Disclaimer - I don't own any of the guys and girls from Bleach. However, Reika is all mine to bend and mold!

OOOKAY! It's (a group of oneshots) called Flawless Fuck ups
This will NEVER happen in Flawless Imperfections.
I just had this idea in my head and thought I'd write it.
Having a bit of a writers block for anything else. Heh.
& also to my evil minion (if you read this Sweetyuya)
For this addicted reader it is a wonderful fix!
I plan to read them and comment as soon as I can!
-licked lips and giggles with glee-

#01 Tame the Beast - Check

Reika paced back and forth in the living room. This was so screwed up! She didn't know how to deal with this sort of crap. It was never taught to her and it would be a horrible experience. She froze and looked towards the hallway when she heard someone enter the home. She just knew this wasn't going to end well.

Kenpachi was oblivious to his womans inner turmoil. He was, as always, thinking of ways to get her under him. He walked into the home not bothering to knock. True, they didn't live together but that didn't matter to him. He'd come and go as he pleased. Though he was more inclined to come rather than go. (No pun intended.) He wasn't surprised when she didn't call to greet him. She never did. Usually though she'd be grumbling about perverts breaking into her house. Shrugging his shoulders he walked further into the house hoping to find an unsuspecting Rei to pounce.


Reika jumped out of the bed and ran to the bathroom. She had calmed the beast that now lay naked in her bed. But she had avoided the problem that plagued her. Sitting in the empty bathtub she thought of all the ways he was going to maim her when he found out. Cringing at the more detailed thoughts of her own demise. Forgetting how utterly ridiculous she looked, naked in an empty tub muttering to herself.

"What are you doing?" She flinched and turned to see a confused Kenpachi leaning on the door frame.

"Uh…" She said intelligently. "Taking a bath?" She offered up.

"With no water?" He questioned, with a raised eyebrow.

She glared and crossed her arms over her bare chest. "Maybe I just got here and was about to turn the water on." Reika hmphed as if she had won the battle.

"Really, cause you've been in there for at least the past ten minutes that I've been watching you." He said in a dull tone. Reika bit her lip trying to think of a way out of this. She glanced up at the male standing not ten feet from her.

Then it clicked. She turned a bit, leaned against the side of the tub. Pressing her bare chest against the cold tile. "Maybe I was waiting for you…" She said seductively with her eyes shyly glancing up at him. She was relieved when the brute smirked and started towards her.

"Is that so?" He questioned in a husky voice. Reika was, for once, completely ecstatic that her Kenpachi was beyond any pervert she'd ever met. He reached over her and turned the water on, letting the tub fill.

"Mmm, maybe." She tilted her head and smiled up at him. While he was still leaning down she pushed herself up a little and swiped her tongue over his nipple. "So, does this mean I get what I was waiting for?" She whispered gently nuzzling his chest. Hey, she never denied liking what he did to her.

Kenpachi growled as he reached into the slowly filling tub, rubbing up her thigh. He knew she was hiding something but his woman seemed to know the right buttons to push. He'd just find out her secret after he made use of this willingness.


She panted lightly and laid her head on his broad shoulder. He rubbed his big callus hands down her back. He groaned lightly when she shifted in his lap. His limp member still buried deep within her. "Be still…" He mumbled and she giggled lightly against his neck. After a few minutes of silence where they both came back down from orgasm heaven he spoke again. "So, why were you in the empty tub…"

Reika bit her lip and thought of the two roads she could take. Road one; Tell the truth and possibly die, or Road two; LIE LIE LIE! Sighing she realized she didn't like either of those roads. So she'd just take the short cut.

"Cold…" She whimpered against his flesh. As if her body was in on her plan a shiver went through her body. Kenpachi groaned again, he could feel every move she was making. "Keeeeeennnnnn." She whined wrapping her arms tighter around is neck. "I'm cold and tired!" She threw in a yawn for good measure.

Rolling his eyes at her childishness he grunted and lifted her slightly. Pulling himself from her warmth he sighed. Unplugging the tub he wrapped his arms securely around his lover. With an extreme amount of luck and practice (seemed Rei liked to lure him into her bath times) he stood keeping her in his arms. As he stood her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist.

