AN: Well, dear reader, this is the last chapter. Yes, the very last chapter of this fic. And, I'm going to be honest with you, I think it sucks. I hate it. The reality is I've really lost interest in this story. I don't want to write it anymore. It's all my own fault. If this story has taught me anything, it's the importance of having a good plan in place and not leaving a half written chapter for months - literally. I have thought many times about abandoning this fic, particularly during this last chapter when my motivation was zero, and had I encountered another computer malfunction and lost everything on it, I probably wouldn't have started writing it again. Actually, having to write it all again would probably make me cry. But I didn't want to abandon it so close to the end. I wanted to at least give some kind of ending, even if it was rubbish. That being said, up until the last chapter, I did have a lot of fun writing this fic. I've been writing it for a couple of years, mostly due to my bad planning and discipline. Despite the immense relief I'm going to feel once I finally change the status of this story to 'Complete', I am a little bit sad to see the end of MSEL. It's seen me through some rough times. It - strangely enough - feels like the end of high school: I'm a little sad because it's the end, but thank god it's over. Or that Kirsty MacColl song: "I don't feel sad about letting you go, I just feel sad about letting you know."
That being said, up until the last chapter, I did have a lot of fun writing this fic. I've been writing it for a couple of years, mostly due to my bad planning and discipline. Despite the immense relief I'm going to feel once I finally change the status of this story to 'Complete', I am a little bit sad to see the end of MSEL. It's seen me through some rough times. It - strangely enough - feels like the end of high school: I'm a little sad because it's the end, but thank god it's over. Or that Kirsty MacColl song: "I don't feel sad about letting you go, I just feel sad about letting you know."That was weird...
So, in short, sorry for this last chapter and thank you if you've ever read this story and enjoyed it. Or even read the story and didn't enjoy it, whatever. But thanks for reading, and, for the most part, it's been a blast. Cheers. x
I glance at the clock. 2.39. It's 2.39am and I'm only just going to bed. Today (yesterday, technically) I haven't stopped. Between work this morning and then building what seemed like every piece of nursery furniture known to man, I'm exhausted. It started out with four of us trying to build the furniture: myself, Turk, Dr Cox and Alyssa. Carla came round to help after her shift, and Elliot joined in with the building for a while after dinner before going back to the hospital. At one point there were six of us building up the furniture and it still took until after 2am. The lesson we've all learned from many mishaps that included wrong numbers of screws, wrong sizes of screws, slanted dresser tops (you get the idea): Never trust IKEA instructions. Just don't do it. It will not end well, and you'll only complete all construction at 2am. But it's all been worth it, because Riley's coming home from hospital today. After all this time, our baby's finally coming home.
You're probably wondering why we left it to the last minute to build the nursery. It felt too much like tempting fate to build a nursery before being as certain we possibly could be that Riley would be get to come home. Hence only completing the nursery at two in the morning.
I'm going to sleep now. It's going to be a big day.
The next thing I'm aware of is being shaken. At the periphery of consciousness, I can hear Elliot chattering away in the distance. Except she can't be a distance away, she's right next to me.
"What?" I mumble, not quite fully lucid.
I glance at the clock again. It's just past 4. "What?"
"We forgot to get diapers. We don't have any freaking diapers for Riley. We can't bring her home and not have any diapers for her."
I could have sworn we got them yesterday, but I'm not arguing with Elliot. "It's okay, we'll go to Walmart before I go to work." Crap, I forgot that I'm working this morning to tie up loose ends before taking a few weeks off with Riley.
"What time do you start?"
"We better get up now then."
"Say an hour to get ready, forty minutes to get to the store. That takes us to nearly six. Then an hour to go around the store to get the diapers and pick up anything else that we think of and then half an hour to drive to the hospital. 7.30. And then that gives half an hour for coffee and something to eat before your shift starts."
I rub the sleep from my eyes. "That's a lot of information to process on an hour's sleep."
"Come on, we gotta get up."
"I'll be there in a second." I say that, but a second later when I'm drifting back into unconsciousness.
I sit up in the bed, trying to acquire enough awareness to prevent me walking into doors or wall. Haven't learned the layout of the new house to sleepwalk around it safely yet. I hear Elliot's footsteps as she makes her way out of the room, and then a few seconds later, I hear knocking on a door down the hall.
"Alyssa, time to get up. Lys? Wake up."
