Title: Waiting on a Phone Call
Pairing: Past Dean/Sam
Summary: He knows he can be expecting a call from Sam, his brother has never made light of this specific day, has always found a way to make it special, and Dean knows his brother won't let the fact that he went to college or the tension between the Winchester family members stop him from calling his big brother, not today.
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, nor do I know any of the actors that appear in this fic. This is just for my own entertainment and enjoyment.
Waiting on a Phone Call
For the first time, in what has probably been months, Dean wakes up with a smile on his face; grinning so wide that it practically hurts. Sammy left for college months ago, took off and has only called a few seldom times. John, of course, won't speak to Sam, but Dean is always eager to hear from his younger brother. He hasn't told Sam that, he has his no chick-flick rule for a reason after all, but he can admit it to himself with no problems.
Things haven't been the same since Sam took off and left him behind, and Dean still can't help feeling bitter about that at the best of times. He understands Sam's need for normalcy, and he wants Sam to become that awesome lawyer he's trying so hard to be, but Sam has seemingly totally disregarded him in all of this. They are brothers after all, and Dean doesn't think he's asking for too much, just some frequent phone calls and an invitation to visit Sam in sunny California.
Despite all that, however, Dean is determined not to let that ruin his day. He is determined not to let anything get him down today, because for one day out of the year he is going to be carefree and light of heart. He is going to make the best of the day. Doesn't matter what he does, he is going to indulge himself, with no guilt, and he's going to do it with a grin on his lips.
Besides, today is not a day he wants to spend arguing with his brother over the choices he's made. He knows he can be expecting a call from Sam, his brother has never made light of this specific day, has always found a way to make it special, and Dean knows his brother won't let the fact that he went to college or the tension between the Winchester family members stop him from calling his big brother, not today.
Just the thought of talking to his brother again after months of radio silence sends an excitement through him that he would never admit to feeling. It has been a while since he's heard from Sam, and he can admit that he misses the little geek boy. He never thought he'd see the day where he would miss Sam's bitchface; miss those puppy eyes that could get Sam anything he wanted from Dean. Hell, he even sometimes misses Sam getting all emo on him. Not that he would ever admit that aloud, but he can tell himself the truth, at the very least.
It has been far too long since he's heard from his pain in the ass little brother and he's starting to feel the distance that's stretched out between them. All their lives it's always been Sam and Dean, they've always been there for each other, all they've ever had was one another to depend on. But now Dean feels like he's been left out in the cold, left alone. Sure, his dad might be there, but it just isn't the same as having his Sammy.
That's okay, though. None of that matters today because today he is expecting a call from his brother. And with that knowledge, nothing can bring Dean down.
Rising from his bed, he pulls some clean clothes out of his dresser and proceeds into the bathroom, intent on taking a long hot shower. He isn't quite sure what he's going to do with the rest of his day, being alone and all. Which, yeah, is kind of depressing, but he isn't going to let it get him down. But it doesn't matter anyway, because he knows the highlight of his day will be that long distanced phone call. Besides, what better way to start the day than with a hot, relaxing shower?
Mind set, he turns on the shower and fixes the temperature to his liking. He then strips down and steps beneath the spray.
Turning off the burner, Dean takes the frying pan full of scrambled eggs over to his plate and shovels them onto it. Pouring cold water onto the sizzling hot pan, he watches the steam rise up for a few moments before shutting off the water and dropping the pan into the empty sink. Lastly, he picks up his glass of Minute Maid before taking his plate of bacon and eggs into the dining room.
Placing the plate on the table, he pulls out a chair and sits down. He glances at his cell phone from where he laid it on the table, almost willing it to ring, before digging into his breakfast. His mind is racing with a million, useless, and jumbled thoughts, mainly to keep him from thinking about Sam. For the most part, it works, but Sam still has a way of creeping in now and again.
He can't help wondering what Sam is doing right now. Probably in one of his classes, he decides. He hasn't told Sam, but he is damn proud of him for going to college; for having the courage to do what he wants even though their dad pretty much gave him an ultimatum. He has always wanted to tell Sam how proud he is, but the words have never left his lips on the few occasions they've spoken on the phone. He isn't quite sure how to bring it up, especially since there is always this underlying tension and awkwardness between them.
He honestly couldn't be prouder of his brother for having the guts to do something Dean, himself, never could. Don't get him wrong, sometimes he's so upset with Sam that he wants to scream at him and call him a selfish bastard, and he hates not having his brother around, but that doesn't mean he isn't proud of him, either. How could he not? The little geek boy got into college, and is smart enough to be a lawyer, Dean's damn proud of that and he knows their dad is too, even if he isn't showing it.
Dean startles when his phone starts ringing but a smile soon covers the width of his face. He scrambles for his vibrating cell and flips it open.
"Sammy?" He asks immediately and waits a beat before speaking again, when the silence drags on. "Man, you there?"
"Uh, I think I have the wrong number," a low pitched voice speaks, decidedly not Sam since it's far too feminine. "Is Janine there?"
Dean's joy deflates and he shakes his head, trying not to feel too disappointed. "Sorry, you have the wrong number."
The girl apologizes before quickly hanging up and Dean flips his cell closed with a resounding snap. It's okay, it's still early, plenty of time for him to call, Dean tells himself as he finishes his breakfast and then takes his plate to the sink, along with his empty glass.
