Disclaimer: C.S.Lewis is the creator of Chronicles of Narnia. I simply decided to twist this fantastic world by adding some of my characters in order to create my own plot. Therefore, aside from my characters and the plot, I own nothing. The idea for this one-shot actually came after I listened (way too many times) to The Battle, which is an instrumental that belongs to the movie Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe created by Harry Gregson-Williams.
Title: Dream of a Dream
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance, Family, Friendship
Important Warning: I have yet to watch Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. I have to wait until July to finally be able to see the movie, so this one-shot was written having in mind all of the fics I have read so far about CaspianxSusan pairing. However, this is based in the second movie, not the books. I have just begun reading the books, and so far I have to admit that Susan appears to be completely different in the movies. However, I am open to suggestions, so if you have anything to point out, please do.
Summary: He was the reason why she decided to forget everything. SusanxCaspian
Also, English is my second language, and I do not have a beta-reader, so please, excuse the mistakes you are going to find in here. I did my best to spot them, but I never manage to correct all of them.
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable." C.S.Lewis
Dream of a Dream
It did not matter how time continued to roll by, the truth was that the scenery in front of her constantly awe her. Her sister's glistening sea gently rolled over the white sand, its sweet fragrance gracing the castle while its voice constantly sang a lullaby, which was always welcomed at night.
Her younger brother's wood was there as well, also singing a gentle song for everybody who paid attention to it. The voices of the leaves always echoed through the place every time the wind blew by, and danced with them. Her older brother's pure sky was the limit of their realm, usually clear and bright allowing them to see the stars twinkling in the night.
And then there was her radiant sun, which was now rising at the horizon, offering colours to the sky, and presenting light and warmth to the shivering earth.
As she felt the corner of her lips curling up into a content smile, Susan Pevensie rested her elbows on the balcony's railing, and continued drinking in the exquisiteness of the panorama in front of her. Even though the sun had yet to fully leave the depths of the ocean, her siblings were no longer in the castle.
Peter and Edmund had left as soon as the first sunrays had announced the dawn, explaining that they were eager to go training as much as they were excited to go ride during the morning. Lucy, still half asleep, had announced that she was going on a walk with Mr. Tumnus, who had expressed that he was "pleased to acquiesce with her request".
And so, quickly after breakfast, her three siblings had left the castle, but not before promising they would return for lunch. As for Susan, she had simply returned to her room after eating, and got lost in the world of literature. However, after finishing her book, Susan had been forced to note the silence that now ruled Cair Paravel, and that had been the reason why she had put her book aside, and made her way towards the balcony.
And now, as she felt the wind playing with her hair, Susan could not help but think that perhaps it was a good idea for her to go for a walk. It did seem that the day was going to be lovely, and despite of everything Susan could not help but think that she could not waste such an attractive weather.
But to go unaccompanied seemed so lonely…
"Queen Susan…" a strong voice whispered suddenly, and for some reason Susan felt a chill run down her spine as she straightened her back, her ears now sharp. "Queen Susan…"
Had the wind finally found a voice to utter? No, it could not be, even in Narnia that thought was absolutely illogical. Yet, Susan knew that someone was calling out for her…it seemed as if that voice was extremely close and yet so far…
For some reason, Susan found herself closing her eyes, a strangle tingle now conquering her skin. What she was doing was absolutely insane; someone was calling out her name, and yet for some unknown reason, she was slowly giving herself to those two words. It was almost as if that hushed voice had a power over her…a power that was delightful and not terrifying…
Unhurriedly, Susan allowed her eyelids to flutter open, and she carefully swirled around, and even though she did not know why, a gasp abandoned her lips. In front of her stood what could only be described as a prince charming, with dark locks covering his neck, and an extremely attractive and tanned physic. But what attracted her the most was the pair of penetrating yet warm orbs that were staring right at her.
And then one single word echoed through the empty halls of Cair Paravel in the form of her voice.
With a start, Susan Pevensie sat up on her bed, her chest moving rapidly for her breaths were coming out uneven and rather agonizingly. As her whole body shook, Susan rested a hand against her chest, and closed her eyes before taking various deep breaths, in a failed attempt to calm herself down.
