A Naruto Fanfiction
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Authors notes: This story seems quite loved. Quite nice. To those who reviewed, I appreciate it. And I'm really impressed. Even after some months there are still people reading this and adding this story to their favorites / alerts lists.
Well, this is chapter 2. It will contain some Timeskips, as I'm really not interested in writing long chapters about Naruto causing havoc as a baby.
Honestly, the whole plot was just another weird idea of mine and now I'm going to type an entire story. This is also the reason why it is sometimes a bit rushed. I will try to slow it down.
In the reviews, there were some things I will address here, as it is important for the story.
First of all. This will be Naruto x Harem.
Second of all. You should keep in mind that this is an AU. People will develop differently. So, yes, even a Sasuke x Hinata can happen here. It is nothing definite. If this pairing kills off the story for you, to be honest, I don't care. But be relieved Sasuke x Hinata is not likely.
Third of all. The village will know about Narutos heritage. With the Sannin to protect their grandchild the danger of enemies coming after Naruto will be very slim. Simply because it would be suicidal.
Fourth of all. Orochimaru x Tsunade. I realize that quite a bunch of people were more or less shocked by this. Well, I wanted Jiraiya to be Kushinas father. So Orochimaru had to be Minatos father. As for the spiky hair, recessive genes, anyone? Orochimarus parents are to my knowledge unknown. And Nidaime Hokage and Tsunades brother Nawaki both had spiky hair. And I think Orochimaru x Tsunade is nice for a change. And I couldn't see Orochimaru ending in bed with a person he just met the same day.
Fifth of all. The Omakes. The 'Family Research' was a fun Omake related to the story. 'Orochimarus Mother' was done for my fun, because I think having Orochimaru related to Hachibi no Hachimata is quite funny. Anyway, the Omake has no influence on this story. Orochimaru is not related to Hachibi. On a side-note, some persons even voted for Temari having the Hachibi.
Sixth of all. Bashing. I won't do any bashing! Who bashes is too weak to not care about a character and write it neutrally.
Recommended Songs. 'Knorkator – Eigentum', 'Eisregen - Eisenkreuzkrieger', 'Eisregen – Krebskolonie' and 'Janus – Anita spielt Cello'.
Have fun with chapter 2.
Chapter 2 "Growing up is difficult"
The three Sannin sat in Minatos house. Well, now it was their house, because Naruto was too young to inherit it. They were discussing various things. It had been yesterday that Sensei Sarutobi had made them the official guardians of Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto. Today he was going to make an announcement. And he wanted them to be present and bring Naruto with them. They were quite sure what would happen. He would announce Naruto being the vessel of the Kyuubi no Kitsune. Well, the village would know regardless if Sarutobi told this or not. So they decided to get ready for the announcement. And they were hoping that things didn't get out of hand.
Tsunade gently took Naruto from the crib. Shizune did a great job in watching over the boy. She did it whenever Tsunade was busy. They had asked Anko if she could do this, but Anko was not really a person that could watch over a child. She had tried to threaten it to shut up. But it had not worked. Shizune had then come to Ankos relief. She had immediately got the baby to be quiet. Anko had only grinned and looked at the grandparents. "I'm not cut for babysitting." was her comment.
Naruto woke up and wailed a bit. He had been taken from his cozy crib and he wanted to go back there. It was warm there. Tsunade wrapped him in a blanket and then she placed him in a portable crib. After this she went to Orochimaru and Jiraiya.
The three of them headed to the Hokage tower.
At the tower the whole council was assembled. They were arguing back and forth about the best course of action concerning Naruto. Some were demanding the boy's death and some wanted to turn him into a living weapon. But the Hokage had denied any such requests. After a while he got annoyed and bellowed "Silence! You have nothing to say in the matters concerning Naruto. He is not the demon, and he will certainly not be executed. And he will not be turned into some kind of ultimate weapon! Am I clear?" the Hokage wanted to know.
The council nodded. If the Hokage got angry it was the best to shut up. You just had no chance. He was then adamant about a decision and no amount of arguments could persuade him then.
The council looked up as the three Sannin entered the room. Some members were glaring at the crib with Naruto in it.
The Sannin noted the in some cases less than friendly stares Narutos crib got. Tsunade was about to attack the offenders, as her motherly instincts were kicking in and screaming "The offspring is in danger!", but Jiraiya broke the tense silence. "Why have you called us here, Sensei?" he wanted to know.
The Hokage puffed his pipe and grinned a bit. "It concerns young Naruto. You see, the council was debating to turn him into a weapon." Sarutobi began. The sentence earned Fugaku Uchiha and Danzo 4 really evil glares. They were the type of glare that is strong enough to peel the skin of a person. "Others were even calling for his death." Sarutobi continued. After saying this, Orochimaru held back Tsunade, who looked ready to murder some councilmen here and now, consequences be damned. No one threatens her grandchild.
Jiraiya glared at the council. "Why are you discussing Naruto?" he wanted to know.
