A/N: This just seems like the kind of thing that Flint would do. Hope it's as funny as I originally thought it to be.
I only WISH I owned Flint or Volkner.
It was no secret that Flint had a way with words. Everyone that knew him could describe him in the same word: Flirt. I mean, come on, replace one letter and the words were the same!
To be honest, Flint didn't really care one way or the other. Boy, girl, tree, it was all the same to him. Love was love was love, and gender should never get in the way of that. Many called him a slut, but that was just the way he was. Flint didn't really give a damn.
So really, it was no surprise that he ended up with an infatuation with his old childhood friend, Volkner of Sunnyshore city. The problems were, as far as he knew, Volkner didn't quite feel the same way about love as he did, and as a guy, Flint didn't qualify for that kind of affection from his best friend.
So, as outgoing and flamboyant as he was, Flint kept his feelings to himself when he went to visit Volkner. However, once he returned back to the League, he'd let loose all frustration. Lucian called it his 'Teenage Girl' moment, but Flint didn't listen to him. He was mad, and he wanted them to know it. This particular day, he had just returned from a visit to the Sunnyshore gym, and was ranting about injustices and close encounters and cursing the world, all with his head buried in one of the couch pillows.
"Flint, nobody cares to see your butt that much." Cynthia said from across the room, glancing up briefly from her book. Flint, who was taking the odd approach of diving into the couch headfirst to bury his head, had his rump sticking into the air awkwardly. He lifted his head from the pillow and glared over his shoulder at her.
"Have you listened to a word I said?" he grumbled. "This close! This close to holding my hand, and it never happened! And he kept poking my hair and playing with it the whole time too! His excuse was 'I swear it gets bigger every time I see it.' Isn't that just pathetic?!"
"In his defense, it really does tend to get bigger every day." Aaron announced from the other end of the couch. "And it really doesn't help with you burying your head in the staticky cushions and all."
"Hey, if you're going to pick a side, pick mine." the guilty party grouched, sitting proper where his head had been before, arms folded and legs crossed in the most pathetic pout the world had seen thus far. The other four members rolled their eyes at his dramatics, seeing as they'd seen them numerous times before. Flint took no notice, however, as he was busy plotting ways to get Volkner to 'see the light' as he called it.
Lucian sighed heavily, finding it hard to concentrate on his book. "Look, while you're at it, why don't you change yourself into a girl to win his heart, ever think of that?" he said irritably. "Since you seem to be coming up with other ideas just as good."
"Don't give him ideas," Bertha snapped. "because you know he'd actually do if it would work."
Flint perked up at her words.
"You mean it's possible?" he asked. "Really? Do you know how, Bertha?"
"I was kidding..." Lucian mumbled under his breath from behind his book. Bertha shook her head.
"Well, maybe not turn you into a girl, but we can sure make you look like one." she mused. Flint leaped over to her, kneeling in front of her, hands clasped.
"Do it! It'll work, I promise!" he begged. "Pleasepleaseplease!"
"Wow. Flint asking to be turned into a girl." Aaron said. "Now I've seen everything."
For some reason, the Space-Time Continuum decided to rip apart the fabric of reality at that moment when Bertha replied, "Only because I want to see you crash and burn." she stood, and Flint followed quickly and hugged her tightly, so that her face turned red from lack of oxygen. The other three blanched at her decision. Bertha was readily agreeing to this insane idea? Sweet, sensible Bertha? Madness.
"This can't possibly end well." Aaron muttered. Lucian nodded in agreement from behind his book.
"Well," Cynthia stood and brushed herself off, "if this is really going to happen, I'm going to have to do a little shopping for Flint here."
"Pick stuff that'll look nice." Bertha managed to choke out from between Flint and his chest. "He should at least be a pretty girl. Now, Flint, let me go before I pull your ear again." Flint let go and backed away quickly before following Bertha up to the bathroom.
"Now, first thing's first," she said, seating Flint backwards on the toilet so he was at the right height for her. "what to do about your hair."
"What's wrong with my hair?" Flint snapped. Bertha rapped him on the head with a hairbrush, but it did little with the hair padding his skull. "My hair is gorgeous! Why change it?"
"Because nobody has hair like you, Flint. Dead giveaway if I ever saw one."
"So... then what are you going to do about it?"