It takes another few minutes of knocking on the door for there to be any kind of response, by which point I think Alyssa has given up trying to ignore the noise. Also, by this time I'm up and standing in the hall opposite my door, watching. This should be interesting.
Alyssa's bedroom door swings open, and the sleep-deprived teenager steps forward. There's murder in her eyes. "What... the hell?"
"We're going to Walmart."
Alyssa blinks incredulously. "Again, I feel forced to ask this question: What the hell?"
"We're going to Walmart," Elliot repeats.
"It's four o'clock in the freaking morning!"
"A fact that pisses us both off," I chip in, only to receive a glare from Elliot.
"And we'll be going straight to the hospital after so take your things."
"Huh?" I don't start until 8."
"Don't ask her to tell you the math," I say. "Just trust her on that one."
"Can you be ready in an hour?" Elliot asks her niece.
"Do I have much choice?"
"Good girl. Okay, I'm going to make some coffee."
Once Elliot is out of earshot, I say this: "It's official. She's gone insane."
Alyssa nods. "I'm blaming you," she says before walking back into her room and closing the door.
It's 7.45 and I've already been awake for nearly four hours. That, coupled with the 90 minutes of sleep I actually achieved before then, is why I'm lying along the comfy chairs in the lecture theatre before the official start of volunteering. Today there are new volunteers starting, and we've been asked to essentially induct them to Sacred Heart Hospital and all its weird and wonderful ways. I'm actually going to miss volunteering here when I go to college. Maybe I'll come back here after medical school. Maybe. Never know what's going to happen. I mean, I could love it out in Massachusetts and decide I never want to leave. Or maybe I'll go down to Florida. Or Alaska. No, too cold. Oh, or maybe I'll end up in Hawaii...
... Sorry, I tend to ramble when I'm tired. I'll stop it.
Anyway, all the new volunteers are supposed to arrive about 8 and we're supposed to give a talk to them about the rules and what we do and what's going to happen today. And then we're each working with 1 or 2 of the new volunteers to show them around the hospital and actually show them what to do. I feel bad whichever unfortunate new volunteers get landed with me. I am not in a good mood today. I should apologise to them in advance.
The door to the conference room opens and I can hear the mingled chat of some of the other old (right word?) volunteers walking in, but I don't look up to see whose there. Footsteps head over to where I'm lying. I still don't open my eyes.
I instantly recognise the next voice as Kate's. "Wow, you look rough."
Unable to formulate an intelligent verbal response, I flip Kate the one-fingered salute.
"Somebody's bitter and unpleasant this morning."
"Sorry. I'll be nicer after coffee."
"Speaking of which..."
And as if Kate had been acting as a cue, Michael walks in, carrying a Coffee Bucks tray. As people take their drinks from the tray, he says: "Who ordered the double espresso?"
I raise my right hand.
"And the other double espresso?"
I raise my left hand. "Over here."
"Two double espressos? Seriously?"
"Yep. If I'm going to remain awake today, I'll have to be downing the coffees Lorelai Gilmore style."
"Or you could try to convince Carla to rig you up to an IV filled with coffee." Kate suggests.
"You think she'd do that?"
Michael shakes his head.
Me: "Damn." I sit up in my seat. "Well, people, in about 10 seconds I am going to be a hell of a lot more pleasant." And in quick succession, I down the two double espressos.
Then I hear an unknown voice behind me. "That was freaky."
"You'll get used to Alyssa," Kate says. "You must be one of the new volunteers."
The girl nods, and she's followed by a few new people.
"Come, take a seat," Kate tells them. "We'll get started as soon as the others arrive."
About ten minutes later (which has been enough time for all that caffeine to kick in – I'm in a great mood now!), all the new volunteers are here and the oldies are standing on the stage-y type thing.
We agreed on different things we were going to tell the new guys. Somehow I was given Zee Rulez. Honestly, that's how it's written on my piece of paper. I was in a weird mood when I was writing my notes for this. I've been through break times and what to do if something goes wrong. And after taking about our not so cheery black scrubs...
"As for footwear," I say, "sneakers, Crocs, that sort of thing is allowed. But definitely nothing open-toed and, um," I hesitate, "no ballerina pumps."
And at that point everyone in the room – and I mean everyone, including myself – looks down at my choice of footwear. My favourite purple ballerina pumps that I always know the location of, even in the middle of the night when I walking around like a zombie getting ready to go to Walmart.
