A Mighty Tale Told in the Might Marvel Manner!
Thor and Loki Attack the Human Race!
Somewhere in the Pacific Rim
In the wee predawn hours, men hurried around the latest toy in the superpowers race. Towering over them all was a missile, its make and model declared top secret, and within this missile sat its nuclear payload. "Begin countdown!" Boomed a voice over the loudspeaker. Men hurried inside as the numbers counted down.
With a final shudder, the missile raced up towards the sky. Technicians hunched over their monitors as various statistics were read off. "Propulsions green!"
"Navigation is go!"
"Ready the detonation!"
In the early days of flight, pilots would often blame gremlins on any problems they encountered. Even to the very minute, at least one officer would rub a rabbit's foot or four-leaf clover before any test. Various items were grabbed tightly and blame assigned to the mischievous creatures as an alarm suddenly sounded.
"What's wrong?" One of the visiting generals thundered.
"I, I don't know sir! The missile isn't responding to us anymore!"
High overhead, the missile, with its deadly cargo, suddenly veered off to the right. Frantically, the men down below tried to take back their weapon. "It's gone haywire!"
"Abort the mission!"
"We can't, none of our signals can get through!"
"What the devil is doing this?"
Many leagues away, unseen by mortal eyes, Loki grinned as he stared at the scene as it was being played out in the cauldron before him. "An appropriate choice of words mortal!" Loki cackled to himself. With a wave of his hand, the smoke and the scene vanished. "And now for the rest of my plan!"
Leaving his tower, Loki strolled boldly through the wasteland and mounted his horse. With a sharp kick, he rode on towards the rolling green hills, where the second component of his plan awaited. "Soon, brother, soon." Loki's grin grew wider as he rode. "Soon we will all be one large family."
Back on Earth, a quick meeting was held. Generals and top men from all branches conferred and shouted over phone lines as the missile seemed to defy every known physical law as it began to hover it place above the Earth. "Well, what options do we have?" General Thompson shouted. "We can track it and shoot it, but the fallout…"
"How can it just stay there?"
Ideas were tossed around. In an emergency meeting with the Joint Chiefs of Staff, one voice shouted down all the others. "Gentlemen, we need Lady Thor."
Jane Foster rubbed her eyes at the paperwork spread before her seemed to multiply. Hearing the door open behind her, she almost greeted Dr. Blake, but she shook her head, driving the illusion away. In the doorframe stood Sif, warrior goddess and wife to Thor, Don's true self. "Thou art still laboring?" Sif's eyebrows were raised as she sat down a mug of coffee.
"I never stopped." Jane took the mug and downed the contents. "Since Don left…"
"Aye," Sif interrupted her. "Taken back to the Realm Eternal, but tell me, why do you stay here?"
Jane blinked. "Why? Don has an office, patients, I have to help"
"Not my question. I meant, why stay in this land? Thou posses the hammer of Thor; with it we can argue before Odin. Why have they not done so?"
Jane slid back in her chair. "Why? Because I'm scared out of my mind, that's why. Thor is your husband, I understand that, but Don…"
"Is someone special?" Jane nodded. "Aye, I understand that. But I've kept my tongue still, hoping thy would step forward." Sif, with no visible effort on her part, picked Don's desk up and dropped it several feet away. "The man we both love lies in Asgard. We can sit around like children, hoping for High Father's notice, or we can march up the Rainbow Bridge itself and demand an audience. What will it be?"
Before Jane could answer, an announcement interrupted the music. "This just in, a special message from Washington, D.C. Lady Thor, if you are listening, your presence is urgently needed. Fly to the last place for further instruction. This message will be repeated once an hour."
Jane glanced at the radio. Sif sighed and waved her off. "Very well, go and be the hero. But this does not save you from your responsibilities."
Jane left silently. As the familiar form of Lady Thor streaked across the sky, Sif shook her head. "How is she going to challenge Odin?"
Lady Thor landed at the edge of the military base. "This was the last place I where I worked for the government, and where I fought the Tomorrow Man. I wonder what the problem is now?"