A councilman spoke up. "The boy is an orphan, as far as our knowledge goes." the man lied. The council knew that Naruto was Minatos and Kushinas son. But they would rather call his mother Setsuna Meioh and his father Kazama Arashi than admitting that Yondaimes child was the demon brat.
Jiraiya looked at the man. "The boy is the son of Namikaze Minato and Namikaze Uzumaki Kushina." he began. "He might be an orphan, but he has his grandparents." he continued. Sarutobi really liked to see the helpless anger on some faces.
The more biased and fearful councilmen didn't like where this headed. They wanted to be rid of the boy, the living reminder of the Kyuubi attack. But if their guesses were correct, getting rid of the boy would be very difficult if not impossible. Their anger rose. It was just not fair. The thing they hated with a passion was out of their reach. And endangering it meant the wrath and / or possible loss of the Sannin. And this was something Konoha couldn't afford right now. They needed to increase their power again as the town had suffered severe losses in the fight against the demon fox.
The Hokage sighed. "Alright. Orochimaru, Tsunade and Jiraiya are the official guardians of Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto. He is officially acknowledged as the son of the Yondaime Hokage Minato Namikaze and Namikaze Uzumaki Kushina." he announced.
The council was silent. Some of the members were very unhappy to hear these truths, but the deed was done. Now they had to live with this. And some of the more subtle forms of shunning should be impossible. After all, the boy had three Kage level Ninjas watching over him. Telling their children to stay away from the boy would be pointless. The Sannin would see through their actions and then have a talk with them.
Sarutobi looked at the clock. "Tsunade, Orochimaru, Jiraiya, it is time to announce Narutos heritage and his fate to the village." Sarutobi said.
His three pupils nodded. And the 4 of them went to the balcony. Below the balcony stood a crowd of people, waiting for the Sandaime to make his announcements.
"Citizens of Konoha!" he began. The crowd was silent and listened. "Yesterday we suffered an attack, larger than every previous attack. I talk about the Kyuubi no Kitsune, the mighty beast of legends."
"Our beloved Yondaime Hokage, Konohas Yellow Flash, managed the task even the Sannin and I together could not complete. He managed to defeat the Kyuubi no Kitsune. It cost him his life." Sarutobi told the crowd. The people were listening intently.
"He defeated the beast by sealing it in the stomach of a newborn baby. But he didn't choose any baby. He just couldn't ask for other parents to give up their child, if he wasn't willing to do the same. Ladies and Gentlemen! I present you Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto, son of the Yondaime Hokage Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina. He is the jailer of the Kyuubi no Kitsune. Without him, Konoha would have been destroyed yesterday. He is a hero! Treat him as one." Sarutobi finished his little speech. Tsunade had held up the crib with Naruto in it and showed it to the crowd.
The villagers were silent, trying to wrap their thoughts around the info. Unfortunately a crowd is just as intelligent as its least intelligent member. And some of the people in the crowd began shouting. "Kill the demon while it is weak!" or "Finish what Yondaime-sama started!" and things like this.
The Sannin and their Sensei were really pissed. "SILENCE!" Sarutobi roared. "This boy IS NOT the demon reincarnated! Drop this foolish belief immediately. Or I will instate a law that makes it punishable only by death to call young Naruto here a demon. He is a human. A sacrifice made to stop the unstoppable beast." Sarutobi declared clearly angered.
It was then that a woman spoke up. In fact, the same woman that had yesterday taken Naruto from the dying Yondaime and brought him to the grandparents. "Yondaime-sama himself trusted me with the boy. He told me that the boy is a hero. Do you doubt Yondaime-samas words?" she asked.
The Sannin were relieved. If things had gotten out of hand they probably would have had to leave Konoha for Narutos safety. Something they didn't really want to do. Travelling was okay, but not with a constant threat to Naruto. They would even have left Konoha if this foolishness continued. But the words of the woman made the crowd stop. This woman had been there when Yondaime-sama died. He had told her about the boy and trusted her. This had to mean that Yondaime trusted the villagers. And suddenly they felt ashamed. They had not placed faith in the strongest Hokage ever. They had cursed Yondaimes son and legacy. The Hokage would frown upon them from wherever he was. And so they began reconsidering.
Sarutobi spoke again. "Tell your children about Narutos tenant. And explain to them that he is not the Kyuubi reborn. You see. A vase contains water. Does this make the vase water?" he said and smiled. The people seemed to understand.
"And a last thing. The seal will over time kill the Kyuubi. There will only a powerless spirit remain. And the Kyuubi will either be sealed in the Shinigami or be set free. If he is set free he will have to wait centuries over centuries before he can regain his power." Sarutobi finally said. This really relieved the crowd. After all, what did they care about the persons that would live in 1000 or more years. Hell, they didn't care about the persons that would live in 100 years. And so the crowd accepted Naruto as a person and a hero. And not a demon and something that should perish.
After this announcement the Sannin returned to the council chamber. And there was a pleasant surprise waiting for them. The heads of the Yamanaka, Inuzuka, Aburame, Hyuga, Nara, Akimichi and finally the Uchiha clan stood there. Although it was clear that Fugaku wasn't entirely happy with the whole situation.