He stepped out of the tub onto the small rug on the ground. "I ain't gonna dry you, ya know." He grumbled as she nuzzled his neck sleepily. She yelped when her wet behind hit the cold counter top.

Pouting she allowed him to move away from her. Taking all of his lovely big body warmth with him. Sluggishly he dried himself and wrapped a towel around his waist. Peeking back where he left the woman he snorted.

Reika had her arms covering her chest and the cutest pout on her lips. When she realized he was looking back at her she childishly held her arms out with a tired look on her face. Uncaring that she was giving him full view of her naked body. With a whine she wondered why he wasn't coming back to warm her and dry her.

Kenpachi held her towel in his hands and smirked. "Are you going to tell me the truth?" He asked smugly causing her to whine more. Biting her lip she returned her arms to cover herself. She didn't want to tell him yet. Not when everything was going so well, they hadn't fought for days. Her tired face fell and she looked on the verge of tears.

Finally giving in he walked over to her and wrapped the towel around her lightly shivering body. Seemed he had more than just perverseness for a weakness. He hated, probably more than losing a fight, he hated seeing his woman upset. Now don't get it wrong, he loved seeing her angry and pissed off. 'She's actually really sexy when she's riled.' He doesn't like her upset, he'd only seen her cry once and he never wanted to experience that again.

As he slouched slightly to dry her legs he was given an unexpected surprise. Reika reached out and wrapped her arms around his head. Hugging it tightly to her bosom she buried her face in his damp hair. Resisting the urge to lick and bite the mounds as he normally would he pulled his head back and looked up into her downcast face. She mumbled something and even at the closeness he couldn't hear her.

"Rei…" His voice was low and caring, no one other than this woman (and maybe Yachiru) heard such a sound from him. Likely never would too. "What's wrong?"

Still biting her lip she looked into his eyes. "Promise you wont kill me?" She asked seriously causing his eyes to flash in anger. He stood abruptly and glared down at her.

There were few reasons he would kill her. Very few actually. "Who was it?" He demanded, his mind already selecting one of the reasons. Reika looked at him oddly as he stepped back and lifted her face to look him in the eye. "Who!" He growled angrily. One of the only reasons he'd ever harm her would be if she were to betray him, if she were to let another man touch her.

Gapping at the man, her mouth opened and closed, much like a fish out of water. Seeing as he was getting no response he stormed out of the room. After a few loud cursed and probably shattered light post from her bedroom Reika jumped off the counter. Quickly grabbing the first article of clothing she could see, which happened to be his captains cloak, she threw it on. "Ke…"

"It was that fucking red headed bastard wasn't it." He hissed pulling his clothes on. "I'll fucking cut his dick off!" He threw his hair back and turned glaring at Reika.

Her cheeks blow up like a puffer fish in anger. "IDIOT!" She screamed at the top of her lungs and pulled the cloak tighter around her. "YOU FUCKING MORON!" Tears stung her eyes but she tried her best to hold them back.

Kenpachi ignored how fuckable she looked still damp and covered in only his cloak. He was angry, there was nothing getting her out of his rage. He stalked over to her he took her by the front of the cloak. Hoisting her to his eyelevel he sneered down at her. "I'll deal with you after I rip him limb from limb." He dropped her uncaringly to the floor and turned to storm out of the house. He had a red head to neuter and then he had to deal with this…this woman.

Coughing lightly she shook her head and scrambled to her feet. "Wait…" Her plea fell onto deaf ears. Forgetting her current undressed she stumbled after him out of the house. "Kenpachi…wait…" Her poor feet were being cut and scraped along the dirt street as she chased after him.

Kenpachi ignored her, not bothering to sympathize with her when he could smell the blood from her torn feet. He found himself quite lucky to find the man he'd been looking for not far from Reika's home. "Fucking bastard…" He hissed as he grabbed Renji by the arm and threw him up onto a wall. "I'll gut you!"

Renji coughed and struggled for the air that had been knocked out of him. He looked in shock at the furious captain that held him against the wall. "Cap…tain…" He gasped out in confusion. Kenpachi simply raised his large paw to the mans throat and held him in place.

Reika spilled around the corner, still holding the cloak closed around her bare body. Her breath was labored and her eyes widened when she saw the situation before her. Scrambling up to the two she quickly stood half in front of Renji, facing Kenpachi. "Wait..wait! It's not what you think!" She yelled in a panic. Renji looked completely confused. His eyes darting from Reika to Kenpachi, as he struggled to get the needed air to his lungs.

