So I tried to fix the paragraphs in edit mode, and it worked but when I went to view it, it was still the same. So I'm just re-posting this updated version, and I'm deleting the other one. But thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. Sorry again for the long paragraphs and hopefully this is better.
Edwards point of view
The night started off just like any other night in Forks.
I laid there with the love of my existence curled up in my arms. Her breathing sounded like a song, almost like her lullaby I wrote for her a couple years ago. Her skin so warm and soft against my cold flesh. Her smell was the most beautiful smell a person, or monster could ask for. La tua cantante as the Volturi called it. Her scent, her blood sang to me.
Never in a billion years would I ever give in to the temptation to do what my animalistic instinct wanted me to do. I had controlled that since the very beginning, and she knew that I would never harm her. But there was a different kind of worry growing in me now. A different kind of animalistic urge was calling out to me, a more human urge for once.
Bella has always talked in her sleep. It was one of the many things I was going to miss dearly when she changed. I felt a little awkward listening to her at first when she talked in her sleep. But I had promised her that I wouldn't leave her alone at night, or forever for that matter. So naturally I had no other choice but to listen to her.
Most things were just random babbling, I found it adorable and it just made me chuckle. But some things were not random babbling. Sometimes she would say my name like a whisper almost.
I would always look down to see if she was awake, trying to talk to me, but she was always sleeping. Which just caused me to love and adore her more, if that's possible. I knew she was dreaming about me, I just didn't know what the dream was.
Lately the whispers in her dreams sounded different. Louder and in a more sultry sound, almost moaning. It really surprised me the first time I had heard it. But I tried to tune it out. Tried not to get to caught up in her personal dreams. Then one night about 2 weeks after the sounds changed to moans I couldn't tune it out anymore. Something else was calling out to me. Something that I couldn't ignore any longer.
I had wrapped the comforter around me and then around her, so she wouldn't get cold when she lay across my chest. I had done this for awhile now, so it was just as routine as ever. I had kissed her good night like always and said 'I love you, Bella' and she retorted with a big smile on her face, which caused me to smile in return.
I really did love her more than anything, and she knew that to be the most truthful thing ever. I'm guessing that's why she always showed me that big smile every time I said it to her. I hummed the lullaby to her as she drifted off to sleep. That's the night when the 'routine' started to change.
Not a mumble or a word drifted out of her mouth in 2 hours, it was actually peaceful. I lay there holding her in my arms, gazing out the window thinking about how lucky I was, and how I still to this day don't understand how someone this beautiful and special could love me so much. And then I heard the sweet sounds coming from my beauty.
Caught me a little bit off guard even though it has happened almost every night for the past 2 weeks. I still never got use to it, it made me feel more human every time those sounds escaped her beautiful mouth. Those sweet moans and whimpers made my head spin like never before. Yes this night was very different. These sounds were very different.
I felt her squirming while she lay half on top of me. Her chest heaving up and down, almost as if she was having a panic attack. I contemplated whether or not to wake her up. I almost shook her shoulder when suddenly she started calling my name in the same sounds as the moans.
There she lay on me, my little clumsy Bella, moaning my name in pleasure. I froze in awe. Thankfully Charlie was out camping and fishing this weekend or else he would've been in here in an instant. I decided not to wake her, I mean Charlie wasn't here, and I didn't want to disturb her.
The moans deepened, she was almost gasping for air as she yelled my name over and over again. I lay there perfectly still in a shocking state of mind. I felt a surge of something pulse through my body, almost like electricity.
I have felt a lesser intensity of this wonderful sensation before when Bella and I would deepen our kisses. Only it would go away as soon as I broke away and gave her the same old speech. God I hated saying those words to her over and over again.
I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and make love to her all night and day. I just couldn't live with myself if I had hurt her in any way. I had promised her we would try after we were married which was still a couple months away. But I still wasn't absolutely positive I could control myself.
She has no idea how badly I want this just as much as she does. I've tried to explain it to her, and she would just nod her head and smile, but I could tell she was trying to fight back the tears. It killed me every time this happened. But it had gotten worse lately.
There was something inside of me yearning for the next step more than ever now. I could feel the waves of pleasure circulating throughout my entire body. I knew it was wrong to derive pleasure out of eavesdropping into her dreams but at this point I couldn't stop myself. I still laid there very still as to not disturb her.
I could smell her arousal which sent my head spinning. If I thought I was attracted to her blood the most I was wrong. This scent was unlike anything I have ever smelled in my existence. The most beautiful and intense and sweetest smell anyone could ever ask for. It sent me over the edge and something in my brain broke down.
I gently stroked her flushed cheek as she continued to moan my name. I moved my head down to hers and grasped her in my arms tightly. I could feel her warm, sweet breath on my cool face. She was driving me crazy, I couldn't keep this up much longer.