Tears were already prickling her eyes, and before Susan knew it, something rolled down her face. Instinctively, Susan reached out for her cheek, and quickly wiped the fallen tear with a shaking finger. She did not comprehend why she was crying; all she knew was that she had to stop before it was too late…
Susan's heart skipped a painful beat at the voice, and she quickly raised her eyes to stare at the closed door of her room. She tried to part her lips to speak, but it seemed as if all strength had abandoned her trembling form, so Susan simply leaned her head against the headboard of her bed.
Hopefully her sister would take the silence as an indication that she was sleeping.
"Susan, may I come in?"
A small groan escaped Susan's throat for she had yet to gather strength to speak up. She honestly did not understand how a dream had the capability of taking all of her vigour away, but she was too exhausted to even think about that. Instead, she allowed her sister to take the groan as a signal that she could come inside.
Gently and noiselessly, Lucy Pevensie pushed the door of the room forward, and hurriedly walked inside, her feet making no noise against the wooden floor. Still without speaking, Lucy closed the door behind her so that the only light that resided inside of Susan's bedroom was the one coming from the streets.
"Susan, are you awake?"
"Did something happen?" Susan asked back, too tired to try to come up with something else to say, but Lucy did not answer for a long time. Instead, the youngest sibling of the Pevensie family approached the bed, and carefully sat down on the mattress close to Susan's feet.
"I was just heading to my room, and I heard you mumble something…" Lucy started with a hesitant tone, "I didn't know if you were having a nightmare or something, but then I heard…well, you yelled something, and I….I thought I should come in."
"I…yelled something?" Susan questioned as she stared at her sister's form, now enlightened by the lights coming from the streets and the moonlight, but Lucy decided not to utter a word again. "Oh, I'm sorry Lu, I was…having a nightmare."
"Susan, I heard you yell Caspian's name." Lucy finally decided to confess, and even though she had been expecting for her sister to say those words, Susan had never expected to feel what suddenly run through her whole body.
There was sadness…there was rage…there was love…there was loneliness….
And then there were the tears burning her eyes again.
"Caspian?" Susan managed to utter, mentally thanking for the fact her voice had not cracked. "I do not know any Caspian, Lucy, you must have imagined it."
"Susan, you know very well that Caspian i—"
"Like I said, you must have imagined it." Susan cut her sister off, her voice still controlled and soft, "I do not know any Caspian, and therefore I have no reason to dream about someone with that name. I'm sorry for worrying you, but I'm fine."
"Susan, please, you can't mean that." Lucy started, anxiety growing in her voice, but Susan was far more interested in trying to hold back her tears to hear her sister's words. "You have been saying all that silliness ever since we returned from Narnia, but I know you don't mean it."
"Narnia?" Susan repeated as she raised an eyebrow slightly, and a small laugh abandoned her lips, "Honestly Lucy, you're old enough to know that you ought to stop playing those kind of games. Narnia never existed, it was just something we made up because we were bored and young."
"And now you ought to go to bed." Susan proceeded, not giving her sister any chance to speak up, "I apologized for worrying you, but as you can see nothing's wrong. We need to get up early in the morning, so please, Lucy, go to bed."
"I don't know what's happening to you, but I certainly don't like it." Lucy declared as she stood up from the bed, and this time she made a rather loud sound since she had practically jumped off the mattress. "And neither do Peter and Edmund; we're all worried about you! How can you say that Narnia doesn't exist when you were there? What about Aslan? What about Caspian?"
"Lucy, that's enough!" Susan exclaimed in a strong tone, and despite of everything, Lucy closed her mouth, and looked away, behaving as if she was being scolded. "Narnia was just a game we came up with, and both Aslan and Caspian were just fruits of our imagination. Stop being so childish!"
"You're the one who's being childish!" Lucy pointed out, her voice rising a little bit as tears started blurring her vision. "You're the one who has changed ever since we left Narnia, two months ago. You're the one…you're the one who's being immature!"
"What on earth is going on in here?" a voice asked suddenly, and it was then that both sisters noticed that during their discussion Peter had opened the door of the bedroom, "Why are you two shouting at this hour?"
"Indeed, some people are trying to sleep you know?" Edmund growled, showing his bad mood, though he did look rather sleepy.
"Peter! Edmund, please, help me!" Lucy begged as she rushed to her brothers, who gave her a confused look before glancing at Susan, who was still sitting on her bed, "Susan is saying that she doesn't remember Caspian! She says we invented Narnia and Aslan as well!"
