Lance whistled to himself as he made his way to the bathroom. He was planning on having a nice long soak under the shower head after his hard days work. Work meaning sitting on his ass watching others work. He opened the door to the bathroom still whistling and stopped dead.
"Pietro, what the hell are you doing!?"
"I'm dancing to Britney Spears whilst wearing a red catsuit. What the hell does it look like I'm doing!?"
"But you can't do that! It's a chick thing!" Lance's eyes were getting wider and wider as he watched the speedster.
"No. Not really." Pietro washed the razor out in the sink.
"Pietro, you're shaving your legs! This is so weird I don't know what to think! First the nail polish and now this!" Lance shook his head.
"But Lance, it's so smooth, feel it!" Pietro ran a hand up his leg and gestured for Lance to do the same. "Like pure silk."
"Silk my ass. It looks like skin to me and I'm not running a hand up your leg!" At this point Todd hopped by.
"Whaz up my homie g's? Woah! That's not something you see everyday!"
"Todd, kindly stop speaking like a wigger," Pietro said, carefully running a razor over his knee.
"I ain't no wigger yo!" Todd protested, "and look who's talking razor boy!"
"Is that the best you do?" Pietro asked, looking up in disgust, "oh right, of course it is. I forgot who I'm talking to."
"Lay off of the Toad for a sec will ya Pietro?" Lance said, coming to Todd's rescue, "I mean you have to admit, this is weird."
"Thank you Lance," Todd smiled gratefully.
"You guys are so, how can I put this, stuck in the dark ages? Clueless? Ignorant?" sighed Pietro.
"What do you mean?" Lance snapped, not liking the speedster's tone.
"How can I put this in a way you'll understand? Hair create resistance. No hair mean less resistance. Less resistance mean go faster. Un-der-stand?"
"Shut up wise guy!" Lance snapped, "stop mocking us!"
"Yeah!" Todd said, pouting a little.
"Gods be praised they understood an insult," Pietro threw his arms heaven-ward. Lance rushed forward to grab Pietro by the shirt front. "Uh-uh-ah!" Pietro said, holding up his razor, "I am armed and dangerous. Don't think I won't use this thing."
"Eeek! It's the attack of the hairless-legged Pietro! Run! Run!" Lance shrieked, dashing out of the bathroom, Todd hot on his heels.
"You cannot escape me!" Pietro called, "I am the speeding wonder! I can run like you have never run and will never run before!"
Mystique was settling down to a nice night of tv when Lance streaked past, followed by Todd, both of them screaming, "run, run! He'll shave you from head to foot, he's a mad-man I tell you! A mad-man!" Pietro rushed after them, razor held aloft as he chased them laughing insanely.
"I have got to get my own place," Mystique sighed, placing her head in her hands.
- - - - - - - - -
Oh the long suffering torment of Mystique! He he. Pietro shaves his legs. ^_^