The Billion-Dollar Princess Bride - Scene 1
The Billion-Dollar Princess Bride
Cousin Crash! How are ya feelin'?" a cheery Molly Holly spoke as she bounded
into her sick Cousin's room.
yucky," Crash replied, blowing his nose as he wrapped the bedsheets around
um… well, I got somthin' that'll cheer ya right up!"
Hardcore is here!"
frowned, "Awww man… He'll smack me upside the head and yell at me for bein'
c'mon, Crash… he won't do that!"
Whatcha' sitting then feeling sorry for yourself? You're a Holly, not a
wimp!" Hardcore Holly began as he entered the bedroom. He went up to crash
and smacked him upside the head.
leave you two boys alone," Molly giggled, then headed out.
sat on the chair beside Crash's bed and handed him a wrapped present, "I
brought you something,"
What is it, Cousin?"
open it up and you'll see!" Hardcore replied.
ripped off the paper, and studied the object in his hand, less then enthused,
"That's right! MY big cousin read it to me when I was sick, and now
I'm gonna read it to YOU! So sit back and shut up,"
Cousin," Crash spoke, afraid to say no.
Hardcore replied, "Now let's start..."
[From here on, Hardcore
Holly will be referred to as the Narrator]
upon a time, there was a young girl named Stephanie, the daughter of Vince
McMahon. She was raised in a large, tasteful mansion in Stamford, Connecticut.
Her favorite past-times were driving her porsche, and tormenting the wrestlers
that worked for her father. One particular wrestler was named Jericho.
Nothing gave Stephanie as much pleasure as tormenting Jericho.
Jericho] Y2Jerk, wax my porsche. I want to see my face shining
in it by morning!
Bottom-feeding trashbag ho!
trashbag ho' was all Jericho ever said.
out an empty cup] Y2Jerk, refill my coffee!
the cup] Bottom-feeding trashbag ho!
other wrestlers started realizing the reason Jericho called Stephanie a
'bottom-feeding trashbag ho' was because he had a crush on her and refused
to admit it. Even more amazing was that they realized Stephanie had
a crush on Jericho too, but refused to admit it as well.
Y2Jerk, tonight you're jobbing to X-pac!
to X-Pac] Bottom-feeding trashbag ho!
had no chance of winning the WWF title since Vince only cared about the
big guys. Instead, he packed his few belongings and left the WWF to seek
a championship in Japan. It was a very emotional time for Stephanie.
evilly] I'll never see you again...
Jericho: Of course
well… maybe something will happen to you!
always return to torment you.
how can you be sure?
I hate you. You think I hate EVERYONE I meet? [Jericho then grabs Stephanie
and kisses her, despite her struggling and protests. He smirks, then leaves]
Jericho didn't reach his destination. The ship heading to Japan was
attacked by the Dread Pirate No-Seller. When Stephanie got the news that
Jericho was squashed...
Crash Holly: [interrupting]
Squashed by pirates is cool!
up before I beat you! [clears his throat, then continues] When Stephanie
got the news that Jericho was squashed... she went into her room and shut
the door, realizing life just wouldn't be the same any more without him.
and heartbroken] I will never torment anyone again...
TO BE CONTINUED