Chapter 33: Much More Left To Say

Hi again! I must say I was never fond of these last few chapters. I can still remember the writer's block. Honestly, I'm too lazy and too busy with other things to go back and fix this story and rid it of the many plot holes. Maybe one day I will get back into this story and really fix it up. But no promises. haha.

Disclaimer: I have no claim over anything to do with the "Inuyasha" manga or anime. This includes the anime series, and the movies. This story is for entertainment only, and no copyright infringement is intended in any case. Copyright over "Inuyasha" belongs to the creator Rumiko Takahashi.

It's only been a couple days since you left the gang, and now the only thing you seem to be doing is walking. Walking and following the path of a certain demon. Even though it's been a couple days, you bet you haven't said more than two words to each other. Seriously. You've hardly even bothered to look at him this whole time. But hey, you're not complaining. And anyways, it's not like you need anyone to talk to, you were on your own for months just a while ago, and you did all right being all alone.

However, you do have someone to talk to that isn't such a jerk in your opinion. You've got Rin to talk to, and she does indeed talk. Even though it's only been a while, you've come to know Rin even more. She is really such a sweet young girl, always carefree and always happy, unlike her other companions.

That's something you find yourself thinking every now and then. What is Sesshomaru doing with a young human girl as a travel companion? Last time you saw him he was the epitome of cold, heartless bastards! Back then, all he really cared about was himself and his "honor". Well, can't say that he's changed, can you?

Then again, didn't everyone tell you that he was the one that saved you from the ruins of Naraku's castle? But why? Why would he care what happened to you? Especially after Naraku had captured you in the midst of a fight you were having with him, and you really don't see Sesshomaru as that forgiving. You had been sure that if you were to be saved at all from Naraku, it would have been because of Inuyasha and his friends, not this guy.

Scratch that, you just admitted to yourself that you needed saving! What could have reduced you to having to think such things? What could have reduced you to the weak and pathetic form you are now?

You hate to admit it, but when those human villagers called you the "Black Goddess", you had obviously been amazingly powerful and strong. Nothing could stop you, no one could tell you what to do. You did as you pleased. That is, until that Naraku came along and deceived you. But in your opinion, he doesn't count.

Nonetheless, only a short while ago you had been so strong that humans and demons alike feared crossing your blood-stained path, not that you're one to brag, but now look at yourself! You're as weak as an ordinary human! You're so weak that Naraku betrayed you, even though you did go back on your word, but still, he showed his true colors because you became so weak, and you did not like what you saw.

And now, you're so weak that you are reduced to following Sesshomaru around like a pathetic servant, forced into his blackmail.

You look up at him in front of you, walking his way through the forest to who knows where, and all you can do is follow. You have to wonder how the rest of his companions can take following him blindly everywhere.

'Great, I sure do love to seethe.' You think. 'This guy is driving me crazy!'

You've thought often about just waiting until his guard is down and then simply jumping him, then taking your pendant and running away, but that would be way too rash, and way too stupid. And besides, it's not like he ever lets his guard down, he's like a damn hawk! And in your current state, where you can't even run full speed, he could easily take you down and crush any ideas that you might have of repeating an attempt against him.

You don't want to admit it, but you're pretty much stuck.

But that's what this is all about, and the only reason that you are following him at all, for your necklace, you have to keep reminding yourself that.

But why? It's just a piece of jewelry! It makes you feel so stupid! Risking your neck for a dumb pendant! Why do you always have to go do stupid things just because you are so damn determined to get it back?

Well, there's the part where your parents told you to always keep it with you, and how important it is and all that good stuff, but you lost it 200 years ago, and when you were revived, you were still just as strong as if you still had it, goddess powers intact and everything. Then all of a sudden, they fade away, but why? Why? If you could be so strong without your necklace, why are you weak now?

'Talk about fair.' You think sarcastically.

That's when you feel like you've walked headlong into a wall, except that it's not a wall. Unless a wall can have long silver hair. Well, shit.

For some reason, Sesshomaru just stopped, leaving you free to walk straight into his back, which includes his armor, and it sure is called armor for a reason as it pushes you back and you almost fall over except Ah-Un happened to be right behind you and you ran into him.

"Watch it!" You yell at him, mostly out of instinct, even though it angers you that you had to actually talk to him again. Your stubbornness only allows you about 2 words a day to converse with him and now you just used them up. However, the only thing he does is glare behind him at you, simply acknowledging your existence if anything at all, and then he calmly lifts his head out in front of him.

"Rin. Stay here." He says.