"Well, since I'm sure that you would attempt murdering me in the middle of the night if we dyed it, we're gonna straighten it." she said. "But first, I have to get this brush through it..." She gave a particularly hard yank, and Flint yelped. And then her words sank in.
"S-straighten?" he gulped, "As in take a flat iron and defy laws of physics and make my hair flat? With a hot iron?!" He had heard the shrieks and shouts coming from Cynthia in the bathroom and too many times seen the bright red scorch marks on her neck and fingers to ever want that thing near him.
"Your hair defies the laws of physics as it is," Bertha snapped and yanked again. "Besides, you can't possibly tell me that Flint, the master of Fire in the Elite Four of Sinnoh, is scared of a straightener."
"Yes, I can." he said, flinching at another yank. "Because you can dodge a Fire Blast attack, but you can't dodge a small piece of hot metal!"
"If you can dodge a Fire Bast, you can dodge a straightener." Bertha informed him. Then, on an entirely different matter, she shouted, "How is it that one person's hair can cause this much trouble?!"
"Well, maybe if you weren't - OW! - trying to rip it out of my - OUCH! - head, it'd be nicer to you!" he complained. "I'd like to have some hair left after this experience!" Bertha, for his efforts, pulled especially hard on her next brush, and Flint gave a little yelp. This lady had it out for him, he just knew it!
"Quit your bitching," Bertha said simply, "you sound like a little girl. Grow some balls and take it like a man."
"Bertha!" Flint gasped. "Language!" Personally, Flint didn't really care if someone swore like a sailor, but this was Bertha! She was a kind little old woman who cooked. Albeit, cooked like a beastly soccer mom on Thanksgiving, but cooked all the same. He would never suspect words like 'bitching' and 'balls' to come out of her mouth, much less in the same breath!
"I'll swear whenever I want to, dammit." she announced. "Now, shut your damn mouth!"
"Yes ma'am." Flint squeaked, preparing himself for the hairbrush to rake across his head once more. However, Cynthia chose that moment to burst through the bathroom door, appearing victorious, with a few plastic bags dangling from her arms.
"Mind if I join you two? I come bearing stuff!"
"Not at all, Cynthia." Bertha replied. "I was gonna start straightening his hair soon, so you work on the front side."
"The front side of what?" Flint asked, but was suddenly spun on the spot, and was now facing Cynthia, who was holding what looked like a pair of tweezers. Flint gulped.
"First off, your eyebrows look nothing like a girl's, so we'll have to fix that." she informed him. Flint flinched and yelped when she brought them forward and pulled out a hair. Cynthia smacked his arm, with the (illogical,) reasoning that 'Beauty is Pain.'
So Flint sat, for nearly half an hour, while Cynthia beautified him and Bertha straighten-ified him. Cynthia, once she was done with the tweezing aspect, pulled out a tube of icky green goop that she claimed would "make his skin soft and unclog his pores."
Whatever pores were.
Then she washed that off and placed a white piece of tape on his nose that, when she ripped it off, pulled a bunch of dead skin and zits off with it, apparently. Then she pulled out some pink and green tube and applied something called 'mascara' that, apparently, made his eyes pop. Flint was too sure about the whole popping aspect, though. Popped eyes were like fish eyes, and anyone who had eyes like a fish Flint bet wasn't going to look too attractive.
Cynthia applied a few more things, the names of which Flint didn't catch, because he was too preoccupied with being afraid of the straightener, which Bertha had finally taken out of its holster. His entire body tensed as she started at the bottom and pulled it gently through the bottom layer of his hair, and he shied away when he felt it come close to his neck again. Bertha grabbed a handful of hair and yanked him back and began again.
Little by little by little, his bright red hair began to smoothen out, and he was amazed; it grew in length to about twice the visual size, falling to about his middle back. Another thing that shocked him was that it was shiny! Flint didn't know hair could be that shiny, since he'd certainly never seen Cynthia's hair like that.
Finally, the two ladies stood back. Flint turned around, and Bertha whistled.
"Well, Cynthia, we done good."
Flint stood and looked at himself in the mirror, hoping they didn't make him up to look like a clown or anything.
What he saw nearly made him faint away.
"Oh my Dialga," he breathed, touching his hair. "I'm gorgeous!"
"And we're not done yet!" Cynthia giggled. Flint didn't like the giggle; it had an impending sense of doom about it. He paled as she dug around in one of her plastic bags, and produced a pair of long, dark skinny jeans that flared out around his ankles.
