Okay this took a little bit longer than I expected. I hope everyone likes it. Oh and I took a line and character from the movie Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which is by the way a great movie, go see it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I don't feel like saying something cute, so that's it.
"Are we there yet?"
"Tony, I am not kidding. If you ask me that one more time I will stop on the side of the road and leave you. You've asked me that a hundred times since we've left and we only left forty minutes ago. You do the math, boy genius."
"I'm a man genius not a boy genius. I feel like I should close my eyes. You know, so that the whole thing can hit me at once. Is that what you did the first time?"
"I don't remember. Tony, stop fidgeting. You're making me nervous."
"Yeah I think I'm going to close my eyes."
Tony Stark closed his eyes tightly trying to envision the amusement park that was only a few minutes away. However, he found that all he can truly concentrate on is Pepper. Well, more specifically Pepper in those wonderful shorts. He was somewhat grateful that Pepper's skirt are normally knee length, any more leg than that and he would never get any work done. He peeked his eyes open slightly and took in the appearance of the woman beside him. And, hoo-boy, did she look good.
Her hair was pulled back into the messiest ponytail he had ever seen her wear (which meant that there were only a few hairs out of place). She was wearing a well-fitting T-shirt (that in and of itself was a revelation, he wouldn't have thought that his assistant owned anything but her business suits and blouses) and jean shorts (again amazing). When Tony had first seen her this morning he had thanked God for the California heat.
"Tony." His eyes shot open and he felt a warming sensation which he guessed was a blush (he didn't have a huge experience with blushing since he was never embarrassed about anything), he was, however, uncomfortable that he was caught fantasizing about his assistant. He glanced over at Pepper and noticed that she was eyeing him with a strange look on her face. "We're here." She stated simply as she made a broad gesture out the window.
Excitedly Tony leaned over to look out Pepper's window; he heard her gasp slightly as his chest brushed broadly against her shoulder. He caught just the slightest scent of perfume, something flowery that he couldn't name. He pushed his excitement at her warmth aside for a moment as he looked out the window and saw….nothing. His excited expression fell. There was nothing, just a big wooden wall. No big rides, no bright colors, and there were only a few meandering families. What the hell?
Tony sat back in his seat and gave Pepper a disappointed look. "What the hell, Pepper. Is this it? This sucks what a waste of…how much were the passes?"
"Three hundred and fifty dollars."
"Well, damn. I would have at least thought there would be flowers or something." He was brought out of his pouting by loud laughter. He turned to see his supposedly faithful assistant doubled over in hysterics, laughing at his disappointment. He gave her an annoyed look. Pepper held up her hand, trying to get a hold of her laughter. Tony had to smile a little at Pepper's unusual display, even if he was still exasperated.
"I'm-sorry -Tony." Pepper said between breaths. "It's just you sound just like my nephew." Tony made a gesture, telling her to continue. "Everyone expects the park to be this big thing right away. Don't worry, the parking lot doesn't look good but it's great when you get inside." She removed her seatbelt and said, "Come on. Let's go inside."
Slightly embarrassed, Tony muttered, "It's had better be good."
"This is more like it."
"I told you."
Tony was happily amazed by the sights that greeted him as he walked towards the entrance of Disneyland. The place was bright and full of the laughter of families and kids. The crowded atmosphere added to the magic of the park, everyone seemed happy. Tony was grinning like a fool and he looked like he was nine again. He was frozen at the entrance, not sure where to begin. Pepper made the decision and dragged him away from the flower arrangement of Mickey Mouse.
"Come on," Pepper said as she dragged her reluctant boss, "We have to check in with Customer Service."
Tony's head perked up and he gave Pepper an annoyed look, "Why?"
Pepper sighed and brushed her bangs out of her face. "Because, you don't want single women, adolescent boys, or members of the press attacking you while you are on Space Mountain, do you Mr. I tell everyone in the world I am a crime fighting superhero called Iron Man?"
It was Tony's turn to sigh and he conceded to his brilliant assistant. "So what is the park going to do for us?"
Pepper ignored him and continued on her trek until they were right outside the building that said 'Customer Service'. "The park," Pepper finally replied, "Has appointed us a guide of sorts. He will follow us around and if anything happens he will take care of it. You remember, I told you about him. My friend from high school, you know the g-."
