H.C.P.
a Spamfic by Dot
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**Tokyo-3, NERV Headquarters, Terminal Dogma**

"This is it, Rei," Gendou said as he opened Heaven's Door. "What you were created for."

"Yes," said Rei.

Gendou held up his hand, revelealing an eye. "I have already merged with Adam." Rei did not react as Gendou placed his hand upon her chest. "Now, initiate the final stage of the Human Complementation Project."

Rei neither moved nor spoke.

Gendou grew impatient. "What are you waiting for?"

"Well...all right." Rei took a deep breath. "I suppose you're not too bad-looking for a guy your age, and you could be really nice if you wanted to, and you did save me from a fiery death when Unit 00 went berserk..."

Gendou's face grew dangerously red. "What in the world are you doing?"

Rei looked back innocently. "I'm complimenting you!"

Gendou facevaulted, breaking his shades in the progress.
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All right, so this pun only really works in English, but... ;p