Hiashi Hyuga was the speaker of the group. "Hokage-sama. The heads of the Major Clans have discussed and we came to the decision that we all accept Naruto as a friend of our clans. This means that he is free to visit the clan compounds at any time he pleases. We will also not speak ill of Naruto in private. Whoever does so will be punished hard for disrespecting an honorary clan member. We think that this decision will allow Naruto to make friends more easily." the Head of the Hyuga clan said.
The Sannin nodded gratefully. "We accept the offer on Narutos behalf." Tsunade said while gently caressing Narutos cheeks.
"Of course this offer is also extended to the grandparents." Tsume Inuzuka said. The woman seemed to have taken an instantaneous liking to the little boy. Maybe because she had a son herself. Or because her more feral side liked pups. Or another reason. The Sannin did not really think much about it. They were glad that their grandson was able to make friends.
After some chatting they left the council chambers.
On the way home an argument broke out. "How will we keep Naruto save?" Tsunade had asked.
Both her teammates were thinking heavily about this. "Maybe a constant summon that always keeps him company. A toad would be perfect." Jiraiya had finally said.
Orochimaru took offense to this. "You let my son sign the Toad contract. My grandson will sign the contract of his father's father. Mine. The snake summoning contract. And a snake can keep him save the best. If we choose a constant summon it should obviously be a snake." he had argued.
Tsunade shook her head. "A slug would be the best choice!" she had said.
And it became clear that they wouldn't be able to come to a decision. "We need something that tells us if Naruto is in danger. Maybe even something he can activate on his own. If he is in over his head. If he needs back-up." Tsunade had said after 20 minutes of useless bickering.
Jiraiya nodded. "But what?" he had asked.
They were thinking about this, until Orochimaru had the idea. "A seal. We put a seal on him or on something he can always have at his disposal. And if he activates the seal he is in trouble." he said.
Jiraiya nodded. "This is a good idea. I will design such a seal." he said.
"Who said you would do this?" Tsunade said. "I will create a seal. You will take too long, because you distract yourself with peeping." she added.
Orochimaru shook his head. "Tsunade-hime, it will be me who designs the seal. I am the best when it comes to seals on persons." he said.
Naturally both Jiraiya and Tsunade were against this. They wanted their own seal to be Narutos safeguard.
After some arguing they agreed to create the seal together. If they had continued as they had before, Naruto would be Hokage before they were done with arguing.
At home they gave Naruto in Shizunes care and retreated in Minatos personal study chamber. And they began testing seals, creating new ones to find the result they wanted.
It had taken the three Sannin 6 months until they had created a seal that did what they wanted. A major breakthrough was something Orochimaru had brought in. They had hit a wall after a month or so. Because they had forgotten that the seal had to communicate to another person. So they had to have the same seal on them, so they could be alarmed. A seal that sent out an alarm no one heard was useless after all. And now they were ready. They had their 'Alarm Seal' ready. They would give it to Naruto directly, so he wouldn't lose it.
When they went to see after Naruto, they saw a scene of havoc. The living room looked like Kyuubi had made a mad rampage through it. And little Naruto was sitting in the middle of the chaos and smiled innocently. In his arms he held a cat. What this meant was clear. Another team of Genin had chased the Fire Daimyos wife's cat into their house. Or to be more accurate. They had chased it to Naruto. Naruto was really good when it came to catching cats. The Genin gave the Sannin a bit money for Naruto and took the cat from the boy. Jiraiya was sure that Naruto would by the age of 12 have caught the cat approximately 4000 times. And every time he got around 100 or 200 Ryo. Meaning that he would have between 400000 and 800000 Ryo at this age. The payment for one or two A-Ranked missions.
The three were still thinking about Narutos talent with cats, when Shizune came in. "Oh no! Naruto-kun! What did you do this time?" she asked. And Naruto smiled and patted the cat.
This was another mystery about Naruto. In the smallest amount of times he could wreak havoc like a Professional Wrecking Crew. It was almost as if he was the reincarnation of the God of Collateral Damage. Or of a fighter with heavy collateral damage. Making a room into a total mess took him sometimes only minutes. And all three Sannin agreed on one thing. They would never teach the boy any heavy destructive Ninjutsus if his tendency to massive collateral damage stayed the same or rose.
Suddenly the doorbell rang. Tsunade went to open. And before the door, there stood 3 Genin. A Hyuga boy, an Aburame girl and an Inuzuka boy. All three looked at Tsunade with respect. The young Hyuga spoke. "Lady Tsunade, we came to retrieve the Fire Daimyos wife's cat. We saw her head here." the boy said politely.
Tsunade nodded. "Come in freely and at your own free will." she said and let the Genin enter. They had most likely chased the cat here, so they would have to help with cleaning the living room. For free, of course.
Upon entering the three Genin saw the scene of chaos and they saw Tsunades smirk. Without much complaining they began to resettle the furniture and made everything look like before Naruto and the cat devastated the room. And silently they wondered how much havoc a cat and a baby boy could wreak. In only 5 minutes.
