Pairings: Cam/13, Chase and his beer, Foreman and his ego, Taub and his anonymous wife, Kutner and his fruitloops and TV, Cuddy and her low cut tops, and maybe a little Hilson.
The paper shook in her hands, wobbling as she tried to focus her vision on that one line. She read it over and over again, like an OCD patient, the words never changing, the bold scarlet ink mocking her.
The paper seemed surreal, as though after fighting with the possibility for so long she had made it seem improbable. The entire night was surreal; House in a coma, young terminal Amber lying on a hospital bed on dialysis, and now this, the paper that revealed what she had denied for so long.
After the initial shock wore away, her wide oceanic eyes resumed blinking normally. Her hand stopped shaking. Coming to grips with Amber's death had not prepared her to face her own. All she could think about mortality. How fragile life was, how people denied death by postponing realization of it until an age deemed appropriate to die, and how she could no longer do that.
I shouldn't have done it, she thought. But she didn't really think the test would come out positive. She wasn't being hopelessly optimistic, that was Kutner's job. She was just not prepared to cope. She broke down. Her face twisted in agony as she sobbed, her head pressed against the hard oak table. Her hand still clutched that damned paper, crumbling it into a small ball as she let it carelessly fall to the floor.
Now she knew. And there was no going back. Hadn't she once told House that if she knew she had Huntington's, there were certain things she wouldn't be able to do anymore?
Loving anyone but myself, even if I knew how, that's something I'll never experience, she thought. While Wilson and Amber sat in the same bed, his soul dying with hers, she knew she could never put herself through that, nor would it be fair to drag someone else through an
inevitably ill fated romance. In a way, she both envied and pitied Amber. They were in the same situation, only hers a bit more urgent, and she would die with someone she loved holding her. 13 broke down again.