Not Part of a Time Lord's Vocabulary


"Oh, I don't know how you keep it all straight!" Donna complained as she entered the control room. "Rearranging the rooms and corridors like my Mum rearranges the furniture! I swear your ship does it on purpose!"

The Doctor adjusted a setting on the control panel, reached up to tug at his right earlobe. He looked up at the Time Rotor. "She does. She likes to play her tricks on unsuspecting companions."

"'Unsuspecting companions'? What? You mean she never does anything to you?"

"Nope," the Doctor answered, popping the "p," but not looking at her. He picked up his sonic screwdriver, fiddled with the setting.

"She never gets you confused or lost?"

Now he did look at her. All innocence. "Time Lords never get lost."

Donna stared at him indignantly. "Don't believe that! Not for an instant!"

"It's true! I've got a perfect sense of direction, particularly when it concerns my TARDIS." He seemed a bit put-out, as if affronted that she would even consider second-guessing him, especially in regards to his beloved timeship.

"I still don't believe it!"

"Donna," he stated as if explaining something to a mere child, "the word 'lost' is not part of a Time Lord's vocabulary." His attention returned to the control panel as if to say the matter was closed.

The redhead muttered something the Gallifreyan couldn't quite catch, even with his superior sense of hearing. Louder, she stated, "Well, I'm off to the kitchen, if I can find it. Care to join me for a cuppa?"

"Be there in a minute," he said off-handedly.

The whine of the sonic followed Donna as she left the control room.


Donna set down her nearly empty cup of tea; she picked up a biscut and nibbled on it. Her gaze was drawn towards the kitchen door when the Time Lord stamped into the room. His frustrated appearance gave her pause.

But only for a moment.

"Where the hell have you been?" she accused. "You said 'a minute'!"

Donna expected some excuse that included taking longer with the TARDIS than he had anticipated. She knew how involved he got when his wandering attention finally locked onto one thing, like fixing his ship. What she hadn't considered was the answer he actually gave.

"I was just a minute," the Doctor insisted. "I just got-- well, the TARDIS did a little rearranging and I got-- well, what I mean is--" The Gallifreyan's ears tinged pink as he rubbed the back of his neck. His gaze met everything in the room, but the redhead's eyes.

The exasperated look on Donna's face turned into full-fledged glee. "You got lost, didn't you? In your own bleedin' TARDIS!"

"I did not get lost! I just--" he paused, saw the expectant look on his friend's face, then added, "--took the scenic route!"

"We all do when we get lost!" she remarked joyfully.

"I was temporarily misdirected."

"Last time I looked in the dictionary, that was the definition you found when you looked up the word 'lost.'" Donna cocked her head. "Oh, but that word had been erased from the Time Lords' vocabulary, hadn't it?"

"It wasn't like that!" By the desperate tone to his voice, it was obvious the Time Lord knew he was fighting a losing battle.

Her voice was a mockery of the Gallifreyan's: "'I've got a perfect sense of direction.' I'm the Doctor and I never get lost! I don't even know what the word means!" She dropped the mimicking tone."Could have fooled me, Sunshine, all the times we ended up two hundred years and a thousand miles off our original destination!"

"Oi!" The Doctor stated, scandalized. "No reason for insults!"

"I'm sorry, I meant to say a thousand years and two hundred miles off our original destination." Donna gave him that look. "If that ain't lost, I don't know what is!"

The Doctor threw up his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay, I got lost! In my own TARDIS! Happy?"

Her expression neutral, Donna picked up her teacup. "Absolutely ecstatic," she answered simply.

"Humans!" Running his hands desperately through his already mussed locks, the Time Lord pivoted, stalked out of the kitchen.

Donna smiled mischieviously as he stormed off. Placing a gentle hand on the wall of the kitchen next to her, she said, "Thank you, sweetheart. You just made my day!"

The TARDIS hummed softly with what Donna sensed was a smug tone.