Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or the respective characters.
A/N and Warning: Darn these short character allowances for summaries! This is rated T for mild profanity AND mild sexual situations.
Please review! I'll profess my love to you if you do!
Chapter 1: Potty Time
It was a midsummer night. The air was thick and hot. With no clouds in the sky, the full moon shown down upon the scattered tents filled with snoozing dwellers. All was quiet and still. Even the crickets and bull frogs had called it a night. All was quiet, except for one strangely misplaced looking camper among the tents, a rather large camper that could easily be mistaken for a small home had it not been for the gigantic wheels beneath the structure. Groaning and panting ensued in stride with the rhythmic squeaking and thudding, all of which erupted from within the bedroom separated from the remainder of the camper by a mere curtain.
On the bed, within that outrageously lively camper, lie Vegeta, crouched over, his naked ass in clear sight, and a pair of slender naked legs hanging over his well-defined broad shoulders. Matching slender arms snaked around his back, hands raking sharps nails down his sweat-covered skin as he thrust his lower body in quick and steady motions that matched the rhythm of the squeaking, thudding, groaning, moaning, and heavy breathing.
The slender arms and legs were attached to an equally slender and naked body, a body that belonged to none other than Vegeta's lover, mate, and wife; Bulma. The two moaned and screamed their passion as both neared their peak. Sweat poured from both their bodies, creating a sticky film between their flesh as they rubbed against each other in a fit of passion and lust.
Just as Vegeta reached that peak, he closed his eyes and heard the sound of soft whimpering. He smiled arrogantly, chuckling, but his eyes remained closed tightly in his reverie.
"Woman..." Huff. "...did you not reach your climax yet?" Pant. "Is that why you whimper beneath me?"
"No you idiot! That's not me!"
Vegeta opened his dark ebony eyes, gazing down at his mate curiously. She was, in fact, not the one whimpering, as he still heard the sound, but her lips were not moving, nor were they parted.
Bulma's brows furrowed as she snarled under her breath threateningly "GET OFF OF ME NOW VEGETA!"
Typically, Vegeta would have no problem dismounting after he reached his climax, but that was on his own accord. This was different. His woman was demanding he dismount as if she had her way and was finished with him.
"Woman! How dare you..." He was abruptly cut off by one of Bulma's unarguable glares, the one scary enough to whip even the most haughty and strong-willed men, such as Vegeta, into shape.
"Vegeta! Our daughter is in here! She's the one crying! Now GET OFF!"
Without removing himself from within his woman, Vegeta glanced over his shoulder to find his three-year-old daughter standing mere inches from the end of the bed in which he and his mate had just been mid-coitus. She rubbed her eye with a tiny fist, pushing away the tears that had built up there as she sniveled and whimpered, waiting for her parents to take notice and offer comfort.
"VEGETA! GET OFF NOW!"
Vegeta turned back to Bulma, giving her a look that said he was rather perturbed by the disruption. But he was not about to argue with the bloodcurdling human woman. So, Vegeta obligingly removed his slippery member from Bulma's equally saturated insides, grunting and mumbling obscenities as he did. He stood up at the side of the bed, staring blankly at his crying daughter.
"Vegeta! Put some damn clothes on in front of your daughter! For crying out loud!" Bulma hollered as she covered herself with the bed sheet.
Vegeta mumbled a few more undistinguishable complaints before snatching up his sparring shorts and slipping into them.
Bulma sat up quickly, looking concerned.
"What's the matter sweetie?"
Bra sniffled several times before finally speaking in a soft whimpering tone.
"I got to go pee-pee mommy!"
Vegeta was now standing with his arms crossed over his chest, his patience growing shorter by the minute. He was never good at handling these kinds of situations, which had been why he avoided his son Trunks almost all throughout the boy's younger years. Unfortunately, with the birth of his daughter, he found he was not so lucky as to slip away. And although he would never admit to it, he was very fond of his daughter. She was the spitting image of his mate, only much, much more innocent, but she had the same spitfire attitude, even at such a young age.
"Why can't Trunks take you?" Bulma questioned, she too was beginning to look annoyed.
Bra sniffled a few more times before replying, "He's with Goten."
Bulma was absolutely appalled and furious now.
"He's what?! He left you alone in that tent?!"
Bra nodded slowly, wiping more stray tears from her tiny soft cheeks.
Bulma released a long deep sigh before turning to her husband.
"Vegeta, go take your daughter to the bathroom!"
Vegeta's head nearly fell off as he spun to stare at his mate, appalled that she would have the never to request... no... demand that he take the sniveling child to aid her in expelling her human vile waste.