"Yeah, I forgot to pick up my sneakers before I left my house this morning. It's a long story. Oh, which reminds me. General note to everybody: If, by any chance, you come across a blonde woman, about five eight-ish, chattering away in either French, German or a language that believe it or not is English, just walk right by her. Do not make eye contact and definitely do not try to speak to her. I repeat, do not try to speak to her. She is crazy and you need some sort of training to be able to deal with her in her current state. You need to be prepared."
"Lys, you've just scared the living bejeezus out of them."
"I did not."
Michael then addresses the other volunteers. "How many of you think you're going to run into a psycho woman who will kill you with an axe?"
Pretty much every hand bar mine is raised. And yes, that does include all the old volunteers.
"My bad. She won't kill you, I swear," I tell them. "But the woman is fricking insane today."
"Can you blame her?" Kate asks me.
"That's not the point."
The point of conversation quickly moves on to which of us old volunteers are going to show the new guys around the hospital. I'm showing two of the volunteers – Casey and Leah – around today.
They walk up to me nervously. Can't blame them.
"Hey guys," I say to them. "First off, I must warn you that although the psycho woman won't kill you, she is insane and there is a high chance we'll encounter her at some point. It's a long story... Anyway, I'm Alyssa. I'm going to show round the hospital."
After her day at school, Alyssa walked through the apartment door to be hit with the smell of curry. At least, it smelled like curry, but in the few months Alyssa had lived here, nobody had ever made curry.
"What's cooking?" She called out, closing the apartment door behind her.
"Chicken curry," replied her aunt Elliot from the kitchen." It'll be ready in a few minutes."
That made slightly more sense. Ever since Elliot had found out a few weeks ago that she was pregnant (and now four months gone), more and more unusual foods had made an appearance, like pizza for breakfast and cereal garnished with tomato ketchup. Elliot didn't reserve the weird foods for herself. Alyssa was still trying to live down the day she went to eat her lunch at school to discover that her aunt had given her a chocolate and onion bhaji sandwich.
The teenager tossed her school bag down on the floor, and threw her school blazer onto one of the coat pegs before making her way to the table, where JD was sitting.
"How was school?" he asked her.
"It was okay," she answered. "I had to go to Mass this morning though. It's a long hour, and it's very irritating when they put Mass during your study period."
"That's typical. Are you as scared about this curry as I am?"
"Definitely," Alyssa answered. "I'm still trying to get the taste of onion bhaji and chocolate out my mouth."
"Dinner's ready," Elliot said cheerily from the kitchen.
"Thank you," the other two responded, as she put plates down on the table.
The curry didn't appear to contain anything out of the ordinary, and dinner went like normal. When the phone rang Elliot got up to answer it.
"Oh my god," Alyssa said painfully, once her aunt was out of earshot. "My mouth is on fire. Actually on fire."
"She must've put a whole jar of chilli and cayenne pepper and Tabasco sauce in that!"
"Holy crap. Is there a fire extinguisher around here?"
"How the hell is she not dying right now?" JD rubbed his eyes. "Okay, that was a bad idea. Ow. Ow. Ow."
The pair were still trying to counteract the ridiculous pain caused by a ridiculously spicy curry when Elliot walked back into the room.
"I'm doing an extra shift this week," she said, before noticing the somewhat odd expressions on the other two's faces. "Are you two okay?"
"Yeah," Alyssa answered meekly, although she was trying her best to hide her pain.
Elliot raised an unconvinced eyebrow. "Okay then..."
JDTurk texted me a few minutes ago, asking me to meet him outside in the parking lot. Intrigued, I began to head there immediately from the second floor. As I walk out the hospital door, I see a chunky blue mat and Turk standing proudly beside it; arms stretched open in a 'ta-da' fashion.
"Is this what I think it is?"
Turk gives an exaggerated nod. "In recognition of Riley getting home from hospital today, this, my friend, is the set up for an ultimate, celebratory Super Eagle."
"You're kidding me."
Within a few seconds, Turk has lifted me onto his shoulder as is spinning me around. It's so much fun. But during rotation, I can see three people walking towards me. One of them is in black scrubs, and the other two are dressed in normal clothes. They stop walking when they're near us.
"Oh, sweet Jesus," a voice I recognise as belonging to Alyssa says.