At those words, both Peter and Edmund shared a look before glancing at Susan again, who was now staring at the window next to her. Ever since they had returned from Narnia that Susan had decided to behave as if nothing had ever happened or that it even existed. In fact, three days after their return to England, Susan had started behaving a lot out of character by showing a sudden interest in make-up, dresses, parties and gossip.
And truth to be told, none of the other Pevensie siblings knew what to do.
Peter had tried, many times, talk to Susan about everything they had managed to achieve in Narnia. Their topics were usually about Cair Paravel, and about the parties and meetings they used to have there. Edmund, who had also had his share of conversations with his older sister, had tried to mention their hunts and games, and he had even tried to mention the White Witch once, but it had all proven to be ineffective.
In fact, only Lucy had had the courage to speak about both Aslan and Caspian, showing that she had not been called Queen Lucy, the Valiant for nothing. However, Susan had always reacted the same way; she would call them childish, and tell them that they needed to grow up, and abandon the dream that they had all dreamt, and that it was Narnia.
"Oh there you go again, Lucy, I've told you already, you must have imagined it!" Susan spoke up, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had conquered her room, "I do not know any Caspian, and you must to stop speaking about Narnia and Aslan. People will eventually start thinking you've grown insane! And the same goes for the two of you!"
"What happened to you?" Lucy finally whispered, her voice quivering a little bit as she stared at her older sister, now standing in front of Peter and Edmund. "Don't you remember when Aslan introduced us as Kings and Queens of Narnia? I'm Queen Lucy, the Valiant. Ed is King Edmund, the Just. Peter is High King Peter, the Magnificent. And you…you're Queen Susan, the Gentle. Don't you remember that?"
"Honestly Lucy, have you ever heard of a kingdom that has two Kings and two Queens?" Susan asked as she threw the blankets off her, and stood up from her bed. "We invented that so that we could all be monarchs! But in reality that's impossible!"
"What about Caspian?" Peter finally asked, in his calm tone, but Susan did not say anything. Instead, she crossed her arms against her chest, and stared at her three siblings, "Have you forgotten how we helped him?"
"Not to mention the kiss," Edmund mumbled as he made a face, but Susan did not look affected by their words. "You practically threw yourself to his arms. It was absolutely ghastly to watch, but it made you happy."
"Why can't you be the Gentle again?" Lucy mumbled, and Susan was about to retort when she saw the tear that suddenly rolled down her sister's cheek. "Why…Why don't you believe in Narnia anymore?"
"Does it have anything to do with what Aslan told us?" Peter questioned unexpectedly, and everyone turned their heads to him, "I'm certainly you're doing all this because of that. He told us we couldn't return, and you're angry because of it."
"Of course I'm not angry because of a dream," Susan retorted as she threw her arms in the air, "Why are you doing all this? Peter, you should be ashamed of yourself; you're the oldest! You should be giving the example!"
"And you shouldn't be this egocentric!" Edmund suddenly yelled, surprising everyone, and Susan widened her eyes at his statement. Before someone could stop him, Edmund walked to his older sister, and pointed a finger at her, "I know why you're doing this, and it's all because of selfishness!"
"Excuse me?" Susan asked as she stared at her brother, completely taken back by his out-burst, and both Lucy and Peter exchanged a glance. "I'm selfish? In what way am I being selfish? Because I grew up while you're still behaving like little kids?"
"No! It's because you hate what Aslan did to you!" Edmund exclaimed, still pointing his finger at his sister, "You hate it that Aslan told you that you cannot return to Narnia when you had just began to fall for Caspian! You hate Narnia because it took the thing you liked the most away from you!"
"Ed—" Peter started, but his brother ignored him for he continued to stare at Susan with a mix of anger and despair. Susan, on the other hand, just stood still, her eyes locked with her brother's dark orbs.
"You're trying so hard to stop thinking about him, that you decided it would be easier to forget everything!" Edmund continued still in the same tone, "You're being selfish because you decided to forget about Narnia, Aslan and Caspian, and can't accept that we have no wish to do the same! But since you can't admit that you're alone in all this, you decided that by calling us kids and childish you'd make us change our minds!"
"Is that true?" Lucy questioned in a small voice, and Peter rested a hand on his youngest sister's shoulder, "You're…trying to forget about Narnia because…you've fallen in love with Caspian even though you can't be with him?"