"Why can't she just use the waste-receptacle inside this contraption?"
Bulma rolled her eyes.
"I already told you when we got here, the damned camp-site manager gave us the wrong lot without the septic hook up."
Vegeta's face contorted in frustration.
"Why can't you take the child to release her waste-matter?!"
Bulma's eyes narrowed dangerously.
"Just do it, Vegeta!"
"Daddy!" Bra whined as she danced around with her hands between her crossed legs, "I really got to go!"
"Fine!" Vegeta huffed, reluctantly turning to his daughter as she presented him one of her knee-weakening pouty-faces.
Vegeta drug his feet as he came to his daughter's side. Though he was rather short for a man of his age, he still towered over his tiny daughter. He stared down at her as she gazed back up, holding up a patiently waiting hand. Vegeta sighed once more before taking Bra's tiny hand into his large one. She smiled gleefully, obviously thrilled that her 'daddy' would be the one taking her.
"Hurry up daddy! I have to go potty really bad!" Bra proclaimed as the two walked hand in hand down the poorly lit gravel road.
Vegeta grunted and quickened his pace, but quickening a crawling pace really didn't mean much.
When they arrived at the supposed waste-receptacle housing, Vegeta was absolutely horrified by the sight. There was a single wooden unit, with a strange metal tube protruding from the top in which hundreds of disgusting flies swarmed around the opening.
Vegeta's expression twisted in revulsion as he slowly opened the slimy filth-covered door handle, revealing a sight much worse than he could have ever imagined. Bra too stared inside with a look of terror on her face.
A single filthy, vile, disgusting, and utterly unsanitary waste-receptacle sat center in the small room, releasing a stench that nearly brought tears to Vegeta's eyes. Had his hair not already been standing straight up on end, it certainly would have now.
Bra plugged her nose with her fingers, making her voice nasally as she spoke.
"Daddy! It smells bad!"
Vegeta brought a hand to his mouth, near the brink of vomiting his day's nourishments. He let go of his daughters hand, giving her a gentle nudge on her back, trying to steer her into the filthy human-waste container.
"Hurry up and do what you must, child!"
Bra reluctantly scuttled into the tiny room, still holding her nose. She slowly approached the seat of the toilet and leaned over, gazing down into the seemingly endless pit. Fear entered her being and she quickly spun to face her father, her terror had her eyes welling with water once again.
"Daddy! It's scary! I don't want to go by myself!"
Vegeta's brows furrowed, but as he saw his daughter's eyes swell with tears, his features softened, at least as much as they possibly could after years of scowling.
"You'll be fine," he choked the words out as he felt his own stomach bile rise to his throat. The stench of the structure labeled 'outhouse' was maddening. He wished more than anything to just take the girl to a bush... or anywhere but there... and make her pop a squat. He knew better though. The child would not be so willing, and if his mate found out, she'd certainly have his head for it.
"But Daddy! I'll fall down the big scary hole!"
"No you won't!"
"Daddy! I really got to go!"
"Please Daddy! I'm scared!"
Now the tears were flowing full force, and it was clear the sobs were soon to follow.
Unable to bear the sight and sound of his baby girl in distress, Vegeta finally stepped inside the dreaded outhouse, fighting back the bodily urges to retch.
Just as he closed the door, leaving him and his daughter alone in the creepy, dark, and dank room, Vegeta discovered he was too late.
"Daddy?" Bra called out softly.
"What?" Vegeta asked impatiently as he struggled to remove his daughter's shorts with only the light of the moon shiny through a tiny plastic window.
"I don't have to go anymore."
Vegeta stopped fiddling with the buttons on Bra's shorts.
Bra shifted uncomfortably.
"I peed my pants."
"You what?" Vegeta asked calmly, trying to keep cool, despite how badly he wanted burst at the fact that he had just been forced into such a disgusting predicament for nothing. He prayed that he misheard, or misunderstood his daughter.
"I... I wet my pants, Daddy!"
Nope, he had not misunderstood. She said exactly what he did not want to hear.
"Yes Daddy?" Bra's voice quivered as she spoke, clearly on the verge of bawling again, her father's deepening voice frightening her.
"Why did you do that?"
"I couldn't hold it any longer, Daddy!" Bra whined.
Yet another long and dramatic sigh passed through Vegeta's lips as he took his daughter's hand, leading her out of the filthy stink-hole.
The walk back to their camper was rather long and mostly silent. Vegeta wore his typical stern and annoyed expression, while Bra stared up at him shamefully.
