Oh god, here it is: The Last Chapter! Enjoy!!
(Walking With the Ghost)
"Don't you dare disgrace me like this! Don't you dare! Not again." She screamed, "You cannot do this to me!" Reagan looked as if she were about to collapse. The anger on her face vanished then, replaced by a terrible defeated anguish.
"Do you love me? Do you have any feelings about me whatsoever?"
"What, I- What does that matter?"
"Staying here, to play house with you, to live without love, that is not a life."
"I thought- I thought it was enough! I thought I-"
"With Johanna it was enough!"
"But Johanna is gone." It was barely a whisper
"Don't you dare go to him."
Something felt off. Remus could barely concentrate on his cooling coffee, let alone the papers he was attempting to grade. Perhaps it was his 'new start'. How long had it been since he had actually lived somewhere? Owned an apartment? Received mail?
Remus look over the small balcony at streets if the city and the waters of the canals, shining in the pink and gold light of the sinking sun. It was devastating and beautiful but… it did not feel like home. But who was he to judge? He had been living out of suitcases since he was nineteen.
Such a concept was more foreign to him than the city in which he now dwelt.
He searched his memory for something to hold on to. Something that felt like home. For the hundredth time that evening his thoughts returned to Sirius. For a very brief period, he had known a sort of comfort. Perhaps that was what home felt like. And he had ruined it.
He thought about his difficult bloodline and scowled. It was not a matter of parentage that could have made him leave. He had only been in the Black house for a little over a month, but he had seen how devastated their lives were. If they had been able, even if it was the slightest chance, to go back to their lives, it would have been Remus destroying that last chance. His whole being had forced him to leave. Not something in his blood.
But whatever had driven him away from that place, it had destroyed any hope for-
Well, it little mattered now. He could not go back. How could he explain his actions? How could he rightly return to that place with no reason for his disappearance and ask that man to ignore his family?
Remus felt quite queasy now, and pushed his coffee away. Whether it was caused by longing to be there or the image of the torn apart lives of those who dwelt there, he could not bring himself to examine the situation closely enough. It would only cause the dull ache in his chest to return.
For nearly a week, Sirius fought with himself over the decision to go, to find him. Though Reagan had begged and cursed him, she was not what held him back. She would be able to find a happier life without him. Sometimes he even believed he held her back, that she only fought for this lost cause because she did not want to deal with the embarrassment of a broken marriage. But she was strong, that was something he had come to learn in the past few weeks. And he wanted her to have the happiness he had almost had in those short days with Remus.
One morning, he awoke to clattering down the hallway past his room. When the confusion cleared, he realised it was coming from Reagan's room. He threw back the covers and pulled open the door. What had she done? Was she alright?
Sirius was greeted by the sight of a line of suitcases bobbing down the narrow hall, carried off, down the stairs towards the front door.
"I've decided," he heard from behind him. He turned to see Reagan coming out of her room, a cloak wrapped tightly about her shoulders, hr face was blank.
"I am tired of living life like a ghost, and perhaps you were correct when you said that playing house was not enough. Therefore, I am leaving you." A very small smile touched her lips as she made her pronouncement, "There is nothing to be ashamed of, I have decided. Very few marriages can survive the- the loss of a child." The small smile slipped away, and she looked away for a moment, trying so hard to master herself. When she turned back, her mask of calm was in place again.
Reagan walked slowly down the hallway towards him, and then held out her small, gloved hand. He took it and gave her a kiss on the cheek, and then he watched his wife turn and walk confidently towards the door. There was a strange relief, that the hardest part had been taken out of his hands. At the same time, he found he was both proud that she had taken these steps and then there was a sense of loss as well. After all he had lived with the woman for seven years.
When he heard the front doors close and latch, Sirius returned to his own room in an attempt to find sleep again.
Alone in the house, Sirius could no longer stop himself from dwelling on the thought of going to find Remus.
Remus. He had left, would he even want Sirius to come? He would have written. If he had wanted… If he had wanted him, Sirius wouldn't have needed to win his location from a young girl.
But could he really die here slowly, simply because he believed that was Remus' wish? Wouldn't it be better to know?
He went back and forth in this manner for days until, one evening, very late, he found himself buying a train ticket in London.
Remus read swiftly through the papers he had not finished the night before. He had not had class this last period and while he might normally have taken his work away with him, he did not trust himself to work on it anymore than he had before. His thoughts could not focus, and every time he sat down with the intention of working on anything the familiar clenching anxiety would press on him again.
But he was determined not to leave again. This time it was not merely a simple matter of picking up and leaving, no matter how compelling the urge to go back.
Remus caught himself and scowled at the thought. There was nowhere to go back to.
Finally giving in, he packed away his work and joined the mass of students going between classes.
Something pulled him, and Remus could not help but go. He felt he would have fled down the halls if there were space for him to do so, and even now he was moving at a barely restrained run.
He tried to slow his heart with his pace. It felt as if he needed to be somewhere, or as if he were late, but not really. More like, if he did not rush, he would miss it. He simply didn't know what it was.
Remus reached up to run a trembling hand through his hair and his arm caught someone in the shoulder.
He spun around, "I…" The words died in his throat, which was suddenly very dry.
The woman he had spoken to had very grudgingly directed Sirius to the proper department of the University, and it wasn't until he passed a mirror in one of the mostly empty grand hallways that he realised he did rather look as if he had slept in his clothing, which he had, and smelled of stale cigarette smoke, which he could hardly help as the elderly woman sharing his train compartment smoked like she'd been born with a cigarette between her fingers. Sirius attempted to straiten the wrinkles in his shirt as he walked, but really quickly gave up on the lost cause.
Classes must have ended for suddenly the halls were filled with students. Sirius pressed through them, growing frustrated at the further delay. If he lost him now, he would not find him again. He did not know where Remus was staying, no doubt the University would withhold such personal information. They would surely tell Remus he had been asked after. And what then?
Would he disappear again?
There was much he seemed to not know about his present circumstances, the reaction awaiting his arrival was foremost, and such insecurity was strange to him, but even the slightest promise of what could be was enough to make it worthwhile.
A rush of adrenaline flooded his veins at the thought of turning the next corner and as quickly as Remus had disappeared, he could be back again.
A body slammed into his shoulder and he growled in aggravation at being slowed even further. He turned involuntarily to apologise and was stopped dead, his breath caught, his eyes locked onto the dark gold held by his own. Much like the first time they had met.
Only this time neither of them could walk away.
Oh man, Please Review everyone. Tell me what you think about the ending. I thought at first it might need an epilogue since the chapter just seemed to naturally end here, but… I don't know, it just seems more perfect for it to end where they began?
Anyways, I hope everyone enjoyed the story. It was one of those things I just had to write. At first I started out looking for a fic like this, but I never found one, and before long I was writing it myself. So hopefully it's what all of you were looking for, too!