"If we discover a desire within us that nothing in this would can satisfy, also we should begin to wonder if perhaps we were created for another world."
--C. S. Lewis (1898 – 1963)
She tossed and turned in her sleep. For the passed week she hadn't been able to sleep, plagued by dreams of what was and what could have been. All she could see was her beloved Narnia and all of the friends she had there, and the one person she had fallen for above all others. Her desire for that world and the life she once had in it was so great that if hurt her heart to be in England or think of Narnia. It wasn't fair that she had been told that she could and never would return. She tried to be understanding, she tried to show that the decision didn't effect her as much as if really did. She had to be strong for Lucy, Edmund, and Peter…most of all she had to be strong for Caspian. If he knew how much her leaving actually hurt, who knew what he would have done. Would he have asked Aslan to send him here to England, a world he had no knowledge of? Whatever the decisions he made they could have changed the delicate balance of the world they loved and risked their lives to protect. And no matter how much she wanted to stay behind with him, she couldn't and wouldn't risk the freedom and lives of the Narnians, as she leaving did the last time. Who's to say her staying wouldn't cause a bigger and deeper problem…
So she stayed and vowed that she would try to forget Narnia, and Caspian altogether. It was for the best anyways for both of them if they just forgot. It had been a week in her world, and if a year in Narnia could be 1300 years, what could a week be…of a day, or a second there. He was probably married, he probably had children, and he could be dead. The last thought made her heart twist and her stomach ache, she could handle the thought of him married and having children, if was a natural course that being King demanded. But his death, the thought always made her wish she could be the same.
And that always made her realize that no matter how hard she tried to forget, there could be no way that she could push away the love she held for him because as much as it hurt to remember, her memories of him and the world she loved and desired to be in were the only things keeping her going. But she would put on the brave face for her siblings, she had to push all her feelings and love towards them, because the one thing that being in Narnia taught her, was that her family was above all the most important thing she had to hold on too. Queen Susan the Gentle was in the past…being Susan Pevensie was now.
He stood on the balcony of his bed chamber looking out to the southern sky. The sun was setting and the rays were casting their magical watercolors of orange, red, and pink across the once clear blue skies. The light danced off his dark hair casting a halo around him where his crown usually sat. It had been twenty five years since the day the kings and queens of old had left Narnia. But in his mind it felt as if it were only a few moments ago. His heart broke every second his mind relived Queen Susan walking through the tree Alsan had opened and watched helplessly as she disappeared into her own world. Had she wanted to stay? He kept asking himself tirelessly, had she truly wanted more time to be with him and find out where their lives could have taken them? He had to believe that she did, for why else would she have kissed him and held on to him for that short while.
He was forty five now. Strange to think that in her world she was probably still a girl. The girl he had fallen in love with so long ago. She would still look the same. With the spattering of freckles across her ivory skinned face. Her hair would still be the dark mahogany that his fingers burned to run through. Her lips would still be young and youthful, not thinned and lined with age. She would be beautiful now if she were here and aged. He could almost picture her if she had stayed behind with him. She would be taller, and her body more full from the years that had passed. Her hair would be a little lighter, and the dustings of gray and white would be gently starting to come in. The elegant lines of time would mark her still ivory face, and those lines he would cherish the most because they would be the evidence of their time together. The laughs, the tears, the little moments that meant so much to two people in love would be like a painting made just for them.
He spent every night out on that balcony when the sun was beginning to set watching, waiting, and hoping that she would walk through her world and into his arms. Those hopes her knew were futile. She was destined for the world she was born to just as he was destined for the world he had been born to. It didn't matter that his every desire lied with her, and in her heart. It couldn't matter. She knew that more than he did when she left. But the dreams kept him alive and kept him thriving, hoping for another day where he could watch the sunset and hope to see her. At those moments he was King Caspian the tenth. At those moments he didn't have the weight of Narnia on his shoulders. At those moments he wasn't supposed to be the good husband to his wife and the loving father to his children. At those moments he was allowed to be twenty one again, and he was allowed to be a simple prince that had fallen in love with one of Narnia's greatest queens.
He could pretend that she was the one that sat next to him on the thrones his mother and father had. And the children who he did love were hers and he loved them just a little more. It wasn't fair to his wife he knew it. But she had known before they had married that his heart belonged to another and always would no matter the circumstances. He cared for her; it wasn't possible that he couldn't when she was a kind woman and she understood his feelings. She never complained about not having his heart, and she always gave him these moments alone since the beginning. She kept the children occupied while he stood out on the balcony lost in his own thoughts.
When the sun set completely and night had been cast over Narnia, he became the King, husband, and father everyone loved. He would walk the halls to his children's rooms, tuck them in and tell them the stories of the Kings and Queens of old. Of the great battles that they had won and the kindness they had shown to those people whom they didn't even know. He told them of Aslan the great Lion who with a giant roar could bring forth the river god, and make the trees awaken from a thousand year slumber. Then when they were sleeping safe in their beds, he would go to his and lay with his wife and surrender to sleep where he once again could be with Susan and if only for a few hours, have the life he had dreamed of for so long.
Aslan stood in a clearing just outside of the shuddering woods looking at the sky. He could feel the earth stirring as it had long ago. Something terrible was coming, something not even he could had for seen. For the first time in over a thousand years, he could feel the cold surrounding him and for the first time the Great Lion was afraid of what was to come….
Well it's a little on the short side but it's just a prologue. I hope you enjoy, please review…
I do not own or have any association with Narnia or C. S. Lewis's family. I just am a great fan of his works and imagination.