The barriers were starting to break apart all around me. The barriers I had put up in the first place were crumbling apart, and I the great thing was.. I didn't care. I didn't know where this new found confidence was coming from, but I definitely enjoyed it.
'Oh Edward…' poured out of her mouth so sweetly and pure. I cupped her face and stroked her bottom lip with my thumb. I bent my head forward and kissed her very softly on the lips as she moaned in pleasure.
"Bella" I whispered against her lips. She awoke gently and looked at me with wide eyes. She had to have known that I heard her sweet dream because her face turned the brightest of red and her eyes flickered away from mine.
"Bella" I whispered again putting my finger under her chin and tipping her face upwards so we locked eyes.
"Edward, was I…was I talking in my sleep again?" She looked so embarrassed I hesitated to tell her the truth. I nodded my head and smiled her favorite smile. She told me she called it her "crooked" smile.
I let out a little chuckle remembering that conversation. She went to pull away from me, probably to run away and cry, but I held her tight in my grip.
"Bella. Please don't be embarrassed love" I whispered into her ear. She pulled her head up from my chest and looked deeply into my eyes with an almost puzzled look on her face.
"So you heard everything?" she said.
"Well I'm not sure. All I heard was you making the sweetest sounds and saying my name." I said while twisting my fingers through her soft hair.
Her eyes started tear up again and as they did I pulled her face to mine and kissed her like I've never kissed her before. Her warm mouth felt incredible against my cold lips. I started to part my lips and let my tongue graze against her bottom lip. She jerked away and looked at me again puzzled. I didn't hesitate this time.
I pulled her back to me and did it again. This time I let my tongue part her lips and before I knew it I felt her hot tongue twist with mine. We both let out a moan which caused both of us to shiver in delight. No easy task to get a vampire to shiver, but somehow Bella could always do that to me.
Her hands tangled themselves in my hair which I love so much. She moaned into my mouth as my hand traveled down her side and rested upon her hip. I caressed her hip and slowly slid my hand down her thigh. Then in one swift but gentle movement I pulled her leg up so that she was half straddling me.
The last time I did that when she slept over for the first time had really shocked her. But this time she didn't move an inch. I think she knew this time was different, as did I. I pulled away from her, forgetting unlike me she had to breathe and she let out a whimper. Almost as if the whimper spoke 'I don't care if I suffocate, as long as I'm kissing you like that I'll die happy'. I smiled as I looked into her eyes with passion as my ice cold hand caressed the back of her knee.
Her lips were swollen from kissing so long and her breathing was uneven, almost as if she couldn't catch her breath. "Edward.." she began to say. I put my index finger to lips to cut her off.
"Bella, I don't know what's becoming of me". She looked at me confused.
"What I mean Bella is that it was my idea to wait until we were married. And now here I am torturing both of us, taking things farther than we ever have before." She shook her head a little bit and I blurted out "Bella I want to love you, I mean really love you". She stared at me in disbelief that I was actually saying that her.
"You mean your ready to make love to me?" She said. I smiled her favorite crooked smile and said "I'm more than ready and I'm sorry that I've tortured you with my own inner turmoil".
She put her hands on my face and kissed my cheek and replied "Silly vampire. You don't ever have to apologize to me for that. I understand why you have steered away from it, and I love you more for that. You're only trying to protect me, make sure nothing happens to me. But I know you would never hurt me, and I think now you believe in yourself like I have always believed in you."
The words poured out of her mouth like a song. If I could produce tears my eyes would've welled up like hers often do.
"I love you so much that I can't even find the right words to say."
"I swear Isabella Swan you're the only person on this earth that can cause a vampire to feel more human than most humans do on a day to day basis". She let out a chuckle and rolled over on top of me so she was fully straddling me. I leaned up so my back was against the headboard and I pulled her chest to mine.
Once again I cupped her hot face and brought her lips to mine. Her lips were parted before I had the chance to graze my tongue against her. Our tongues danced together like before except this time the passion ignited. She started to move on top of me. My hands wondered down her back and I started to play with the hem of her tank top.
I felt her nipples harden against my chest. I couldn't tell if it was from our kissing or if it was because my skin was as cold as ice. My hand made its way underneath her silky top and she let out a coarse moan. She pulled away from me and raised her arms in the air.
"Eager are we?" I smirked.
"More than eager". I smiled and gave her a chuckle and complied.
My ice cold fingers wrapped themselves around her waist and I slowly pushed the hem of her top up. I took in a deep breath as my I continued pulling the shirt up over her head. She was so damn beautiful I couldn't even believe it. She wasn't wearing a bra which kind of surprised me but I was grateful since I've never attempted to take one off before. Her cheeks flushed even more as I gasped at her beauty.