Armed men drove out to her, but instead of a confrontation, they gave her a message. She nodded and took flight again. "A rouge missile? This could be Loki's work!" Flying towards the coordinates given, she soon spied the missile as it hung in the upper atmosphere. As she slowed her flight, she had the strangest feeling that she was being watched…
Loki cackled with glee as he watched the scene unfold. "Yes sister, turn around and prepare thyself!"
Lady Thor spun around as she felt heat on her back. Floating in the atmosphere before her was a dragon. A massive, scaly, fire-breathing dragon, and its baleful yellow eyes seemed to stare through her. "Loki!" She cursed as she spun her hammer and swung it forward. "I should have known! Thy tricks end today, this I swear!"
Rearing back, the dragon bellowed and expelled a gigantic fireball from its gaping maw. Easily dodging the blast, Lady Thor threw her hammer directly down the monster's mouth. Unseen by her, Loki laughed in triumph.
Before she could move, or even worry about the mystical time limit that would change her back into Jane Foster, the sky around her was enveloped in fire. The dragon ceased to be as flame rushed everywhere. Cursing her luck, Lady Thor tried to cover herself, but she quickly found her oxygen depleted as fire consumed everything.
Back on Earth
"What the devil just happened?" The scene was pandemonium in the control room. Men rushed back and forth, trying to figure out the cause of the explosion.
"We don't know sir, but it looks like the missile exploded."
"What about Lady Thor, where's she?"
"We…don't know sir. It looks like the bomb took her out in the blast."
Jane slowly opened her eyes. Spots swam and danced before her, forcing them shut. Her head swam and she gradually felt pressure on her legs and arms. "Am I in a hospital?"
Hearing footsteps, she tried once more to open her eyes. When they finally focused on her guest, she suddenly wished they were closed again. Standing before her was Thor. She had never seen him before in person, but the uniform and hair were the same as hers. She tried to speak, but it felt like someone had clamped something over her mouth.
"Brother, where art thou?" Loki's voice rang out. Entering the room, he smiled broadly as he stared down at his captive. "Ah, I see thou art checking in with my prisoner. What say thou?"
"This was the mortal who stole my birthright?" Thor raised an eyebrow. He patted Mjolnir as it hung from his belt. "A strange jest brother. Wouldn't I have recalled such a pitiful creature?"
"Does the wolf remember the ant?" Loki smirked as Jane tried to speak. "No brother, thou were not well when this thief stole what is yours. What's important is that you are whole and alive again." Gently steering him away, Loki shot a glance back over his shoulder. "Come, let us join High Father Odin!" Jane screamed silently as she tried to move.
Alone, Jane swore. "What? I can't talk when there are people around? Great." The chain that bound her arms and legs were solid iron. "No lock, but that doesn't mean anything. Probably just magic, so force is out of the question." Looking around her cell, she tried to roll, but found the chains had suddenly affixed themselves to the wall and floor. "Great, just great."
Thor was confused. All around him his friends and family drank and sang praises of his return, yet he still felt like something was wrong. Loki stood up and signaled for silence. "Fellow gods, you know that I have often been at odds with some of you." Many of the assembled agreed. "But I stand before you changed!"
Odin slammed his goblet down. "Yes my son, you have made me most proud these past few months!"
"Thank you father, but there a hidden reason for my being here." Turning to Thor, he raised his flagon. "With my brother by my side, father, I ask your permission to attack those foolish mortals who shammed us!"
Jane slid down the wall to the floor. "No point denying it, I'm stuck." A figure at the door caught her attention. Trying to cry out, she silently cursed as her mouth froze.
The door to the cell slowly opened. In the doorway stood an older woman. Her dress was regal and her hair white. "My name is Frigga. I understand you are the mortal who wielded my son's hammer?"
