I told myself, if I ever wrote fan fiction, I would swear off Anime for the rest of my days.
Good thing I'm such a good liar.

I Want You to Believe in Me

Kir Sirin

L was depressed.

To anyone else, it would simply look as if L was a bit too overworked and the explanation would fit all-too-well with the spidery detective.

But Light knew better.

He watched silently with chestnut brown eyes as L's black iris' looked past the computer screen as if it held nothing important enough to catch his gaze. His eyelids slowly drooped halfway past his unblinking orbs and the crouch in his back became even more pronounced.

As he heard L sigh, Light felt a pang in his chest that made him start to wonder of its reason.

Maybe it's just because we have been chained together so long. Forever in each other's company…

The excuse didn't satisfy him, but nonetheless, he decided he would help L get out of this depression he now found himself in.

"Ryuzaki…" Light got up and tugged a bit on the chain to get L's attention. "I'm going to the kitchen."

L merely nodded, got up, and kept his eyes to the floor as they walked into the headquarters' kitchen.

Light looked over his shoulder and at the sight of L's downcast form. He stifled a smile. The great detective looked so defeated.

But it killed Light to not know why.

So he lost his sudden elation and turned to the cabinets before him. He took out a box of chocolate cupcake mix and placed it on the counter. He sought another glance of L, to see if the man had seen what Light had taken out, but he hadn't.

L was too busy looking at his toes and chewing on his thumb nail lazily.

The sight quickly started to disgust Light. What was the matter with him? Did it have something to do with the Kira case?

Of course. Everything has to do with the Kira Case.

Light quickly took out the cupcake pan, set it on the counter beside the mix it was destined to hold, turned on the oven, and started to mix the powdered substance with the desired amount of milk.

As Light stirred the concoction, he wouldn't, couldn't, take his eyes off of L. Even as he poured the gooey mix into the metal containers, he couldn't even blink.

L was so sad.

He had fashioned himself on a chair with his elbow pressed against his knee and his thumb over his lips; in his usual sitting position. The other hand was pulled out towards Light's; connected by singing metal. His toes curled and un-curled against the edge of the cushioned chair. His black hair fell like ink from his canvas-pale face and even the tips of them seemed to droop sadly. His eyelids dropped lower and it almost looked like L was sleeping.

Light was so wrapped up in staring at L he had almost forgotten about the cupcakes, and so he jumped a bit when the oven beeped.

When had he put the cupcakes in the oven?

Light found his memory a bit muffled.

He took a towel from the kitchen sink and gingerly took the hot metal from the oven. Chocolate quickly filled the air and Light was half-expecting L to pick up his head.

But he didn't.

Light wasn't surprised. He could never fully expect something from L.

He would just end up getting disappointed.

Instead he took a chocolate cupcake in his hand, walked towards the three greatest detectives, and simply said, "Ryuzaki."

Said detective didn't look up.

"Ryuzaki…" Light, against his swelling pride, got on his knees and looked under L's mass of black hair to see his shadowed face. "Look what I made for you." He didn't mean to, but the smile Light gave L was as real as the air they now breathed.

L slowly looked at Light and then to the chocolate cupcake. His voice had no emotion behind it, but the detective's eyes were enough to convince Light what he was truly feeling, "Thank you, Light-kun."

He was still sad.

He didn't take the gift Light held in his open hand, just simply asked, "Why would you make me this?"

"Do you really care for the answer, or are you just making idle chit-chat so I wont ask what's wrong with you?"

Light's breath came in sharp and quick when his eyes were met with L's.

"You are asking if I care?"

"Yes…" Light swallowed. Since when did L get so close?

"I should believe that the answer to your question would be clear to someone with your intelligence level."

Did he just insult me?

"Uh… So you don't want this then?" Light waved the cupcake through L's gaze. He sighed and gave a curt laugh when it brought no reaction. "I guess a Kira suspect can only make you feel uneasy and never really pleased." He moved to stand back up when L shot him a curious glance.

"You were trying to please me?"

"Well yeah… You looked depressed… So I thought that I would try to make you happy."


