Disclaimer: I don't own Prince Caspian, but I wish I did. Ben Barnes is such a hottie! Lol!
Author note: I originally decided to write this story as a one-shot after feeling my first one was too short, a bit rushed, and didn't go into the relationship between Caspian & Susan with enough detail, although once I figured how the ending to this story was going to turn out I knew I couldn't just leave the way it was. Once you get to the ending, you'll be glad I'm not making this story a one-shot. I hope that this fan fiction is better than my last one.
Chapter One: Midnight Desires
Susan Pevensie opened her blue eyes for what she thought was the thousandth time on this very cool night in Narnia. Letting out yet another exasperated sigh, she finally drew back soft, snow white bed covers and giving up any hopes of going sleep tonight. She could say that the royal feast and celebration of winning the battle for peace in Narnia from earlier that evening was keeping her awake, but it would be a lie. To be honest, the last thing Susan could think about right now was their victory or her deprivation of sleep. Instead, her thoughts kept turning to Narnia and wondering how much longer she and her siblings would be staying there. The young woman knew it was only a matter of time now before Aslan would be returning them to England. The Kings and Queens of Old had helped Prince Caspian defeat his uncle, King Miraz, and brought peace back to Narnia–just like her magical ivory horn had summoned them here to do. Their royal duties had been fulfilled and all was now right within the mystical land.
After looking out through an open window to observe the bright, shining stars and full moon for a few moments, Susan began to shiver from the cold air. The queen grabbed her sky blue robe that was lying on the end of her bed and put it on to help warm her up. She returned to the window and looked out into the blackness of the night, wishing this feeling of staying in Narnia permanently would just disappear. She didn't want to get attached to the only place her heart called home because she knew that her stay there wasn't going to last much longer. Narnia was a dream of a dream and Susan would eventually wake up from it and go back to normal life of attending school and getting a part-time job. In the bottom of her heart, she was glad to be back, but it hurt so much to admit it–even to herself. After not being in Narnia for a year, she had finally started getting used to her life in England again and then all of this happened. It was a brilliant and exhilarating experience to be a part of just like was the last time she had been in Narnia, but like all dreams…they never last forever because ultimately you do wake up from them.
Whether it was a minute or a year later, Susan couldn't have cared less when she finally managed to walk away from the window. She scanned her guest room in Caspian's castle, memorizing every detail about it until her wandering blue eyes came across Edmund's half-broken flashlight and wondered why it was in her room until she remembered that he had accidentally left it in here when he came to "check on her" before everyone else went to bed. Susan walked over to the wooden desk and picked her younger brother's silver flashlight. She stared at the object for several seconds and then turned it on after deciding to take a late night walk to clear her head. The brunette quietly opened the door to her room with the flashlight shining low to ground so it wouldn't wake anybody up and walked to the first place she thought to go.
The short distance from her bedchambers to the castle's courtyard only took a couple of minutes for Susan to walk to. She was grateful that no one was up at very late hour because it was a chance for her to say a proper goodbye to her heart's homeland without anyone else to disturb her. Even in the dark, Narnia was still the most beautiful place to see. In the courtyard, the small birdbath had fresh water from a nearby stream in it for all the colorful birds in the early morning when the sun rises, the green grass was cut perfectly and felt cool against Susan's bare feet, and the 40-foot stone statues of the great Telmarine war heroes from previous centuries which were each holding flame-lit torches for light that all lead to a long, stone bench in the center of the courtyard. Staring at the sparkling midnight sky intently, Susan let out a sigh of deep sorrow as she bowed her head.
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come out here after all, she thought to herself.
"Why must all good things eventually come to an end, Aslan?" Susan asked as tears began to well up in her crystal blue eyes. "If I am living in this magnificent dream, then why can I not just stay here in Narnia?"
She had finally said the truth out loud with no one else to hear it and began to cry. Narnia was her home–her real home–and soon she would be leaving it all behind. It wasn't fair. In England, she was just like any other ordinary girl walking down the street to go home after a long day at school, but here she was a crowned queen. The sensible, expert archer was younger sister to High King Peter the Magnificent and a brave warrior in the battle for bringing peace back to Narnia. No one in England would ever know of all the glory she and her siblings gained from this wondrous land. Once a queen of Narnia, always a queen of Narnia, but that was only in Narnia. Even though her archery skills may never fade, Susan knew her royal status would once again be stripped away as soon as she walked back into "her" world just like last time.
Unbeknownst to her, a dark figure slowly came walking out to the courtyard and could disjointedly hear the Queen of Old Narnia talking to herself with the utmost sadness in her sweet voice. Susan suddenly heard the sound of footsteps coming from behind and turned around to see who was there, shining Edmund's half-broken flashlight at the shadowy figure.
