Real Women


After a night of headaches, nose bleeds, bad backs and sore feet, the aliens still have the strength and will to crawl out of bed to meet Deep Blue for one of his 'encouraging' speeches.

Kisshu tried to adapt to Pai's shoulder as he slowly fell asleep on it after persuading himself it was a pillow. Pai was knackered. He tried to stay awake but his eyes kept closing. His ears were bleeding from the screams of his tortured comrades. He struggled to stay on his two feet.

How could so much punishment be given for walking in on him and his damned Mew Aqua? Look at what he's done to Taruto!

Forget about Kisshu and Pai. It was Taruto who suffered the most.

Taruto could successfully be mistaken for a statue. His hair was everywhere due to a sleepless night, his eyes didn't dare blink, his mouth didn't dare move, Taruto completely shut himself down. Pai noticed Kisshu was drooling on him and cramping his style.

"Get off!"

Pai slowly took a step aside as Kisshu crashed into the ground. He rubbed his head.

"What was that for?"

"SILENCE!"

The three aliens froze, not that Taruto wasn't already as a pathetic blue glow entered their presence. The silhouette of a nude tall elf appeared as well as a ball of Mew Aqua on the ground. Kisshu couldn't help but chuckle, but Pai slapped him out of it.

"IT IS I, DEEP BLUE, THE SAVIOUR OF YOUR PUNY LITTLE PLANET! I-"

"Would you shut up? We already know you're Deep Blue and you haven't even saved our planet yet. Our planet isn't puny."

"HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! YOU SHALL BE-"

"Cut the crap!"

"THAT'S IT-"

"STOP SHOUTING!"

Pai rolled his eyes as Kisshu and Deep Blue tried to out due eachother for hours. But then Pai decided to interupt by covering Kisshu's mouth.

"THAT'S- That's better! Thank you, Pai!"

Pai only smiled lightly but then growled as he turned to Kisshu. Kisshu only shrugged.

"NOW- Now, as I was saying... Due to your mindless behaviour yesterday and your outrageous behaviour today, I will not let you off lightly."

"Like you haven't already..."

"SILENCE!"

"There he goes with the shouting again..."

"TODAY YOU WILL GET YOURSELVES REAL WOMEN! IS THAT CLEAR?"

This was the worst idea yet but the best for Kisshu.

"AND TO MAKE SURE YOU FIND REAL WOMEN, I'LL PAIR YOU UP WITH SOME!"

Pai fainted as Deep Blue assigned him with...


Pai stood outside her window. He looked everywhere, not knowing what to do. Deep Blue decided this, so why couldn't he do it? He always did as he was told.

Pai took one deep breath as he floated up to the window.

He knocked on the window and-

"AH! SOMEBODY HELP ME! THERE'S A PERVERT AT MY WINDOW!"

"Sorry ma'am, I didn't mean to-"

Whack! Whack!

"Ouch, what is wrong with you, woman?"

"Get out!"

Pai fell onto the grass as he rubbed his head. He didn't bother to watch where he was going as he got up instantly and floated away. He didn't take his eyes off of the scene until he crashed into her.

"Ouch..."

"Sorry... Oh..."

She grabbed his hand as he pulled her up, only to gaze into the eyes of-

"Retasu?"

"Pai-san?"

They looked at eachother for a moment, not taking in what just happened. Midorikawa Retasu averted her eyes to the ground, where her books lay.

"Oh-"

"Let me help you."

"No, that's okay... Ooh."

The couple scrambled to the floor as they tried to pick up the books, but their hands touched instead. Pai sighed.

"Would you like to come inside?"

"Fine."

Pai held Retasu's books as he teleported inside, not wanting to be caught by the woman in the bathroom. Retasu held her hands close to her heart as she smiled.

Pai-san...


Before Pai stood before Retasu's house, he had to drop Taruto off at Fong Purin's, seeing as he refuses to move, having shut down himself.

Purin hid behind a tree, peeking through at Taruto, who sat on a bench nearby some birds and a blind woman who fed them. Purin decided she wanted to scare him.

Purin crawled under the bench as she noticed Taruto hadn't moved a muscle. Her pondering ended quicker than she thought as she jumped up in front of Taruto.

"Boo, na no da!"

Taruto jumped, looking around at his surroundings.

"What? How? Damnit, get away from me!"

Purin cried, scaring only the birds away.

What? That's all it takes to make her cry? Why didn't I think of that before?

Taruto frowned.

"Purin only wanted to suprise you, na no da!"

Tears slid down her cheek as Taruto put a hand on her shoulder.

"You did suprise me, monkey girl. Just stop crying, already!"

Purin wiped her tears as she smiled. Taruto smiled too. That was, until he noticed Purin was leading him somewhere.

"Where are we going?"

"To Purin's house, na no da! You can meet Heicha and-"

Oh no...

"Purin loves you, Taru-taru!"

Taruto blinked.

"What?"

"Purin loves you!"

Taruto blushed as he stuttered.

"I-I-I, er, love you, too, monkey girl."

Purin embaraced Taruto in a neverending hug as he sighed.

"Get off..."


Kisshu slept. But where, do you ask? On Momomiya Ichigo's bed, of course!

"KISSHU!"

"Ah!"

Kisshu was pushed off of the bed by Ichigo, who happened to of slept next to him.

"WHO TOLD YOU TO SLEEP IN MY BED WITH ME IN IT?"

"Deep Blue did! Honest!"

"Yeah, right!"

"It's true!"

"Like your leader would tell you something like that! You should of killed me. That's what he said."

"No!"

Whack! Whack!

"Ouch, what was that for?"

"OUT! NOW!"

"Why? Taruto and Pai are getting their girls! Why, not me?"

"Maybe, it's because you're gay. Now, go away!"


The aliens returned to where they were in the morning. Pai kept his complacent expression on, showing no satisfaction or emotion at all.

Taruto's face was red. He couldn't stop blushing.

And Kisshu. Kisshu frowned and frowned again.

Deep Blue laughed as he inspected them all.

"Neither of you can lie to me because I already know by looking at your faces."

Pai groaned.

Great.

"Pai, I know you well enough to know that you certainly did find your real woman."

Pai pulled on his shirt.

"Ha, ha, ha..."

"Taruto, you can't deny it. It's written all over your face!"

Taruto disappeared, too embarassed to bear it.

"And Kisshu. Poor, poor, Kisshu. You didn't get your real woman!"

Kisshu growled.

"Turn that frown, upside down!"

Deep Blue spoke in a clown's tone of voice, freaking Pai out and annoying Kisshu. The nonsense went on for hours until Kisshu finally had the guts to teleport away.


"Damn that, Deep Blue. He should get a real woman, or maybe a man. He's no lover. He's a gay!"


Deep Blue remained where he was, saying sweet nothings to Mew Aqua and kissing it softly.

"I love you, Mew Aqua."