Her eyes glittered in the dim light, her mouth curled into a small smile as if she knew what I was thinking. I expected my body to tense up, as it always did when she got too close, too close for me to resist her blood for long. Now she was defiantly too close, but also not close enough.

Lying on the ground, her entire body was pressed against my torso, with no room between us. Instead I started to relax, allowing myself to sink deeper into her deep brown eyes, reflecting the stars dancing above.

Her thin arms lay across my chest, releasing strong waves of joy as the heat seeped into my un-beating heart. For the warmth of her delicate body I would give anything. And soon I will be stealing it.

"Stop worrying, Edward" she whispered, tapping my nose with her slender pale finger. Too quickly for her to react I captured her hand in mine, a butterfly in iron net. I swung her upwards with me so we sat facing each other, her hand still in mine.

Her heart sped up at my simple touch, and I had to force back a smile as I lifted her hand to my mouth. I softly brushed the palm of her hand with my lips, stopping where I felt the slightly raised half-moon scar, where my teeth had been inside her a year ago.

I had dreamed of that moment for the first few months I knew her. Now I just wanted to be with her, although a small part of me is constantly remembering the taste of her blood, with my perfect memory.

I realized I had dropped her hand; it now lay in her lap, as we sat cross-legged, facing each other, bathed in moonlight.

If only time could stop.

A wedding barge started to come down the river, the summer wind bringing sounds of laughter and music to my ears. As one song ended a silence grew, and I decided to act on the moment, be spontaneous, as Alice tells me I need to be.

I cleared my throat. "Bella, would you like to dance?" I asked, not waiting for an answer.

I pulled her up with me, placing her feet on top of mine in one fluid motion. A new song started and I started singing it to her, her hearing is not quite as sensitive. We started moving to the music.

I just want the best for you girl
But I don't think I really know
what that means

I know you bring the best out of me

The song reminded me of when I left Bella, not too long ago. I am still surprised she forgave me so easily, that we just slipped back into the same pattern as before. It was almost as if I never left.


But time has been kind
in a weird kind of way
Cause I've been waiting for this feeling to leave
If I can hold onto this feeling this long
Maybe I can get you to hold me

In Bella and I's love story it was more her feelings that I expected to change, expected to fade. But she continued to love me, the monster that I am, as if I deserved it. When I felt her heartbeat pounding so close to mine, I almost felt human again.

Don't you believe, girl
You'll change the world
At least you changed the world for me

How true.

If there was any one thing Bella ever did, was change me, she changed my life. She turned me from the depressed monster that I was, into Edward, the man she loved. I was me again.

I won't be sorry if you leave me girl
Cause I'm the world's biggest fan of clich├ęs
I'll set you free then I'll love like I'm not
Hurting in the world's worst ways

But I don't know if I can make it alone
And I don't have much more left to lose
I can't say for sure just where I'll end up
I just want to end up there with you

If Bella left me, if she chose to live, if she didn't choose me, I would understand, but I don't think I would continue existing. There is only one way to kill a vampire but there is more than one way to destroy its soul, whatever is left of it, and leave it an empty shell.

If Bella left me I doubt Edward would ever walk this earth again.

Don't you believe, girl
You'll change the world
At least you changed the world for me

I looked down at her, smiling as I saw she was looking up at me, her eyebrows furrowed together, concern filling her eyes.

She could tell what this song was doing to me. I leaned down a bit and kissed her, her warm lips caressing mine with almost unimaginable delicacy. On another level of my mind I somehow concentrated on the song, although continuing singing it was out of the question.

When the darkness never ends
And my world's crashing in
And it starts to turn again
Will you believe?

When I won't get over you
And my world splits in two
When I just can't make it through
Will you believe?

The lyrics faded into nothing as the boat finally got too far away for even me to hear. I instead kissed Bella again, with more force than needed. There was only one week until the wedding, August 13th.

Only one week until I had to prove my love to Bella. Twice.

I fell back onto the ground, and let out a big sigh. I knew that getting married to Bella, and changing her would be on of the best turning points of my life, because I would finally have someone to share my existence with.

I knew I was being silly. I was worried when I should have been ecstatic. Typical me.

"Edward," Bella asked tentatively, kneeling at my side "what's wrong?"

"Oh Bella, there is nothing wrong" I internally cursed myself for making her worry. "In fact I am feeling pretty lucky right now. Almost too lucky."

Still not convinced she lay down beside me, "You know I love you, right, Edward?"

I pulled her closer, relishing in her awkwardness, "I love you too"

I intertwined our fingers, feeling the familiar heat soak into my dead hand.

And I never wanted to let go.