Disclaimer: South Park is Matt & Trey's, not mine

Author's Note I: This idea had been floating around my head for awhile, and when I saw Foodstamp's (Imaginaaation on DA) challenge, I decided to write it down. The theme of the challenge is: "the boys i mean are not refined" (uncapitalized I on purpose). Thank eishi for beta-reading.

Author's Note II: sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes, and incorrect usage of words and phrases. English is not mine (or eishi's) native tongue.


Adult Business

Throughout their many school and college years, Kyle Broflovski was known for three things: his genius brain, his crazy mother, and his hot ass (the third could be attributed to the female occupants of the education system, of course). But if Stanley Marsh had to put his finger of it, he would have to say that his best friend must be notorious for one thing: his poor skills of acting.

Sure, the other three characterizations could work just as well, but Stan already accepted Kyle as he was, and none of the aforementioned qualities surprised or exhilarated him. Kyle's acting skills, on the other hand, could still send him into heaps of laughter even after many years of knowing him.

It all started when in the sixth grade Bebe Stevens insisted that the Jewish boy would accept the lead part in their school play that she directed, which, of course, she wanted to happen only because she considered the redhead to be 'hot as hell'. Kyle refused, at first, but after Bebe pestered him for days, and after Kenny convinced him by saying that "it is sure to make him a Babe-Magnet", Kyle agreed, and a few days later insisted that to be a famous actor was his new dream.

As a side note, it might as well be mentioned that Stan's role in that play was tree number two.

The play was a complete disaster, and Stan had to wonder just why didn't anybody tell his best friend that he sucked at acting. The crowd begun throwing things at the stage just mere twenty minutes into the play (his dad, Stan noted ashamedly, was the leader), and poor Kyle was driven off the stage.

After that incident, Kyle had insisted he was broken and scarred for life, but apparently he forgot about it after a week. The school body, on the other hand, did not; Their fellow classmates made sure to mention it to him on a daily basis (especially Cartman, who let go of the Jew-jokes in favor of the new "You're-The-Poorest-Actor-Ever" jokes), and even as he got to university, Kyle had informed Stan via mails and phone calls that some fellow students apparently had heard about that horrendous school play. Kyle used to complain in his ears that he was cursed for life, but Stan had always laughed it off and told him that some people were meant to be actors and some didn't, and besides, he changed his dreams and ambitions on a daily basis. But Kyle didn't hear any of it and said that acting could have gotten him fame, but now he was doomed to be a nobody from South Park for the rest of his life. Stan frowned. He really did not see how studying Computer Science in MIT made Kyle a nobody.

Throughout their many school and college years, Stanley Marsh was known for three things: his awesome athlete skills, his stupid father, and his uncanny tendency to throw up on any girl, who came a mere two feet in front of him. But if Stan had to put his finger on it, he would have to say that it was his "late blooming" – as he preferred naming it – that made him notorious. He would have traced it all back to when he got no period while all of his friends did, but since dudes don't get period, as he later found out, he would have to blame his stupid genes for it. His facial hair, along with his body, refused to grow, and he remained the shortest and the most hairless boy in their grade up until graduation. In addition to that, while all of the other guys went to one date after another, it took him years to get completely over Wendy Testaburger and ask some random girl, whose name he could not remember, out.

So he took her to a fancy restaurant, bought her a small gift, and sealed the evening by puking on her when she tried to kiss him goodnight.

Cartman taunted him endlessly about that, by the way.

He was refused by every girl he had asked out after that incident, from obvious reasons, and while Kyle informed him happily from his spot in Massachusetts that he "fucked everything that moved", Stan had to look down at his feet (it helped that Kyle could not see him) and quietly mumble that he was getting his fair share, too (here, too, it helped that no one informed Kyle otherwise).

One would have expected that Stan would take care of his sexual needs in another way, but just the thought of touching his own dick while watching a dude fuck a chick (or two) made the bile rise up in his throat, and he sadly admitted that his computer was free of any smut, and that he only masturbated when he really had to (that is, when a glorious erection greeted him in mornings).

So while his fellow classmates were downloading large amounts of porn, he satisfied for watching silly reality shows (in which girls ran around in minimal bikinis), and while the guys laughed with each other and bet who "slaps the monkey around" the most, he had to remain in the corner of the classroom and scribble nonsense in his notebook.

With his late blooming came also his late realizations. This is perhaps why it took him years to realize that he and Wendy are no longer, this is probably why he started getting normal grades only as a senior, and this is might be why he could not see his best friend's orientation until it slapped him on the face.