Jane frantically nodded, hoping the message was clear. Frigga glanced down at her. "Those chains!" Kneeling, she lightly touched the metal. As her fingers brushed against the metal, the binding metal broke and fell away. "Clever, using the same bounds that once held Loki." She looked down as Jane pointed to her mouth. She shook her head. "Of that spell I can not help you. Loki's magic has grown strong. You must hurry to Earth, only there can you free yourself." Helping her up, she lead her outside to a waiting horse. "My sons are going to attack Midgard." Looking at Jane's horrified expression, Frigga put her hand on her shoulder. "Yes, I know. I have seen you battle. You honor us all." Thrusting the reigns into her hands, she urged her on. "Now go!"
Jane rode towards Bifrost, silently praying to everything she could think of that she wasn't too late. "Loki and Thor? How can I stop them? And what about Don?"
Thor laughed merrily as he strolled past the shocked onlookers. "Brother, these words, 'United Nations', what do they mean?"
"In a moment? Absolutely nothing at all!" Loki joined in the laughter as they easily made their way past the security. With a wave of Loki's hands the cement under the mortal men's feet suddenly changed to water. "But let us remember Odin's words, brother, 'We must only avenge ourselves on the mortals who enslaved you'" Loki mocked Odin's tone.
Thor stopped as he unhooked his hammer. "Aye, but I thought we captured that one?"
Loki shook his hand. "Aye, THAT one, there are others, and their crest is over yonder." He pointed to the blue and white U.N. seal.
"Then let us remind these mortals who the true gods are!" Thor shouted as he tossed his hammer. The mystic Mjolnir spiked through the air and easily shattered the symbol of man. The delegates mostly sat still, horrified and amazed at the sight before them. Thor easily scattered many of them as he snatched his hammer on its return flight. Stepping onto the platform, his voice rang out over the panicked din. "Mortals, hear me! Before you stands a god, Thor, god of thunder! You've born witness to my might, be there any among you who will stand against me?"
The United Kingdom delegate shouted first. "Mankind will never be dominated!"
Loki snapped his fingers. In a flash, the man's chair turned into a spring that propelled the hapless mortal several rows down, landing with a crash on top of several other delegates. "We beg to differ."
Jane blinked at the noise around her. The horse vanished under her, leaving her standing in an alleyway. The buildings around her were a fairly standard brown and gray, leaving her unsure of just where she was; the street rumbling under her feet and the hordes of armed policemen gave her a pretty big clue. Stepping out into the madness, Jane gasped as Thor and Loki hovered over the United Nations building. "How can I stop them?"
As the police and arriving national guardsmen opened fire, to absolutely no effect, Jane dashed down the sidewalk to the nearest telephone booth. Ducking inside, she hastily dropped her dime in and dialed the office. "Hello?" Sif's voice answered.
"Sif! Is Thrud with you?"
"No, she went out when we heard word, what happened?"
"Long story, do you think-" Jane's words died as she saw Thurd sailing through the air toward her father and uncle. "Never mind, just meet me at the UN. Bring as many weapons as you can." Slamming the phone down, she darted towards the crowd.
Thurd smiled as she launched herself at the two men she hated the most. "Father, thy end is near!" Her flight ended as she crashed into an invisible barrier.
"Sorry child, but the adults are talking." Loki snidely joked as he caused her to fall. She landed on her feet, her sword drawn.
Thor put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Hold!" Leaping down from the platform Loki had created, Thor unhooked his hammer. "Well child, thy wish to battle warms my heart."
Thurd's grim smile grew wide. "Aye father, 'tis rare that one gets one's heart desire. I shall make the most of it!" She slashed at his head, but he brought his hammer in time.
Thor furrowed his brow. In the past his heart snag when he fought, and fighting against his own kin made him prouder than all, but as he parried her blows and struck his own, there seemed to be something off; a buzzing in his ears, like a forgotten dream. He pushed it to the back of his mind as Thurd's attacks pushed him back.
Loki frowned. The mortals had ceased their attack, contenting themselves to watch his brother and niece fight it out before them. "Strike you fool, finish it!" He hissed under his breath. Lowering himself to the ground, he stretched out his fingers as he prepared a spell. "This has come too far to be ruined by your foolishness brother!" A shadow appeared over him. "What?" Turning around, his eyes widened as a car, flung by the arriving Sif, sailed through the air towards him.