"Pants off." she demanded. Flint looked helplessly from those jeans to his, and back again. He was so upset, he didn't even bother to remark about the innuendo.
"But," he stuttered, "but–"
Bertha threw the pants at his face, then turned around to give him some privacy. "Just put them on."
"I can't believe you're making me wear girl pants." Flint grumbled as he stripped himself of his own pants and pulled on the new ones. Surprisingly enough, they were long enough to be very baggy around his feet, but grew uncomfortably tight as they traveled up, coming up short of where they usually did for Flint. When Cynthia and Bertha turned around again, they found him doing an odd little dance as he tried to pull them up further.
"Flint," Cynthia explained once he realized they were watching, "those are hip huggers; they're supposed to only go that high."
"But it's uncomfortable!" he whined. It feels like my butt is sticking out of these things!"
"As if that's uncommon for boys nowadays." Bertha rolled her eyes. "Now, lose the shirt, too. We have more for you."
Flint did as he was told, and pulled the yellow shirt off over his newly-straightened hair. However, he didn't like the sight that was before him when he could see again.
Cynthia and even Bertha were giggling like little girls at the thing Cynthia was holding. Flint's insides wend numb at the sight of his most horrific present yet.
It was white.
It had pink polka-dots.
It was filled with water.
Cynthia, in one swift movement, brought it up and around him, fitting it snuggly around his chest, then stood back to admire her handiwork. Flint looked down at himself, and saw two white-with-pink-polka-dotted lumps in his way. He couldn't see his own stomach! Bertha glared evilly, and Flint couldn't be more relieved that she wasn't in possession of a camera at that moment.
"Dude!" Aaron said, barging into the bathroom with Lucian at his heels. "Flint has boobs!"
"I do not!" Flint tried to defend himself, turning red and folding his arms in a very feminine fashion.
"It's a good look for you." Lucian teased. Flint sighed dejectedly.
"There are so many things wrong with this.." Flint trailed off as Aaron began prodding to the two lumps attached to his chest. Lucian stood back, smirking behind his purple glasses.
"A water bra?" he said to Cynthia, though he was still staring in amusement at Flint and his new voluptuous chest, "Clever."
"Well, it wasn't like we could give him a normal bra and stuff it," she said matter-of-factly. "it has to look realistic, right? So without real ones, the whole 'stuffing' thing wouldn't work."
"Okay, off already!" Flint snapped at Aaron. "It's just a bra filled with water, don't get your pants in a knot!" He smacked Aaron's hands away unceremoniously. Aaron pulled away to Lucian, rubbing the red mark Flint had put there.
"And last, your shirt." Cynthia said, throwing a yellow button-up dressy shirt at him. He caught it, and looked from it to his chest, then back at Cynthia.
"And you're sure this'll fit over these?"
"It's made that way." she said. "Now, put it on."
Flint did as he was told. The sleeves cut off at his elbows, and the buttons were done up just so that he could show enough skin to be flirty, but not have to worry about his lack of cleavage looking odd to any who cared to look. Bertha, Cynthia, Lucian, and Aaron all stood and looked at him in various degrees of satisfaction and shock. Flint took a gander in the mirror, and almost fainted again.
Flint was hot.
"Dude! I'm sexy!" he exclaimed, turning around and examining himself. Cynthia and Bertha shook hands, as if sealing a business deal, and Aaron and Lucian nodded their approval.
"I can't believe you pulled it off." Lucian muttered. "You actually look like a girl."
"A dead sexy girl." Flint corrected, then looked down and weighed each fake breast in his hands as he continued to stare at his reflection. "You know, I didn't like the thought of these, but who'd have thought that these were so real-looking!"
"Okay, we have to get going!" Bertha told him. "Otherwise the gym will close and you won't get a chance until tomorrow, and I don't want to deal with Flint the Girl until then."
"How's he going to get Volkner to notice him, though?" Aaron asked. "I mean, he's a bit hard to impress."
"No worries, I'll just beat him in a battle," Flint said simply, returning to the conversation. "The poor guy never gets a challenge anymore, and a surefire way to catch his attention would be to kick his butt."
"Then you'll need new pokemon." Cynthia said. "Volkner knows your pokemon with his eyes closed; It'll be a dead giveaway."
"Butbutbut..." Flint whined, "Can't I just have Infernape?"
"Come OOOOOOOOOOONNN!" Flint threw himself to his knees. "Just one! He won't know if it's just one!"