"Stop it, all of you!" Susan shouted as she covered her ears with her hands, her eyes closing shut for a moment, "I don't want to hear anymore lies! I don't want to listen to any other word about this magical land and…and Caspian! Let me be! Go to bed, and leave me alone!"
"Just go!" Susan screamed, but her siblings stayed where they were when tears started streaming down her cheeks. Unable to keep standing, Susan fell on her knees, and covered her face with her hands, "Please, just leave me alone!"
"Susan…" Peter started, but he trailed off when Susan started sobbing from the floor. When he noticed that Lucy was about to run to their sister's side, he grabbed her by the arm. Silently, he stared at Edmund, who was standing closer to Susan, looking as if he was not sure about what he was supposed to do, and Peter cleared his throat.
Moments later, the door that led to Susan's bedroom was closed, leaving the crying girl all alone. In the hall, Peter, Edmund and Lucy stared at each others as they continued to listen to Susan weeping inside her room.
They all wanted to help their sister; that was clear even though none of them had uttered a word. However, it was also true that they simply did not know what to do. Aslan's words were all they could think of; Peter and Susan were never to return to Narnia for they had grown too old.
"I'm sorry Lu, but I don't know what we can do." Peter interrupted his sister as he stared at the floor before gazing at his youngest siblings, "Aslan was being serious when he said Susan and I were never to return."
"So what should we do?" Edmund asked, irritation clear in his voice, "Let her burry herself in hobbies and little luxuries just because she doesn't want to face the fact that she and Caspian will never be together again?"
"Of course not, but…" Peter sighed as he focused his attention on his brother, "I don't think we can ever go against what Aslan has declared. I think that all we can do is…wait and hope that Susan realises that what she's doing is wrong."
"But Peter, she's…she's not our Susan anymore." Lucy lamented, and for a moment nothing was said. Then, Peter knelt on the floor, facing his little sister, and rested a hand on her shoulder.
"I guess we have to hope, Lu, that's the only thing we can do." he whispered, and Lucy sniffled as tears started prickling her eyes again. "Hope, and be here whenever Susan needs us. We sure need to be valiant as you are."
"But you know," Edmund started, now in a low tone, and both Peter and Susan turned to him, "I wonder if Caspian is going through the same thing as Susan is."
In front of him stood the four statues of the Kings and Queens of old, representing Narnia's Golden Age. They had been made a long time ago, and they were perfect replicas of High King Peter, King Edmund, Queen Susan, and Queen Lucy, and they were located right in the middle of a glorious garden, filled with all type of plant life.
A sweet and moderate fragrance was hovering through the air, and the silence was the perfect harmony for that place. That was also his favourite place whenever he needed to meditate or reminisce about old memories.
And it was also there that he would think about the choice he should have done many time ago…
Without taking his eyes off the four statues in front of him, Caspian the Tenth sat down on a stoned bench, and continued to contemplate the Kings and Queens of old. Then, before he knew it, his eyes focused on one of the Queens, and for a moment he could swear he felt something warm pressing against his lips.
Unconsciously, Caspian raised two fingers, and touched his lower lip, his eyes locked with the statue of Queen Susan, the Gentle. Many were the times when he would wonder how things would be if he had behaved differently when he had watched the monarchs of the Golden Age walking out of his life.
And Caspian had to admit he thought a little too much about how his life would be if Queen Susan had been given the chance to stay in Narnia, with him. However, that chance had never been given to them, and Caspian knew he had to eventually give up that thought.
But still it was too painful to even think about having to let all of his memories go, and watch them fading away with the wind almost as if they had never existed. In fact, that thought was almost insupportable…
With a small groan, Caspian covered his face with his hands after resting his elbows on his legs. Heavens, why had Aslan allowed him to meet Susan, when they were never to be together? Why did he have to go through that torture?
At his name, the young King raised his head, and his breath was caught on his throat. Long dark brown streaks were blowing in the wind, a pair of rose lips sealed shut, almost as if they were begging to be caressed, and then there were the pair of blue eyes that taunted his nights. Those warm and enchanting blue orbs that Caspian constantly wished to stare into again…
However, it was then that eyelids covered those same blue eyes that Caspian had been admiring, but when they opened up again, Caspian felt his limbs freezing. Those orbs were no longer warm, enchanting and blue; instead, they were dark, sparkling, and hazel shaded.