After an hour they were done, everything was clean again and the Sannin were pleased.
The Aburame girl went to Naruto and gently took the cat from him. "Thank you." she said politely and with a small smile. A smile only Naruto could see. To everyone else the high collar obscured their view of her lower face.
Naruto let go of the cat and pouted. He liked petting this fluffy, purring thing. It seemed to like him too.
The Inuzuka boy handed the Sannin 500 Ryo for the mess they caused and as a little thank you for Naruto. Then they left.
Jiraiya grinned. Maybe he could teach the boy to catch the cat on his own. Then the boy could get even more money. He dreamed of making Naruto a rich boy, with a Harem of willing girls. He began to cackle like a maniac.
Orochimaru and Tsunade paled. Not because Jiraiya was cackling but because Naruto tried to imitate his maternal grandfather. And he was partially succeeding.
"Okay, this is way too creepy for my liking." Orochimaru said and Tsunade nodded. If the boy picked up other traits form his perverted grandfather the end of her world was near. Again she vowed to herself that she would bring up Naruto so that he respected women. And if this goal in her life was threatened by Jiraiya, the old pervert would pay dearly. Not even Sensei Sarutobi would be able to save the man then.
Then Orochimaru remembered why they had come here. "Naruto-kun, we have something for you." he said.
Narutos eyes lit up. He didn't understand completely what Orochi-Ojiji said, but it was the voice he used when he wanted to give him something. Maybe another plush snake. Or a ride on one of his bigger snakes. A week ago he had ridden a snake through the house. It had been fun for the toddler. The snake was agile and went wherever he wanted it to go. And it made funny hissing sounds.
Naruto crawled over to his grandfather with surprising speed.
Orochimaru scooped the little boy in his arms. "Well, little one, your grandparents have a present for you." he began.
Narutos eyes went wide. Present was always a loved word for him. Naruto tried to do Maito Gais trademark 'nice guy pose' with sparkling teeth, thumbs up and yelling "YOSH!" And he was doing fairly well. Well, he didn't say "Yosh!" but "Wosh!" but still. He was good at imitating poses and actions.
Jiraiya nodded sagely. "Never let the boy stay in Gais presence for a prolonged amount of time. He might take a liking to green spandex and orange legwarmers. And he might take over other habits from Gai." he said. And Tsunade and Orochimaru nodded.
Tsunade took Naruto and Orochimaru brought out the ink and brush. Jiraiya took it and began painting a seal on Narutos left upper arm. It was a six-pointed star. On every point was a symbol. Serpent for Orochimaru. Snake for Anko. Toad for Jiraiya. Dog for Kakashi. Slug for Tsunade. Medic for Shizune. Alert stood in the middle of the star.
Little Naruto looked at the picture. He liked it. It was a bit like one of the papers from Inu that always made "BOOM!" And Naruto liked explosions. He was always happy when Inu made one for him.
Jiraiya nodded pleased. Naruto was still too young to understand how the seal worked, they would explain this later. At first they had thought to use a five-pointed star, but Orochimaru had pointed out that such a seal might interfere with the Hakke Shiki Fuin seal. Something they didn't want. It would shoot his Chakra control straight to the ninth circle of hell. And the control would stay there. So they had decided to use a six-pointed seal. At first they had thought that only Anko, Shizune and the three of them would bear such a seal. In the end they had asked Kakashi if he would agree to bear the same seal. And the boy had agreed.
Orochimaru grinned a bit, when he thought of the seal. It was not only a seal for Naruto to call for help, the other 6 bearers of the seal could also call for another bearer for help. It was also useful if they didn't know where Naruto was. They just had to activate the seal to call him home. And if the seal was activated they could easily locate where it was now. And they had decided to let the seal on Naruto until he became Chunin. As a Chunin he should be strong enough to defend himself properly.
Naruto looked at his grandparents. It was just a picture on him that they were giving him?
Tsunade immediately knew that Naruto wanted something more. And in a streak of genius she gave Naruto a new deck of cards she was carrying with herself. Maybe she could teach the little one Poker.
Jiraiya grinned and leaned to Orochimaru. "How are the odds that Tsunade will loose terribly to the little toddler?" he asked.
"No gambler would place any money on Tsunade winning." Orochimaru whispered back.
Tsunade had heard the two men. "Care to repeat this?" she asked the two men.
Both furiously shook their heads. "We said nothing, Tsunade-hime." Orochimaru said.
Tsunade growled. "You better not." she answered.
Then she turned round to her grandson. "Well, little one, how about a game?" she asked. Naruto nodded and Tsunade dealed him and herself five cards. "Now, what do you have?" she asked and showed her cards. A pretty good combination. 4 nines and the Ace of Diamonds.
Naruto mirrored her actions and showed his cards.
Orochimaru and Jiraiya almost died of laughter. 10 of Spades, Jack of Spades, Queen of Spades, King of Spades and the Ace of Spades.