"What?" Turk says, as he stops spinning (voluntarily anyway), and puts my feet on the ground.
"You people are doctors," Alyssa snaps back. "No no. You people are fathers."
"They're doctors?" One of the people with Alyssa asked incredulously.
"Unfortunately, yes," Alyssa answers. "Casey, Leah, meet Drs Turk and Dorian. You'll be seeing them a lot around the hospital. And more often than not they'll be doing something ridiculous like this."
"You're in a bad mood today," Turk says to her.
Alyssa shrugs. "No sleep and m'caffeine buzz is wearing off."
"Sucks to be you," I say.
"Sucks to be me? Oh really?" Alyssa aggressively asks. "You look like you're about to throw up."
"Unbelievable," Alyssa mutters to herself.
"Anyway. It's nice to meet you two," Turk says to the new volunteers. "When do you guys officially start?"
"Tomorrow," Leah answers. "We were just in for induction and a tour."
"I've shown them all around the hospital. Although I kind of regret taking you by paeds."
"Why?" I ask.
"We ran in to a scary blonde woman."
"Yes, and Scary Blonde Woman had a message for you, Dr Dorian. I don't want to repeat it, but she used the word 'frick'. A lot. And she also mentioned something about plotting you demise."
"Elliot is really going psycho today, isn't she?" Turk says incredulously.
Alyssa nods. "Little bit."
"I should go up there..."
"And, for your own safety, take food with you," Alyssa says. "Unless you want to risk being mauled to death."
"Thanks for the warning. By the way, are you still blaming me for this morning?" I ask Alyssa.
AlyssaThe new volunteers all left the hospital a little while ago, and I'm eventually taking a lunch break. However I'm not eating my lunch. Instead, I'm on the phone to yet another one of my uncles. This time it's my uncle Barry though, so at least I get a good gossip out of it.
Although Uncle Barry called to tell me to wish Elliot, JD and Riley well today, he has some news of his own.
"That's great that you and Harrison moved in together," I say over the phone. "Congratulations. Give me your new address, I'll send you a card and stuff. "
While my uncle Barry gives me the address and more details about their new flat, Turk walks into the cafeteria. He says me – I'm sitting on my own – and sits down at the same table.
I nod 'hello' to him, still talking on the phone.
As Uncle Barry tells me that he has to go because he has to get to work, Turk reaches over and attempts to take some of the fries from my plate. I swat his hand away.
"Dude!" I say, once I'm off the phone. "Get your own fries!"
"Yours taste better," is the sarcastic response, accompanied by an exaggerated grin as Turk takes more fries from my plate. "Why are you writing down an address?"
"I need to send a 'Congrats on the new house' card to my uncle Barry and his boyfriend. They moved in together."
Turk reads the first line of the address, specifically the name. "Barry Reid and Harrison Kelso?" He asks me.
"Yeah. Why are you trying not to laugh?"
Yeah, I'm so not convinced. Anyway. "Are you gonna be there at two to see them all off?"
"Of course," Turk answers. Then he pauses. "It's been a hell of a rollercoaster hasn't it?"
"Yep," I sigh. "It seems like just yesterday we were making those bets on when they'd get together." Ah, nostalgia.
"Those bets were fun," Turk says. "Do you want to make more bets?"
"Sure. What on?"
Turk thinks for a second. "Okay. I bet you twenty bucks I'll be Riley's godfather."
"Get lost!" I tell him. "That bet sucks. Everybody knows they'll ask you and Carla to be godparents. In fact, anyone who actually agrees to that bet deserves to have their money taken. Back to the drawing board." And I find myself pointing at in imaginary drawing board. Why? Don't know.
"Fine," a disgruntled Turk responds. He's silent for a few seconds as he thinks. "Okay. How about a bet on when he'll propose to Elliot?"
"Now that bet, I'll take," I say. "You first."
"Six months," Turk answers. "Go."
Turk contorts his face with some mix of confusion and wondering if I'm an idiot. "What? No way. Are you trying to lose money?"
"Why would I try to lose money? What kind of idiot do you take me for?"
"Then why would you bet today?"
I shrug. "I've got a feeling." That tonight's going to be a real good night. Sorry, my singing is terrible. Especially driving in my car on my own with the radio turned up as I sing along to that song. Oopsy.