"You can use Bronzong." Lucian offered.
"And Vespiquen." Aaron chirped.
"We'll all pitch in one." Cynthia said. "You can battle Volkner with those, and he won't suspect a thing."
Flint sighed dejectedly as he accepted their pokemon, and gave a pathetic little whine as he handed over his own. Bertha pointed with finality at the bathroom door.
"Now, get over to Sunnyshore before the gym closes!"
Flint stood in front of the Sunnyshore Gym, kind of wishing he'd forgotten the entire idea back when Bertha threatened him with the straightener. Here he was, an esteemed member of the Elite Four, dressed like a girl! And using the whole disguise to get close to his best friend, no less.
All in all, it was kind of creepy.
He took a deep breath, and pushed the door open.
"Our eyes met! We must–" Flint pushed the kid out of the way on his way through. He was too busy to deal with little gym trainers right now. He was a man on a mission.
Or, more accurately, a woman on a mission.
After much dodging of amateur trainers, Flint reached the two double doors that led to the main event; Volkner.
These he pushed open, and stood to admire the room. It looked the same as it had when he first challenged this gym as a younger boy, back when it was under different management. If he remembered correctly, Sydney was now an Elite member in Hoenn.
His attention, though, was diverted to the other end of the room. A tall man with naturally, beach-tanned skin, choppy blonde hair, and strikingly blue eyes stood, hands in the pockets of his blue jacket. And he looked positively bored.
"Oh my, you must be Volkner!" Flint trilled in a fake falsetto voice, running forward to greet the gym leader. "It's so great to finally get to battle you!"
"Oh," Volkner was taken aback at the sudden intensity of the woman's behavior. "So you've heard of me."
"Of course I have!" Flint said, gritting his teeth through his false giggle. "Who hasn't heard about the famous Sunyshore Blackouts, caused by the eye-catching gym leader?"
"Heh," Volkner scratched the back of his head, turning a bit pink. "I guess I do get a lot of publicity for that."
"Don't worry about it." Flint waved a hand, his stomach flopping at the normal, idle conversation he was having with his best friend, who thought he was a girl.
"So what did you say your name was?"
"F-" Flint started, then shut his mouth. It would really suck to have gone through all this work, just to ruin the plan now.
"F..rancine!" Flint said quickly. "Francine, of course!"
"Well, it's nice to meet you, Francine." said Volkner, who looked like he was trying to hold in a smile. "You want to get this battle started?"
"Of course!" Francine/Flint winked. They took their spots, and Volkner threw out his first pokemon.
"Go, my pokemon!" Flint called, not sure what one he had sent out. Out of everyone else's pokemon, he didn't know who was who!
The ball landed, and the red beam of light took the shape of –
"Infernape?!" he gawked. He thought he had given that one back to them! Quickly, he recalled it.
"I, uh, meant this one!" he giggled nervously at Volkner. "Go!"
This time, it was Hippowdon that came out, and Flint thanked Bertha for having a type advantage. He pointed at the Luxray and called out "Earthquake!"
And the entire rest of the battle went that way. Easy hits, easy dodges, and an easy victory.
Flint recalled Cynthia's Roserade as Volkner recalled his own Octillery, and both men stood, Flint victorious and Volkner panting as if he had run a marathon.
"You... That... "
"I got lucky." Flint said, waving a hand. He knew that it was all luck indeed. If those pokemon hadn't listened to him, he'd have been sunk!
"Well," Volkner pocketed the last of his fainted pokemon, and a light tinge of red filled his cheeks. "You want to grab dinner or something?"
Flint grinned from ear to ear at that, and nodded vigorously. "I'd love to! There's this fun little sandwich shop down the street from the gym, if you want to check it out." Flint had always loved that place. Whenever he visited Volkner, he made sure that they stopped to grab a bite over there before he left. He always got the same thing, too, which was the Meatball Club. A nice, manly, filling sandwich. It was his favorite.
"I'm pretty sure I know what you're talking about." Volkner said with a smile. "I do happen to live here, you know." Flint tried to hide his fake embarrassment.
"Oh, right." He let out another fake giggle. "Well, does that work?" Volkner nodded, and the two left the main gym together, much to the surprise of the gym trainers. Volkner dismissed them with a wave of his hand, telling them that it was close to closing time anyway, so go ahead and take the rest of the night off.