Tsunades face fell. If this had been a serious game she would have lost everything in her possession. With a 4 of a kind she tended to go all in.
Jiraiya roared with laughter. "I can't believe it. Royal Flush of Spades as his first ever hand in Poker! This boy has all the luck Tsunade lacks!" he said while laughing so hard that his sides hurt.
Tsunade couldn't believe it. She intended to try something else out. She took the cards and shuffled them, after this they were played out in 4 rows of thirteen cards. Tsunade and Naruto took again 5 cards each and Naruto had another Royal Flush of Spades.
Tsunade almost had a nervous breakdown. This boy got a Royal Flush of Spades two times in a row. Such a thing did usually never happen. Such luck was almost unnatural.
Shizune came in and saw Naruto with the cards and Tsunades pained expression. And Jiraiya who still laughed his ass off. "What happened here, Orochimaru?" she asked.
The Snake Sannin grinned. "Well, Tsunade gave Naruto a deck of Cards. And apparently he has unnatural luck with them. Two times he got cards and both times it was a Royal Flush of Spades. I'm really interested if this continues for a third time." he told Shizune.
Tsunade had meanwhile dealt the cards for the third time. And the smirk on her face told everything. Whatever she had, she was confident she would win. And Naruto grinned happily.
Tsunade showed her cards. Royal Flush of Diamonds. She grinned like there was no tomorrow.
Naruto lowered his cards and showed the very well known Royal Flush of Spades.
Tsunades face fell and Jiraiya almost choked from laughter. He would really have to teach this kid how to play poker. The boy would make some fortunes if his luck was really this ungodly good.
Shizune sighed. Naruto had beaten Tsunade without even knowing so. This screamed after a remembrance photo. She could show this Tsunade to tease her Boss whenever she liked.
Shizune went in a swirl of leaves while Tsunade was still staring at the 3rd Royal Flush in a row Naruto had managed to draw. This was simply not possible. So much luck couldn't exist in the whole world. It was like luck was against her and for Naruto.
"This is so unfair!" Tsunade said and pouted like a little girl. Losing to a toddler. Her teammates would never let her hear the end of this.
Suddenly there was a flash of light. Shizune stood there with a camera. A second flash followed as she took a photo of Narutos Royal Flush. The young woman grinned. This would make an excellent entry for the family album she was planning. She had more photos of the little Naruto. In years to come she would use it to embarrass the boy with it. Preferably when he invited a girlfriend over.
Weeks passed by, weeks became months and Naruto became two years old. He was a regular guest at the Inuzuka compound. Much to the suffering of whoever had to watch over Naruto and Kiba. When it came to wreaking maximum havoc these two were making professional wreckers green with envy. An annoyed elephant in a porcelain store did less damage.
Tsunade and Tsume pondered killing Kakashi, because he took these two with him whenever there was something to tear down. Wherever a building was destroyed, Naruto, Kiba and Kakashi would be there. And Kakashi sometimes blew up things for them. Much to the joy of these two destruction-obsessed boys.
Another family Naruto visited frequently would be the Hyuga clan. Hinata was a nice, if a bit shy girl and her cousin Neji, who was a year older than Naruto and Hinata was always good for a laugh.
Sometimes Naruto would visit the Nara complex. But he thought it was boring there. Most of the men played Shogi, Go or Chess or they were napping. And the women shouted at them, telling them to do something. "Troublesome." was the most heard comment in this compound. But it was nice if you were searching for a place for a nice long nap.
Sometimes he visited the Yamanaka complex and he was always awed by the flowers.
The Aburame freaked Naruto out a bit. They were quiet, even stoic and they could talk with insects. The last thing was immensely helpful Naruto had to admit. But there was not much fun out there. But they showed him how to make a campfire.
This was another thing that Tsunade regretted that Naruto learned it. He loved fire. Fire and explosions. Sometimes Tsunade asked herself when Jiraiya or her husband had dropped Naruto on his head. Or if he had dropped himself.
Naruto loved visiting the Akimichi complex. Every meal was big and tasteful. And Naruto loved big meals. Tsunade wondered sometimes if Naruto had inherited the fox's gigantic stomach. Because Naruto had managed to consume his living weight in Ramen once. And he attempted it again every time he visited the Ichirakus Ramen Imbiss. Orochimaru swore that Naruto could possibly out-eat an Akimichi.
Naruto often enough visited the Hokage. At an ever unpredictable time. It was until now unknown how Naruto managed to sneak past Anbu guards and a secretary whose abilities to watch over a bureau would make the giant Argus and any ANBU green with envy. He would bolt past these obstacles, barge through the door and greet his favorite old man. "Ojiji! You good?" he would ask.
Tsunade laughed when she thought about the one time, when Naruto had barged in there, and Ibiki Morino had been in there. Ibiki would probably never forget this day. Well, the other Ninjas of Konoha wouldn't let him forget it. Ibiki had glared at the intruder. "Little runt, the Hokage and I have a talk." he had said impatiently. Trying to intimidate the boy.