Turk's pager bleeps, and he looks down at it. "Sure. Whatever. I'll be looking forward to taking your 20 bucks." He begins to walk away but pauses and turn back around. "You know, I'm pretty sure I heard Dr Kelso saying that his son Harrison had just moved in with his boyfriend. Barry something. OB/GYN. From New York or Connecticut. Somewhere around there."
I'm about to say that's one hell of a coincidence but something else clicks in my I add two and two together and come up with four."You're kidding me?"
"Nope," Turk says, his voice affected by stifled laughter.
"My uncle Barry's living with Dr Kelso's son?"
"My Uncle Barry's living with Dr Kelso's son?"
"Yep," Turk repeats.
"My uncle Bar-"
"It doesn't matter how many times you say it," Turk interrupts. "It's still going to be true."
Cue my descent into fits of laughter. Turk's laughing with me.
"Oh my god, I can't breathe," I say through the laughter. At least that's what I tried to say. I have no idea what it actually sounded like.
I'm still laughing my ass off when Turk eventually walks out of the cafeteria.
It had been a normal in Sacred Heart before A medical student rushed in to the cafeteria, face etched with impending disaster.always play scissors?"
"Dr Reid's about to kill someone!" He said hurriedly.
"Elaborate," Turk said.
"One of the interns made an admittedly idiotic comment about a mood swing and she's about to kill him. I honestly think she might kill him."
JD looked across to Alyssa, who didn't look up from the magazine she was reading.
"Rock paper scissors," they both said, although Alyssa was much less enthused than her uncle.
"Damn it!" JD cursed as she saw that Alyssa has played scissors to his paper. He got up from his table and followed the med student.
"Every time," Alyssa muttered, shaking her head. "How, in five months have you not learned that I will
JDThis is it. In about thirty seconds (once I sign the last set of discharge papers) we get to take Riley home. Once I put the last signature on the piece of paper, Riley's no longer a hospital patient. She has to come back every few months for check-ups, but she no longer has to be here all the time. We can actually take Riley home.
It feels like we've been waiting forever for this moment. The moment when I write the last letter of my signature and it's all over. "Riley is officially discharged from Sacred Heart Hospital."
"Yay," Elliot says, looking down at Riley. She lifts the baby up higher. "You get to go home now, Riley. How about that? You're going home. We're all going home." She puts Riley into the pram, then turns to me "Once we walk out of here, we're on our own. We ready for this?"
"As we're ever going to be."
And we're out of there.
"I want to go down to see everybody before we go," Elliot says.
When we step out of the elevator on the floor where we usually work, Turk, Carla, Alyssa and Dr Cox are all standing waiting on us.
"We wanted to see you all off," Turk says.
"Even you Dr Cox?" I ask.
Dr Cox just grumbles.
"Dr Cox was the one who suggested we meet you at the elevator," Carla tells us, and she's met with a glare from the curly-haired doctor.
"Photo op," Alyssa says, holding up her camera.
The photo is taken.
"I know I'll see you at five when I get home," Alyssa says, "but I just wanted to see you quickly before you go." She hugs the both of us then looks into the pram at Riley. "Riley, few quick rules. Please don't steal my make-up or CDs. Okay? Just kidding. Wait until I get home and I'll show which are the good ones. I really have to go. I have to help Kate tidy up that empty room. "See you when I get home." Alyssa walks away.
"I have to go too," Turk frowns. "I have a consult in a few minutes. See you later guys."
Dr Cox walks away without really saying much, just a nod of the head.
"Hey, some of the other nurses got you some cards and things," Carla says and we follow her along the corridor, into the main area of the ward.
Standing here in the ward right now – Elliot with one hand on Riley's pram as she talks to one of the nurses – I can't quite believe this moment is real. If some fortune teller or psychic or wizard (how cool would that've been?) had told me everything that was going to happen in my life and between Elliot and me, I'd would have laughed in their face. Although, I think I'd be too stunned to do anything if a wizard was talking to me. I may have actually had a heart attack and had to be admitted to the hospital as a patient on my first day.
It's been a hell of a journey for Elliot and me. From our first year as interns when we tried and train-wrecked a relationship and all those 'sex buddy' years, and those months after Turk and Carla's wedding when we could barely look each other in the eye. In all honesty, at that time I wasn't sure if we'd ever get to being friends again. And here we are now, about to take our daughter home.
"We'll stop by and visit you all tomorrow," Carla says, once the conversation with one of the other nurses ends. "Have a safe ride home, and well, good luck."