At the not-so-tender age of twenty-two, Stanley Marsh decided, at one cold and awfully lonely night in his one-room apartment, that maybe he should give smut films a chance. After all, girls still made him queasy whenever they merely brushed against him, and he came to the (late) realization that if he didn't do something about his habits, he would never get married. Or laid.

Stan's first meeting with porn was when he was about sixteen. He asked of Cartman, God knows why, to burn him a movie he had wanted to watch for awhile. Eric Cartman, the little bastard he is, indeed brought him a silver CD with the title of the movie he had asked for. However, when he inserted it into his DVD, Stan was surprised to see a man doing some… pretty crazy shit to some woman (Cartman made sure to burn just the 'hot parts' of that movie). Stan turned the TV off in a frenzy, his heart thumping wildly in his chest as the dinner he's eaten a mere hour before begun making its way up his esophagus. Luckily, he made it to the bathroom on time.

Since then he never accepted anything from Cartman and was a laughing stock in the eyes of his friends (who knew about the incident because Cartman had made sure to have a video camera ready).

Although Kyle and Kenny (especially Kenny) tried to convince him and promise him that not all porn was quite that twisted, Stan vehemently refused to give it another try.

But when Stan turned twenty-two he realized, as was mentioned, that he should probably give it another try and start with something soft.

So he nervously surfed some sites and only looked at the titles, until he came upon one by The Hare. As it seemed like a nice name (as nice as can be for a porn company, that is), he chose to download one of its movies. "Cum to the Gym", seemed like an interesting enough name, and he waited patiently (no, really. He didn't want it to get to 100 percent) for a few hours until it was fully downloaded. Then, at about 11 pm, the movie was stored in a special file he opened just for this occasion.

He closed the blinds, pulled down his pants and underwear slowly and sat on the chair, chewing at his lower lip in dread. His right hand was already in position when the movie started, and Stan watched breathlessly as some dude worked out on his screen while wearing barely anything. A few seconds later another guy came up to him, and Stan nearly pulled his penis out of its place when he realized who that was.

His best friend, Kyle Broflovski, apparently took part in a porn video. How so very exhilarating.

Stan was still for while as he watched (but not quite registered) how his best friend started caressing the other man's chest. "You come here a lot?" he asked in that monotonous voice he had when he tried to act.

"I only just started," the other man said and stood up, facing the Jewish boy.

Stan still waited for the chick to appear.

"Well then," Kyle said with a smile, "maybe I can show you around a bit."

Then they kissed.

It was only at that moment that Stan realized he downloaded a gay porn by mistake, but the shock of seeing his best friend playing in it prevented him from clicking the 'close' or 'stop' buttons. Clothes were discarded in moments and suckage proceeded. Stan blinked stupidly as he watched his best friend suck (and getting sucked himself later) hungrily, emitting moans (which he wanted to believe were fake) from his fellow "actor". When it was Kyle's turn to moan, Stan begun feeling the bile and only when penetration occurred he regained his composure and closed the movie player. He grabbed his trash can and proceeded to empty his dinner into it.

The first thought that coursed through his mind was that maybe the next time he should fast before watching a smut film.

His second thought was about Kyle, and just why the hell he was playing in a porn movie.

Both of them had graduated from college last year. Stan remained in Colorado throughout his three years of studying for a degree, while Kyle remained in the east for awhile more. A few weeks before, the Jewish young man had informed him of his plans to return west to Colorado. Stan was exhilarated at the notion at first, but now, as he sat pale on the chair next to his desk, staring blankly at the his computer desktop, he was not so sure if it was the best idea to see Kyle again after almost a year and a half.

As he poured himself a glass of lukewarm water from the faucet in his tiny kitchen, Stan came to the realization that Kyle, apparently, was gay. Kyle was gay, and he didn't bother to tell him that, even though they were super best friends and even though Stan was positive they hid no secrets from each other. Stan tightened his hold on the glass as his brow furrowed.

Well then, fuck Kyle!

But then he remembered the porn he just watched and wanted to throw up again.


Although Stan was sure the gay porn scarred him for life, he could not help but be just a tad curious as to the work Kyle didn't bother to tell him he was doing. The thought that maybe now he could be the one who will be taunting Kyle about this kind of things, brightened him, and Stan decided to look for Kyle's other… works.

