Title: Edward and the Kitten

Category: Humor/Fluff

Rating: G

Spoilers: None

Summary: Edward brings Bella a kitten.

Disclaimer: Belongs to Stephenie Meyer, and she should TOTALLY do this.

I was waiting on Edward. He'd promised to come over today, before Charlie got home from work, and it wasn't like him to be late. I'd arranged for us to have leftovers for dinner just so I could devote this whole chunk of time to my vampire boyfriend, and he'd gone AWOL.

A knock on the door surprised me. Edward didn't bother with the door when I was the only one home – who could it be?

But, no, it was Edward at the door, smiling like he had a secret and practically bouncing with eagerness, as if Alice had stolen his body.

"I have a surprise for you," he said gleefully. I then noticed that his hands were behind his back, and I narrowed my eyes suspiciously.

"A surprise?"

He rolled his eyes at my wary tone. "You'll like this one, I promise. Just close your eyes for a moment, please?"

I sighed and did what I was told. I heard a strange squeaking sound and almost peeked, but I knew Edward would catch me. Finally, he seemed satisfied. "All right. Open them."

I did, and was met with the last thing I had expected to see.

Knowing Edward, I would have found a Porsche parked in front of my house, or found some extravagant piece of jewelry in his hands – but it wasn't either of those things. It was…it was…

…A kitten.

A kitten, as in, a tiny, four-legged, fluffy, orange, large-eyed purring creature, looking up at me with the most adorable face in the known universe. It sat perfectly straight in Edward's hands, regarding me curiously.

I groaned.

"Edward!" I sighed, "Do you not realize what you've just condemned this animal to by bringing it to me? Were you not paying attention at all when I told you about my goldfish cemetery?"

He chuckled. "Relax, Bella. It can stay with us if you're that worried."

I sighed, seeing the hopefulness in his eyes, eyes that were almost exactly the same golden tone as the kitten's. "Are you sure it won't get eaten at your house?"

He stretched out his arms to pass the kitten to me. "No one would bother. He wouldn't even pass for a snack."

Reluctantly, I took the kitten into my arms. It seemed glad to be back in warm hands and cuddled contentedly into my chest. I knew then that I had lost.

"Damnit," I grumbled. "It's adorable."

Edward chuckled. "Will you keep him, then?"

The kitten purred happily at me, nuzzling my chin. "I don't really have a choice, I don't think. But I don't have anything I need to take care of him…"

He rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't buy you a kitten and not help you take care of it. He's had all his shots and I have everything you'll need out in the car."

I shook my head and walked into the living room, cat still in hand, and sat on the couch. Edward followed, still beaming with his triumph.

"What on earth possessed you to give me a kitten, anyway?" I asked.

Edward sat next to me and watched the kitten begin to crawl up my shoulder with absolute satisfaction. "Well, you seem intent on becoming a vampire, and you've never really had a pet, so I thought that was one human experience we should get in."

The kitten had now made his way across my shoulders, down into my lap, and was now batting tentatively at Edward's knee. He smiled fondly at the cat and carefully stroked his furry head.

"So…you've resigned yourself to my becoming a vampire, then?" I asked, never missing a chance to press him for what I wanted.

He sighed. "I know I can't change your mind. So…I suppose I have."

His mouth was twisted downward in a frown, but I grinned triumphantly. He shot me a glance of pure exasperation and returned his attention to the happy little furball between us.

"He still needs a name, you know," Edward said. "I thought you'd prefer to choose."

I lifted the kitten and turned it back to me, considering his furry face as he regarded me with impatience and confusion – a look I knew very well, and that's when the name came to me.

"I think I'll call him Eddy."

"Eddy?" Edward said incredulously. "Why?"

"Well, it would be confusing if I called him Edward, wouldn't it?" I said innocently.

His response was a growl that sent Eddy scampering back into my lap.