"Caspian?" the 1300-year-old queen whispered out to the young and handsome Telmarine prince, surprised to see him awake at this time of night as well. Before she cast the flashlight down to the ground so that it was no longer glaring in his eyes, Susan noticed that he was dressed in his usual long-sleeved, cotton white shirt and black pajama pants. "What are you doing out here?"
"I was about to ask you the same question," he replied back to her quietly, his Telmarine accent was as irresistible for her to hear as ever.
Despite their "enormous" age difference, Caspian had felt strong sparks of chemistry between them from the very first moment they laid eyes on each other. They had only known each other for about a month now, but in that short amount of time the attraction between them grew immensely. Most people would call it a crush or puppy love, but Caspian knew better because had never felt this way about another girl before. Stealing glances from her whenever he could, Caspian could've stared at her beautiful face for rest of his existence. Fondly remembering the time when Susan was trying to teach him how to shoot an arrow properly with his black crossbow, his rich brown eyes were pinned her the entire time, finding it tremendously difficult to concentrate on what she was saying with her body standing so close to his. Caspian then painfully remembered watching Susan leave Aslan's How in anger after he almost released the White Witch from her captivity because he wanted revenge on his corrupt uncle who had murdered his father in his sleep and to rightfully take back his throne. It was a selfish act, but he learned from it quickly and promised himself to never take action through his hate again. He was afraid that he lost his chance with Susan after the incident, but when seeing her face light up after he rescued her from the Telmarine soldier in the forest, his dimmed hope began to brighten again and thought there could be a future of them if they were both willing to take the risk.
Walking a few steps closer to Susan, Caspian immediately noticed the glistening tears in her striking blue eyes. It instantaneously broke his heart to see the girl who had captured it so easily was crying. "Susan," he said her name ever so softly with concern etched in his voice. "Why are you crying?"
The brunette quickly wiped the tears from her eyes with her free hand and tried to maintain her posture in front of him. She, too, had felt sparks between them, but remained more rational with her romantic feelings for him. Susan's attraction to the young and handsome man was obvious–especially to her siblings–but the entire time they were working on strategies for their attack against Miraz or fighting on the battlefield, her thoughts were concentrated on nothing else except their goals. Helping Caspian win back his throne and restoring peace in Narnia was what she and others were brought here to do, but what now? Susan suddenly realized that there was nothing in her way from interacting with Caspian anymore, however she didn't want to get attached to the handsome prince just as she had with rest of Narnia. It would be too painful to lose another piece of her heart when she was finally forced to leave and return to England. So much had already happened between the two of them, that was true, but Susan wanted to believe that it wasn't too late for her to just back away and forget about him while her heart could still handle letting him go.
"It's nothing," she brushed off his question with a hint of bitterness in her tone of voice. "I just couldn't sleep, so I came out here to clear my head." She spoke half-truthfully, however, from the look in his eyes, Susan could tell that Caspian didn't believe her. He knew her well enough now to know when she was lying. Something was troubling her thoughts and he wasn't going to let her leave his presence until she told him what it was.
"You're in a courtyard all by yourself in the middle of the night with tears in your eyes, so I know that it's not 'nothing.' Something's on your mind and that's why you're out here tonight. Tell me what's bothering you."
A part of Susan wanted Caspian to leave her alone and never lock eyes with her again, but deep down inside she knew that it was impossible. He had become her ally in their quest for peace and he proved how much he really did care about her when he rescued her in the forest just hours earlier. Trying to make up a lie to him would be as fruitless as trying to hide something from her own brothers–not that she saw him in that way. Caspian was a part of her life–at least for now anyways–and he would keep hammering her for the real reason Susan was out here until she finally gave into his demand.
"Aslan will be sending me and the others back to our world soon and I don't know if or when we'll return to Narnia again." She bluntly admitted the truth to him as his dark brown eyes widened from her unexpected answer. Susan looked away from him as she spoke her words, clicking off Edmund's flashlight as she set it and herself down on the stone bench.
"Why would he send you back?" Caspian questioned her as he walked even closer to her, making her feel slightly uncomfortable with just a small gap between them. "This is your home. You and your bothers and sister are the Kings and Queens of Old. You cannot leave after everything that's happened now. You belong here with us in Narnia."
"We've had to depart from Narnia once already," she reminded him with irritation in her tone this time, looking up into his eyes angrily. "Aslan is going to eventually make us return to our world again. I know it's only a matter of time now because the fight is over and you will become King of Narnia tomorrow at your coronation. Peter, Edmund, Lucy, and I have all done what we were summoned to do by you calling us here with my horn and now we must go back. We leave when we're no longer needed in Narnia anymore and we don't return–at least not until the next time we're needed again. That's the way Aslan's wants it to be because he believes we truly belong in England."