He didn't have time to react as the metal crumbled against him. The impact knocked him down and buried under nearly a ton of Detroit steel and glass. Sif, sword in hand, watched the pile as her daughter continued to fight with her father.
Steel clashed against Uru as Thurd continued her attack. "Ho daughter, thy skills have improved!"
"Aye, for this day!" Lunging forward, she smiled as Thor blocked her thrust. Reaching down, she twisted her handle, releasing a small dagger. With one quick motion, the blade whistled through the air and struck the thunder god in the side. "Now father, my beloved will be avenged!"
Thor staggered back, blood flowing freely from his side. Laughing despite the pain, he tapped his hammer upon the ground. Instantly, the sky grew dark as thunderclouds appeared. Lighting streaked across the sky. "Thou art a fine warrior, but I am still your better!" Lighting shot out of the sky and struck Thrud's sword.
"NO!" Sif and Jane both screamed as they darted forward. Jane knelt by Thrud's smoking form as Sif put herself between her husband and daughter.
"Stand back woman!" Thor lifted his hammer overhead.
"Nay!" Sif dropped into a defensive stance.
The nagging feeling in Thor's mind increased. Before him stood his wife and a mortal, yet a voice seemed to be urging him not to attack. "Why, why do I feel this way? Sif is standing against me, and the mortal is of no value."
Loki freed himself from the wreck. "Brother, now is your chance! Slay them all!"
Thor stopped. Tapping the hammer upon the ground again, he banished the storm. Slowly, as if he wasn't totally aware of what he was saying, he looked at his brother. "No Loki, our battle should be with the mortals, not our fellows."
Loki inwardly screamed. He had planned everything for so long, so perfectly, only to have it all dashed? With much force, he bowed his head. "Agreed brother. Forgive my outburst, the rage of battle clouded my mind."
Thor nodded and walked past the stunned Sif. "We'll bring them before Odin later. Now, let us find this treacherous mortal that stole what is mine."
Loki's humor improved. "There she is!" Loki pointed to Jane.
"Oh boy." Jane started to panic. A fight between her and either of the gods would be a short one. Standing up, she slowly approached the pair, a plan rapidly forming in her mind. "The hammer! If I can separate it from Thor's grasp, he might turn into Don again!" The only part that she drew a blank on was how to do the last part. "Wait!" Jane held up her hands. "I give up!"
"You surrender?" Thor looked at her with contempt.
"Yes, just don't hurt anyone else!"
"Jane, you can't!" Sif cried out, but Jane looked back at her.
"I have to. Get Thurd to a doctor, she looks like she's going into shock." Jane turned back around as Sif gently picked her daughter up and carried her away from the battle. She managed one final look back before she escaped.
Standing before the two gods, Jane's mind went blank. "Funny, I always heard you see everything before you die." She straightened up and looked Thor directly in the eye. "Alright, let's get this over with."
"Very well." Thor reached out and roughly gripped her wrist. Raising his hammer high, she stared into his clear blue eyes. "Prepare yourself mortal, you must face none other than my father Odin for your crimes!"
"Wait!" Loki put his hand on his brother's shoulder. "Those fools!" He hissed inwardly. "If this mortal argues her case before Odin, all might be lost!" Whispering, he leaned in close to Thor. "Brother, All Father did say to revenge yourself, did he not?"
"This was the mortal wench who stole your birthright, who attacked me, and look, drove your own family to attack you! Does she not deserve to be destroyed?"
Thor lowered his hammer. "Aye, but that is for Odin to decide."
"You thick-headed buffoon of a god!" Loki screamed mentally. "Oh course, forgive me." Looking at Jane, Loki noticed something. "That mortal chariot must have addled my senses! My spell is gone, but who could have removed it? No matter." With a quick wave of his hand, an invisible barrier formed over Jane's mouth.
Jane blinked. She tried to say something to Thor, something to reach the man inside the god, but all of a sudden she felt something cover her mouth. "Loki!" She started to panic. "What can I do now?"