He ate nothing as he woke up one Saturday morning, and his stomach remained in its empty state throughout the rest of the day. Although it grumbled in protest, Stan ignored his stomach's pleas as he surfed the net for information about The Hare. Googling the name, he found the link at the top of the page and clicked on the blue, underlined title with a certain amount of dread. After informing the site that he was indeed an adult above the age of twenty-one, he was greeted with many pictures of nude guys, numerous ads about penis enlargement and with a few pop-ups of online Casino ads and other porn sites. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat as he closed one pop-up after another, his eyes skimming the screen quickly and trying to ignore the disturbing titles and pictures.

At the top of the screen, between Membership and Titles, he found the link he was looking for: Models.

They hired many, Stan realized as he scrolled down and stared at the good looking guys, who were looking back at him with a mischievous smile.

Then, at about the middle of the page, he found Kyle Broflovski.

He clicked on the picture and was redirected to his profile. In it, Stan found a few photos of his best friend, some of which nude, some information about his abilities (Stan retched dryly at that), and then of course: the movies he played in.

Stan wasn't entirely sure what urged him to download them all.

A few days later there were about fourteen movies in his special file, and after he fasted for half a day (though he wondered if, perhaps, he should have fasted for a full one) he found himself once again in the position he was in for the first time he watched gay, or any, porn willingly.

Stan watched with wide eyes and heavy breathing how his best friend fucked and got fucked, sucked and got sucked, fingered and got fingered. He watched with amazement when vibrators and other toys were pulled out, turned his head away when two guys did… things to the redhead, and retched dryly whenever someone came with loud moans.

He was sweaty and apprehensive when a few hours later he clicked on the last file that was left: "Cum to the Gym" (as he closed that movie after about ten minutes for the first time). In this movie, nothing too perverted occurred, and Stan licked his dry lips as the Jewish redhead thrust his hips faster and faster and caused the other male in the picture to moan loudly, the tattoo on his left shoulder blade stretching as his muscles flexed. And before Stanley Marsh even noticed, he was thrusting his hips himself, his hand rubbing up and down, and only when a low moan escaped his lips did he realize what he was doing.

Then he came.

Moans still reverberated in the background as he stared at the mess he'd made, breathing heavily as all color drained from his face. He just jerked off to gay porn in which his best friend played!

He retched dryly from a few minutes more, but nothing but gruesome noise came out of his mouth.

Although it took about a dozen of porn films to make him come to this realization, eventually it dawned into Stan that maybe Kyle wasn't the only homosexual in their group. Too bad it took him fucking years to understand that, though…

Stan buried his head in the palms of his hands and cried.


"Dude!" Kyle cried once he spotted him at the airport, scampering towards him with spread arms.

Stan smiled waveringly and engulfed his (gay!) best friend in a tight hug, his scent making him dizzy for a minute.

"Hi Kyle," he said quietly, resting his head on his shoulder. "Long time no see…"

"Yeah," Kyle agreed and pulled away, assessing him with his green eyes. "You look the same," he said with a wide smile.

On the outside, Stan corrected inwardly. "You too," he said.

Kyle patted him on his back. "Man, I missed you so much!"

"Same here, dude," Stan replied, finding it hard to say something more sensible. "So uh… my car is parked outside. Let's go before rush hour starts…"

Kyle nodded. "Yeah," he said and begun pushing the trolley forwards. "You sure it's okay if I crash at your place until I find my own place to live?" he asked him as they exited the automatic doors into the parking lot.

"Sure," Stan replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"You don't sound like it…" Kyle said quietly behind him, and when Stan turned his head to look at him he saw him frown.

Stan scratched his nape and looked down, sighing heavily. "It's just that… something's been bothering me for awhile…" he explained.

"What is it?" Kyle asked, cocking his head to the side in what Stan thought to be a very cute fashion.

"Let's… talk about it later, okay?" he requested as he unlocked his car and helped Kyle load his luggage onto it.

They did not utter a word on the ride back as Kyle changed the radio channels repeatedly, until he found some station with oldies and sat up straight, resting his head on the back of the chair and promptly falling asleep.

Stan then realized it was going to be a very long day.

When they arrived to his apartment, Stan pulled a frozen pizza out of the freezer and put it inside the toaster-oven, helping Kyle unpack while he waited for it to be ready.

"You really changed your wardrobe," Stan commented as he put his best friend's clothes next to his in the closet.

"You didn't expect me to wear the same clothes for four years, did you?" Kyle asked. Stan shrugged and Kyle sighed exasperatedly. "Stan…" he said quietly, his voice coaxing and causing Stan's insides to knot. "What's on your mind?"

