A/N: Just a quick little (unfunny and disturbing) joke – I'm trying to get myself back into the habit of writing… NOTE: Written from Jack's perspective. Best read to the end (if you have the patience).
She looked beautiful. Her baby blue eyes and cute smile had been directed at him the whole evening. Jack had been returning her attention, casting all too conspicuous glances at her since he had entered the friendly town inn. She adjusted the right strap of her overall, casting yet another gaze at him. Their eyes met, and she blushed deeply, looking back into her drink. Jack took this as his cue to make a move, and slid off his seat and staggered in her direction.
"Hey babe" he slurred, obviously heavily intoxicated. She giggled and took a small sip from her wild grape juice.
"Sooo… Are you wearing astronaut's pants?" She looked at him questioningly.
"Because baby," he continued drunkenly "Your ass is out of this world." At this she squeaked bit, and choked slightly on her drink. She was blushing very deeply.
She spoke with an unusually deep but seductive voice.
"No seriously honey 'hic' you're hot." The girl looked up, directly into Jack's dizzy looking brown eyes. She grabbed his rough, farmers' hand softly with her own hand, which was oddly just as rough, if not rougher than his own.
"Um, Jack… I'm going upstairs now…"
A broad grin crept across the young man's face as he allowed himself to be lead upstairs to the young girl's room.
"Good morning, beautiful." Jack was suddenly awoken from his deep slumber by a familiar sounding voice. His head was pounding. He felt an arm slither around his naked waist.
"What's the matter? Is lover boy all tired after last night?" Jack heard a low, throaty chuckle from next to him.
Startled, he swiveled around in the bed sheets, and opened his eyes. He saw the blurred outline someone with soft, ginger hair sprawled and presumably nude in the sheets beside him. Jack sat up and groaned roughly, rubbing his eyes with both hands. He then turned to look at the person lying next to him.
Jack's muscles tightened as he sat, staring with an utterly terrified expression on his face at the spectacle that lay before him. He felt his gut wrench horribly as the figure smiled at him cheekily.
"Don't you remember last night?" The voice sounded distant to Jack.
"Now that you're awake… how about I refresh your memory?" Jack felt a large, sweaty foot begin to slowly caress his thigh. His body suddenly sprang into action. He leaped out of the bed screaming, and bolted stark naked down the Inn's staircase, leaving a puzzled and bedraggled looking Rick to muse over this reaction.
A/N: …I apologise to anyone who actually read this.