I shall attempt to make this funny ... though I wouldn't hold your breath! -Unless you a vampire then go ahead ... could you come and bite me too, please? xD-



"Yes, Rosalie?"

"Why is my best bra in bits around Edward's room?"



-More silence-


Meanwhile, downstairs...

"Edward, Rosalie sounds mad."

"Yes, Bella. Maybe we should ..."


-Edward gulps-

"Edward! Edward put me down!"

"Edward Cullen, WHAT did you do to my best bra?"

"Her bra? What were you doing with her bra Edward?!"

"Nothing, love"

"Then why do you sound so guilty? Edward Anthony Cullen, turn around RIGHT this instant and take me back to the house!"

"Trust me Bella, its safer out here"

"For you or for me?"

"Well ... Jasper may have told her that you were using it –"

"He WHAT?!"

"So you see the predicament."


"You're so cute when you pout"

-Blushes- "Shut up."

"It's not my fault."

"What were they doing with her bra anyway?"

"Well ..."

"Wait, why didn't Alice see this coming?"

"Oh, I did"

"Alice? Where did you come from?"

"The question is, Bella, can Edward run fast enough?"

"Yes, Edward is a very fast run-"


"Aw crap."

"Why is my best bra in tatters around your room?"

"Emmett, if you don't get your sorry excuse for a vampire butt out here right now ...!"

"Chill Bella. I wouldn't want you human heart to combust or anything."

-Edward growls-

"Emmett, why did Jasper tell Rosalie that I had her bra?"

"Because ..."

"Because what?"

"Well ... if you had it ... me and Jasper won't loose any rumpy time."


"Any what?"

"Rumpy time. You know."

"Fortunately, Emmett, I don't."

"Unfortunatly, I do"

"Aw, Edward"

-kissing sounds-


"Comes from the guy who doesn't want to loose his 'rumpy' time."

"You don't know what your missing out on, Edward, you old prude."

"Excuse me, this doesn't answer my question. WHAT happened to my bra?"

-Alice giggles-

"I didn't have it Rosalie. Neither did Edward."

"That I can believe. I bet he's never touched a bra in his life!"


-Emmett laughs-

"Come on Edward, I'm surprised you don't explode with sexual tension every time you see Bella's ankles!"

"Why you –"


"Sorry, Bella."

"My bra? Will SOMEONE tell me what happened to my bra?"


"Jeez Emmett. I think my eardrums just burst."

"Sorry Bella."


"Jasper, what did you do to Rosalie's bra?"

"Well ... we found some hamsters in the forest –"

"Since when do you get hamsters in the forest?"

"-and Emmett thought it would be fun to see how far they could fly before they pooped themselves."

"So ...?"

"So ... we found the pingiest bra we could ... and shot them through Edward's window. It's the biggest."

"You ... shot them ... through his ..."

"Contain the anger Rose. Breath."

"But how did it end up in pieces?"

"Well ... Emmett did two and neither of them pooped ... I said that I could make them do it, first time ..."


"Well, it did. But then, there was this one –"

"And I swear, it had teeth like a crocodile –"

"Shut up Emmett"

"And it bit Emmett and then he decided that his manliness would be laughed at if he didn't beat a hamster ..."


"Shut up Alice"

"And the little thing fought back, it went down bravely. A fine soldier, if he wasn't a hamster, he would be very handy in a –"

"Jasper. Run."

"Alice, I love you!" –yell fades-

"Don't you go anyway Jasper Hale!"

-Yelp comes from distance-

"No one move ..."

"Edward ..."

"Yes Bella?"

"I just remembered ... I have to water my ... cat tonight."

"Oh, well you'll need help with that ..."

"Edward ... take one step and –"

"Edward, RUN!"



"You know what this means, Emmett?"

"Yes Rosalie. You're going to get out all of this tension in some rumpy tonight?"