"Caspian, are you alright?"
"Eilidh," Caspian acknowledged with a short nod, and he looked away as the young woman walked towards him, and elegantly sat down next to him. "May I help you?"
"Oh, I was just walking through the garden when I spotted you here." Eilidh started in a calm tone, before turning her head to Caspian, who was now staring at the four statues in front of them, "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"No, not at all," Caspian answered though mind-absently, and the young woman next to him rested her hands on her lap. "I was just…reminiscing about the past. It's nothing…too important…"
A pregnant silence suddenly fell upon them, only to be occasionally interrupted by the melody of a bird. Clouds were leisurely crossing the vibrant blue sky, offering shades to the warm earth and to those who were working outside.
"I wish I had met her," Eilidh finally admitted, and Caspian glanced at her in confusion only to notice that she was staring at the four statues as well, "I've hear many stories about the Kings and Queens of Narnia, and every time I think about it, I just wish I had had the possibility of meeting them. However, if you allow me to say so, I wish I could have met Queen Susan, the Gentle above everyone else."
"Queen Susan?" Caspian repeated, and Eilidh gazed at him before nodding, and her eyes quickly settled on the statue of the said Queen again, "May I inquire why?"
"Accordingly to everything that I've heard about her," Eilidh started, and the corner of her lips curled upwards, in a small smile, "Queen Susan offered a whole new meaning to the word 'gentle'. I heard that Queen Susan was known for showing a kindly nature, and for being both soft and mild. Some often tell me that Queen Susan knew when to be stern, but that even on those moments she kept the characteristic proper of the nobility that it was her placidness."
Quietly, Eilidh turned to Caspian, the smile never leaving her face.
"I was also told that Queen Susan was known for her graciousness and for having an honourable manner." she continued before gazing at Susan's statue again, "They say that it was in parties and in meetings where you could see the real essence of Queen Susan, the Gentle."
Then, Eilidh gazed at the silent King, who was also staring at Susan's statue.
"And then there is the story that King Caspian the Tenth fell in love with Queen Susan, the Gentle." she added, her voice coming out soft and tender, and Caspian suddenly turned his head to look at her, "And I'd like to ask, if it's not too improper from my part, if that's true."
"Fell in love?" Caspian repeated, and Eilidh nodded, which caused the King to stay silent for a moment. "We were together for one month; I do not find it possible for two people to fall in love in such short period of time."
"Oh, but I beg to differ," Eilidh disagreed with a small shake of her head, dark locks of hair caressing her cheeks, and Caspian gazed at her, "The matters of the heart…who is capable of understanding them? Even if you say you did not fell for Queen Susan, you were obviously taken back by her spirit…were you not?"
"I'm sorry for touching such a fragile subject," the young woman continued before gazing down at her hands as the wind started combing her and Caspian's hairs, "I just wish I could understand you better. I mean, if I'm to be your wife…"
"I just wish I could be honest with you," Caspian started when Eilidh trailed off, and he clasped his hands together as his elbows continued resting on his knees, "But not even I understand the magnitude of what's inside of me."
Caspian watched as Eilidh smiled at those words, though it now appeared to be a bitter and sad smile. He regretted his words almost immediately, but when Caspian was about to speak again, Eilidh stood up from the bench. Silently, the young woman walked towards the four statues, her eyes locked with Susan's replica.
"I always thought that it was foolish to fight against a memory," Eilidh started still staring at the statue, but she glanced over her shoulder when she felt a presence behind her, "But now I realise that what I'm fighting against is not a memory, but something far more powerful."
"If you wish, we may terminate the engagement." the young woman proceeded, ignoring the way Caspian had just uttered her name, "I…You once told me we never know what Aslan may be thinking, and that is why…if you want…I can wait…"
"I could never ask such a thing." Caspian started, and Eilidh slowly turned to him, their eyes meeting, "I do not understand why the great Lion did this, but I believe that it's our duty to accept his decisions."
"But you must think about all this," Eilidh started still in a calm tone, "Please, answer this; what would you do if Queen Susan suddenly appeared here, in this garden? Would you not forget about everything, and go to her?"
"That is not fair; I cannot live my life based on hopes and wishes." Caspian interjected in a strong tone. "I prefer to believe that Aslan knows what he's doing. I prefer to hope that he knows what is for the best, and perhaps right now it is better for Queen Susan and I to be apart."
