Sometimes she wishes he was her boyfriend. She closes her eyes and his fingers intertwine with hers, his look haunts her, he brushes her hair with his hands, makes her feel loved and she wonders if this is the end.
Then someone pokes her on her shoulder. And he's there.
"How's your day been so far?" He asks.
"Boring, had a lot of paperwork to do, then I spent some hours in the pit," She says, looking tired. He knows she's exhausted. She's been working all night.
He pulls a lollipop from his clean white coat and hands it to her. She grins and feels her soul coming out of her body, just spinning, orbiting around him. Marvellous eyes focusing on him.
"I thought you could use some sugar."
"I guess. Life is definitely not a candy cane. I feel lost sometimes," She says, smiling sadly.
"Why do you say that?"
"I don't wanna talk about it." She licks the lollipop.
He takes her hand.
"You know you can tell me anything you want." She shakes her head. "Come on! We're friends, remember?"
She looks at him and sees the promise in his blue eyes. The assurance that she can trust him, whatever it is she wants to confess to him.
"Okay," She takes a long pause. "Okay."
He starts laughing.
"It's just that I have something inside that I need to tell, but I don't know if it's a good idea. And I want to. I do. I really need to release myself from this burden," His eyes look inviting, so she tells herself to just get it out of her system. "Do you remember how I told you I was in love with somebody?"
She takes a deep breath, then she just lets the words come out of her mouth. Consequences be damned.
"It's you. I'm in love with you George."
It's lunch-time when she sees him again. This morning when he came to see how she was doing she almost felt like she had everything around her. She regrets how she poured her coffee onto his neat blue scrubs some hours ago. His abs when he took off his shirt took her breath away. Suddenly, she feels herself blush and in a desperate attempt of not being seen, she takes the newspaper and puts it just in front of her face, hoping he won't notice her.
He pats her shoulder and she realizes all her efforts to avoid him were done to no avail.
"Hi, George. I'm sorry. I mean, for what happened earlier. I really shouldn't be running across the hospital with an open coffee cup in my hand."
"It's okay, it's not like you spilt sulphuric acid on me. But can I give you a suggestion? Can the coffee be colder next time? I was this close to having second-degree burns."
She giggles a bit and wonders if there's a guy who is cuter than him.
"What?" George is stunned.
With a little dismay she realizes she said that out loud. She wishes she could shrink and walk away. Her face turns beet red.
"Sorry," She pauses, and before she can sew her mouth to remain silent, she blurts out. "I can't help it. I'm still in love with you George."
He whimpers at her confession. His look is a mixture of affection and embarrasment.
"I thought we had this conversation already," He claims, his tone careful, trying to find the right words as to not hurt her feelings. "Look, I like you, I really do, but it just wasn't meant to be. We had a lot of pressure, I had my own issues and you had yours and I think maybe, possibly, we could be together if life hadn't come along the way. It's a pity that we couldn't develop something more because I do think we were on the right path, but..., you know..., love just doesn't follow any rule. You understand?"
She nods and he gives her a kiss on the cheek and smiles and she nods again.
"So am I."
She raises her head and curses the day.
It's the third time. The third time she has to deal with him, the third time she sees him. She's just bored. Tired of being the jinx who always gets O'Malley as her intern. He takes the chart from the nurses station and walks towards her.
"I guess you're my intern."
"And you're my... you're my resident."
"Yeah," she sighs.
He swallows hard. The first two times were awkward. Weird, because they've already said everything to each other, because there's nothing left to discuss. At least that's what he thinks.
"So, what do you need me for?" He looks at her and a shiver runs across her body.
His eyes. His mouth. His whole being. That's the problem. She still likes him. Even though she knows there will never be anything between them anymore. She might give it a try. She might find the strength to say the words.
And it will only make her more miserable.
"Are you okay?" He asks.
She wakes up from her daydream and tries to keep her composture, to evade her thoughts, dissolve them. Blushes when she realizes she has been busted.
"Yeah, just perfect," She says, nodding.
He stares at her, knowing perfectly she's far from being fine. That she wants something and he just can't give it to her.
She starts walking towards the room 209 where their patient is waiting for them. He follows her.
Unexpectedly she feels the pressure and the anxiety so she stops and turns around. She wants to do it. Looks at George and his stunned face. He's pleading with his eyes to not make this more uncomfortable than it already is. But she can't help it. She needs to hear it one more time. She needs to be sure this is what he wants for them.
"Please, don't say it..."
And all of a sudden...
"...I'm in love with you George."
He comes home and finds her.
His mood lights up.
She is on the couch watching TV.
He sits down beside her and immediately she leans forward and rests her head in his chest. He puts his arms around her and holds her close.
She looks upwards, he tilts his head down and kisses her.
"How was your day?"
"In a word? Strange."
"Do you remember how you thought Callie still had feelings for me?"
"Well, you were right."
"I knew it!"
"And... Lexie and Olivia..."
"Oh my God! My boyfriend is a stud."
"Don't kid about this. This morning Lexie just told me he was in love with me. From out of nowhere. Then, at lunch, Olivia did the exact same thing. And then as a cherry on top of the cake, Callie said she wanted to give us a try. We really need to tell people we're together."
"What? What's wrong?"
"Should I be worried?"
"What?!" He can't believe what he's hearing.
"You heard me, George. They are three beautiful girls who are in love with you. The first is your new best friend and the other two are a big part of your past."
He rolls over so that she's beneath him, they lace their fingers together and he looks her in the eyes.
"You, you are the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. It's impossible, technically unimaginable that I would leave you. You're kind, and nice, smart, and hot, and I never thought I would be able to be with a girl like you. You are everything to me."
He places his lips on hers and the kiss is so deep that she feels it through her bones, all over her body.
"You are my best friend. My lover. And even though they are part of my past, you are all of my future."
He just says the words because it feels right. And because it's true and she's everything he ever wanted.
"I love you. I'm in love with you."
She smiles. And he does the same thing because she knows the why. The cause that makes him feel alive: