Disclaimer : I'll go emo if you make me say it.
Around him, snow fell. Snowflakes attached themselves to his eyelashes and dark head of hair, onyx eyes scrutinising the piece he had spent the past thirty-five minutes working on. A dark grey sky scattered with even darker clouds and trees naked of leaves was his new masterpiece's backdrop--and besides his new work of creative genius--white and flecks of the red paint that was the Team 7 bridge was all Sai could see.
On a whim the boy had decided to create his snowy work of art...eh, the young man had nothing better to do while he was waiting for his late teammates. And there the young man was, devoid of any emotions over half an hour later, staring at his piece and wondering what he could do to finish it (it was missing something...Sai just wasn't sure what it was yet.) as he was interrupted by the shrill voice of his teammate and tentative(?) best friend, Uzumaki Naruto.
"Oi, Sai! Whatcha doing!?" shouted the exuberant blond Genin, a bright smile lighting the boy's naturally handsome features as he skidded to a halt beside the dark haired teen, the white cloak the young man wore damp from the melted ice.
He looked every bit the son of the Yondaime as he stood before Sai...and the dark haired artist wondered if Naruto would ever let him draw him.
'A question for another day...' The raven haired boy mused to himself.
"What does it look like, Dickless?" Sai retorted plainly, dark eyes now on his blue-eyed friend. "I never thought that because you didn't have a penis meant you wouldn't have a brain, either."
Clenching a fist, Naruto growled in response. "What the Hell, Sai!?"
The ex-member of Root merely smiled, shaking his head. "Dickless and brainless...what a combination."
The idea suddenly hit him like a kunai, and mentally slapping himself for his stupidity, Sai reached into his pocket and pulled out the missing piece that would complete possibly his greatest work of art yet. With a genuine smile, Sai attached what was needed, turning to his blond companion. "What do you think...Naruto?"
The blond merely snickered in response, shaking his head.
Haruno Sakura was late.
She knew it.
'Dammit, I'm gonna be later than Kakashi-sensei! What'll the others say!? My STUPID alarm clock! Go DIE!'
Pulling her crimson poncho over her salmon head, the kunoichi winked seductively at her mirror before leaping out of her open window--emerald eyes widening as they locked with the coal ones of Uchiha Sasuke in surprise.
"Sasuke-kun!" The apprentice to the Hokage called in bewilderment, landing gracefully in her front garden, the snow crunching beneath her boot-covered feet. "What're you doing here? We have a meeting with Kaka-sensei and the others right now and we're late! ...Were you out with Hinata-chan and forgot about the time again?" The pink haired girl's expression changed into a knowing look, wriggling her eyebrows suggestively.
Sasuke snorted, though he never met her eyes. "Let's go."
Sakura merely laughed in response, and gripping the dark haired boy's gloved hand the kunoichi shot off toward Team Kakashi's training grounds, grinning at her dark haired friend along the way.
"...That's a very...interesting piece of art you've created there...Sai-kun." Hatake Kakashi stated blankly as his mismatched eyes scanned the art that greeted him at Team 7's bridge (it was their bridge when Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto carved their names into it whilst waiting for Kakashi to show up one day four years earlier), mildly wondering where the final members of his little surrogate family were.
Sasuke and Sakura were never normally later than even he.
Yamato merely stared at the work of "art" at the bridge in distaste, before turning his "ghoul eyes" on the blond haired Genin who seemed to be amused by the ANBU's response.
"Naruto, Sai, where are Sasuke and Sakura?" Kakashi questioned, turning to the younger members of his squad.
Sai raised an eyebrow. "Am I the Man-bitch or the Hag? How should I know where they are?"
Naruto laughed heartily upon hearing this, "Man-bitch! That's awesome! Sasuke would probably kill you if he heard you call him that...so would Sakura-chan, for that matter..."
"Call me what, dobe?"
The blond instantly turned to face his best friend, chuckling weakly. "N-nothing, Sasuke. Good morning, Sakura-chaaan!" He then cried out to his female teammate/girlfriend, grinning toothily as the pinkette returned his wide grin, kissing the blond on the cheek.
"Good morning, Naruto. Everyone." Sakura then looked at Sai's art, eyes widening. "Sai...what's that supposed to be?"
Sai smiled. "It's the first snowman I've ever made, Sakura-san..."
Sakura laughed, nodding. "Well of course I know it's a snowman, Sai, but what's that carrot doing down there?" The kunoichi bent down and plucked the bright orange carrot from the snow.
"Well, it's a snowman, not a snowwoman, Sakura-san. That carrot is there to represent his pe--"
Letting out a startled cry, Naruto pulled his clueless friend into a headlock, preventing the dark haired boy from completing his sentence. "SHUT IT, SAI!" The blond hissed.
Sakura smiled brightly at Naruto and Sai, who was currently turning a shade of blue due to the lack of air. "His what, Sai-kun?"
Sai glanced at Naruto, ignoring the blond's frantic eyes as the pink haired kunoichi looked down at the carrot clenched in her gloved hands.
Naruto, Sasuke, Yamato and even Kakashi (though you could barely see it in Kakashi's case) all paled considerably as the carrot suddenly exploded in a million pieces, Sakura's eyes venomous.
Wrenching his face free from Naruto's suffocating grip, Sai smiled. "What is it, Sakura-san? Upset the snowman's penis is bigger than Naruto-kun's?"
The twin yells that escaped the lips of Haruno Sakura and Uzumaki Naruto were heard in Suna, the Kazekage Sabaku no Gaara turning to his elder brother Kankurou as he finished signing a form on his desk.
"I wonder who insulted Sakura-san and Naruto?"
The puppet-master shook his head. "Have no idea...but man, must they be stupid."
A/N : And there you have it, "Carrots". This little ficlet was inspired by the piece "Snowman" by Nekoni on deviantart (check out her gallery, it's awesome!). While my story is different to her comic strip (like having Sasuke, Kakashi, Yamato, Gaara and Kankurou in the story, not to mention having Sasuke paired off with Hinata and having Naruto paired with Sakura XD), the idea of Sai giving his snowman a carrot penis was Nekoni's, so yeah...not my genius.
Hope you guys enjoyed, please review!