"But imagine she returns, and we're already married." Eilidh started, and Caspian glanced at Susan's statue before gazing at the girl in front of him again, "Tell me Caspian, what would you do then?"
"What you're doing is unfair." Caspian started, "You're making me chose between something that must be done, and something I wish I had had the chance to experiment. And you and I both know what my duty is."
"But that's exactly what I'm trying to say, my King," Eilidh pointed out, causing Caspian to blink in confusion, "If we were ever to be married, I want it to be because you want to do it, and not because it's your duty. After all, I'm sure there are many nobles after you."
"And yet it was you who I chose." Caspian quickly added, and Eilidh looked down, "Why must you torture me about the past?"
"Because the past will never be the past if you keep thinking about it." Eilidh whispered, "The freedom to move forward to new opportunities and to produce results comes from living in the present not the past, someone once said."
"Then what would you have me do?" Caspian questioned, "Shall I forget about my kingdom just because of something that will never be truly mine? Shall I forget my subjects just because I believe I almost fell in love for something that now is nothing but a memory?"
"No, no…" Eilidh answered as she shook her head, and before they knew what was going on, she cupped Caspian's cheeks with both her hands, "I want you to think about what you truly want. I'm sure that if you speak to Aslan, he'll understand, and perhaps even do something about all this."
"I cannot live my life nor can I rule my kingdom based on possibilities." Caspian started before resting his hands on top of Eilidh's, "And I'm sure that if Queen Susan was ever to show up in this garden, then Aslan would know what to do."
"Is that what you expect of me then?" Eilidh questioned, slowly dropping her hands from Caspian's grip until her arms were resting on her sides, "That I shall stay by your side until Queen Susan, the Gentle returns to Narnia, so that you two can live what you never had the chance to experiment before? Shall I live by your side, always fearing the day when Queen Susan returns, and steals you away?"
"I know that is very selfish of my part," Caspian started, and Eilidh looked away when he tried to stare at her in the eyes, "and that is why I cannot ask you to stay with me if you're aware of the turmoil that haunts me every night."
"Shall we both be selfish then?" Eilidh questioned suddenly, surprising Caspian, and a small smile graced her pale features, "You consider yourself selfish because you're asking me to stay with you, even though you love another. And I…" there was a small pause, during which the two young adults just stared at one another, "I want to be selfish as well, because even though I know you'll almost certainly never feel for me what you feel for Queen Susan, I want to be with you, and try to offer you a little bit of happiness, if possible."
"So I guess that means we'll both wait for Queen Susan's return." Eilidh continued, and for a moment Caspian could swear that it looked as if she was doing her best not to burst in tears in front of him, "Until that day, I'll do my best to offer King Caspian the Tenth all happiness, and I vow to love him until my dying day."
"Please, excuse me…" Eilidh whispered suddenly before bowing deeply in respect, and before Caspian could stop her, she twirled around, and started walking away. It was only when Eilidh disappeared behind a tree, however, that Caspian gazed at the statues next to him, and rested his eyes upon Susan's statue.
Then, as a sigh left his lips, Caspian turned around on his heels, and made his way towards his room. Once there, he closed the door soundlessly behind him, and walked towards the window before pushing the curtains aside, allowing for the radiance of the sun to conquer his room, and then he stared at his own reflection.
As she struggled to stop her tears, Susan stood up from the floor, and weakly made her way towards the window. Darkness still ruled the world for the sun had yet to rise from the horizon, and with a sob Susan gazed at her own reflection on the window. She was an absolutely mess, but she did not have the strength to care.
She knew that what her siblings had told her was true; she was being selfish because all she wanted was to forget about Narnia, Aslan, and Caspian. She was being egotistical because despite of everything she could not help but wish that her siblings could also forget about Narnia, so that they would never reminisce about it again.
But could they really blame her? It was true, they had only spent on month in Narnia, but that had been enough for her to feel something that she had never felt before. And it was all because of Caspian.
As fresh tears threatened to roll down from her eyes, Susan rested her right hand on the cool glass of the window, and took a deep breath at same time she closed her eyes. It was because of the pain she was feeling right now that she knew she had to forget about Narnia. It did not matter if her siblings thought she was being selfish and childish, she had to forget all about it because it was just too agonizing.