"So, how long have you been at this whole trainer business then?" Volkner asked, his hands stuck in the pockets of his jeans casually. Flint put a finger to his chin, trying to look as cute as one possibly could while pondering their fake gender identity.
"Well, it has to be a couple years now at least, since I've been traveling from region to region now." Francine lied. "But in Sinnoh, only a couple months."
"Wow." Volkner breathed, impressed. "You've got quite a lot of experience under your belt."
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Flint teased, throwing Volkner a flirty wink over his shoulder. Volkner blinked through a light tint that smeared over his face and coughed a little when he finally lost eye contact.
"Oh look, we're here." he said, pointing to the sandwich place for a distraction. Flint gave a satisfied smirk and inwardly praised himself. This was going spectacular! He followed Volkner inside and stood back for once as his friend got them seated. Surprisingly, they got a seat on the patio, which looked out onto the stone-paved rodes of Sunnyshore.
Flint was about to pull a black-iron seat out for himself when Vokner stepped in, slipping his hand under Flint's and pulling the chair out like a gentleman. Flint stared at the chair, then at Volkner, who looked proud of himself. "Well, aren't you going to sit?"
"I've never known you to pull a chair out for anyone before." Flint said, sitting down while Volkner seated himself next. The addressed party glanced over casually.
"I thought it was a pleasure to meet me?" he asked. Flint looked away red-faced, and laughed nervously.
"I mean to say that, um, you don't hear stories. Like, stories of the gym leader and some lucky girl he's with, but you never hear stories of him being all gentlemanly like that." Flint quickly covered up for his mistake Under the table, he twisted his fingers together nervously, hoping Volkner hadn't caught on to his mistake. He hadn't apparently, as he shrugged and tapped his fingers on the glass tabletop.
"It makes sense. I mean, I do happen to be the one gossip is usually centered around in this town." he said, more to the whispers going on around them about the gym leader taking a new girl to dinner, right in front of everybody. Flint pretended not to notice.
"Yeah, well, that's the life of a gym leader, I guess." he said, leaning back in his chair. Just as he did so, a waiter came up to them, dressed in baggy blue jeans, a black shirt his job probably forced him to wear, and a backwards cap over shaggy orange hair.
"Hey, what can I get you Volkner and his Volkner's new babe." he said, a voice that Flint thought suggested his IQ was much lower than an average person's. Flint didn't need to glance at the menu.
"A Meatball Club. With extra curly fries, and orange soda." he ordered quickly. The girl was supposed to order first, and usually they took Volkner's order first, because he was their gym leader and therefore that much more important. The kid wrote it down.
"And you?" he asked, looking at Volkner. The gym leader was hiding a smile behind his menu, finally gaining control of his muscle movements and handing the menu to the boy. "I'll have the Swiss BLT." he said. "Thanks."
"No problem, dude and dudette." he kid said, then scuffed off. Volkner looked at 'Francine' amusedly.
"Wow, are you sure you can handle a sandwich like that?" he asked. "Those are pretty big."
"Oh sure, I have on every time I come here. I can eat a lot." Flint said. "Stomach of steel." He patted it happily. Volkner raised an eyebrow, but didn't have time to remark before the same waiter boy appeared, holding two small trays with their food. He set each of theirs down in front of them, then stood back but didn't turn away. Volkner, his sandwich raised and in mid-bite, looked over at him.
"May we help you?"
"Well, I was just wondering if you were gonna bring your girlfriend to the fireworks tonight." he said. "Me and my girlfriend are gonna be there, and it'd be way cool if I could tell her that the gym leader's gonna be there."
"She isn't my girlfriend." Volkner said, which made Flint's heard drop a couple notches on the plummet scale. "But it does sound like fun. Francine, you want to go watch some fireworks in an hour or so?"
"I'd love to!" Flint gushed, clasping his hands under his chin. That was the kind of thing girls did, right? Apparently not, because the waiter boy gave him an odd sort of stare.
"Um, right. Anyway, tubular, I'll let my girlfriend know. Maybe we'll see you out there and stuff." he commented, then walked away with a final thumbs-up to Volkner. Flint ripped another bite out of his sandwich and glanced over at his pal, who was busy occupying himself with his sandwich to keep his face a normal shade of skin tone. Flint reached his foot out and gently tapped Volkner's, sending an electric shock up his leg. Volkner looked up quickly, to see 'Francine' smiling suavely at him, tracing little circles on his foot with her own.