Pepper only got that far before a voice behind them said, "Is that my favorite redhead?"
Pepper spun around and was pulled into a huge hug by a tall blonde man. Much to Tony's chagrin, she squealed with delight as the man spun her around. When the man finally put her down Tony was waiting impatiently for an introduction. Pepper, slightly breathless, said, "Tony, this is Harry. Remember that friend I told you about."
Tony racked his brain. Then he remembered, Gay Harry, Pepper's oldest friend from high school. Feeling more at ease, Tony took the man's hand in a vigorous shake, "Oh, yeah your Ga-, Harry. You know your…" He tapered off. Tony was a man normally comfortable in every situation, except when dealing with gay men. He had no idea what kind of etiquette there was. Do youu act really macho, do you act more feminine? Is that an insult? Do you just not talk about it?
Harry filled the void. "Gay Harry?"
Tony nodded, "Yeah, you still…gay?" He had no idea why he asked that.
Harry shook his head and said sarcastically, "Me. No, I screw women all the time. I just liked the name so much I can't get rid of it."
Tony laughed awkwardly while giving Pepper a pleading look, desperately wanting to get out of this situation. Pepper, however, seemed fascinated by the exchange.
Harry continued speaking although this time about business. "Okay, so I won't be right with you the entire time but I will be following close by. If anything goes on, just call me." He turned to Pepper. "You still have my number, right?" Pepper nodded and Harry continued on with his instructions. "Only rule, please if you watch one of the shows, don't go up on stage. That is attention you don't need. Other than that have a good time. Any questions?"
Tony lifted his head and shielded his eyes from the sun. "Yeah, when you say following close by, how close do you mean?"
Harry leaned in slightly and Tony took an unconscious step backwards. "I'll be close enough, Mr. Stark. Don't worry." He turned back to Pepper and said, "Have a great time you guys, I'll be around." He then disappeared into the crowd of people.
Tony watched the man depart and soon found that he couldn't find him in the crowd. "Well, that was weird."
Pepper smiled and said, "You know he probably can still hear you."
Tony then clapped his hands loud and rustled through his backpack, pulling out a worn baseball cap. He tugged it onto his head and said happily to his assistant, "Well, shall we begin?"
Pepper rolled her eyes and said, "Where do you want to start Mr. Stark?"
Tony's eyes glimmered with excitement. "Well, I've heard great things about some sort of teacup ride."
Pepper's eyes grew wide with panic. "No, I hate the teacup ride. I get sick every time I go on it. You cannot get me on that ride for all the money in the world."
Tony began pulling her along, in what looked suspiciously like the direction of the teacups. "That great, huh."
Pepper tried to side-track him. "Don't you want to see Tomorrowland? Space Mountain is there, you'd love it."
He paused only momentarily in his trek, before continuing in the same direction. "I will not be dissuaded Miss Potts. Come on you only have to watch me, I won't even make you ride."
She sighed, "But you'll look ridiculous all by yourself."
"Well then, it looks like you are in a bit of a dilemma, doesn't it." He let out a happy sigh as they reached the ride, packed with children and parents. "You can either let me suffer all alone in a teacup or you can brave the dangers of motion sickness."
Pepper crossed her arms. "I don't get motion sickness, it's just this ride."
"Either way, you had better decide soon. However, I think we both know that you can never say no to me." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Pepper raised hers doubtfully.
XXXXXX Ten minutes later XXXXXXX
"Hi, I'm Allison."
"Hi, I'm Tony. You don't get motion sickness do you?"
The small brown-haired girl, who got the good luck of sharing a teacup with Tony, shook her head. "No, I don't think so."
Tony spun around and pointed at the girl sitting next to him. "See, she's…" He turned to the girl and asked, "how old are you?"
Tony nodded. "She's nine and she's not afraid." Pepper, who was watching her boss from the railing, just smiled and made a motion for him to turn around.
Still pouting, he settled into the teacup and locked his buckle. "Is your mommy not riding with you?"
Tony looked startled, another group he was unused to conversing to—little kids. "Huh?"
