Once Again With Mook

DISCLAIMER: Any character that resembles any in JK Rowling's wonderful series is meant to! They belong to her. I do not lay any claim to them.

Note: A slight knowledge of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode 'Once Again With Feeling' may be necessary.

It was a normal day in Gryffindor Tower, and the Gryffindors were having an underwear party in honour of Fred and George's new line of exploding pants. Everyone was chatting noisily and admiring each other's garments, when Neville running into the tower in his pink Barbie briefs, nearly tripping over the entrance, shouted:

"Voldemort's attacking!!"(Fred then shot him for interrupting the party, but that's not important.)

Harry, at once, taking his eyes off Ginny's half-empty bra with spinning baubles on the nipples, said:

"Oh NO!...I HAVE WAITED FOR THIS DAY!' Turning to Ron he said, 'Ron, do I have my pants on?"

Ron replied: "No. You have nothing on."

"OK."

"Harry?"

"Yes?"

"Voldemort?"

"Right."

It took a minute for him to act. He turned to the staircase to the dormitories and waddled up. WADDLED LIKE A DUCK.



A few minutes later, he returned dressed in pink and purple spandex. Across the front sparkled a scar-shaped emblem. He sang:

"Ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, SCARMAN!"

"NICE OUTFIT,MA BROTHER!" Ron cried, making Harry realise for the first time that he was black, wishing he was the caped crusader's sidekick.

"I spent the last seven years making it...BY THE COVER OF NIGHT!"Harry said raising his eyebrows like a rogue in a gothic novel. At that moment a scar-shaped symbol flashed across the ceiling and around the room, highlighting Seamus Finegan's glow-in-the-dark jammy-jams. They were really Boxer-shorts, but that's what he called them. The light then cut out. Not because it was supposed to, but because it was just that crappy.

Harry emerged out of the common room to find Voldemort, dressed in a pink Prada cloak, with Snape beside him. Voldemort was admiring a painting and telling Snape (who was still in his Thomas the Tank Engine pyjamas) in a loud voice that it was early 19th Century.

On noticing Harry, he broke into song – "I'm just wild about killing Harry..." shooting a wide ring of fire around Harry , and Ron who had followed Harry out. (Hermione had died earlier that day in a knicker explosion. Who cares.)

At this, Ron also broke into song – "We will walk through the fire..." but then changed his tune when his Chudley Cannon boxer-shorts caught fire... "ahhhhhh!...And it burns!...I fell in to a burning ring of fire...AHHHHH!! IT BURNS!" Harry didn't notice Ron falling dead and burnt beside him but instead continued his tribute to Batman-HIS ONE TRUE HERO! He had discovered him one time when Mrs Figg 

has had a heart attack and fell into a coma beside him. He subsequently turned off Top Cat, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Voldemort drew away in fear at the terribleness of his singing...as did the fire. It lost all hope in life! Snape also lost hope in life, pulling a gun on himself...(who cares?)

Voldemort got tired of it so he began a new song and a new spell-crucio. Harry fell over in pain, ripping his spandex right up the front. He had put on two stone due to growth hormones since he last measured himself. The hormones were to build up the Quidditch-toned abs he was supposed to have. Little did he know that the only reason Ron and everyone else had them was due to either steroids, or in Ron's case, too much sex with Hermione.

"I put a spell on you, and now you're mine..."

Suddenly all the Deatheaters apparated in, in leopard print robes (as is the fashion with masculine overdosed villains) singing:

"mine, mine, so long!"

Voldemort's next lines were backed up by "Oohs" and "Ahhs" from the 'choir of Evilness', as Voldemort called it- "I put a spell on you, and it was..." But then he stopped, stamped his feet like a child refused sweets and crossed his arms across his skeleton-like pink Prada clad chest.

"Ok, I can't do this anymore. Wormtail, you are NOT a Soprano so stop pretending you are, you stupid Alto git!!" At this, he took the gun from Snape's lifeless body, (WHO CARES!) and shot him right in the chest.

"Now, where was I?' He said as chirpy as if he had been knitting, 'Ahh, yes...And it was strong, strong, strong!"



Voldemort was just about to break into another line and finish the job with Avada Kedavra, (like he did with I Will Survive and Dumbledore, only he didn't realise that he had bored Albus to sleep) when from the common room came the sound of "Gallery of my m-i-i-ind..." from Mook's song Statues.

"I looove this song!!" He squealed, blushing, forgetting about Harry and joining the party.

And so it was that Voldemort partied hard with the Gryffindors to his favourite band Mook, led by his one true love, Paul Dano.

(It finished up with Voldemort falling drunkenly out the window singing-"if I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Ronaldo! SHITTTTTT!!" cause his second favourite band was, obviously, ABBA, BUT WHO CARES!)

This story was written by RUN-BY-FRUITING and stared;

Harry Potter- a.k.a. Scarman

Ron Weasley- a.k.a. Fire Safety Neglecting Ronaldo

Ginny Weasley- a.k.a. Flat Chest Weasley

Neville Longbottom- a.k.a. The Shot Messenger

Lord Voldy-pants- a.k.a Paul Dano's NO.1 Fan / the villain

Wormtail- a.k.a. the ALTO who thought he was a SOPRANO

Snape- a.k.a. The Suicidal Thomas The Tank Fan

Seamus Finnegan- a.k.a. Bright Leprecaun

Music by: Mook, Hocus Pocus, Buffy,Batman.