Timeline: Set before Jus in Bello for SPN, and sometime during Ten Inch Hero when everything I've mentioned seems to fit. Of course, not having seen the movie, we'll just say that it's AU and be done with it. Though, I have been told it fits with canon right up until the last chapter.

Note: You don't need to have seen Ten Inch Hero to understand. I haven't, and I wrote the damn thing. Though I have seen the trailer, and that one scene that's forever embedded in my memory. (Since doesn't let me link in text, I advise you to Youtube the film, you'll find them both easy)


Priestly stepped into what he liked to call his own little slice of temptation. Not heaven, because he was pretty sure in heaven the hot chicks actually slept with you. Here, they just gave him that raised eyebrow.

"Mornin' ladies." He surveyed the room, nodding to the man at the counter, who for some reason was staring at him like he'd decided to shave his hair down, let it be coloured naturally, and wear normal clothes. It was a little unnerving. And awkward. Dude, say something...

When the rather - freakishly - rather freakishly tall man kept just kept staring, Priestly nodded a rushed, "And customer," before heading to the back, out of sight before the guy tried any pick-up lines. Of COURSE he had to wear the kilt today. Damnit.

"Don't pay Priestly any mind, he always looks like that," He heard Piper explain.

"Well," Jen chimed in, "His hair was blue yesterday. I guess he thinks pink is more becoming."

Note for later, kill Jen.

"I'm sorry," the sasquatch sounded a little confused, "Did you say his name was Priestly?"

"Only for the last thirty years," Priestly replied, very cleverly (stupidly) walking back into the line of sight. He knew he should be polite and ask his name, but that might be misconstrued as an interest in something other than his name, and he wouldn't live it down, what with Piper standing right there. Jen maybe, because he had to kill her later.

So, having not said anything else, they lapsed back into that awkward silence. Though the stranger's expression had changed from one of stunned disbelief to pensieve, like Priestly had just become the newest jigsaw puzzle.

"For Christ's sake buddy, order something and quit leering at me, will ya?"

Priestly turned away to the grill, actually cleaning the thing for the first time in... How long? Just to avoid looking at Mr. No-Name. He snuck a glance at Piper, she was enjoying this way too much. He'd have to kill her too. To illustrate his point, he waited until she looked his way, and raised the knife threateningly. She snorted and turned away, though he could still see her shaking visibly from laughter.

Jen suddenly swiped a piece of paper through his mohawk, like it was a credit card machine or something, and he found himself making two footlong subs, both the works, one with extra onion.

As he started cooking the meat, Tish came through the door with a breezy, "Morning everyone! You won't believe the night I had yester... Oh, hello." Tish had obviously seen the man, now leaning against the wall. And if the 'hello' was anything to go by, she liked what she saw.

Figures.

"He's gay Tish!" Priestly called, not turning around, so he missed the slight pout on her face, and the annoyed look that passed over the man's. Like this had happened before or something.

Still, Tish smiled politely at him, then went to tell Jen and Piper all about her night. However she didn't get much out of her mouth, before they silenced her, filled her in on what she'd missed, and were now staring at the mysterious man who was now talking very quietly on his cell.

Aside from the sizzle of the grill, it was the only other noise in the normally active establishment, which made it quite easy to make out the conversation. Well, half of it anyway;

"Dean? You don't want to meet me at the sub shop... No, nothing like that... Trust me on this... I'm not sure, I'm still trying to figure it out... Doesn't seem like a threat... Dude, I... Fine, you know what Dean? Come right in. I don't care." He hung up and ran his hand through his hair before coming to some sort of a decision.

Striding up to the counter, he was cut off by Piper, "I couldn't help but overhear, and I just want you to know that we don't have a problem with orientation. Priestly was a bit of a jerk, but don't take anything he says in the literal sense. Or any sense at all, actually. You're quite welcome to stay."

The reaction she expected probably wasn't an exasperated sigh. "Uhh, thanks," He really wasn't. "But I just wanted to know if you had a flashlight I could borrow?"

Unexpected reactions were abound as Piper blinked. "Uhh... sure..." The Silence of the Damned returned as she went out back to find a flashlight. When she returned, he smiled politely and thanked her.

"Umm," Tish now, it seemed he was talking to, "I don't want your friend to get the wrong impression." He paused, redirecting, "Priestly, is it?"

Don't look up, don't look up, don't... he waved a hand to signal he was listening.

"I'm not gay, you just reminded me of someone." When Priestly still didn't look him in the eye, he added. "I understand if you're disappointed that now I just ruined your dream."

Okay, that does it. Turning around, Priestly was going to -

"Ahh, the fuck!?"

...Get a whole lot of flashlight to the eye, apparently.

After a few seconds the light slowly clicked off, a confused expression on his attacker's face. Like he expected something else to happen other than momentary blindness. Could this day get anymore weird?

The front door banged. "Sammy, what the hell's taking so..."

Apparently it could.