"You're mommy." Tony shook his head, still not understanding. The little girl rolled her eyes and got on her knees to point to a couple only a few feet away from Pepper. She pointed to the man. "That's my daddy and that's his mommy." Then she pointed to Pepper. "You're mommy won't ride with you."
He finally understood. "Oh, you mean my wife." She nodded. "No, no; she's not my wife, she's my employee, my friend. Although, we are pretty close and if I was to get married she would be on the top of my list. You see, it's weird with my job and whatnot. Plus being a superhero makes relationships way more complicated." Tony snapped his mouth shut, his eyes widening, and peeked at the girl, hoping she didn't catch the last part.
The little girl wasn't paying attention anymore so Tony shut up. The bell rang and the teacups slowly began to move. Confused, Tony watched the little girl grab the saucer in the middle and pull at it. "What are you doing?"
"Come on," she strained to the pull the saucer and looked at him pleadingly, "you're supposed to spin it to make the ride move, jeez."
Catching on, Tony grabbed the saucer and began to spin it. Soon they were flying faster than all the other teacups. Racing through the air, Tony questioned what was more enjoyable: flying as Iron Man or this amazing teacup ride.
Four minutes later he decided that he would rather fall out of the sky as Iron Man than go back in the evil contraption known as the Mad Tea Party.
"Uhhhh, I feel like I am going to hurl."
Pepper patted his back. "I told you so."
"That was horrible. Never again."
"Come on," Pepper said soothingly, "there are tons of rides left. And they won't make you as sick."
"I promise." She pushed Tony along. "I promise that this day is going to go perfect. Nothing will go wrong."
XXXXXXXXXXXX Nine Hours Later XXXXXXXXXXXX
"Okay, I'd just like to say that this really wasn't my fault."
Pepper, Harry, and the three security guards all regarded him with disbelief. They all said nothing but Pepper did hand him a bag of ice for his cheek, which was starting to swell.
"Honestly, the guy just said, 'Hey aren't you Iron Man' and then out of nowhere people started tackling."
Pepper nodded, "Yeah and that man's outburst had nothing to do with the fact that you were yelling 'Get out of my way. I am Iron Man, and I want to see the Disney Parade up close.'" She raised her eyebrows and waited for him to respond.
He grinned sheepishly. "Well, we did get to stand right on the curb for a few minutes."
"Yeah," Pepper said with a little of her old humor, "but we also got trampled by a combination of crazy smitten twenty-year-olds and crazy, impressionable eight-year-old boys. So I do believe that the cons outweigh the pros in this case."
Tony decided against further provoking his assistant. Instead he turned to Gay Harry, who looked immeasurably more irritated but Tony knew that he had to deal with him for only an hour at tops, Miss Potts on the other hand would be with him for (hopefully) a lot longer than that. "Hey, buddy!" Harry took an unconscious step forward and Tony wondered if the man in front of him really had that short of a fuse. Well, maybe his fuse isn't too short, considering the well-developing shiner he was sporting, courtesy of one of Tony's many fans. However, the angry homosexual didn't frighten Tony in the least bit as he continued, "We are still going to see the fireworks show, right? It's supposed to be great and I did not shell out, what was it?" Tony turned to Pepper.
Pepper rubbed her eyes. "With or without your," she surreptitiously glanced behind Tony to the small mountain of purchases Tony made throughout the day and wondered what the hell he needed a Mickey Mouse backscratcher for. "purchases?"
Tony considered, "Without."
"Three hundred and fifty dollars, give or take."
Tony stood up quickly and tried to ignore the sore feeling in his legs. "Exactly, I didn't shell out three hundred and fifty dollars to not see some spectacular fireworks." Tony crossed his arms, just so everyone would know how serious he was.
Gay Harry walked over to Tony and patted him politely on the shoulder. "Hey, Mr. Stark, if you want to see some fireworks then you'll see some fireworks."
"Don't I get a phone call?"
"Well, considering that this isn't real jail. I don't think that the normal rules apply."
Tony looked around his cell and cringed at the large picture of Mickey Mouse saying that 'crack is whack'. "This is worse than mall jail."
