, his usual confident articulate voice, flowing and velvet, musical yet soft, perfect in everyway. His voice shook in a shaky exhale, unsure and hesitant, barely fractioning on a severe whimper.
I grabbed his face, forcing his jaw forward to connect his eyes on mine. His golden eye held so much impending emotion. Despair mixed with guilt, mixed with hatred and pain and tantalizing devastation. All directed at him and his promise.
I could feel his control breaking. His body shook. I secured his face between my clammy hands. Bringing my forehead down to rest on his. "Edward I love you…" the words were so inept, they barely captured what I felt for him, what I'd do for him. But they were true, as true as my choice to spend eternity with him. Maybe in eternity I could find the words to describe what it is that he does to me. Love, such a simple almost soundless word, but so powerful in the meaning, summing up the strongest emotion that anyone could describe or express. But they still failed, I was farther then in love with him, I was passed understandable speech and understandable action. I would spend the rest of forever proving how much I was devoted to him, how much farther I was then simply in love with him.
"Please," I whispered my breath stuttering and shaky. "Edward… please." Tears slithered down my burning cheeks; my lids drooped and sagged, releasing more tears with their surrender. I could only beg, could only plead for the impending torture that would soon be bestowed upon me.
I couldn't see him, but I could feel his cold breath fiercer on my face, stinging my cheeks with cold iciness. His hands cupped my cheeks, cradling my face in his hold. His smooth thumbs tracing my cheekbones and smothering the tears that clung to my eyelashes. I opened my eyes with his silent urge.
I could see myself reflected in his fierce eyes. Pallid and tear stained, surrendering everything to him. My eyes were rimmed in red, my lips chapped and my cheeks in flames.
I have never wanted anything more then what I silently begged him for. Everything. I asked him for everything.
"Bella, there's no going back…" his voice was still ragged and unfamiliar in a deep despairing tone.
"Edward!" I stopped him. My eyes flaming in passion. My defeated hands, wringing and clutching at his shirt. My face bursting in fervor. "I never want to go back. There is nothing to ever want without you…I only want you." Fresh tears overwhelmed my face and my words mangled.
His face was so twisted in pain. I couldn't handle the sight. His golden eyes were hazed in guilt, every line showed his torture. I closed my eyes from the sight.
"Bella," he whispered, his cold breath on my jaw. "Bella," against the curve of my cheek, "Bella," his lips dragged across my eyelids, "Bella," tasting my tear stained cheeks, "Bella," against the small opening that my lips allowed.
His hands still braced on my neck, and mine tangled in the hair at the back of his head, both securing each other to be as close as possible. And then he closed the gap between our lips. His mouth gentle and soft on mine. Telling me how much he loved me without the word, his kiss answering my plea. Telling me everything, and promising me everything in that split second where our lips met.
He broke away and set my forehead on his. His eyes penetrating me to my core. Telling me and repeating his plea.
I know his biggest fear was that I would resent him, that I would feel cheated, that he stole my life away from me. Nothing was farther from the truth.
"I only want you," I repeated barely coherent through my shaking lips. It was the only way to reassure him. The only thing I could say. The only truth I had left.
The atmosphere changed, I could feel the seconds ticking faster and faster. I couldn't wait any longer. I knew he could feel it too, could feel the stalling crumble because we waited too long, stretching the moment the farthest it could be stretched.
I had nothing left to say and neither did he. We had to let our actions speak.
It started so familiar, his mouth gentle and soft against my jaw the touch of a lover slithering down my neck so tender and safe. But my heart accelerated as his lips connected on the soft thin skin of my throat where he kissed my racing pulse.
The feeling changed instantaneously as he opened his cold jarring mouth on me. The mouth of a monster, the epiphany of fear. The touch of a lover changed into sinister contact. His left hand tightened around my neck and his arms braced against me. I took in a deep breath as his teeth pierced my throat.
I gasped loud in the empty room; the walls began to close in on me. I struggled in his embrace. My reflexes taking over my body as I tried to pull him away. He was quick expecting my reaction, tightening his hold around me, his mouth still at my throat.
I could feel the drain of my blood where it emptied into his mouth. That was the only sound that echoed aside from my ragged breathing and struggling limbs. That distinct sound of his swallow.
Then he broke away. My vision was disorientated and I realized that I was screaming, the burning already conquering me and flaring down to the end of my toes.
He shook and started to cry in dry heaves. I found his face; his eyes were dosed in a fresh bout of piercing ruby. His pain etched on every line of his tortured face. His face in so much agony and torment. I found that my pain slowly faded and the only pain that existed was the torture reflected in his eyes.
"Edward," I cried, taking his face in my crumbling grasp. I could smell the blood twisting through the air and dosing my vision in red. The pain was starting to surface but I couldn't let it take over me again, not without reassuring him. I felt numb again, the tiniest shield blocking me from the fire for one last word of coherency.
"I love you," I choked. I Bit my lip till I tasted the blood from the pressure, I could slowly feel the fire creep its way and begin to seethe and force through my bloodstream.
"I love you too Bella," his voice was agonized and distorted, but I recognized his voice this time. The world began to disappear and pain conquered my every cell.
And just before I slipped over the edge, to greet the inevitable agony. I felt him. His cold hands knotted in my hair. His icy breath bathing my face stained in perspiration and the last raging heat of blood. His mouth covered mine.
His lips urged mine open and I greedily followed. The pain didn't exist anymore; nothing existed, except for this kiss. His tongue fought to enter my mouth.
He kissed me. And no words could describe this kiss; nothing could express the passion burning in our desires and contact. The boundaries didn't exist anymore. His tongue was cold and urgent, tasting me and filling me in the promise of everything.
I fought against him, pushing into his mouth and dominating his senses. I cut my mouth on the first attempt, the blood running fast in between out connected lips. He gasped at the unexpected dosage of gore but didn't pull back. Slower, I entered his mouth and greeted my desire, tasting his venom mixed with my blood.
I couldn't breathe, feel, see, or begin to taste. My senses dominated everything, my reflexes taking over. I used my last bit of strength to grind our bodies together and deepen our contact connected at our mouths.
And then the fire rose, taking over all reason. I broke away and fell into oblivion. The pain licked and flared at my insides. It drove through my veins. I writhed and thrashed in intense agony.
But it didn't matter, because this would pass.
I endured it in Edward's arms. The promise of everything still lingering on my tongue and the seal of love helping me endure the torture before I took the first step and met everything.
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