Narutos response had caught him totally off guard. "Your no scary!" he said to the tall young man wearing a black trenchcoat, a black Bandana who also had a scarred face.
Unfortunately two of the Anbu guards had heard this. And they spread the word that Ibiki couldn't even scare a two years old child. Naturally this had humiliated Ibikis reputation quite a bit. And the Chunin had taken it on him to scare Naruto at least once. But so far he didn't have any luck. You could say trying to scare Naruto became somewhat of Ibikis obsession.
Sometimes Naruto even visited the Uchiha clan. His opinion was somewhat indecisive about them. Naruto liked Itachi, Sasuke and their Mother Mikoto, as well as some others of the Uchiha clan, but Fugaku didn't seem to like him overly much. But Naruto didn't think much about it, it was something Orochi-Ojiji had explained to him. The Uchiha were a clan of geniuses that valued efficiency over everything else. And according to Jiraiya-Ojiji they all had a pole shoved up their asses so far that it made their necks stiff. Orochimaru had added that whoever asked them if they could lose that pole was never seen again.
After this Tsunade forbade these two to tell Naruto bed-time stories ever again. If they didn't comply she had promised massive bodily damage. Really massive damage. Like missing limbs and heads.
They had also explained the seal to Naruto and told him how to activate it.
So far he had to use it when three Inuzuka dogs chased him up a tree. This should teach him to taunt fox-hunting dogs. Orochimaru had come to rescue his grandson. One thing however had him left wondering. How did Naruto run up a tree with a smooth trunk around three meters up. But he figured that three angered hunting dogs were motivation enough to climb a tree. However smooth its trunk was.
Months passed by and it was Hinatas third birthday. The Hyuga were celebrating the birthday of their Main Branch heiress. The same day however Neji was cursed with the Caged Bird Juin.
Later that night, Naruto had asked if he could stay over and Hiashi and Tsunade had allowed it, a man sneaked into Hinatas room. He captured Hinata in a sack.
Unfortunately he woke Naruto up while doing so and Naruto immediately alerted all 6 persons he could while following the man.
Kumogakures ambassador cursed as he saw the little runt coming after him. He would have to dispose of the boy before he could alert people to the happenings.
The Sannin, Anko, Shizune and Kakashi immediately darted off to Narutos position.
When they reached the Hyuga compound and saw the man with the bundle, things were clear. Someone had tried to kidnap a Hyuga child.
Exactly at this moment Hiashi came, Byakugan blazing.
The man looked at the 7 assembled persons. The Sannin, the Hyuga Clan Head, Copycat Kakashi, and two women he didn't know. Against these odds he had no chance of success. Well, he could kill the heiress, but this would only serve to annoy the assembled persons further. "I surrender." he stated, let go of Hinata and stood still.
Orochimaru used a hasty seal to seal off the man's Chakra and then he brought the man to the Torture & Interrogation section of the Anbu.
Naruto and Hinata had been brought back into Hinatas room and a guard watched over them. And Anko had summoned two snakes.
Everyone was happy that this had gone over without severe problems. The fallout would be unpleasant.
The next morning came and Orochimaru had a big bomb. "The captured kidnapper is no one other than Kumos ambassador. He was ordered by the Yondaime Raikage to try and abduct a Hyuga. Kumo is apparently desperately searching for bloodlines. Makes one wonder why they don't go to the Mist and get the bloodline users from there. However, the ambassador sang like a bird. Kumo is screwed now." he told Jiraiya and Tsunade.
Later that day the Sannin were summoned to the Hokage.
Sarutobi looked at his one-time pupils as they entered the office.
"You called for us, Sensei?" Tsunade asked.
Sarutobi nodded. "Yes. I have a problem at hand. Kumo just used the signing of the peace treaty as a cover to try and abduct a Hyuga child. Now I wonder what I should demand from Kumo as a reparation." he stated.
Orochimaru spoke first. "Their Jinchuurikis. And the Yondaime Raikages head." he suggested.
Tsunade sighed. "The Raikages head should suffice." she said
Jiraiya shook his head. "The Raikage is right now a dead man walking. His position in Kumo is unstable. When this comes out, he will be overthrown. Demand that they hand over the Jinchuuriki for Nibi. The girl is only 9 years old right now. Rokubis Jinchuuriki is 16 and I doubt it would be save to have a Tokubetsu Jonin of Kumo running free through Konoha. He could defect at any given moment with critical data." he argued.
Sarutobi nodded his head. "I will do it this way. It saves me lots of trouble. Maybe you could take the girl in?" he suggested.
Tsunade shrugged. "Why not? She can't be worse than Naruto. There is no way in hell that she has his talent for collateral damage. Nor that she has his luck with cards." she stated. "And it would be nice to raise a girl." she added.
The Hokage smirked. He had played Poker with Naruto once. He had, more as a joke, wagered his hat for the last of the 13 games they had made. So far Sarutobi and Naruto had won six times. The last game should decide it. And Naruto had won. So for the rest of the day he had been running around the town and told everyone that he had beaten the Hokage fair and square and that he had won the hat because of this. Orochimaru had laughed so hard this day that he had actually choked. Tsunade had to revive him. And Jiraiya had told his Sensei about Narutos first three Hands in Poker. Sarutobi had then decided that he would never again play Poker against Naruto and wager important things away.