Kenpachi didn't even spare her a glance as his hand tightened on the red heads neck. His other hand came out and pushed her away, sending her to her ass not far from them. "I fuckin' said I'd deal with you after!" He growled and Reika could almost hear Renji's air being cut off. Shaking her head she gripped the front of the cloak tighter.

"I'M PREGNANT! YOU FUCKING JACKASS!" She yelled causing both men to turn their eyes to her kneeling figure. They both could hear her whispering, calling Kenpachi every foul name she could think of. Kenpachi seemed to only tighten his grip on the Lieutenants neck.

"You fucked him and got pregnant!" He hissed out in anger. Seemed the big brutes mind was set and it would take a bolder to set it right again. Renji shook his head franticly no and Reika's head shot up. Glaring at the fuming man she stood and stomped over to him.

"Gods! Why are you so stupid!" She threw one arm in the air, thankfully remembering to keep hold of the cloth over her body. Though the cut arm hole did give everyone a nice side view of her naked breast. A few stubborn tears rolled down her cheek. "I've never slept with Renji! You buffoon!" She pushed his arm with all her strength, not doing anything to his movement - which angered her more. "Maybe I should have! Cause he wouldn't have been as stupid as you!" She punched his chest repeatedly. Finally laying her tired head on his chest, she shook it and more tears fell. "You're the reason I'm pregnant. Stupid, stupid, man."

Kenpachi still held Renji to the wall but let his head tilt to the side as if thinking hard on something. Renji didn't dare move just incase attention was brought back onto him. Taking his free hand Kenpachi ran it under the loose cloak Reika had wrap around her. "You…" His hand brushed over her flat stomach as his mind finally began to work again. "You ain't lying? To protect 'em?" His head tilted towards Renji as if there was another man he was about to kill.

Glaring up at him with tears in her eyes her lips scrunched together in anger. Slapping his hand away from her stomach she hissed at him backing out of his reach. Seeing the hurt and anger in her eyes his own widened. "Oh shit…" He muttered finally releasing his captive and letting the smaller man fall to the ground. Renji coughed and took in a few straggled breaths.

Reika sniffled and glanced at Renji to make sure he was alright. She didn't go to help him, she didn't want to be any closer to the cruel creature she loved. "Oh fuck…" Kenpachi steadied his body with his arm against the wall and held his head in the other hand. "No fucking way…"

Biting her lip she took a backwards step away from the two. Looking away from Kenpachi she felt her heart being crushed into a thousand pieces. She knew it, he was going to either kill her or discard her. Squeezing her eyes shut she tried to will away the tears. Suddenly she was swept off the ground by two strong arms. Squealing her eyes flew open only to land on Kenpachi who frowned down at her.

"Wh…what are you doin'?" She stuttered. "Put me down this instant!" He was going to throw her off of a roof or something. She wiggled in his grasp as he started to walk away from the location. She glanced back at a stunned Renji. 'He doesn't want witnesses!' Her mind panicked. "No..no…"

"Stop your squirming or ya might fall!" He growled unhappily. She froze immediately.

"Don't kill me…" She whimpered and oddly enough buried her face in his chest for safety. He stopped and looked down at her curiously.

'Kill her?' He thought before it dawned on him. He motioned with his head to her feet. "You're bleeding." She looked at him with wide innocent eyes, that he had always wondered how she kept. "Plus, should you be running around like that when…" Reika nearly gasped when she saw the blush on the mans cheeks. "Ya might hurt one of yous." Gulping she couldn't help but blush herself. When a strong man like Kenpachi was reduced to such a state there was little else she could do. As if noticing her returning to her normal self he smirked. "So…" He continued walking back to her apartment. "We can keep having sex without protection, huh?" He said absentmindedly earning him a slap on the chest.

"Pervert…" She mumbled fondly finally relaxing and leaning into her lovers body.

'We are so fucked…' They both thought in an odd sense of happiness.

-hides in shame- I suck at grammar & I misspell things sometimes
HOWEVER I have an amazing Minion who points out the times I put the wrong word

Well, that's it for now...
Hope someone enjoyed that...
- WannaBeNinja -