Thanks, I think.
You know what, if I've learned anything from the rollercoaster that's been the last few months, it's that life's too short to mess about.
And all the best things that have happened in the last year have happened when we didn't plan them.
Thursday nights only meant one thing for nights. And tonight's episode was a cracker. Some nutter was running around the hospital with a gun shooting people. It was jaw-drop TV. Even right now during a commercial break, they were staring in silence at the TV set. During commercial breaks like this, JD had a habit of zoning out. But a sudden wail from Elliot brought him back to attention. "That poor cow," she sniffed. JD looked at her with confusion. "What cow?" "The cow in the commercial. She just wants to be a horse," she explained through tears. "But she's never going to be a horse. Because she's a cow." In Elliot's last sentence, JD almost didn't understand what she had said through her crying. "Elliot," he said calmly. "It's just a commercial. There isn't a cow somewhere who always dreamt of being a horse." "You don't know that! Can you imagine being one species and wanting to be something else? Oh my god, what if the baby decides they want to be a cat but they can't be a cat because they're human and they're depressed for all their lives. Oh my god." JD put his arm around Elliot and hugged her. "It's okay," he said soothingly. "It'll be okay."
Thursday nights only meant one thing forJD and Elliot. Thursday nights were Grey's Anatomy
nights. And tonight's episode was a cracker. Some nutter was running around the hospital with a gun shooting people. It was jaw-drop TV. Even right now during a commercial break, they were staring in silence at the TV set.
During commercial breaks like this, JD had a habit of zoning out. But a sudden wail from Elliot brought him back to attention.
"That poor cow," she sniffed.
JD looked at her with confusion. "What cow?"
"The cow in the commercial. She just wants to be a horse," she explained through tears. "But she's never going to be a horse. Because she's a cow."
In Elliot's last sentence, JD almost didn't understand what she had said through her crying.
"Elliot," he said calmly. "It's just a commercial. There isn't a cow somewhere who always dreamt of being a horse."
"You don't know that! Can you imagine being one species and wanting to be something else? Oh my god, what if the baby decides they want to be a cat but they can't be a cat because they're human and they're depressed for all their lives. Oh my god."
JD put his arm around Elliot and hugged her. "It's okay," he said soothingly. "It'll be okay."
"And they're out of here," I say to Kate as I walk into the room.
"They've left the hospital?" Kate asks, as she hands me a pair of gloves for cleaning this room.
"Not quite. They're still talking to Carla in the ward. But they're leaving." Staring at the bed, I find myself asking Kate a ridiculous question. "Do you think anybody would notice if I slept in that bed for a few hours?"
"I think the nurses would when they went to admit the next patient."
"Ah, see, the plan is I tell them that it's going to take a few hours to clean the room, so they don't go to admit a patient because they think people are still cleaning in here. Nobody's any the wiser."
Kate shakes her head at me. "Not gonna work."
"Damn. What did you think of the new volunteers?"
"I thought they were all really nice," Kate says. "Although I think they were all weirded out by how, well, weird this place is. 'Cause, well, everything goes down here at Sacred Heart Hospital"
"Very true. But weren't we all weirded out when we first started here?" I ask her. "I know I was."
"Me too," Kate answers. "I think we've all, somehow, got used to the craziness . I told the newbies that and they didn't believe me, so I told them if they didn't, there's always a supply closet you can hide in."
"Those supply closets are excellent hiding places. When I hid in one it took an hour and a half for anyone to find me." The reminiscing makes me sigh. "I think I can say with some authority that this last year has been and will continue to be one of the craziest years in my life. But, you know what, despite all the crap that's happened at various time, it's been a freaking good one too."
Kate laughs before she begins to step out of the room, carrying a bin bag. But she stops. "Uh, Lys?" She says tentatively. "You know how I said that everything goes down at Sacred Heart Hospital?"
"Well... it's finally happening."
"Huh?" I say, walking towards the door. Then I see what she means. "Holy crap, it happening," I whisper, not wanting to disturb the scene in front that everyone is watching. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone. That's including the patients. Seriously, there are patients who I've only even seen asleep watching what's going on up ahead. They're like zombies that only rise from the dead to feast on big moments. That's actually quite disturbing.
So what is happening, I hear you ask. Well...