Coming out of his reverie, he nodded. "Yes. I will send my demands to Kumo." the Hokage said and dismissed his students.
Upon returning home, Tsunade immediately prepared a room for their new household member.
Jiraiya went to search for Naruto.
After some minutes he found the boy. He was sleeping next to Anko. Both looked genuinely exhausted.
Shizune sat there too. She smiled at Jiraiya. "Welcome back." she greeted.
Jiraiya nodded. "Hello. Can you tell me why these two are sleeping?" he wanted to know.
Shizune nodded. "Yes. Apparently they wanted to go out to eat something. Unfortunately they couldn't decide which restaurant to visit. Anko was adamant about eating Dango. And Naruto-kun wouldn't eat anything other than Ramen. They argued until they fell asleep." she told Jiraiya.
The old Sennin did a face-fault. Those two were so alike in some matters, it was almost not funny any more. For example were both unable to accept that there were foods that were better than Ramen respective Dango. They would rather kill themselves than admitting this. But he had to tell them something. So he had to wake them. Flashing through hand seals he called out the name of the technique "Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu." A small dragon made of water drenched Anko.
The sleeping girl awoke with a loud "What the fuck?" and jumped up. In the process she kicked Naruto in the side and woke him, too.
Naruto groaned when he was woken by Ankos foot. "That hurt!" he complained. "Troublesome." he added.
Jiraiya, Shizune and Anko sweat-dropped at hearing this. The boy had definitely stayed with the Nara clan for too long.
Jiraiya cleared his throat to gain attention. "Naruto, we have something you need to know." he told his grandson.
Naruto looked at his grandfather. "What's it?" he wanted to know.
Jiraiya grinned. "Come with me and you will find out. Oh and Anko. If you want to take out Naruto to get something to eat, why don't you two go to eat some barbecue? It would quite surely ensure that you get something to eat." he told the drenched girl.
Anko glared at Jiraiya. "The little one shall not be claimed by the evil powers of Ramen. I have to save him from the Ramen side of eating and show him the greatness of Dango!" she exclaimed dramatically.
Naruto glared back at Anko. "I will never leave Ramen. You have to get to know the food of the gods! Then you will never again talk of the vile food called Dango!" he exclaimed while pointing a finger at Anko.
Jiraiya and Shizune watched the two getting into another heated argument, the one trying to convert the other to his or her own food while avoiding being converted to the others food. And this didn't look like an ordinary argument. No it was more a chronic argument, one that wouldn't end before the end of the next decade or the one following it.
After some minutes Jiraiya decided to intervene. "Stop it, you two!" he ordered. "Naruto, come with me, we have something to tell you. Anko, you can come too, seeing as you are almost living here." he said and left, grumbling about immaturity en large.
Anko and Naruto followed, silently vowing to themselves to convert the respective other to their own food.
Tsunade and Orochimaru sat in Minatos study room when Jiraiya, Anko and Naruto entered.
Jiraiya looked at Tsunade tiredly. "They have argued the whole way about the choice of food for the evening." was all he said.
Tsunade and Orochimaru understood immediately. Both had been caught in the crossfire of a Ramen versus Dango argument at least twenty times. And those two would not back down one millimeter from their respective points of view. They gave the term "pig-headed" a new height.
Tsunade had once tried to get Anko to act more mature around Naruto and let him have Ramen.
The next twenty minutes would have sent every demon screaming for its mommy. The fires of hell and the flames of heaven paled in comparison to Ankos wrath. "Never shall I let the vile food called Ramen claim another youngster!" the purple-headed girl had exclaimed. Tsunade gave up after this and just told the two to stop, whenever they were arguing.
Orochimaru hadn't even bothered to demand acting adult from Anko. The girl was a fanatic. He just guided her so she wouldn't follow the path he had followed once.
The Slug Sannin looked at Anko and Naruto. "I have news for you two. Soon there will be a new person living here." she told the two youngsters.
Anko stared wide-eyed at Orochimaru. "Orochimaru-Sensei, you got Tsunade pregnant? I didn't know you still had it in you! Will it be an aunt or an uncle for Naruto?" she wanted to know.
Orochimaru became red. Tsunade started sputtering denials. And Jiraiya almost choked from laughing.
Jiraiya was the first to recover. "No, Tsunade isn't pregnant." he began.
Anko was now really curious. "Well then, what is it? Have you lost your tongue, Ero-Sennin?" Anko demanded.
Jiraiya was a bit annoyed by Ankos title for him. "Don't call me that, Gaki!" he said loudly and vehemently.
Anko grinned cheekily.
And Naruto imitated her. "Ero-Sennin! Ero-Sennin!" he called out and pointed at his grandfather. Unfortunately it was the wrong one.