The sky began to darken. "Thor, is this your doing?" Loki drew back.
"Nay, 'tis not my hands that cause this." Thor looked in confusion.
Jane looked around. The assembled people stood motionless, their eyes blank. Were they under a spell as well?
A shaft of light appeared in the center of the street. A light so blinding everyone, god and mortal alike, had to shy away from it. When the light faded, Odin and Frigga stood among them. "So," Odin's voice rumbled like thunder, "this is the mortal who sought to defy the will of the gods?"
Jane paled before the sight. What could she say, or even how? Loki stepped forward. "Yes she is milord, brought before you for judgment."
Odin glared at her with his one eye. Even if she had her voice, what could she say? "Sorry, I didn't know that walking stick was actually property of Thor? That the man I loved was actually a Norse god of thunder?"
"Well, what can thou say in they defense?"
Jane tried to force open her mouth, but she couldn't. "See, her silence condemns her!" Loki quickly pointed out.
Unseen by the trickster, Frigga caught Jane's glance. With a few waves of her fingers, Jane felt her mouth free again. "I'm only going to get one shot at this!" Spinning around, she clenched her hands into fists and slammed them both into Thor's wound. The thunder god let out a cry and staggered. Carrying herself forward, Jane threw herself into his hammer, making him drop it. When it made contact with the ground, two dazed mortals now found themselves facing the fury of Odin himself.
"What happened?" Don shook his head.
Jane carefully took the withered old cane out of his hands and placed before Odin. "Here, if this is what you want so badly, then just take it and leave us alone."
"Impudent mortal!" Odin's voice shattered car windows. "You think I care about some weapon more than for my own flesh and blood? I order you to give my son back his birthright, so that he may rejoin us in blessed Asgard!"
"Now look here," Don stepped forward. "I am not your son! My name is Donald Blake. I know who I am and what I am, and I refuse to be a part of whatever madness you have cooked up!"
Odin turned his wrathful gaze on Jane. "Wench! You did this, you killed my son!"
To the surprise of everyone present, Frigga stepped forward. "Husband, a word?" Placing her hand on his shoulder, the queen of the gods looked at the two mortals. "The world of Midgard holds no place for us. The mortals have their own paths now, and not even the Norns can predict their fate. Our time here is over husband, accept it."
"No!" Odin raged. Pointing his spear at Jane, he held the weapon overhead, pointing straight at her. "Look upon me mortal, and know that due to your theft and craven actions, my son is dead! He will never rejoin his true family, nor will he know the true joy of battle. Without that, he is lost to Valhalla forevermore!" A tear rolled down his lone eye.
Jane stared at the weapon and into the face of a being older than she could imagine. She pushed the spear tip away and casually picked up the cane. Narrowing her eyes, she spoke slowly and carefully.
"Look, I've been understanding, but no more. Yes, I took the hammer, but I didn't mean too. I've saved lives and protected this planet, which is more than I can say for you. So listen, if no one else is going to use that power, I will. And if I see any more gods, giants, trolls, or anything out of a Brother's Grimm story, so help me I will march upon your city and bring it down around your ears!"
Odin lowered his weapon. "Mortal, none have spoken to me like that in your lifetime. I have slain giants for less effrontery. I say again, give my son back what is his."
"And I say again, I am not, nor will I ever be, your son!" Don spat. "I refuse and rebuke you! Whatever I was before, I know that I am Don Blake and nothing, not magic, not some fancy five and dime light show, is going to change that. So ship off pal, I'm not interested." For an extra emphasis, he threw his arm around Jane's waist.
Loki inwardly grinned. True, he hadn't expected everything to happen as it had, but if Thor were out of his hair for good, then he could forgive the slight. His erstwhile sister would still be a problem, but he was already forming plans to use her. "Come mortals, don't let me down just yet!"
Jane tightened her jaw. Her gaze and Odin's never wavered. After what seemed like an eternity, Odin looked away. "Very well. We will retreat for now mortal, but do not think this matter is resolved. My son will return, one way or another." The three gods marched off and vanished into a shaft of light. Odin hoisted his spear overhead and slammed into the ground.
