At the first available opportunity, the Doctor left Rose perusing the shops at a thirty-fifth century mall, while he ran over to the nearest bakery. One banana cream pie later--secreted within a coat pocket that was bigger on the inside--he met up with Rose and gallantly carried her purchases back to the TARDIS for her.

Later that night, or, when Rose decided it was finally time for bed, the Doctor locked himself in his room and prepared his great work. Removing the pie from its box, he set it aside on his workbench. Several cannibalized contraptions later, he replaced the pie, carefully balancing it on the face of the spring plate. Stifling his maniacal laughter, he armed the trigger mechanism as he closed the box lid. Producing a black marking pen from his jacket pocket with a dramatic flourish, he proceeded to inscribe his warning.

Rose awoke, eager to learn what the new day would bring as she explored the universe with her new, new Doctor. They'd been taking things fairly easy since their first real adventure on New Earth, and Rose was grateful. They both needed some time to get used to the new him. Although, after her little prank the other day--the way he had floundered around trying to silence the alarm, even the smell of that awful perfume was worth the reminder of her triumph. She felt like things were falling right back into place between them. She even felt like she might be closer to the Doctor now.

She wondered if she would have dared to pull something like that on her old Doctor. With a smile, she admitted that she would have--in a heartbeat. But things seemed to be even more open and casual between them now. She didn't have any clear memories from her return to Satellite Five, but she had a feeling that that particular life and death struggle might have helped put things in perspective for her Doctor. She'd gotten a lot more hugs recently, and he held her hand at the barest excuse. And, although it had been the evil Cassandra in the driver's seat, he sure hadn't rejected her kiss. He barely reacted at all, but he certainly hadn't complained.

Having washed and dressed, Rose made her way to the kitchen for some breakfast. As she walked by an open door, she heard the Doctor's "Morning, Rose!"

"Mornin'," she replied, stopping to see the Doctor engrossed in an overlarge volume of something-or-other from the library. "I was just goin' to get breakfast, ya want anythin'?"

"No, no," he replied distractedly, apparently intent on his book. "I'll see you in a bit."

At that dismissal, Rose shook her head and continued into the kitchen.

Before she'd even reached the cupboard to grab a mug for her tea, Rose saw it. It was rather difficult not to notice, since the white box was prominently displayed in the center of the kitchen table. In large, bold letters, a notice had been written across the face of the box. "THIS PIE IS THE PROPERTY OF THE DOCTOR. DO NOT DISTURB!!"

Pie, eh? Rose thought that pie sounded like an excellent breakfast. "Do not disturb," indeed. The Doctor had more than enough sweets stashed on board the TARDIS without having to keep an entire pie to himself. Rose pried up the edge of the box lid, and lifted it to reveal--

If there was one thing her travels with the Doctor had given Rose, it was quick reflexes. At the "snick" of the trigger, she ducked and lunged to the right, the pie soaring through the air, high over her left shoulder.

She turned slowly, ready to see the remnants of the pie sliding stickily down the kitchen wall. Instead, she found the Doctor, who had apparently snuck into the kitchen behind her, holding a camera up to his eye, finger on the shutter button. Unfortunately for him, his perfect candid photo position had intersected the pie's trajectory. He just stood there, stunned motionless, as the pie plate peeled away from his face with a slurpy sucking sound and fell to the floor. At least the camera had protected his eyes, leaving a clear, rectangular patch across his face when he lowered his hands.

Rose's laughter burst from her before she could even think of trying to contain it. "You idiot!" she managed at last, still laughing, and pointing mercilessly at the Doctor. "Was this your pathetic attempt at gettin' back at me for the other day?" she asked, determined to permanently burn the sight of a pie-covered Doctor into her memory. She leaned back against the table, holding her side, fairly certain she had laughed herself to tears.

In answer, the Doctor swiped a finger full of cream off of his camera, and unceremoniously flicked it at Rose, hitting her square in the face. Her laughter immediately ceased, as she disbelievingly reached up and wiped away the offensive glob. She opened her mouth to say, well, something, when she froze. Before her, a very satisfied Doctor was casually licking the cream from his fingers. "Mmm, banana," he said, and then licked his lips as thoroughly as his tongue was able.

Think you've won? thought Rose. Try this on for size, Doctor.

Without another thought, Rose walked up to the Doctor, seized his face in her hands, and licked a swath of cream from beside the corner of his mouth. Satisfied at his impression of a goldfish, she resumed her position leaning against the kitchen table, arms crossed across her chest, a smug smile on her face as she licked her own lips. How far are you really gonna take this? she thought. Ready to admit defeat?

Apparently not, because the Doctor stepped towards her then, tossing his camera on the table behind her. Rose straightened, not quite knowing what to expect, as the Doctor brought his hands up to cradle her head. Before she could think, his lips were on hers, his tongue searching out the few missed bits of cream from the corners of her mouth. Rose's eyes drifted closed, and without any conscious decision, she parted her lips. She felt the Doctor sigh--or was that both of them?--as he ran his tongue over her teeth and against her own tongue. Her hands were on his back, trying to pull him closer. Oh, he tasted like bananas. And the Doctor. If a banana cream covered Doctor hadn't been in her fantasies before, he certainly was now. This must be heaven.

When Rose really couldn't go any longer without a breath, she reluctantly pulled back. She was quite pleased to see the Doctor, eyes still closed and breathing rather quickly himself, lick his lips once more. Rose reached up to wipe away some of the remaining cream from his face. He opened his eyes and smiled, then schooled his features into mock seriousness. "You, ah, you'd missed a spot," he said, gesturing at the corner of her mouth, then backing away to lean against the doorframe with both hands in his trouser pockets.

"Thanks," Rose answered, now leaning heavily against the table behind her, supported by her hands. She really didn't think her legs would work on their own right now.

"Right," he said, turning to exit the kitchen, but ruining any grace in his escape by slipping in the remnants of the pie on the floor. "Right," he said again, regaining his balance. "I'll just be," he gestured somewhat nervously down the corridor. "Gonna get cleaned up, you know. Right." With that he was gone.

Rose glanced around the pie covered kitchen. This little competition of theirs looked like it was going to be the death of them. But if so, she was gonna die happy.

The end.