"So, about this fireworks thing..." she began. Volkner gulped down his bite and blinked a couple times to clear his thoughts.
"It's just a thing we do sometimes." he said. "Like, if we go an entire week without a power outage, it gives the reason to celebrate, you know?"
"Ah, got it." Flint nodded thoughtfully, then went back to his sandwich and ripped another bite of it out. He didn't notice Volkner giving him curious glances every now and then, and when they both eventually sat back, having completed their food, Volkner pulled out his wallet.
"I'll get the bill." he said. Flint waved a hand at him.
"Alright, I'll go save us a spot by wherever the fireworks are taking place tonight." Flint said, hopping over the iron fence that surrounded the patio of the restaurant. The gym leader stayed where he was, another amused smile on his face as he watched the spot Flint had disappeared to. Another moment passed, and the girl was back, grinning sheepishly at him. "Um, there are the fireworks being held?"
"The beach." Volkner answered. The girl nodded, then headed off down a different street to the beach. Volkner stood, went to the counter inside, and paid the bill before heading out behind Flint, who he met up with at the beach as the sky was growing darker.
"Nice spot." he commented, seating himself down next to Flint. They were sitting underneath one of the Sunnyshore overpasses, next to one of the pillars holding it up. They were on a rock, facing the beach, with many various couples and families spread out in the sand in front of them. And suddenly, a hush fell over the people, and the first firework lit up the sky in a bright yellow and blue explosion.
"I just love fireworks." Flint sighed, leaning in to Volkner, trying to keep as feminine as possible while pretending to swoon. "They're so pretty."
"I agree." Volkner answered, and Flint felt his skin tingle as his friend slowly rested a hand on Flint's waist. Another explosion of a bright green firework this time lit up the sky, mirroring Flint's pounding heart.
There he was, standing on a beach, looking up at a firework-filled sky with his best friend. It was nighttime, the sky was littered with stars, and combined with the stars, made the darkness bright as day. Lightning bugs and summer crickets could be seen and heard, and the night wasn't too hot, nor was it too cold. Everything was great; it was the perfect romantic setup.
A warm, salty breeze blew over the beach, ruffling the hair of Flint and Volkner as they stood there, arms around each other, watching the colorful explosions in the sky. Flint chanced a glance at Volkner out of the corner of his eye, and his heart sung. This moment, right here, was almost everything he could want from his best friend.
Volkner turned his head at the same moment Flint did, and they bumped noses. Both pulled back in a slightly shy manner, and Flint grinned. It was a wide, toothy smile that he usually flashed to fans or flirty girls, or when he was extremely happy. Volkner smiled back, with just a trace of something behind it, and Flint took it as his cue. Slowly, he leaned in, and just as his eyes started to shut...
"Isn't it the guy's job to give the first kiss, Flint?" Volkner asked, amused. Flint's eyes snapped open and he jerked back. Volkner was right! Crap, he messed up.
"Oh, hahaha, sorry, I don't know what came over me..." Flint tittered, his falsetto higher than usual. He continued babbling like a bad liar to cover his mistake, but slowly got quieter and piddled down into a silent confusion as Volkner continued to give him that amused smirk.
A few tense moments passed, and Flint felt parts of his mind bend and twist where it shouldn't to try and figure out that smile his best friend was giving him. And then suddenly, a dusty little lightbulb in his brain switched on.
"DUDE!" Flint pushed away and stumbled back a couple steps, attracting a few stares fro other curious couples around them. Volkner, however, was doubled over in laughter, and was using the column next to them to support himself with one hand while the other clasped his stomach. Flint planted himself where he stood, his feet hanging over the edge of the rock and folded his arms poutily.
"You...Are...So...Awesome!" he managed to cry between bouts of laughter. "Dressing up like a girl to pull one over on me! Man, I'm going to be laughing about this for the rest of my life!"
"But..." Flint was at a loss for words, and couldn't continue until his friend's laughter had died down. "How'd you know it was me?" Volkner pointed to Flint's clothes first.
"Your clothes look exactly like your normal ones, except for the whole girl part." he smirked. "Besides, with that color of hair, it was a pretty dead giveaway."
"That was Cynthia's fault, she went out and bought them!"
"You slipped up, sending out that Infernape." Volkner listed after that. "You know I'd know your pokemon anywhere."
"Okay, I thought the others had him, so I didn't know who I was sending out. That was a mistake."