With a near deafening thunderclap, the streets and people were restored. There was much confusion as the guardsmen and police wondered where their targets had gone. In all the madness, few noticed a lame man and his nurse walking off together. Jane held the walking stick to her side as they hailed a cab. "Don,"
"Save it for latter." Don closed his eyes and leaned back. His mind was mostly blank, but there was a nagging little feeling at the back of it. What if Odin was right? Had his entire existence been a joke? Like some sort of cosmic equivalent to having to clean the erasers after school? Glancing over at Jane, he saw her and the cane. Were they meant to be together? "Jane and Lady Thor, or Jane and myself?" The roar of the New York traffic gave him no answer.
Jane sighed as she stared at the walking stick. "All this power, and I can't seem to do anything with it." Looking out the window, she was tempted to throw it into traffic. She thought better of it as she dwelled on Odin's words. "I have this power. I found the stick and used it, but it was meant to be Don's? He refused it. Does this mean I can keep it?" She let the cane slip from her fingers and watched as it bounced against the seat in front of her. "Or does it mean Odin is going to come again? I knew that look in his eye; there isn't a chance that he is going to let this go. And what about Frigga? She seems to be on my side, but how much influence does she have?"
Looking up into the midtown skyline, she found no answers in the towering spires of metal. "And Loki, what's his angle in all of this?" Casting a sideways glance at the cane, she found herself wishing that Don had been the one to find it. "Wishing won't make it so." She steeled herself, as the cane seemed to start bouncing under its own power. "Alright, if I'm the one to have this gift, then I'm going to be the one who uses it." Reaching out, she snagged the cane with one hand. "Mortal or immortal, I have the responsibility to use this power. I can't let someone like Loki run free on this world."
"Someone has to stop it. It might as well as be me."
Journey Into a Mailbox
Now for the fan mail
From MalimNice read
And from Gen xNot bad
Hmm, noticing a trend here…
Well, I've been wondering all along if you were planning to set things up for Jane and Don to finally get married and enjoy the "happy ending" they never could get in the original continuity. The suggestion in this chapter that Odin COULD permanently spilt Thor and Don into different individuals- IF he happened to feel the overwhelming need to go to all that trouble, I suppose- offers one possible way to a "happily ever after" scenario. I'm still not sure what you actually intend to do, but at least you're dangling that possibility in front of us for the time being. And since we end up with Don Blake finally "back home" in dear old Asgard, even though he didn't particular want to be there, it seems as if you're moving closer to showing Odin reaching some sort of "final decision" regarding just who is going to end up wielding Mjolnir in the long run, after things get settled.
Wow L. when you go all out, you aren't kidding! First, let me say thanks for pointing out the grammatical nitpicks. They aren't continuity errors, so no No-Prize I'm sad to say, but they DO help me out. "Settled"? You make it sound like I'm going to quit. There will be decisions, of gods and hammers, in the upcoming issues, so don't fret about that.
They Call Me Bruce
This chapter was good dude!
I guess I can't argue with that.
Uh-oh, I can see that things are going to be so swell for Lady Thor
Plus with all the female versions of the Marvel Heroes, it would be fun to see your version of the Avengers, sometime in the future.
Once again, this is a great work and I can't wait for the next chapter in your adventure.
Avengers, you say? Hmm….
Keep watching the monitors, True Believer, keep watching the monitors…
From Agent00soulWow-you paced that like a movie script! Are you a professional writer in YOUR "secret identity"?
Well, if I told you, it wouldn't be a secret, now would it?
And finally, the arch mistress of the Web, Tiffani herselfYeah, you did your usual wonderful job. Great work, thanks for sharing
This story was based on "Thor and Loki Attack the Human Race", which was first published in Journey Into Mystery#94 (July 1963). Credits to Stan Lee (story), Joe Sinnott (art and ink), and Sam Rosen (letters).
Tune in next time when Lady Thor battles "The Demon Duplicators"
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