Disclaimer: Do. Not. Own. D8

Summary: Neji blinked. It was a little heart warming; rather funny and without a doubt the most frightening thing he had ever been subjected to. ShikaNeji. Slash. One shot.

Note: ...My muse is an extremely tricksy person. ¬.¬ Worse still, she knows I love it. XD

Safety first!

If there was one thing that Nara Shikamaru hated more than getting out of bed, it was waking up. And if there was one thing that he hated more than that, it was when the sunlight forced him to do so.

Leaning up onto his elbows and squinting, Shikamaru glared up at the window; the sun was streaming in, warm and bright onto the bed and, more specifically, the pillows. He knew he had forgotten to do something last night and now he was paying for it. Not that it was his place to shut the blinds, nor his fault that he had been distracted. Looking down at his side, his scowl softened. Hyuuga Neji lay next to him, on his side and curled into a ball, his head was off the pillow completely as he snuggled into Shikamaru's side. Eyes shut gently and lips parted, the boy's breath puffed steadily against the bottom of the Nara's ribs; long hair spread out like a fan. Silly, troublesome, gorgeous Hyuuga.

Twisting to lean over the boy, Shikamaru let his face fall into a soft smile. And gently, so very gently, the lazy ninja traced a finger down the side of Neji's face, stroking his cheek and stirring him out of his slumber - after all, if he couldn't sleep, why should his partner?

White eyes blinked twice before they started to focus. Neji yawned, a hand coming up to cover his mouth before he stretched his limbs out, back arching like a cat. He relaxed again, turning his body to lay on his back more, and smiled softly up at his lover.

"Good morning."

Shikamaru snorted as quietly as he could. "Hm. Troublesome sun woke me."

The older of the two chuckled. "So you decided to wake me too? Despite the fact that I have a training session in a few hours?"

"Well," Shikamaru grinned - possibly a good thing, depending on who you asked - and lent closer, half pinning the boy beneath him. "Perhaps we could have our own... training session. To warm you up."

"Oh?" Neji raised an eyebrow, a smirk starting to form on his lips as his hand moved up to trail up Shikamaru's side. "Interesting proposition. What exactly di-"

Three sharp, loud bangs on one of the wooden planes outside of Neji's door cut him off. The two froze, startled.

"Neji-Kun!?" Neither answered, eyes wide. "Neji! It is your youthful and alert sensei! It is time to awaken, Neji, the sun is shinning and I must speak with you!"

Both boys missed a beat before springing to action, scrambleing for clothes. Neji flew across the room, pulling his shirt on -dimly registering that the underwear he had yanked on was, in fact, not his - while picking up the rest of the thrown items that were scattered around his room.

"Quick." He hissed, shoveing the pile into Shikamaru's hands.

"Quick?" The boy whispered back. "Quick where?!"

Neji made a frustrated motion with his hands, looking worriedly over his shoulder as Gai continued to call out for him. "How am I to know? The wardrobe! The bed!"

Hesitating for only a second, Shikamaru gripped the bundle of clothes and jumped to the wardrobe. It was taller than him by more than a head, luckily, and much wider too. Carefully pushing the hanging robes aside, he stepped in and allowed the door to fall almost-shut behind him. And, just a second later, Neji allowed Gai into his room.

Gai boomed with happiness, speaking loudly about the sun and the birds and the flowers and oh-the-youthful-ness of it all. Shikamaru zoned out; counting the swirls on the wood.

"So," Neji was saying, white eyes darting around to room to be certain of no evidence. "No training?"

Gai threw his head back, a hand flying up to rest against his forehead in a dramatic pose. "My most sincerest apologies, Neji! Oh what woe it is when my missions start to affect my youthful teams training! Oh the drama! The torment! I shall make it up to you, Lee and TenTen thrice-fold once I return, you have my word! Promise of a lif-"

"It's fine, Sensei." Neji said, cutting him off as his eye started to twitch. "Have you informed Lee and TenTen?"

The older man hummed. "No." He confessed. "Lee shall be most upset!" Tears started to fill his eyes and Neji regretted ever waking up. "Oh how shall I make this up to my most youthfull student!?"

"Lee is a ninja." Neji hissed, trying to control the urge to use the 64 hands of Hakke on his teacher in order to get him out. "He understands the importance of missions."

Gai wiped his tears, face still upset. "You are right! I underestimated Lee! I shall be brave and tell him face to face before I leave."

Neji almost sweat dropped. Almost. "And TenTen." He reminded.

"Ah." Gai said, pulling a thoughtful face. "Perhaps I shall leave a note for our dear Kunoichi. I have not forgotten the last time she was woken early!"

The young Hyuuga repressed a shudder. No, none of them had forgotten. The three males of team Gai prided themselves on their fearlessness and on their reputation; they had sworn never to speak of 'The Incident' again. "Good idea."

"Yes." Gai cleared his throat, a bright smile appearing on his face again - the light from the window, catching his teeth as per usual. "I shall bid you goodbye now Neji!"

Neji nodded - desperately trying to keep the smile off his face. "Right." ... "Good luck."

"Oh." Neji's teacher paused, reaching down to his pouch to pull a box out. He threw it at Neji, who caught it without thinking.

Eyebrow raised, Neji inspected it quickly; freezing when he saw the label. Mouth hanging open, his eyes darted up to stare at Gai.

The man grinned; raising a hand to give Neji a thumbs up. "Safety first, Neji! Safety first!" And with a wink at Neji's wardrobe and a blur of green, Gai was gone, leaving Neji to stare at the cardboard box in his hands.

Condoms. Gai had given him, Neji; the Hyuuga progody, condoms. Neji blinked. It was a little heart warming; rather funny and without a doubt the most frightening and disturbing thing he had ever been subjected to.

There was a creak and then Shikamaru was standing next to him. He handed the Nara the box. Eyebrows raised slowly.

"You can just chuck these away." He stated. "There's no way I'm using anything with the words 'Enjoy youthfull pleasure with responsibility' on it."

Note: I wonder if the condom packet has a picture of Gai on it.

Disturbing.

God damn, you DON'T want to know how and where this came from XD.

Reviews are youthfull love.

x