Just before they reached the camper, Bra stopped, letting go of Vegeta's hand. He too stopped, looking down at her curiously.
"Daddy, I'm sorry," Bra whimpered, her blue eyes glistening in the moonlight as they filled with tears. "Are you mad at me?"
Vegeta smiled, actually smiled, though it was faint, it was definitely there. He bent down, bringing his face closer to his daughter's.
"I'm not mad. Your mother will take care of things, so don't cry."
Bra's face lightened slightly as she smiled up at her father.
Vegeta took her hand again, and guided her inside the camper.
Bulma sat up from her spot on the bed, setting down the schematic of one of her latest inventions she had been reviewing. She smiled, pleased to see the two had returned, and apparently successfully, or at least she thought so until she saw the saddened expression upon her daughter's face.
"What's wrong Bra?"
Vegeta spoke out for her.
"The child released her liquids into her garments."
Bulma closed her eyes, repeating calming phrases in her head like a mantra before she spoke.
"Why did you bring her all the way back here to tell me, rather than cleaning her up first?"
Vegeta looked appalled.
"I'm not bathing the child!"
Bulma massaged her temples, trying desperately to push away the headache that Vegeta always seemed to cause.
"Just take her to the stream behind our camper and start cleaning her up. I'll get some fresh clothes for her and be out in a minute."
Vegeta opened his mouth to protest, but ceased as he felt the heat of his mate's deadly gaze upon him. He grunted, and turned to once again to take his daughter outside.
Bulma shook her head in pity as she watched her alien husband leave, dragging his feet pathetically, pulling along their precious daughter by the hand.
"What was I thinking when I slept with him the first time?" she asked herself aloud as the door to the camper slammed shut. She couldn't deny though, the fact that their daughter loved Vegeta more than anything, even more than her most likely, and he clearly, although would never admit it to anyone but Bra, loved her just as dearly.
Outside, Vegeta led Bra to a small stream, filled with crystal clear running water. He released her hand, crossing his arms over his chest, and stared down at the reflection of the moon in the water as he tried to determine his plan of action to cleanse his daughter.
"Daddy?" Bra whispered as she tugged at one of the legs of Vegeta's spandex shorts. He turned to her, gazing down in question.
"What was that... that thing you had?"
Vegeta gave a puzzled look.
"What are you talking about, child?"
"When you and mommy were in bed. I saw a thing on you that me and mommy don't have. What was that?"
Vegeta was only more puzzled. He could not comprehend his child's feeble vocabulary.
Bra looked rather flustered. "It came out of there!" she proclaimed as she pointed a finger at Vegeta.
Vegeta gazed down at the finger, finding that it was pointing clearly to his crotch. He realized what she spoke about. He had stood up without clothing on after his mating session with Bulma, leaving his nether regions completely exposed to his daughter's virgin eyes. Now, to a normal father, this moment would have been very disturbing and uncomfortable, but for Vegeta, it was merely a minor inconvenience, but only because it required him to provide a simple enough explanation for his feeble-minded child.
"That's a seed vessel."
Bra's face twisted and contorted as she struggled to make sense of her father's words.
"Yes, a seed vessel."
"What's that for?"
"Ceasing your mother's incessant nagging."
Despite her agreeing statement, Vegeta was certain Bra had no idea what he was talking about. With the conversation seemingly at its end, Vegeta scooped up his daughter just beneath her arms and knelt down beside the stream, dipping her into the water.
"Daddy!" Bra exclaimed, surprised at the abrupt rush of cold water. "It's cold!"
"Thank your mother for that. She insisted that we cleanse you."
Bra pouted as her father began to lift her out of the water, then dunk her lower half back in again, repeating the motion as if it were really that effective.
"VEGETA! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"
The sudden and unexpected outburst of his mate from behind him sent Vegeta toppling forward into the water. He was just barely capable of holding Bra up and out above his head so as not to submerge her. His face fell beneath the water, crashing against the rocks lining the bottom of the stream. He quickly forced himself to his knees, choking and sputtering in the process.
Bra giggled gleefully at the amusing sight. Water dripped from Vegeta's drenched hair as the pointed tips fell forward, dangling in front of his frowning face.
"Damn it woman! Don't sneak up on me like that!"
He spun around to meet the equally angry gaze of his wife as she stood at the side of the stream, hands on her hips, a pair of shorts at her feet in the grass.
"Are you really this dim-witted, Vegeta?" she howled. "Are you seriously incapable of washing our child? You're so useless!"