You know that he's sniffing something out, especially when, for no good reason to you, he jumps into the air and passes through the thickness of the trees and out of sight.

"What the hell?" You ask no one, totally confused. Sesshomaru can sure be random at times, and unpredictable as well.

You hear Ah-Un grunt and Rin jumps off of him and runs over to you. "Don't worry, Lady Akaria! Lord Sesshomaru does this all the time, mostly to go after that Naraku man!" She tells you happily, as if Naraku was just a friend that Sesshomaru went to visit all the time to go have drinks or something.

"Oh, ok then." You say. "Well, now what?" You ask her as if you were the child and she was the older one.

"We have to stay here now until Lord Sesshomaru gets back." She tells you as she begins to walk around back and forth, gathering sticks. She lays them together in an organized pile and then takes off Ah-Un's muzzle and then simultaneously, Ah-Un's right mouth shoots out a blaze of blue light, and the wood instantly catches fire.

"That's handy." You comment as Rin finds some mushrooms not far off that she can eat. You notice Jaken sit down beside Ah-Un and begin to rest while Rin begins to roast her food.

You walk over to her, slowly and warily approaching the fire, but when you realize that you're just being stupid and you know that you have to get used to fires, you sit down, feeling like you want to smack yourself. You can't be afraid of fire! You're the Goddess of the Sun for goodness' sake!

You sit down and watch Rin. "You sure can take care of yourself really well for one so young." You state.

She nods. "I've had to since I was really little, my parents and brothers were killed by bandits when I was younger. I still have dreams about it." She says, and for the first time, you see a sad misery in her eyes and hear it in her voice.

"Oh, dear, I'm really sorry." You tell her.

"It's ok, I'm with Lord Sesshomaru now."

"Hmm, how did you meet him?" You ask curiously.

"I found Lord Sesshomaru hurt in a forest once and I tried to help him, but then I was killed by wolves, but Lord Sesshomaru brought me back to life." She tells you.

"With his sword." You muse offhandedly and she nods. "Well, I never thought I would see the day, but Sesshomaru does seem to care about you." You tell her.

You sit and lean back, your hands holding you up. "Ok then, so now what, Rin?" You ask bemusedly.

"We wait here until Lord Sesshomaru gets back!" You hear Jaken say from the other side of the fire.

"Hey I thought you were asleep!" You shoot back. "And anyways, you can't be serious! He can't expect us to just sit here, can he?" You ask, surprised. Well, sort of.

You look to Rin and she just looks back and nods. "Lord Sesshomaru always asks us to stay where he leaves us."

You stand up and put your hands on your hips and smile mischievously. "Well, that's no fun at all. Hey, Rin, do you want to go do something?" You ask.

She hesitates for a second before finally giving in and she stands up with you eagerly. "Ok!"

You take her hand and begin to walk off into the forest, but Jaken stops you. Or attempts to. "That's not a good idea! Lord Sesshomaru will be very angry!" He says worriedly.

You roll your eyes. "He won't notice, and besides, Rin is just a small child, she needs to have some fun, and I'm just plain bored." You say and then walk off past him without hearing another word of what he says, your nose in the air, but a smirk on your face.

You and Rin walk a ways, until you come across a good sized stream rushing through the forest. You let go of Rin's hand and then calmly place your feet in the edge of the stream, letting the cool water rush over your feet.

"Come on Rin! The water is great!" You call to her as she watches you. She smiles excitedly and rushes over to join you.

You both watch the water as small fish slink by the both of you, causing Rin to squeal happily and you to laugh as well. You then get an idea and slowly put your hands in the water while Rin is looking away and then you splash her with a wave of water, making her shriek and nearly jump. You can't hold back your laughter.

"Lady Akaria!" Rin giggles.

"Sorry Rin, I had to do it." You shrug innocently.

"Very funny! I see how it is!" She says and you brace yourself.

"Wait Rin! Wait! I'm sorry! I-" You can't talk anymore as you get a splash of water all over your face. You wipe the water out of your eyes.

"Let the water fight begin!" You yell and then take as much water as you can and splash it all over her as she does the same to you.

Soon you both find yourselves in an all out water war. You're both drenched beyond reason, but you both can't hold back your laughter. Suddenly you trip over a wet rock and find yourself landing in the stream on your back. Rin can't help but point and laugh at you, but she quickly stops, thinking she hurt your feelings.

"Are you all right, Lady Akaria?" She says concerned.

You hide your head and your wet hair streams over your shoulders. Rin gets worried, thinking that you're crying, but she soon sees that she's wrong as you let out a huge laugh and then begin to splash Rin all over again.

