AN: I don't know if I'll continue writiing that story, I'm really sorry...
Review anyway, please!!
Blood's Rule Chapter4: A closed mind
I recognized immediately that voice, even though the last time I heard it, she was yelling and sobbing, I could still know this voice belonged to Bella. How I recognized it was still a mystery, though... And her scent came to me as she spoke, a wave of a strong fragrance, once again filled with freesia and other floral scents. I gripped the table to contain my thirst. I was well fed, though. And with human blood too. If every time I smelled her would be like that, it would be problematic, I thought, as my throat burned from an undying ache. But I was trained to resist from all these years I spent with Carlisle... Anyway, even if it weren't for all those factors, logic would have told me it was her. I turned slightly, adding her into my field of vision. And I couldn't turn my eyes away. Even when her face was wet and red from the tears, and her hair was so messy, she was beautiful. I was once again drowning into those deep brown eyes, And now, even if I could still feel the anger and resentment melted to deep sadness in the background, they were now filled with curiosity. A curiosity I couldn't fill, because I didn't know myself. Or rather I didn't want to know, I added more truthfully. Maybe I could just give her some half truths...
"Well, to be honest, the real reason why I came here is your scent. I never smelled anyone as... let's say..." I hesitated, I didn't want to scare them, but I wanted to be as exact as possible. I still knew her father was in the same room, but he was in the back of my mind, I didn't really care, in fact... "Let's just say it is beyond comparison."
"You can speak freely, you know... It's not as if anything could scare me, now... I'm desensitized...in a way."
I threw a look at her father, to tell her that maybe she couldn't be scared, but he still could. Taking this as his clue to leave, he rose from his chair and said he had paper work to do. As he passed through the doorway where his daughter still stood, he hugged her and murmured a few words in her ear. I looked away: the moment was too private. But as much as I wanted to block it out, I couldn't help but hear what he said: "I don't think he's like the others. But be careful all the same. And remember the most dangerous things are often the harmless looking ones. Usually, when beautiful memories and joyful feelings are created, it is always painful when it comes to an end. Trust must be earned before given. I love you." Bella's face showed puzzlement and confusion. But was she only trying to understand or was she puzzled by their meanings? I didn't understand what he meant but I could always check... I didn't want to intrude, though, and those where private thoughts, the bound between her and her father. I had no right to intrude. But I had the capacity. And curiosity was burning me. But I wouldn't intrude. And... What if he wasn't thinking about that right now but about everything I told him? I could then know if there was something he didn't understand... But no, his thoughts were still worrying but he seemed concentrated on the task of writing down what I said to remember it later. Nothing interesting. I turned my attention back on the girl in front of me She was still here, curious and waiting for the rest of my answer. I asked another question instead.
"How long have you been here?"
"From the beginning of the conversation, I think... I woke when you were going down the stairs."
"Why didn't you interrupt me when..."
"...when you decided I was your new personal prey? You know, that idea is quite disturbing... But it's not as if I had anything to say on the matter..."
"But you do. Miss Swan, this is all your decision. If you want me to stay out of this affair, tell me and you won't hear of me again, unless you call me or come to my house, of course... Then I think I'll help you out if you asked."
"Why? It's nonsense, I'm perfectly normal! Why would you help me?"
"The truth is... I respect you, Miss Swan. You're the first one to talk to me without fear, just honesty... And I admire that you're not one of those hypocritical and petty humans who populate this world. You are not 'normal' as you say, but you are, in fact, very amazing. And I don't know why but I 'd like to know you a little bit more, if you don't mind."
"Why? Would that be any useful? It's not as if you won't kill me in the end. What will it change if you get to know me? I'll only feel betrayed when you'll end my life."
She came toward me, bent down to be at my level and stared deeply into my eyes.
"Kill me. Kill me now. It will be much easier for both of us. I'll be happy those hunters from Phoenix won't get what they wanted and you'll get my blood. You said earlier that it smelled more appetizing than any other blood you ever smelled. I know you want it."
She inched closer and added:
Her sweet breath hit my face, and I lost reason. She wanted me to kill her. It wouldn't be evil if I took her now. I would just follow her wish... Her father would be devastated, but who cared? I did. But it wasn't really important. Collateral damage. I only killed criminals, but if I decided to kill one, I could as well kill both… What would be the difference? I would still be a monster! But if I tried to follow Carlisle path again? I wouldn't really be a monster anymore. Would Bella still think the same? She would most likely be dead in thirty seconds... And why would I care about how she feels about me?
I knew I couldn't live with myself if I killed her. I couldn't even live with myself if I killed her father, but she was different. She wasn't a normal human, she was much more interesting. But I couldn't understand her, and I wanted to. And I wanted her to trust me.