JD is down on one knee which essentially indicates only one thing. And if you don't know what it is, I'm not telling you. Wait and see.
"Elliot," JD says, "I... I've been trying to think of the perfect things to say to you right now. Well, not right now because I didn't exactly plan to do this here in the hospital but it just seemed right. Anyway, there is no perfect way of saying this. Everything and anything I think to say just seems insignificant and, well, crap."
"Oh dear god," I hear Kate mumble, as she essentially face/palms herself. She's not the only one.
"I mean, after everything we've been through... there aren't words that exist for what I want to say. I guess I could invent words..."
There's another collective groan of incredulity as JD tilts his head to the side.
Seriously, dude? This is so not the time to slip into one of your idiotic daydreams! What a twat.
I roll up the few paper towels in my hand in to a ball and throw it at JD. It hits JD right on the head (not gonna lie, I'm proud of that!), snapping him back to reality.
"Thank you," he begrudgingly says, glaring sideways at me.
"No problem," I answer, nodding.
He turns his attention back to Aunt Elliot. "Anyway, what I'm trying to say is... Elliot Reid... will you marry me?"
"Took you long enough to ask," Aunt Elliot answers, wry smile on her face.
"Wait. Is that a yes?"
"What do you think?"
JD slides the ring onto Elliot's finger, before standing up and kissing her. People start clapping – even Dr Cox and that's saying something.
Kate and I are both squeezing like Twilight fans that've just seen Edward Cullen.
"You know what else is awesome about this? Turk owes me twenty bucks," I say to Kate quietly. Well, quietly in relation to the rest of the noise.
"I bet him that JD would propose to Elliot today."
"Huh," Kate says, with a disapproving look on her face that lets me know what the next question is even before she asks it. "And did you tell Turk you already knew that was going to happen?"
I roll my eyes. "No," I answer reluctantly.
Kate raises an eyebrow. "You get that that's technically fraud, right?"
"I'll give you ten bucks."
As if on cue, Turk walks over to us and hands me two ten dollar bills. I pass one of them to Kate.
Turk looks at us questioningly.
"Long story," I tell him.
"Oh, okay," Turk says obliviously. "I know I lost the last bet, but I got a new one. I bet you twenty bucks that Carla will be Elliot's maid of honour."
"Dude, they just thirty seconds ago got engaged."
"I know. Do you want to take the bet or what?"
I shrug. "Sure. You're on."
"Great." Turk walks away, muttering something about how he is totally going to win this bet.
"Are you kidding with that?" Kate asks me, looking in Turk's direction. "Course Carla'll be her maid of honour."
I nod slightly. "I'm kinda hoping by that time he'll have forgotten we ever made a bet."
JD really should've believed Dr Cox when he said that assembling mobiles was frustrating. He'd spent the last three hours trying to put this one together and, from the looks of it, he was barely half of the way there.
Buying an elaborate mobile had seemed like a good idea at the time. That was before JD tried to put it together. It didn't matter what he did, he still did it wrong.
After taking another break to calm himself down(or else he was going to turn into The Incredible Hulk), JD returned the mobile project. First task was trying to attach one of the arms of the mobile to the base.
Whoever had designed this mobile hadn't done a very good job, as the arm was chunkier than its spot on the base. JD tried with all his might to get that arm to slide into the slot.
It snapped instead.
The window of the nursery was open and, well, the mobile flew straight out of it. That was quickly followed by a shriek.
JD walked over to the window and looked out it. He saw the mobile shattered on the ground and to the side of it was Alyssa – trash bag in hand – glaring at him from down below.
"Dude," she snarled. "Stop throwing things out the freaking window. I don't want a freaking concussion!"
JD apologised and moved away from the window and he could hear Alyssa ranting about the need for hard hats to take the trash out as she walked back into the house.
JD thought it would be a better idea if next time he bought an already assembled mobile for Riley's crib.
JDNow that we're at home, Elliot and I are sitting in Riley's nursery. Riley is in the crib, looking up at the (second) mobile that's spinning above her head and playing a quiet tune. Elliot and I are looking down at our daughter.
"She's beautiful, isn't she?" I say to Elliot. "Yes, you are." That was to Riley.
"You're going to be wrapped around her little finger," Elliot whispers, as Riley's eyes close heavily then re-open like she's trying to keep herself awake.
"I think I already am."
Elliot chuckles and then looks at me. "Love you."
"Love you too."