Doug handed Tom a piece of cloth.

"Now, the whole point to being the bullies of school is to rule with an iron fist!"

"Doug, I've always been the one bullied…I don't know anything about bullying others," Tom pointed out.

"Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, the whole point of being a McQuaid is always be sure of yourself. Don't mess up and start stuttering on me, okay?" Doug asked.

Tom nodded his head and tied the cloth around his hair.

"Okay, so….did you do the homework?" Doug asked. Tom pulled out the papers.

"It was easy, I remembered everything from my high school class," Tom smiled.

"Don't tell me you were the kid who sat up front with a pen protector?" Doug gave him a look.

"It wasn't a pen protector; but I did have bleach in my locker," Tom replied.

"You are weird," Doug shook his head.

"Not as weird as some people," Tom rolled his eyes.

"Okay, forget the homework, from now on, you can't do it, all right?"

"Why not?"

"You just can't!"

"Okay….so then…what are we gonna tell the teacher?"

"Who cares, we'll come up with something, see, the thing with excuses is that they're the best when given the last moment because everyone knows it's a bunch of BS," Doug waved his hand.

"Right…why is that?"

"Tommy, don't ask stupid questions," Doug glared. The man in question just gave a charming smile in return.


"Mr. and Mr. McQuaid, where is your homework?"

Tommy blinked at the woman before him, unfortunately, Doug was behind him and he had to keep his cover. That meant that he had to give some smart assed reply and hope the teacher didn't get too offended because of it. No doubt, they would make a trip to the principal's office by the time the day was over.

"I was abducted by aliens, Dougie was abducted by the Loc Ness Monster and when the two met they went on to make gross alien/prehistoric animal sex, so…we never got it done…" Tommy said with a smirk.

"To the Principal's office!" the teacher pointed to the door.


Jenco had waited a whole week for the report; and it was still not on his desk. For some reason he found it within himself to blame Penhall for this one. But he called in both Penhall and Hanson.

"Where is the report?" he asked.

"Err…" was all Doug could say, but Jenco got the feeling that Tom wanted to be a smart ass by the smirk on his face.

"Doug decided to take work home with him; Dorothy wanted dinner, and somehow the report got mixed with the chili they had last night," Tom replied.

"Oh…well, I want it by tomorrow," Jenco shook his head. There was no way Doug and his girlfriend ate the report without noticing.

Doug started coughing a little, and soon it became hacking, once he was done he unclenched his hand and made face. In his hand was a soggy piece of paper with writing on it. Jenco sent them away. Maybe Tom's excuses wasn't as stupid as he had thought it was.


A/N – I was looking for the top ten excuses never to give a teacher. And I got inspired to write this. The thing Tom say's is all my own though….especially the alien/prehistoric animal thing. lol