"Because I'm your friend." Light gave a cinematic smile after his statement.

L held Light's smile with an unchanging expression. He slowly, and softly, took Light's hand in his and brought the cupcake up to his pale lips, "Thank you, Light-kun."

As he took a soft bite from the top, Light could feel the blood rush to his cheeks.

L closed his eyes and savored the chocolate wash the bitter taste he had in his mouth away. The grip he had on Light's hand grew tighter and he pulled it closer to his mouth; wishing for that ugly taste to be eradicated forever.

Light swallowed hard and loud as L drew him closer. He placed his free hand on L's shoulder in a silent attempt at stopping him. He cleared his throat nervously and couldn't ignore the quickened pace his heart had taken.

What was happening?

L opened his black eyes and looked into Light's. The flustered face the boy had taken on surprised L.

Had something offended him?

L gently, almost shyly, grabbed the back of Light's neck to bring them so close that their foreheads touched. "Light-kun," His once gentle grip on Light's wrist now turned hard and strong. "forgive my actions."

L tugged Light's wrist behind his head and forced the teen's lips to connect with his own. The kiss was presented hard but L silently moved back and reversed the feel to a more softer tone.

He pressed his lips softly against Light's. It was a quiet, shy kiss that whispered of a secret Light knew he shouldn't know of. He found himself wishing to press his lips into the detective's.

Should he give in to his temptation?

Light's eyes were already closed and he could feel L's cool breath mingle with his own. His hand let go of the semi-eaten cupcake to intertwine his fingers with L's. He gripped L's hand hard and squeezed.

L moved his other hand from the back of Light's neck and traveled up through his brown hair. It was soft and silky, much how L had imagined it would be.


Had L truly imagined himself doing this before?

With Light kneeling there, before L, and the feel of his hand in his own, and his lips just beginning to press against his, L's mind could make out the simple conclusion.


L's sudden realization had been the cause of his dramatic depression earlier for he had thought that Light could never want something like this from him. There was nothing special in the detective that Light would want to hold as his own.

So what was the reason for Light pressing harder against L in a desperate attempt to get closer to him?



To get closer…

To him.

Of course. L wanted to shut his eyes tighter and to forget what his mind had just deducted, but found that he could not.

Light-kun only wants to get closer to me to retrieve my name… For Light-kun is Kira.

L could feel Light use his free hand to wrap around his shoulders and press him closer to his chest. The other was still wrapped in L's own and he could feel the soft sensation of Light's thumb rubbing across the back of L's pale hand.

The boy's skin was so soft that L never wanted to be parted from it, but he knew he had to. He was kissing a mass-murderer that only thought of the detective's death.

Even now.

L pressed harder against Light's soft lips one last time before shoving him off roughly and standing up.

Light's brown eyes widened in surprise and he stopped his fall with the back of his hands hitting the floor first.

"Please refrain from coming in such close contact with me again, Light-kun." He said simply and walked out of the kitchen; ultimately dragging Light to his feet and after him.

As they sat back down to their seats in front of separate computers, Matsuda asked, "What happened to you guys?"

"Nothing, Matsuda-san." L retorted. "Light-kun simply wished to make me cupcakes."

"Really?" Matsuda's face lit up. "Where are they?"

"In the kitchen."

"Cool!" He got up out of his seat and made a dash to the selected area.

Light touched his lips gently with his fingertips, not even bothering to look at his computer, and his mind thought of possible reasons of L's actions.

L would never do something like this… No matter his state of mind. It was too quick, too spontaneous… He didn't think it through… L thinks everything through… Then he pushed me off… Like I was the person that kissed him… He couldn't possibly hold those feelings for me. Why would he? I'm a suspect and nothing else, unless…

This is all a game?

Which means he just kissed me to see how I'd react... And I fell for it. But what for?

To get close enough to me to get me to admit to being Kira.

As the cupcakes Light had made especially for L were eaten without a second thought by Matsuda, L and Light were both deep in thought.

Fine L…

Very well, Kira…

If you wish to play this game with me, then I will defeat you.