"What are you worried about, silly?" You tell her, laughing even more, starting the battle again.

After a while, you notice that the sun is beginning to set, the sky is changing to a deep orange, and the shadows of the forest are elongating. You know it's time to head back before his royal pain gets back.

"Oh dear, Rin, I think it's time we headed back before we're missed." You tell her and then pick her up out of the water. You take off your kimono and hers, leaving you both in your thin yukatas. You take the kimonos that are covered in dirty water and mud and then quickly wash them so that they can dry better. You take them in your hand, and then take Rin's hand with your other hand and begin to return to the camp, you both smiling, even though your jaws are aching, but you're still happy.

After a while of walking, the sun fully sets and the moon begins to replace it, you know your hair and eyes have changed as well. You pass through the bushes and enter the camp once again, the fire that Rin had left was still blazing, but still in check. Everything was as you had left it, except for the added entity sitting by the fire, waiting your return, but he couldn't be any less happy.

You roll your eyes and shake your head, barely acknowledging Sesshomaru at all, but he notices you.

He looks over to the both of you, but mostly you, his face impassive, but you know that his eyes are what show his true emotions, and you bet that his eyes could set the forest on fire.

"Did you enjoy yourselves?" He asks the both of you, but Rin remains silent. You smile cleverly.

"Yes, thank you. We had a wonderful time." You smirk, but it is thoroughly wiped from your face as you find yourself slammed into a tree with a seismic force, the mere impact of it makes the forest shake. You choke for air as a hand strangles you, holding your throat from receiving any air. Your eyes begin to widen as you grab onto his wrist to try to push him off and gain some air, but you can't even speak, you just make choking sounds against his hand, you feel your feet leave the ground. You look straight at him and see that his eyes have become red. Talk about mood swings.

"Lord Sesshomaru! Please don't hurt Lady Akaria!" You hear Rin's voice and you instantly feel guilty. You know you're the one that convinced her to go to the stream and leave the camp, but she's still defending you. Sesshomaru seems to notice as his eyes soon change back to their normal gold and he drops you, letting you fall in a heap against the tree, holding your throat and trying to force air into your lungs, all the while, Sesshomaru stares down at you as if you're just some poor miserable trash that he had to take along, watching as you try to steady your heart rate again.

You look up at him. "Never disobey me." He says and then leaves you to go back to where he had been before.

You stare at him and give him a look that just says "Have you had too many head injuries in your life?" as Rin rushes over to you.

"Are you all right?" She asks you. You sigh and smile gently at her.

"Yep! I'm just fine! Don't worry about it!" You say in a happy tone, standing up and then gently picking Rin up, lifting her on your hip and taking her over to Ah-Un, laying her down.

"It's time for you to get to sleep." You tell her. "It's getting late and you need to rest." You smile.

She returns the smile, completely forgetting her worries of earlier. "Ok." She yawns, further evidence that she is indeed tired.

You smile and sit next to her small form and tuck some loose hair behind her ears, gently rubbing her back to get her to sleep. You don't know why you are acting like a mother would, but you sort of feel like you should, and it makes you feel rather good inside. You stay next to her for a while, just watching her, her shoulders rising up and down as she breathes. While comforting her you notice that her breathing pattern changes. She's fallen asleep.

You close your eyes and sigh, but you're far from falling asleep. You hear Ah-Un grunt at you and you pat its heads and then lean back on its side.

You look up at the moon, out of reach of the fire, and you sigh again. You look down and notice that Sesshomaru is looking at you, something you didn't expect. You stare back, your face just as unfeeling, holding all your emotions inside you. For several seconds you both just stare at each other across the fire, looking into each other's eyes, his gold, yours emerald green, but you're the first to end the staring contest as you look away, closing your eyes. You open them and then look back at him to see if he is still staring at you, but he isn't, he's looked away as well, his eyes closed, resting.

You think for a second, gathering your thoughts, your eyes darting back and forth, looking in all directions, and you figure you might as well.

You quietly lift yourself up off of Ah-Un, making sure that you don't wake Rin, or Jaken you suppose, and you walk to the other side of the fire. You know that he notices you, but he acts like he doesn't. You didn't expect anything else of him.

You stand right in front of him, and look down at him as he is still persistent in not acknowledging your presence directly in front of him. You lean down and then sit right in front of him so that if he does open his eyes, which you greatly doubt as it is, the first thing he will see is you. You take a deep breath, not too loud, but loud enough so that if his ears were not as keen, he would be able to know that you were trying to obtain his attention. That's when you say something incredibly difficult for you to say, especially to him.

"I'm sorry."