"And at the sandwich place, you ordered the exact same thing you order every time." Volkner said after that. "And when I said I was going to go pay, you were okay with that. Most girls at least attempt to change your mind and pay half the bill, and you didn't. So you were either extremely arrogant, or you."
"Now how am I supposed to know that?" Flint asked, fists on hips. Volkner sat down next to him. "I'm a guy!"
"Exactly my point."
"And besides," Volkner moved closer to him, and Flint was actually glad for the twilight and exploding fireworks, because they helped hide his blush, "I would like to hope that I know my best friend anywhere, no matter what gender he's trying to look like."
"Well, it's your own fault that I look like this anyway." Flint pouted, looking away. Volkner drew his head away.
"My fault? How is it my fault that you look like a girl?"
"Because you and your stupid personality." Flint said. "I mean, why do you have to like girls anyway?"
"You like them too, you know."
"Not the point!" Flint whipped his head around to face him, his hair swirling around with it. It felt cool, he decided. He'd have to try it again sometime. " I mean, you only like girls. And I like you!" The words fell out before he could catch them, but he didn't bother to be embarrassed at this point. "I mean, jeez, branch out a little, will ya?"
"You've known me for how long now?" the blonde man asked, his own arms folded to match his companion's. "I don't care! Boy, girl, tree, it doesn't matter to me! Love is love is love, and gender shouldn't get in the way of that."
Well then. Who knew he and Flint had so many similarities?
Flint could only manage to stare. "Uh..."
"And the one I love right now is you." Volkner said, his face stained red, though his eyebrows were knit together in what Flint thought was supposed to be a stern manner.
Now, Flint was a master at flirting. It was no secret that Flint had a way with words. Everyone that knew him could describe him in the same word: Flirt. I mean, come on, replace one letter and the words were the same! But his mind went on a near-permanent shutdown when Volkner said that, then pulled Flint in and kissed him full on the mouth. Flint couldn't think of a single thing to say. Not that it would have mattered now though, seeing as his mouth was preoccupied with much more important matters now anyway.
However, when his brain kicked back on, he kissed back eagerly. To his surprise, Volkner was okay with this.
In books and movies and romance novels, the character always explains their kiss as the most perfect ever. Lips pressing softly against one another, being pulled into the tight embrace of their significant other, and they feel weightless, like they could fly if they wanted to. They feel heavy emotions flooding their stomach and slowly, the kiss breaks off, and they stare lovingly into each other's eyes.
Flint thinks they are all wrong.
It wasn't his first, but his kiss with Volkner wasn't lovey-dovey, wasn't emotion-flooding, and it certainly wasn't gentle or soft. This was a hardcore, passionate, I-Love-You-And-I'll-Never-Let-Go kind of kiss. Like if he stopped, if he didn't have this connection, he would lose Volkner and it would all be over. It was a one-in-a-million kind of kiss, where sparks fly back and forth so much between the both of them that it was a shock that Sunnyshore didn't blow another fuse.
Once Flint had gotten into the game, Volkner immediately established dominance, pushing Flint's shoulders roughly and holding him to the ground with his body, his hands running down his torso and up Flint's shirt, though only a little, teasing. Flint clenched his teeth to keep the noise down, apparently the only one that remembered there were other people around. He pushed Volkner away gently, and looked up into the deep blue eyes that matched the sumer night sky above them.
"Not now." he said roughly. Volkner pulled back, completely confused, until Flint propped himself up on his elbows and pushed his lips into Volkners again, though this time was light and gentle, like the movie kisses. He pulled away. "We've got all night, and neither of us have to be in our gyms until ten tomorrow..." he trailed off, raising one eyebrow and smirking at his best friend. Volkner took the hint and nodded, rolling off Flint and picking himself off.
"And I have a house."
"Let's go." Flint was on his feet in a second, pulling his friend by the wrist through the maze of streets, leaving the fireworks behind them.
"You know, you look really awkward with boobs." Volkner said from behind him. Flint could just hear the mischievous smirk on his face. "And it's even more awkward laying on top of them."
A/N: Holy crap, why have my last couple fics turned out to be so damned LONG?
This was originally going to be a present for a birthday, but I went with a different one instead. Eliteundershipping, Mmmm...
Anyway, I thought it would be hilarious to see dressed like a girl after I saw a picture of him with straight hair somewhere. Thus, this fic was born.