I noticed that I took her frail body on my lap and put my arms around her delicately. The monster in me acted before I noticed, while I wasn't paying attention. Her scent clouded my mind for a moment but I recovered quickly. She was resting against my chest, resigned to her fate which would never happen. Not from me, at least. I made my decision. I would let her live, and I wouldn't betray her.
Her body was still resting against mine, her breath shallow, her heartbeat racing, but everything changed. My arms around her were protecting her and not holding her back anymore. My head bent over her neck, moved upward, my lips barely brushing against her skin until I was by her hear. Her heartbeat increased. Fear? I saw a blush on her cheeks. Her breath caught as I murmured:
"I told you I did not kill innocents."
I held her tighter against me and drew myself away from her ear, and her neck, to rest my head against hers, in her hair. Her scent was almost driving me mad, but it seemed to be easier as time went on. I continued talking louder.
"I won't kill you. It would probably kill your father as well, and you don't want that. Don't worry, those in Phoenix won't get you. I will not betray you, Bella. Never forget that."
I held her for a few minutes more, then I released her, but she didn't move. I noticed she was crying silently.
"Why? Why...?" She was whispering shakily. I returned the question.
"Why do you want to die that much? Why don't you want to live?"
"Nothing...Nothing holds me back here anymore. I'm alone...I don't have any friends, nor family, nor anyone close to me left, ...except Charlie...but I'm just... just...a burden for him. I'll just attract danger here... And a whole coven of vampire right here... And put him in danger... And I even cause trouble to people I don't know...Like you... You'll have to fight to protect me...A perfect stranger..."
"Firstly, I don't mind at all fighting this coven, I was getting bored, anyway. And it might be a good reason to call my family; it has been a long time since I last saw them. Secondly, you're not a burden for your father, you're actually the reason he's alive. 'His own personal sunshine' were his exacts words, I think."
"I never heard him say that."
"He never did. He's much too shy. But it doesn't keep him from thinking it..."
"'Thinking'? You read minds?"
She looked both curious and disturbed. I understood. I would probably feel the same. But it was rare to find people who weren't just disgusted and terrified at the mere mention of unusual things. Even slightly different humans were outcasts. Was she one of them? She seemed more and more fascinating to me as time went on. But why wasn't she fighting? Why wasn't she repulsed by me, who was like those who killed her family?
"I can read minds, yes... But I would rather like you to stay silent about it. This way, I can know when people are truthful or hypocritical..."
"But you can't read my mind?"
"How do you know?"
"Firstly, you would have known I was there, listening. Secondly you wouldn't have to ask these questions if you could. Thirdly, the look of surprise on your face wasn't an act when I asked you to kill me. Then it was hidden by pure hunger, but it was still there, even though I had made my mind up long ago. You could have been surprised I actually had the guts to say it, but even then you wouldn't have been that surprised. And it wasn't the only time you were surprised by what I said. Fourthly, you just told me so. And, if I still need a proof, I just have to think about something very rude and see how you react."
"I'm impressed. You're both smart and perceptive. It's rare these days..."
It was perfectly true. And I failed to add "and absolutely beautiful" which was just as true. And becoming even truer as a light pink blush crept on her cheeks. I had to go before lust overwhelms me. Blood lust... or just plain human lust? Blood lust, of course, I'm not human anymore, and nowhere near it.
"I have to go. May I see you tomorrow?"
"Actually, I'll be at school."
"Will you be okay? I mean... I heard their thoughts, they'll be worse than Spanish Inquisition, you know? Mostly about your past..."
"I don't really care, sooner or later, they'll leave me alone. I'm not that interesting..."
So she was an outcast. But did she seriously think she wasn't interesting?
"You're wrong. I think you're absolutely fascinating," I said softly.
"You're just saying that because you can't read my mind and it puzzles and frustrates you."
"Maybe I am..." I paused, and then asked: "Would it bother you if I stay around tomorrow? Just in case you're in trouble?"
"I don't mind. Anyway, I'm your prey. It's not as if what I'll say will change anything. It's not as if you weren't the one who made the decisions and ruled the others." I noted the sarcasm and the bitterness in her voice.
"You're wrong, you know. I wouldn't have come if you didn't want me to. Anyway, I really have to go, now. I'll see you tomorrow. Sleep well."
Her scent was beginning to take all over the place, and it was becoming harder to resist. And I needed to collect my thoughts... So I left quickly, but not too fast. I stayed at human pace. I didn't really want to leave. But I had too. All of this was driving me insane. As soon as I was out of the house, I ran to my car. I put it at full speed and went home, my mind racing.. Maybe I'll have to do something I haven't done for two years. Something I wanted to do all along but never dared to. Calling my family.