"And what do you want?" Caspian asked her while Susan couldn't help but notice that his voice was becoming more intense every single time he spoke to her; the only light illuminating their faces was the fire from the torches all around the courtyard.
"It's not in my hands to decide what I want because I'm not the one holding the cards here. We don't always get to make the choices that we want. Sometimes our paths are chosen for us and it's our responsibility to follow them, to learn what we can from those experiences and move on with the rest of our lives."
"I do not believe that." Caspian sat down beside her and grabbed both of her hands with his. "You always have a choice, Susan. It's your life and you should live it the way you want to. If you want to stay here in Narnia, then that's what you should do. Don't let Aslan or anyone else tell you how to live your life. You need to make your own choices; otherwise you'll never find true happiness."
Susan was surprised by his intenseness, but was still able to find her voice to reply back. "I'm afraid it's not that simple."
"Yes," he countered as his face unconsciously drew closer to hers. "It is."
"I'm not from here, and we both know that. Even though I peacefully ruled Old Narnia with my siblings for many years, that was centuries ago and I'm really only a 16-year-old girl outside of this world."
"Then let Narnia be your world to live in!" Caspian's voice began to get loud and desperate with his impatience, but quickly calmed back down when he remembered the time of night and that everyone else in the castle was sleeping. "Stay here and help rule like you and your brothers and sister were meant to do. You're all just as much the Kings and Queens of Narnia as I am. I know Aslan would agree with me on this."
Looking down at their joined hands, Susan remembered of something he had said to Peter only days earlier and was the complete opposite of what he had just told her now. "I thought you said we abandoned Narnia and that it was a mistake for you to call us back here."
Caspian drew his head away from hers as he realized the mistake he had made when saying those things. He didn't mean them and had only said them out of hate for losing their battle against Miraz. In all honesty, those words were the furthest thoughts he had about the Kings and Queens of Old, especially Susan. Caspian respected them all greatly and knew he never could've gotten his throne back without their help. "I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean any of it, you must believe me. I was just so angry with finding out that my uncle had killed my father, for losing half of our army that night–"
"And then my brother blaming our lost battle on you when we returned to Aslan's How," Susan finished his thoughts and then pausing for a moment. "I know you didn't mean what you said. We all have our moments of weakness, Caspian. That's what makes us human. Peter didn't mean what he said to you that day either; he was just as frustrated as you were that we lost so many Narnians in our surprise attack. No one blames you for what happened and you, too, shouldn't blame yourself. It was a terrible thing, but if anyone should be blamed for our loss it's your uncle."
Caspian gave her a small smile and said, "I guess I still have a lot to learn from you, Queen Susan."
"Well, I am 1300 years older than you, aren't I?" Smiling back at him, it hadn't dawned on her that this was the first time Susan had smiled since she realized she would be returning to England soon.
There was an awkward moment of silence between them until Caspian finally spoke up again. "I also want to apologize for what happened that day when the White Witch tried to get released. I should've seen right through Nikabrik's true intentions, but I was blinded by my anger and I didn't want to do it once I found out what was going on. It's no excuse though. It was foolish of me to believe him and I take full responsibility for all of it. I'm sorry that I disappointed you. I just hope I never do it again."
"No," Susan replied back, shaking her head in disagreement. "I shouldn't have gotten so angry with you over the matter. It was rather rash of me to get mad at you because it really wasn't your fault, and I know this from experience. The first time the others and I came to Narnia, the White Witch had tricked Edmund into helping her out. Then Peter was tempted to bring her back if she had really been willing to defeat the Telmarines, so I don't blame you. After I found out what happened between her and Peter later that day, I realized her powers of persuasion must be hypnotizing and irresistible if he was almost willing to bring her back. I'm sorry that you got caught in the middle of it."
Hearing her honesty about the incident, Caspian tore his eyes away from her long enough to finally open up about all of his fears he had with becoming the King of Narnia in the morning. "That's why I'm afraid I cannot rule Narnia like you, High King Peter, King Edmund, and Queen Lucy did 13 centuries ago. What if the White Witch does return or what if the Telmarines start to believe I'm not fit to be their king and they attack us again? What if I can't keep peace in the land and war breaks out? What if I'm not ready to lead yet and I fail everyone?"
"You won't," Susan replied back to him softly as she placed her hands in his this time and held onto them, surprising him a bit. "Aslan wouldn't make you the king unless he truly thought you were ready for it. I know you'll make him and Peter very proud."
Raising his head to lock eyes with her like he had so many times before, Caspian drew closer to her once more. "And what about you?"