Orochimaru looked at his grinning grandchild. Then he pointed to Jiraiya. "Anko meant him when she said 'Ero-Sennin.'" he told Naruto.
Naruto nodded like he had known all along and pointed at Jiraiya. "Ero-Sennin" Ero-Sennin!" he yelled.
Jiraiya sighed. His father's son it seemed. He remembered Minato calling him Ero-Sennin more than once. Damn it, he still missed the blonde brat. Still, he couldn't let Naruto get away with this. "Don't call me that!" he demanded in an authoritative tone.
Naruto couldn't care less, he had a new nickname for his grandfather. For some reason he loved to tease people. He loved trickery and pranks. Sometimes the Sannin wondered if this love was an inheritance from the fox. But they couldn't tell for sure, so they decided to see it as a natural trait.
After some minutes of arguing back and forth between Jiraiya and Naruto, Jiraiya ended the argument with a strict "You are not to call me Ero-Sennin, Naruto." and Naruto gave in. His grandfather had talked in his no nonsense voice, the voice he used when he was serious about something.
Tsunade and Orochimaru decided to take up where they had been distracted. "A new person will come to us. A girl from Kumogakure. She is the jailer of the Nibi no Nekomata and she will live with us from now on." Tsunade hastily said. Better to get all facts straight at once or she would have to deal with another round of misunderstandings.
Naruto pondered this. "I will have a sister?" he wanted to know. Anko classified as sister in his eyes. Annoying, often around and always there for him. Shizune was also a sister for him but she was way nicer than Anko.
Tsunade nodded. "Yes. She will arrive in some days. She is nine years old and I expect you to be nice to her. And Anko, she will not move in with you. You might corrupt her." she said.
Anko pouted. "But I wanted to introduce her to the wonders of Yaoi and lesbian relationships later." she said. "Because Nai-chan is too strict." she added.
Tsunade, Orochimaru and Jiraiya sighed. Anko was in the stage many girls seemed to live through around this age. The Yaoi-Fangirl-Stage. Unfortunately she was also exploring bisexuality right now. Add to this her flirtatious and teasing nature and low inhibitions and you got the picture of a slightly nymphomanic girl. She was by no means anything you could call slutty. She was a flirtatious girl who simply liked to explore sex.
Anko grinned at her three mentors. It had been Tsunade who had given her "The Talk" because Orochimaru chose to call in sick at this day. Still he had always been there for her with advice if she should try something with a boy or a girl or if she should rather search for someone else. And Jiraiyas Icha Icha series was a source of amusement and inspiration for her. Sometimes she asked herself why she was still a virgin, but she knew that she had not yet found the person she would make this gift. It should be someone special who would become her first one. She knew that it was maybe a bit strange, but this was the way she felt about this. It would be her decision and her decision only who was worthy in her eyes.
As the three Sannin saw her grin, they knew that Anko had had them. She had led them on. Again. But to their collective defense they could say that you could never be 100 percent sure with Anko. Like the one time when she had dragged a bound and gagged Ibiki home and had declared that she and Biki-chan were to explore the joys of BDSM right now. Tsunade had been scandalized, Orochimaru had simply muttered "Why me?" and Jiraiya had looked at her with a silly and proud grin. Her next words had totally surprised the three adults. "GOT YOU!" she had roared, Ibiki had shaken off his restraints and he had grinned at the three stunned adults. Ankos "Told you, it would work." confirmed that Anko had managed to play a prank on them successfully.
Tsunade came back to the present. "Anyway." she started. "Yugito-chan will be here soon and I expect you all to be on your best behavior! No flirting, teasing or other upsetting of the poor girl! She is sent her as reparation for Kumo's treachery and therefore she will be afraid of the village. Make her feel welcome. She is not at fault for the actions of her home village. Treat her well!" she demanded.
Anko and Naruto nodded.
Jiraiya grinned. "Well, now that this is settled, how about some dinner? I know a good Okonomiyaki Restaurant. Ucchan's if I remember correctly. My treat." he announced generously.
Anko's and Naruto's grin made him pale and fear for his wallet.
"Last one there is a snail!" Anko shouted to Naruto while darting off.
"No fair! Wait!" Naruto yelled and took off after his sister.
Tsunade, Orochimaru, Shizune and Jiraiya followed at a more sedated pace. One day they would have to check Anko's heritage. It seemed impossible that she was not related to Naruto.
End of Chapter 2
Author's Notes: It has been way too long. 3 years for a short chapter. Oh well, life was quite the interference. Back when I started this, I still loved the Naruto fandom and loved the series. Then I grew to despise the fandom, as it is swamped with pointless yaoi, pointless High School AU and loads of bad Super Naruto fanfictions. I really dislike the extreme character bashing. And life itself was annoying too. It can be summed up in: "Life sucks, work sucks, girlfriend does not."
I don't promise any updates anytime soon.
Anyway, I hope you liked it. I decided to let Yugito arrive in the next chapter.
No Omakes this time.
I thank Eisregen, Manowar, Helloween, Emilie Autumn and Queen for inspiring music.