Singing the Blues

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not Stargate Atlantis, not the songs mentioned. Just a strange, twisted mind. Of course, this is partly Mountiegirl's fault.

Pairing: Ronon/Jen

Rating: T for some suggestive lyrics.

Author's notes: A while ago, Mountiegirl had a strange visual she shared with the ladies over at the Gateworld Love Shack AKA the Doctor and the Wildman shipper thread. I told her she had to write it, but the bunny grabbed me instead.

It was a damn rockslide that took Ronon down. Hell, after Phoebus shot him, he was still wanting to track her down. John had shot him in a delusional haze and Ronon didn't stop. But it wasn't a bullet or a wraith, it was a rockslide that broke his leg in two places a days walk from home. Teyla rigged a travois for the long trek home then ran for the gate. Rodney plunged the morphine into Ronon's thigh and the three of them made for the gate.

It wasn't long before Ronon started singing of all things. Rodney looked at John. "Are we really hearing Conan sing about pirates?"

John paused to listen, and sure enough.

We are the pirates who don't do anything

We just stay at home and lie around

And if you ask us to do anything

We'll just tell you, 'We don't do anything."

"Huh, I wonder where he learned that song. I haven't heard it since before I came to Atlantis." John grinned at the song.

Nice to know that you aren't limited to Johnny Cash, oh fearless leader."

The trip back to the gate obviously took longer than the trip from the gate. John and Rodney traded off dragging the travois and planning everything they were going to get from Ronon by means of the blackmail they now had on Ronon. Rodney in fact, caught on camera Ronon singing at the top of his lungs, and slightly off key,

If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy

Come on sugar let me know!

If you really need me just reach out and touch me

Come on honey tell me so!

Pure gold is what it was! The only thing saving John and Rodney was the fact that Teyla had run ahead. Ronon grew belligerent from time to time because he was the only one singing. So, whoever was not hauling Ronon's ass back to the gate, often had to sing along with him.

Evening was coming up on them and as John and Rodney were making camp, the topper, the most unexpected, the best song came from Ronon. In a high falsetto Ronon sang,

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman

Giving all you're you love to just one man

And if you love him

Oh be proud of him

'Cause after all, he's just a man

Stand by your man.

Give him two arms to cling to

And something warm to come to

When night are cold and lonely

Stand by your man

And tell the world you love him

Keep giving all the love you can

Stand by your man

"Come on, John. Sing the rest of it with me." Ronon sounded more than a little loopy. John looked like he just ate something particularly unpleasant. "Sure." And they both gave their best falsetto finish.

Stand by your man

And tell the world you love him

Keep giving all the love you can Baby

Stand by your man.

John looked over to Rodney. "Guy code?"

"Guy code," Rodney readily agreed. "Sorry he's been so out of it, but Jennifer told me the amount of morphine would keep him awake but not feeling pain. I only just gave him the amount so he can sleep tonight."

The two uninjured team members - ears and musical sensibilities didn't count - spent the night watching over Ronon.

The next morning, was only interspersed with the musical stylings of Ronon Dex. Aside from a rousing rendition of Lady Marmalade - which he insisted Rodney join in, Ronon was much happier talking. "Really thought it was funny the way I met ya, Rodney. Did ya hear about that, Sheppard? He was hangin' there upside down in a bright orange suite."

"And then there was all the times I got to shoot John. Have I told you how that never gets old? Well it doesn't. Get to beat the crap outta him too."

"And Teyla! Did I ever tell you about the time I really pissed her off? She took a knife to me and everything. Didn't want to get her mad at me. Just wasn't thinking of her. Just wanted my revenge."

After an hour of Ronon rambling, finally another team broke into the meadow they were crossing. Jennifer was among those with them.

"Ah, Jennifer. I got my legs broke and Rodney gave me some morphine, and did I ever really tell you that you're pretty? 'Cause I really do think you are. Wanna get together tomorrow for a drink? Or, we can go for a walk. I'm feeling really good."

Jennifer blushed to the roots of her hair. "Yeah, I can tell you're feeling good. Is there anything else you want to tell me?"


Jennifer ran a professional hand along Ronon's leg. Finally, she asked, "Well, what is it?"

Ronon got a goofy grin on his face and in a sing song voice he said, "I love you!"

1)The Pirates who Don't Do Anything by Reliant K

2)Do ya think I'm Sexy by Rod Stewart

3)Stand by Your Man by Tammy Wynette

A/N Reviews are like ice cream sundaes! It's 100 degrees out there! Please!