Faced with the rest of the day and an empty house, his dad being out on another hunt, Dean decides to wash the Impala and then give it a good wax job. Gotta keep his baby in tip top condition, after all. Pocketing his cell phone, he heads out of the house and into the bright sunshine.
The Impala waits faithfully for him in the driveway, gleaming like the beauty she is. His precious car doesn't really need a wax job, but it will pass the time and it couldn't hurt to give her a touch up. Grabbing the hose and a wash bucket, Dean makes his way over to his baby. He greets her with a loving caress to her hood and sits the wash bucket at his feet, wide smile stretching his face as he stares down upon his pride and joy.
After having gone to the local bar for a few games of pool, just for fun, and to the liquor store to buy a celebratory case of beer, at the same time unashamedly showing off the Impala, Dean has returned to the house. He has managed to kill a good four hours and is still waiting on that call from Sam. He has been constantly pacing the floor in the living room ever since he got back and can honestly say he's even starting to annoy himself.
Deciding that pacing a hole into the carpet isn't going to make Sam call any faster, he drops down onto the couch and grabs for the remote, turning the TV on. He idly flips through the channels, not caring too much about what he actually decides to watch, and stops when he notices a familiar cartoon. It's one he hasn't seen in years, nice since Sammy was younger.
"Thundercats, damn, bet Sammy would be bouncing in his seat right about now." Dean speaks to himself, smiling softly at the image of his overgrown brother bouncing like a five year old.
This had been Sam's favorite show when he was a kid, watched it almost religiously. There even came a point in time where Dean started to hate the cartoon because all they ever seemed to watch was that damn cartoon. Seeing it now is like journeying into the past and Dean welcomes it like he never has before. Closing his eyes he can almost see little Sammy Winchester, sitting on the bed in some random motel room in Bumfuck, USA, eyes glued to the television set. Ah, the good ol' days, Dean thinks with a smirk playing on his lips.
Opening his eyes once more, Dean takes out his cell phone from his pocket and flips it open, checking for any missed calls, just incase by chance his brother called without him realizing it. The proof lies harshly in front of him, though; telling him there are no missed calls. Once again he tells himself it's alright; that the day isn't over yet and Sam still has time to call him.
Dean frowns when he finds his mind conjuring up thoughts and memories he hasn't allowed himself to recall since the day Sam left for college. They are just simply too painful for him to dwell on and that's why he has avoided them like the plague. For some strange reason, however, he can't stop his mind from bringing them to the forefront.
A small, longing smile crawls upon his face as he remembers times spent in this exact same position, Sam at his side, head in his lap as they watch some show or movie. For the most part their attention would be taken away from the television, though, far more interesting things to explore and watch intently right there before their eyes.
Dean can't stop himself from recalling the many kisses they've stolen when their dad was out of town on a hunt, and, really, he doesn't even want to hold the memories back anymore. He can still remember the softness of Sam's lips, the unique taste of his mouth that only his brother can possess, the heart stuttering emotion Sam put into every kiss and caress. It's all there in vivid clarity.
He pushes the memories away almost violently when that familiar ache returns to his chest, an ache he has avoided for months. Sam ended their relationship when he left for college, wanting to be normal, and their relationship was definitely anything but. Dean had argued at first, telling Sam that he didn't know what he was saying and that he'd come to regret his decision one day. Sam was firm, though. He wanted Dean in his life, but not in that way. Dean can still remember what his brother had said that day, in a firm yet defeated voice.
"I want my brother back, Dean. I want that bond we used to have when we were younger, not this twisted relationship we have now."
Who was Dean to deny his brother that? Sure, it killed him to end the relationship, didn't want to give Sam up, but he realized that he had to let him go. He promised that things wouldn't change between them, they'd always be close and Dean would look out for his younger brother; protect him with his very life. And though it had killed him to say those words, seeing that smile of pure joy light up his brother's face had made it worth it in the end.
There are times when he misses Sam, misses what they had like he would a limb, but he doesn't regret giving Sam what he needed. Besides, it's not all that bad. He still has Sam in his life, still has his brother, and, really, he couldn't ask for more than that. It would have killed him to have lost his brother altogether, so he really has no room to complain, because things could be a lot worse.
Dean stares down at his phone once more, longing and hope etched on his features, and then glances at his watch with a groan. "Come on Sam, call already!" He expresses his frustration for the first time today before slouching into the couch and turning his attention to the television, which has changed to a different cartoon. He watches it with only half of his attention, holding onto hope that Sam will call soon enough.
The whole house has grown dark now, bathed only in the light of the full moon. It seems as though the day has flown by, yet, at the same time, the hours have drug on endlessly. Funny how it can be like that sometimes, especially when you're looking forward to something and all you can do is focus on that one particular thing all day long.
Dean is sitting on his bed, staring at his cell phone that lays in front of him, by the time the hands on his watch hit midnight. With a heavy, weight of the world sigh, he finally acknowledges the fact that his brother isn't going to call. He tries to pretend he doesn't feel majorly let down, isn't disappointed and silently wondering why his brother couldn't find the time to call him on today of all days.
He's probably busy with all that studying, or maybe he's at one of those infamous college parties, having so much fun that he's lost track of time, Dean tries to make excuses for his baby brother.
Even though he's hurting deeply inside, he finally tells himself that Sammy probably just forgot about him. It's not a big deal, he tells himself a wry smile on his lips. After all, it's only Dean's birthday.