"You're so beautiful Bella, God you're so damn beautiful".
I clutched her back towards me and took her lips to mine. My hands wondered up her sides and traveled up to her beautiful, supple mounds. She let out a gasp and I felt her body responded. I could feel how hot she was against me in my lap. I could smell her arousal once again. God it was so overwhelming. It made me crazy with passion. I felt her hands tug at the bottom of my shirt and at almost the same speed I usually go at, my shirt was off and tossed to the floor.
"Wow, that's the fastest I've ever seen you move before". I chuckled.
"Ha ha ha". She choked out, sarcastically. I had to lighten the tension up a little bit or else we would both spontaneously combust. I grabbed her waist and flipped us over and positioned us so we were both lying down and I was on top of her. I shifted my weight so I wouldn't crush her slender body. Her perky nipples felt so incredibly good against mine. I took her mouth back into mine again and she moaned deep this time. My hand traveled down to her breast slowly. I knew I was torturing her with pleasure.
I have to admit I felt pretty good that I could do that to her, and that I was the only one that ever made her feel this way. My thumb flicked against her rock hard nipple and her back arched. We both moaned simultaneously. I left her mouth and started to trail my wet kisses down her neck to her collarbone then down to her chest. I came to her left breast and slowly took her in my mouth. Her back arched up even higher this time and she pulled at my hair. If I was human that probably would've hurt, but it didn't, it felt great.
I swirled my tongue around her very erect nipple while massaging her right breast, slowly flickering my thumb across her nipple. She moaned my name in ecstasy and I could feel her warm center against my cool stomach. I could feel how wet she was. It was driving me absolutely mad!
I left her beautiful breasts to trail kisses down her stomach landing my lips to her naval. I stuck my tongue in her belly button and she gasped so hard I thought she was literally choking. I looked up to see her shocked and aroused more than ever and I gave a quick crooked smile. I tangled my fingers around the drawstring of her pajama pants as I looked at her waiting for her to give me the approval I wanted. Hey I might be giving into temptation but I was still going to be gentleman to her.
She nodded her head almost as if saying 'are you kidding me? Of course!" I trailed my kisses back up to meet her lips as I slid her pants off. God the smell was even stronger now. I don't know if I could live without this smell again, hopefully I would never have to. As our tongues tangoed again I slid my hand down to her warmth. Her hips bucked up against my hand. I knew I was doing something right.
I caressed her throbbing nub and she gasped away from mouth. I reminded myself that she needed to breathe so I steered my kisses away from her mouth back down her neck to her left breast. She let out an intense 'mmmm' sound. And I just couldn't help to smile into her breast.
I concentrated on my hand as I slowly rubbed her throbbing bundle of nerves. Her fingers dug into my back which led me to believe that she wanted more. I slid my middle finger into her hot core very slowly as to not to hurt her in any way. I caught her mouth with mine again to feel her moan deeply into mine. I began slowly moving my finger in and out of her. She was so wet and smelled so good and it was all for me, and only me. This was driving me crazy, but in the best way.
I quickened my pace a little bit and she whimpered into my mouth some more. I entered my index finger along with my middle finger in her now. I knew she was virgin and she was pretty tight. I dreaded hurting her but it was inevitable that her first time would hurt. That's why I was trying to loosen her up as much as possible.
I slid another finger in so now I had three fingers in her warmth. She seemed to be enjoying it very much, no sign of pain crossed her face whatsoever, only pleasure. She started tightening up around my fingers as I was now quickly thrusting them into her but at a very gentle pace. She gasped for air again and her hips bucked upwards.
She must be close to climaxing I thought to myself.
I moved my head down to her hot core. As I kept entering her I flicked my tongue over swollen clit. I wanted, no I needed to taste her.
Easy I reminded myself.
Don't lose your senses. Think. You're in control now more than ever. There's nothing to be scared about. You wont ever hurt her. You love her.
All those thoughts overcrowded my mind and I finally came back down to earth. I was right. I knew I could do this. I was in control now more than ever, and it felt so damn good. I flicked my tongue harder against her and thrust my fingers quickly in and out of her, faster and faster.
"Edward…. Oh my god… Edward". She screamed and thrashed under me.
Her body tensed up and I could feel her center tighten against my fingers. She screamed once more then I felt her sweet juices flow onto my fingers as I kept thrusting my fingers in her. I slowed the pace and took my fingers out and dipped my tongue into her. I almost fainted when I tasted her sweetness on my tongue. No blood in the whole universe could ever taste as good as this did. I kissed her nub and led my mouth back up her clammy body. God even her sweat tasted amazing!