Stan released a shaky sigh and straightened up, his eyes closed as he collected his thoughts. "Kyle…" he said quietly. "I… I watched some porn the other day and…"

Kyle paled. "Oh no," he said. "Stan, you know you can't deal with it! Whatever came over you? You poor thing, you probably have nightmares now!" Kyle tried to hug him, but Stan pushed him away, shaking his head slowly.

"No, Kyle… I…" Then he realized he would never be able to say it out loud, and instead clicked around in his computer for a bit until he nodded to himself and stepping back, allowing Kyle to see the file that he opened.

Kyle stared, blinked a few times, and then paled. "Stan…" he said breathlessly. "Stan, I can explain…"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Stan cried, tears springing to his eyes. "We are best friends, Kyle, and you didn't have the decency to just come out and tell me you're gay?"

"It's not like that at all!" Kyle yelled back.

"Oh, come on! I saw for too many times just how hard you were!"

Kyle's eyes narrowed and he pursed his lips. "What, you think everything I did there was for pure enjoyment? "

"I didn't see you suffer!" Stan countered. From the kitchen, a bell signaled that the pizza was ready, but neither man heard it.

Kyle glared at him and crossed his arms over his chest. "Because it's porno, Stan! They would have fired me if it didn't seem like I was enjoying myself!"

"Why did you work for them, anyway?" Stan asked in frustration. "You have brains, Kyle! You could have been a waiter, or a clerk somewhere… you could have worked at a gas station, even! Why porn?"

Kyle sighed and his eyes softened as he looked down. "They pay well," he said. "And some of the scenes…" A soft smile played on his lips then and he chuckled quietly. "Can't say I regret them." Stan paled. "You know it was my dream, Stan… I wanted… I wanted to prove to myself that I could act somewhere!"

"That's it?" Stan asked, incredulous. "You were so traumatized from the sixth grade that you went and got hired by a porn company?"

Kyle shrugged. "You don't need acting skills for them to take you…"

Stan paled again. "Fuck," he muttered.

Kyle approached him and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Look, Stan… I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my… orientation sooner. I didn't want to do it via phone or mail, and when we did meet it was only for a few days. I didn't want to just… let the bomb drop and leave. I'm sorry. I was meaning to tell you in a few days…"

Stan looked up at him with a tiny smile on his lips. "It's okay," he whispered. "I think I understand…"

Kyle smiled widely at him and wrapped him in a tight hug. When he pulled back, his arm still on Stan's shoulder, he frowned down at him. "Say, Stan," he started. "But why… do you have all the movies I played in?"

Stan sputtered. "W-well I… you… you know how… slow I can sometimes be, right?" he asked slowly.

"Yeah, you- oh…" Kyle nodded finally, the smile returning to his face.

"Yeah…" Stan said back, scratching the back of his neck slowly.

Kyle chuckled. "It's okay," he said.

"But of course," Stan replied. "You can't be a homophobe when you're gay yourself."

Kyle laughed heartily and ruffled his black hair. "And it's only my porn that you watched…" he said when his laughter died down.

Stan blushed heavily. "W-well… the first one I watched was by accident and then-"

"Shh," Kyle silenced him by putting a finger to his lips. "No need for excuses," he said as he inched closer.

"W-what?" Stan stuttered.

Kyle caressed his cheek slowly. "Nobody watches this amount of porn by accident, Stan," he said huskily. Stan gulped. "I think you liked watching me…"

"I…. uh…" Stan's entire body tingled when Kyle kissed him on his cheek, his hot breath not leaving his face.

Kyle chuckled seductively. "It's obvious that you liked it, Stan," he said, still mere inches from his face. "Besides," he continued, "who do you think I imagined doing all those things to? And with?"

Stan cocked his head to the side and blinked.

Then he blinked again.

Then he put two and two together.

"What!" he exclaimed, dumbfounded, and Kyle seemed to take it as cue and kissed him passionately. Stan moaned in protest at first and tried to push Kyle away, but a few moments later he relaxed and his eyes fluttered shut as he kissed the redhead back, his heart thumping wildly in his chest and sending his blood coursing to various areas in his body.

When Kyle pulled away finally Stan still did not open his eyes, relishing on the feeling of soft fingers stroking his left cheek. "So how did you like it?" Kyle asked in that coaxing tone of his.

"I've seen you do better," Stan replied.

Kyle laughed.

End.


Author's Note III: Please leave a review if you liked it! Also, if you have a DA account, feel free to vote for my story when July comes!