Title: Broken in Half
Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean
Pairing/Characters: Will, Minor Jack/Elizabeth
Summary: Staring out upon the vast expanse of ocean Will tries to keep his tears inside where they belong but is finding this task, which has always been so simple for him, to be very difficult.
Disclaimer: Not mine, unfortunately pouts
Broken in Half
Staring out upon the vast expanse of ocean Will tries to keep his tears inside where they belong but is finding this task, which has always been so simple for him, to be very difficult. Thoughts keep running through his already fragile mind, making it impossible for him to pretend that he is alright. He has managed to keep everything to himself and doesn't want anyone to worry about him, much less pity him. He would much rather handle his emotions in private. Ever since he was a young boy he has been alone with his feelings and is uncomfortable with such displays of weakness. It has always been much easier for him to keep everything hidden inside and out of view of prying eyes.
Everyone has shown their concerns and worries, but he reassures them that he is fine and then sends them on their way. He knows the only reason they keep pestering him is because they care about him, but he really doesn't want to talk about certain events, so he says anything he knows of that will please them. Now, if they believe his lies is a different matter, but since they haven't confronted him on his dishonesty, he won't worry about being pressured into admitting the truth.
He had spoken to Elizabeth about the kiss while at Tia Dalma's hut and that conversation hadn't gone so well, even though she had said things he had expected to hear ever since he witnessed her betrayal. Hearing those words leave her lips, though, made it more realistic for him and he can no longer convince himself that there was an explanation for the kiss that wouldn't leave him broken hearted. Deep within his being, however, he knew that she was going to break his heart. This knowledge does nothing to ease the pain, though. If anything, it makes it harder to deal with, and now he is finding it almost impossible to keep his anguish inside. He doesn't want to break down in front of anyone, least of all Elizabeth, but he figures he will do just that if he doesn't get away from her and Jack as soon as possible.
Everybody is celebrating Jack's safe return, but Will is just not in the mood to join their celebration. He feels like his heart is shattered within his chest, and if he died right this moment he really doubts he could care. Besides, it isn't like he would be leaving anything behind. There is nothing left for him here, his whole life was Elizabeth and she no longer cares for him. She loves Jack and wants to live her life with him. Her heart belongs to the pirate now, and possibly always has. Will doesn't know what he is going to do without her but he knows his heart can't handle the sight of them together.
Watching as Elizabeth laughs joyfully, he can't help but smile slightly because, even though she doesn't love him anymore, at least she is happy. He figures that is all he can really ask for. He may be miserable but at least he knows she will be alright. Whatever becomes of him doesn't matter at this point, but he is sure that, given time to heal, he will be okay one day. His heart may be broken right now but he has hope that it will mend and he will find someone new to give his heart to; give it to someone who wants and will treasure it.
Will has to look away when Elizabeth pulls Jack into a passionate kiss, the sight making his heart break a little more with each movement of their lips. Silently, he slips below deck without anyone noticing and finds an area in the crew quarters where no one will bother him. This is where he allows his tears to fall freely, but tries to cry quietly just in case someone happens to stumble in.
It has been three days since the celebration and part of the few days have been hell for Will. No matter how hard he tries, he can't seem to escape Jack and Elizabeth. They are always together and seem to search him out every time he turns around. He knows they are just trying to include him, be his friend while at the same time get him used to the fact that they're together, but he can't handle it.
Thankfully, they have made port in Tortuga and now Will can get away once and for all. What no one knows is that he doesn't plan on leaving with them once they head back to the Pearl. He plans on either staying here in Tortuga, start a new life for himself, or finding a ship to take him to England. He can't go back to the Port Royal, and even if he could, there are too many unwanted memories there.
He watches from afar as the crew makes their way back to the Pearl, and part of him longs to go with them but a larger part is grateful to see them go. He frowns, however, when Elizabeth stops to look back at him and then slowly makes her way over to him.
"We're leaving, Will, aren't you coming?" She asks with that beautiful smile of hers.
Will smiles sadly in return and shakes his head. "No, I won't be accompanying you this time, Elizabeth."
Her expression turns to one of confusion. "Don't be silly, Will. What, do you plan on staying here?"
"No, I'm going to find a ship that will take me back to Port Royal." Will lies shamelessly, not wanting her to know where he will be living.
"We can take you to Port Royal, I'm sure Jack won't mind."
"I don't think that would be a good idea, Elizabeth. I'd rather not go aboard that ship again. You should go, though. Jack seems ready to leave."
They both look in Jack's direction to see him watching them. Suddenly he seems to understand what is going on and quickly begins heading their way. In this time Elizabeth turns to face Will again and there is a sad expression gracing her features.
"I had hoped for us to be friends, Will. I do not wish for you to vanish from my life." Elizabeth grabs his hand as she says this but he pulls his hand away.
"I love you, Elizabeth, and that is why I cannot be your friend." He replies sadly and regretfully because the last thing he wants to do is hurt her. "I wish I could be, but I just don't have the strength, I'm sorry."
Tears fill her eyes and he has to look away. "There was a time when I truly loved you, and I'm sorry for hurting you."
Before Will can stop himself, he pulls Elizabeth into his arms and embraces her tightly. She clings to him just as tightly and rests her head on his shoulder. He closes his eyes and allows himself to enjoy the feel of her in his arms; making sure to embed it in his memory because he knows this will be the last time he will hold her.
"I wish you well in life," Will whispers in her ear before pulling away. "Goodbye Elizabeth."
"Goodbye Will," she responds in a tear choked voice.
"Ye don't have ta leave whelp." Jack says once he reaches them. "Plenty a room on me Pearl."
"Thank you for the offer, Jack, but I'm going to have to decline. Take care of her, treat her well." Will motions to Elizabeth when he says this and Jack nods his head in understanding. "Take care of yourself, Jack. It has been a pleasure knowing you."
With this said Will turns and walks away. He glances back to see Elizabeth and Jack standing there, watching him, with morose expressions on their faces, but he just turns away and continues walking. Each step he takes seems to be more difficult than the last, and walking away from the only woman he has ever loved isn't exactly something he wants to be doing, but he has no choice in the matter.
He plans on finding a ship to take him to Port Royal but will only be staying long enough to pack up his things. Moving to Tortuga brings many possibilities for Will and he finds that a new life is what he craves. Though he still loves Elizabeth, this whole ordeal makes him question whether he truly wanted to be married. Of course he didn't want to be married to Elizabeth if she was in love with Jack, but he can't help wondering if he is ready for marriage quite yet. One day it would be nice to settle down and have a family, but right now he can't imagine being with anyone besides Elizabeth.
He will always have a place in his heart for the beautiful Elizabeth Swann, and though he doesn't want to, he knows he must accept that they aren't meant to be together. Despite the despair he is feeling in his heart, he forces himself to walk in the direction of what he hopes to be a better life. He doesn't even try to contain the tears that begin to flow down his cheeks as he silently says farewell to his beloved Elizabeth.
I guess it's time to run far, far away
Find comfort in pain
All pleasure's the same
It just keeps me from trouble
It's more than just words
It's just tears and rain
Tears and Rain - James Blunt