She looked at me semi perplexed as to what just happened.
"Are you ok, Bella?" I asked.
"Huh? Ya I'm fine." she giggled.
"Sorry my heads just a little cloudy right now. That was the most amazing thing I've ever felt in my entire life." she squeaked out.
"I'm glad you feel that way love". She looked over to me and raised and eyebrow, almost devilishly.
Uh oh I thought.
"You have way too many clothes Mr. Cullen." I smirked at her and nodded.
She flipped us back over so she was above me and trailed her hands down to my pajama bottoms. When I first started staying there with her I had always worn my regular clothes until one night she said 'don't you think you should slip into something more comfortable?' I let out another little chuckle and focused back on the current moment.
She tugged at the top of the drawstring just as I did and then within a flash she pulled them down taking my boxers down also. I never thought about self confidence, but at this moment I was feeling a little shy. I mean I too am a virgin, a much older virgin and never has anyone ever gazed upon me naked.
Just another thing we get to share together I thought to myself.
I was already extremely hard and couldn't tell if she gasped because of that or if it was because I was large. She looked up at me and I guess she could tell that I was acting more shy than I ever had before.
"You're perfect Edward". She reassured me with a big grin.
I smiled back at her letting my tension go as she deeply kissed me. I felt her hand gently grab me and now I could tell why she had gasped like that when I first touched her in that sensitive area. God it felt so good I didn't ever want it to stop.
She started to stroke me slowly and waves of pleasure crashed down over my body. Her kisses trailed down to my chest and she did the same things as I did. She flicked her tongue across my nipple and I bucked my hips just as she did. It was becoming clear to me that she was torturing me the way I had tortured her just a few minutes ago.
I put my hands behind my head not because I wanted to, because the pleasure was so overwhelming I was worried that I would crush her or something not ever meaning to. The hardest part for me was about to come shortly.
She looked into my eyes and whispered "make love to me Edward".
When she released me I grabbed onto her and flipped us over again so that I was on top of her. I positioned myself at her entrance, almost terrified to enter, knowing that it would hurt her. She pulled my face to hers and said "I know its going to hurt a little Edward, it wont last long and its unavoidable." She said with a smile.
"I know this might sound weird, but I'm glad you're the one that gets to cause this kind of pain." I looked at her puzzled, almost angrily until I realized what she meant.
"This is a kind of pain that only gets to happen once, and you get to cause it. I know you might not be able to understand what I mean, but I'm grateful for you." Oh this girl. My love. Bella. There had to be a God out there, because she is one of the most angelic persons I have ever come across in my existence.
I leaned my face down and pursed my lips together with hers. With myself in position I guided myself into her center. I went very slowly so I wouldn't hurt her.
When I reached her barrier I looked at her with nothing but love in my eyes. She took my hand and tangled her fingers into mine and nodded. I pushed through and I could see the wave of pain in her eyes just before she closed them tightly. She grasped my hand firmly as I steadied myself in her. When she re-opened eyes I could see the love pouring out of them.
"Are you ok?" I whispered. "I'm perfect. It doesn't hurt anymore".
I nodded and began to move in and out of her. She moaned in pleasure again as she did before so I knew she wasn't lying about the pain. I moved slowly in and out of her still not wanting to myself to get too out of control.
"Faster" she moaned. I started thrusting faster and faster keeping the motion between us at a good pace. She was making sounds I've never heard before. It was amazing. My sounds mixed with hers almost making a perfect melody. Her hot, wet center felt so incredibly amazing against my cold, hard manhood.
I could feel her peak coming as I did before. Her breath was quickening along with my pace, and her muscles were tightening around me. I wanted us to climax together to make it even more special. I let go of her hand I was still holding and moved it back down to her nub. I started rubbing it back and forth and then in circling motions. She yelled my name and I felt her body tighten up even more as she gasped for air.
"Edward, I'm about to…I'm about to….Edward!" she gasped as her muscles squeezed against me we released together.
I could feel my juices mix with hers and hers spill all over me. It felt like we were both struck by a lightening bolt. I collapsed off to the side of her and pulled her close to me. I knew she couldn't be cold at this point. She clung to my chest still gasping for air.
I leaned into her ear and whispered "I'm glad I got to share that with you too."
"I love you more than you'll ever comprehend Isabella Swan." I said with her favorite smile.
"You know what I've been saying to myself for the past couple months?" she said. I looked at her and shook my head.
"I've been saying Isabella Cullen". I stared at her in a way that no words can describe, unable to speak.
"And I absolutely love the way it sounds." She smiled widely at me.
"Isabella Cullen" I repeated.
"Isabella Cullen I can't wait to spend the rest of time with you." And for once, I looked forward to her change.