"May Darkness Not Find Me"
by Whisper2AScream

Title: May Darkness Not Find Me
Author: Whisper2AScream
Disclaimer: Once again, Xander, Willow, Giles, Buffy, and the like, are not mine, as much as I may wish they were! They're the brainchildren of the twisted evil genius that is Joss. Also belong to Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox (boo! Hiss!), WB Networks, Kuzui Productions, and such. No infringement intended. Getting nada dinero from this. (Hence the reason I'm employed as a comp. lab rat.) Also, any song lyrics mentioned herein, not mine, they belong to said folks listed alongside them. Anybody else in here, hey, lookee, it's mine! Yay!
Rating: slapping another PG-13 on this one, again, dark horrific content and language
Spoilers: This is a sequel to "I Looked and Saw Only Myself." (And second in the "Souls of Darkness, Souls of Light" trilogy.) Again, alternate 3rd season, with some spoilers, notably references to the Sheriff, err...Mayor. (Sorry, American Gothic reference there to Buck. Heh-heh. Anyone else just itching for a Buffy/AG x-over fic, btw?) Also, "the Pack." amongst other classic Xander eps.
Summary: Sequel to "I Looked and Saw Only Myself", Xander continues to struggle with his inner self, and learns an interesting secret about his past.
Feedback: Gimme a hell yeah! (That's a bigtime yes, btw.)
Notes: This one and the previous ones are the first stories I've focused on Xander. Who would've guessed he could give Deadboy a run for his money in the angst dept.? And I thought the guy was talkative on the show! Expect a wild ride!

I am standing up at the water's edge in my dream,
I cannot make a single sound as you scream.
...this place is so quiet, sensing that storm - Peter Gabriel, Red Rain.

Xander lay on his bed in thought. He could hear his dad yelling downstairs, and winced at the sound of broken glass. Only he couldn't hear the words, it sounded more like a thunderstorm at the beach. Thunder rumbling along the shore, punctuated the crashing waves on the rocks. He got up, and went downstairs. He could hear his mom replying, also angrily. A howling wind answering back. He heard a slap hitting flesh, and his mom cried out. He ran downstairs, his feet barely hitting the steps, only to face a far different scene before him. Instead of his father towering over his mother in a drunken rage, it was himself, intense anger twisting his features cruelly. And it wasn't his mother cowering, bleeding from gathering broken glass, it was Willow, the red blood on her hands and face, matching her red hair. His heart broke at the sight of pain and utter despair evident in her eyes as she turned in his direction. Her blackened eyes stared out of a bruised and scarred face, marred from years of abuse. The other Xander looked at him, and grinned, only it was the grin of a mocking laughing hyena.
"Hey, buddy. Want a drink?" his speech was slurred and husky from liquor as he giggled hysterically and offered the bottle to him. Xander backed away in horror, his eyes wide in fear, and tripped on the step. His foot twisted oddly from under him, and he screamed in pain at his broken ankle. His other self loomed overhead like a bloated red full moon, shadowed behind an eclipse, forever.