Stunned by his question and closeness, Susan felt her breathing becoming a little shallow and her heart beating faster. Like being put under a magical spell, his sincerity was instinctively bringing her physically and emotional closer to him as well. She had never been this close to a boy before. Susan had to admit to herself that Caspian was unlike any of the other guys she ever met, and a million miles away from that annoying boy she had met outside of the train station in England before returning to Narnia. The Telmarine prince was handsome, brave, funny, intelligent, and kind—practically everything a girl could ever want in a boy and Susan knew their chemistry was completely unquestionable, but she quickly reminded herself that their time together was running short. "You've already made me proud, Caspian. You're the rightful king to the throne because you have compassion to protect others and bravery to fight for what's right. I know you will keep peace in the land for many years to come."
"How do you know such things?" Caspian asked her in just above a whisper. His lips were mere inches from her own now with his warm breath tickling was her skin and his eyes were only slightly open. The smell of the trees from the woods was on him and it was the most intoxicating scent Susan had ever come across. His callused hands felt rough against her soft ones, but irresistible to hold onto. The barriers were breaking down and she couldn't stop it. Their breathing became shallower and the sound of their hearts beating was pounding in their ears. Caspian had dreamed of this for many nights now, never thinking he would actually get this close to Susan to act upon his feelings. So many incidents and tragedies had stopped him from getting close enough to her before, but he wasn't going to let this perfect moment slip through his fingers now that there was absolutely nothing standing in his way.
"Because I have faith in you." Susan barely got the words out when he closed the small space between them and silenced her with a sweet kiss. As their eyes closed slowly from the feel of each other's lips, sparks grew into a wildfire of burning desire instantly. Caspian brought one of his hands to her face and cupped her cheek gently. When Susan responded by kissing him back, his heart soared with delight. This was everything he made been yearning for ever since he first laid eyes on her, but Caspian wanted to taste more of her…to explore their feelings for each other in more depth. Brushing his tongue across her bottom lip, he asked for permission to deepen the kiss. Susan immediately obliged, parting her lips in full anticipation of the unknown territory they were both about to enter. Neither of them had ever kissed anyone before, but they let their hearts disregard their lack of experience. They quickly lost all sense of where they were, what time it was, or how much more time they still had together in Narnia. This private moment with Susan was more than the prince ever thought possible and he wasn't going to waste a single second of it.
Desire and passion drowned out all of their rational thoughts and feelings. Caspian invaded her mouth swiftly, tasting her sweet cravens until he had them completely memorized by heart. Placing his other hand on the small of her back, he pulled her even closer to him–a feeling of warmth washed over his entire body. Susan cupped one hand on the back of his neck and other trailing up and down his well-made chest until she finally settled it on his waist. About two minutes later, Caspian tore his mouth away from hers breathlessly and tilted his head so that he could begin trailing soft, sweet kisses across her jaw and down her neck to her collarbone. His breathing was short and unsteady, but the sound of it only drove Susan closer to the edge of pleasure. She understood the fact that they barely even knew each other, but being in his arms made it so that nothing had ever felt more right.
"Caspian…" she moaned out his name as she lifted her head back to give him more access. His insides purred with satisfaction when hearing her say his name like that. Not even in his wildest dreams could this moment have been better, he thought. Caspian brought his head back up to hers and he recaptured her lips in a searing kiss, eliciting a small moan of pleasure from the back of her throat. He kissed her desperately, fervently, fiercely…anything to keep her in his arms. Susan reached up and raked her hands in his dark hair as she allowed his wandering hands travel all over the upper half of her body. When his fingers came upon the tie of her blue robe, Caspian slowly undid it and removed it from her shoulders. He wrapped his arms around her body, missing the feel of her full lips; however, the sound of something dropping on the ground had stopped him. They both looked down to see Edmund's flashlight now completely broken with shattered glass everywhere.
The site of her younger brother's flashlight hit Susan like a rock. Bringing her right hand to her lips in horror, she realized what she had just done. A million thoughts came rushing to her immediately: her siblings, Aslan, having to return to England again…and saying goodbye to Caspian. This moment was exactly what she didn't want to happen, but she let it happen anyway. Now he would be another part of Narnia she'd have to leave behind, breaking her heart even more. Once she grabbed the flashlight and stood up from the stone bench, Susan quickly put her robe back on.
"What's wrong?" Caspian asked her as he got up, staring at her with worry.
"We shouldn't have let things get this far," she said and started to walk away from him.
"No," he whispered as to her as he grabbed her right arm and brought Susan back into his warm embrace, locking eyes with her passionately. "I know you don't mean that because what I just felt…it takes two. You want this, I want this…and we can't stop now." Caspian dipped his head to kiss her lips once more, but when she firmly placed her hand on his chest, he stopped and stared at her intently.
"This was a mistake." Susan stepped away from the prince, gazing at him for a moment more and then walked away.
Should I continue? Feedback is greatly appreciated so please review!