Vegeta now stood to his feet, facing his wife and setting Bra down in the water beside him, holding her hand in his as she stomped around excitedly, splashing in the water.
"What are you talking about, woman? You asked me to wash the child, so that's precisely what I am doing!"
Bra continued to giggle excitedly as she knelt down as far as her father's hand would allow, scooping her free hand into the cool water and splattering it onto Vegeta's legs.
"Just submerging her in the water with her dirty shorts on is not going to clean her!" Bulma snarled. "Take her shorts off and wash them separately!"
Vegeta ignored the tugging at his arm as his daughter tried desperately to free herself for more access to her newly discovered delight. Right now he was more interested in quieting his irritating wife.
"Would you be quiet?! Damn woman, stop with your damned incessant nagging for once!"
Bra suddenly stopped tugging at her father's hand and perked up. She turned to her mother with a condescending look on her face.
"Mommy, you better do what Daddy says, or he's going to use his seed vessel on you again!"
Bra turned to her father, gazing up at him with a bright and proud smile. He gazed down at her, a little taken aback, but thoroughly impressed. Bulma, however, was absolutely flabbergasted.
"What... did you just say?" Bulma spoke slowly, trying to rethink what she though she heard her three-year-old daughter say.
Bra put her hands on her hips and turned again to her mother.
"Daddy said he will use his seed vessel to stop your nag... nagging!"
Bulma's jaw dropped nearly to the grass at her feet.
"Vegeta! What the hell are you telling our daughter?!"
Vegeta pushed his dripping locks of ebony hair back from his face, giving his mate a haughty smirk.
"You heard the child!"
Bulma shook her head several times in shame. She was not hearing this, that's all she had to tell herself.
"Just shut up and give me her shorts. I'll clean them while you clean her!"
Vegeta chuckled, earning amused giggles form his daughter as she gazed up at him. He knelt down in the water and began fiddling with her shorts buttons.
"Damn these things," he murmured as he struggled to free the first of four buttons.
Bulma's impatience, along with her disgust in her husband's teachings, finally overflowed.
"Get out of the way!" she hollered as she stomped over to the water's edge, bending down to push Vegeta's hands away and easily release the buttons and thus the shorts, then removing her panties, leaving a bare-bottomed happy girl to splash at her father's side.
Bulma stomped off several feet further down the stream, kneeling down in the grass to scrub the soiled clothing in the stream.
Vegeta gazed down at his daughter, unsure what to do next. She giggled and stomped her feet, making more small splashes that had her easily amused. Vegeta knelt down once more, this time picking up Bra by her tiny waist. She giggled and squirmed in his hands as he forced her naked bottom under the water.
After Bulma finished scrubbing Bra's shorts and panties clean, she stood up and made her way to where Vegeta sat crouched down in the water. With his back to her, and only the faint light of the moon shining down, she could not quite make out what he was doing until she was at the water's edge behind him. She really should not have been surprised by the sight she found, but then again, it was always impossible for her to understand her husband's lack of common sense.
Vegeta held Bra by the waist and merely swished her back and forth through the water. Although this was very amusing to Bra, it was not so amusing to Bulma.
"VE-GE-TA!" Bulma growled with increasing boisterousness.
Vegeta glanced over his shoulder.
"What?" he growled.
"Just give her to me!"
Vegeta grunted in annoyance before standing and handing over Bra. Bulma snatched her from him, giving him a reprimanding look as she set Bra back into the water again. She reached behind her for a small towel she had brought out and began scrubbing her daughter's nether regions.
"Just go inside, Vegeta," Bulma mumbled.
Satisfied that he could finally get some rest, Vegeta turned to leave without a reply.
"Wait! Daddy!" Bra called out from her seat in the shallow water.
Vegeta turned to his daughter. She held her arms out above Bulma's shoulders, reaching towards Vegeta.
"I want a hug and kiss goodnight!"
Vegeta shifted uncomfortably and Bulma watched him over her shoulder. He absolutely detested showing signs of affection even in front of his mate, but he could never deny his daughter her any request. He slowly trudged back towards the stream, bending down and allowing his daughter to wrap her arms around his neck as he placed a hand gently on her small back.
"Goodnight, Daddy!" she called out as she gave Vegeta a wet kiss on his cheek. He gave her a quick sweet kiss on her forehead, mumbling "Goodnight," as if Bulma could not hear even though she sat crouched directly beside him.
A smile spread across Bulma's face as she watched Vegeta leave and turned to see her daughter's bright smiling face.