Pepper shook her head. "At least Harry gave you a cell facing the fireworks." She gestured out the small window of the cell to where the LA sky was almost completely black and the lights from the park were dimming slightly.
"Yeah, it's the little things that keep me going in my time of hardship." Pepper looked highly amused, her humor returning at his 'incarceration'. "Hey can you see over there?"
"Not really." Pepper said, standing on tip-toes but apparently to no avail.
"One second." He put his arms between the plastic bars of the cell. "Hey, guard!"
Harry came slowly walking into the jail room, looking much more content even though he held an icepack to his right eye. "What?"
Tony gave him his best grin. "Think you could let the lady into the cell to see the show." He paused, "I mean the fireworks." Pepper rolled her eyes and marveled at his ability to keep his humor even in a jail cell.
"Now, why should I do that?" Harry looked like he was in a good mood and he seemed to only be teasing but even Pepper couldn't be certain.
"Because," Tony said in his most condescending tone, "I am Tony Stark." Both Pepper and Harry's grins just got wider so he continued, "And I always get what I want."
Pepper laughed. "Just do it Harry, I'm pretty sure I will be safe."
"Fine." Harry pulled out the keys from his back pocket and opened the door cell, gesturing for Pepper to enter. She glanced over the dirty jail cell before begrudgingly entering. It smelled surprisingly normal, mostly like a dirty Burger King. The cell door closed behind her with a loud bang. "If he gets frisky just call me."
Tony shot him a dirty look and cried, "Well, then you shouldn't go too far!" He then turned to his guest and made a sweeping gesture. "Welcome to my humble home."
"Well, Tony, is this how you imagined your first trip to Disneyland?"
"Well, the jail cell isn't a huge surprise but the day isn't finished yet." He grabbed her by the wrist and led her to the window. "Come on I don't want to miss it."
They were just in time, the music was reaching a crescendo in the distance, and cheers could be heard. Suddenly two huge bolts of red shot into the air, moments later sparks of red and white filled the sky. Louder cheers. Soon the entire park was lit up like a Christmas tree, the music playing loud and happy in the background.
Inside the small jail cell on the end of Main Street, Tony quietly took Pepper's hand into his own and looked over at her. Feeling his gaze, she turned to meet his eyes curiously. He gave a slight smile. "Thanks. I had a great day, jail and all. I haven't had this much fun…well in a really long time."
Pepper's eyes were bright, whether from his words or the bright lights and smoke, Tony didn't know. He'd like to think it was because of him. "I had a really good time too."
Feeling suddenly self-conscious, Pepper returned to watching the fireworks. Clearing her throat she said, "They are very pretty aren't they."
"Yeah, they are." Tony, however, was still watching his faithful assistant. He knew that he shouldn't do what he was about to do but he couldn't help himself. He leaned in slowly to Pepper and at the last
second she turned her head and he caught her lips in a chaste kiss. It was only a moment, barely a brush and he pulled away less than five seconds later.
Pepper was completely frozen, not sure what just happened. Tony Stark just kissed her. When she finally regained her bearings she smiled and asked, "What was that for?"
Tony didn't even look at her; he continued to watch the fireworks show. "Isn't it a tradition to kiss when there are fireworks?"
"I believe you are confusing fireworks with New Year's."
"Yeah, that one too."
There was a long silence, neither of them speaking, just listening to the soft music coming from the show. Then there was a quiet rustling.
"Mr. Stark, do I have to call Harry over here?"
"Can't blame a guy for trying Miss Potts."
Several more fireworks shot in the air before the sky darkened once again. Families happily packed up into their mini-vans and headed home or to their hotels. Teenage boys kissed their girlfriends goodnight as their parents came to pick up their adolescence. Small child cried, wanting to stay longer. And two blissful people watched the people leave the park from a dirty jail cell window. Tomorrow the woman will go to work to find a mountain of e-mails waiting for her and a the beginnings of a headache; and the man will return home to find that his jet thrusters are malfunctioning and he will have to go to eight, equally boring and useless, meetings. But for now they are content to hang their arms out the window of a Disney jail and forget all about reality.
Yeah so my friends and I were actually in Disney jail once. It isn't exactly like that but there are a lot of anti-drug posters with Mickey which always struck me as weird. Please R and R.