She had to forget about Narnia because of him.
Quietly, Caspian stared at the sky, and watched as the sun slowly descended from its throne on top of heavens. He knew that Eilidh was right; he would most likely forget all about his royal status and his kingdom if Susan was ever to show up in Narnia again even though he had yet to understand why exactly.
"I wish we could have had more time together."
"We never would have worked, anyway."
"Well, I am 1300 years older than you."
A groan escaped from Caspian's lips when his mind suddenly recalled the moment when Susan had walked to him, and kissed him. Before he knew it, his forehead was resting against the window, his eyes closed shut.
"Then what would you have me do? Shall I forget about my kingdom just because of something that will never be truly mine? Shall I forget my subjects just because I believe I almost fell in love for something that now is nothing but a memory?"
At those words, Caspian rested his right hand on the window, and took a deep breath. For Eilidh's sake, and even for his own sake, he had to fight against this turmoil and win. He knew that it was practically impossible for Susan to return to Narnia, and that was why he had to ignore and eventually forget the aching that would grown in his heart every time he recalled the Queen that had been named Gentle.
With a deep breath, Susan forced herself to calm down, and she mentally told herself that forgetting was the best and most logical thing she could do. Aslan had told her that she was never to return to Narnia, so the sooner she forgot about it the better.
And to be honest, she could hardly wait for the day when she would wake up, and believe that Narnia, Caspian and Aslan were nothing but a dream of a dream.
Slowly, Susan opened her eyes again, and stared at her reflection only to gasp in horror and surprise at what she saw. Looking back at her were not her own eyes, but a pair of warm brown orbs. It was not her hand's reflection what she was touching, but a man's hand.
A man she ached to reach out for…
Almost as if the window had burnt her, Susan yanked her hand off the glass, and stepped backwards until she hit her bed, and consequently fell on the mattress. Her eyes, widened as plates, were still locked with the window, although now all she could see were the shadows of the night.
"Aslan, please, have mercy…" Susan whispered as she closed her eyes, and without opening them, she crawled to her bed, and covered herself entirely with her sheets.
She had to forget all about Narnia.
That was the only logical way for her to be free again.
All she hoped was that her plan would work for that was the only way for her to forget about him.
An uneven breathing was the only thing that could be heard from the King's bedroom. Caspian was now sitting on his bed, staring blankly at the window in front of him, his right hand raised in front of his chest, closed into a tight fist.
On the moment he had opened his eyes, he had seen an illusion.
When his eyelids had fluttered open, Caspian had found himself staring at a pair of enthralling orbs, as blue as the sky. He had seen her pale complexion, her full rose lips, and her hand had been resting on his!
Oh by Aslan, for how long did he have to endure that torture?
"King Caspian, may I enter?" a familiar voice echoed through the room, and Caspian took a deep breath before standing up from the bed.
With quick steps, the young King made his way towards the door of his bedroom, and opened it without saying a word. Outside, stood Professor Cornelius, holding two books against his chest, a peaceful expression on his face.
"My King, did something happen?" the Professor inquired as he took in the nervous way Caspian was standing, and how pale he was. "You look as if you've just seen a ghost. Shall I call a nurse?"
"No, there's no need." Caspian answered before gazing over his shoulder, at the window he had been staring at moments before, and he mentally sighed when he noticed that all he could see was the vibrant sky. "But I need to talk to you. Please, come in."
"In what may I help you?" Professor Cornelius inquired as he stepped inside, and Caspian glanced one last time at the window before gazing at the Professor, and clasp his hands behind his back.
"May you explain, once again, Aslan's mystifying ways of guiding us?" he inquired, and Professor Cornelius blinked at his question, "Please, tell me again, all those stories of old, when two Kings and two Queens ruled Narnia."
And then, as he gazed at the window one last time, Caspian added in his mind.
'And hopefully, one day, those stories of old will tell us what path we shall trade in order to meet again.'
Heavens, I never wrote such a long one-shot. I know, I know, Caspian and Susan do not end up together in this one, but to be honest I had this idea for a story. I guess I can say this is kind of like a prologue. I am not saying I'll be writing the said story right away; I'll probably wait until I watch the movie to write it down, but at least this way I'll know if you liked this idea or not.
So please, be kind, and if possible, let me know what you thought of this.
Thanks for reading!