A/N: This is the last chapter. I know, most of y'all are crushed. But I had to drop a story and Coffin of Love is almost finished and Beautiful Disaster and Imagination Land have just started. So I chose this story, this is the last chapter and I hope that you guys aren't too crushed. I was completely clueless what I was going to do with this chapter then I got a PM from Blue – Hate Jack and he mentioned a pizza boy and a hot chick. So I was like, this is perfect.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
The Delivery God
"Your penis feels good in my vagina." Emmett laughed out.
I banged my head my on the pillow that was on my lap. Apparently the whole house heard us last night and Emmett was making it his duty to quote every funny and awkward thing I said. Edward promised me that he has said much worst but it didn't take away from the embarrassment.
"Shut up," I growled.
"Oh wait what about when –" I didn't listen to what else Emmett had to say, I shoved the pillow over my head, held it close to my ears and started to hum softly to myself.
"I came to you for a reason." I finally growled at him. Emmett's booming laugh couldn't be covered by the pillow or the humming. When he was done laughing I looked up at him and blush. "I need another idea."
"You're still going at it?" Emmett sounded shock.
I blushed and nodded.
"Damn," He had somehow made the word 'damn' a two syllable word. I bit my lip and buried my head back into my pillow. "Can you even walk?" Emmett continued.
I pulled my face away from the pillow and stared at him in shock. "Of course I can walk!" I didn't mean to squeak but I had little control over my voice right now.
Emmett started laughing again.
"I'm going home." I yelled, blushing. "At least Charlie doesn't make fun of me." I uncrossed my legs and pulled myself off the couch.
"If he heard you last night he would." Emmett shot back at me.
I had to order pizza. Charlie was staying late at the station and I hadn't been able to go grocery shopping, due to the craziness of the wedding. It was narrowed down to pizza or Chinese food and I decided that pizza was the lesser of the two evils. At least Charlie would have something to come home to when he got back from work.
The door bell rang, signaling that the delivery boy was here. I grabbed the money Charlie left for me by the phone in the hallway and walked towards the door. I hated answering the door for delivery boys. It was always so awkward, you never know what to say to them, so you just stand there awkwardly as you gave them your money and they gave your food.
I opened the door and let out a strangle scream. I dropped the money and quickly grabbed onto my heart.
"13.55." The delivery god that looked Edward told me through a grin.
"Edward?" I choked out, staring at the delivery god that was dressed in a blue greased stain Dominos shirt, a Dominos baseball hat, and black slacks.
"How did you know my name?" The delivery god asked, frowning at me.
"Lucky guess," I lied. "Would you like to come in?" I stepped out the doorway and gesture him in.
"I don't know ma'am." The delivery god frowned.
I could feel what little ego I had crumble at the word ma'am.
"I have to go back to work," He glanced at his shiny Volvo with a Dominos sign on top of it.
"It won't take long." I lied again.
The delivery god nodded once as he walked into the house. I picked up the money I had dropped on the floor and followed after him into the kitchen. He was sitting on one of the chairs smiling at me.
"Would you like something to eat?" I gestured at the pizza.
"Oh I'm starving." The delivery god smiled at me. Edward was good at keeping up appearances.
"Well help yourself." I smiled at him as I walked to the cupboard to get a plate.
"Oh I will," the voice was closer than I expected.
My eyes widened and my shoulders stiffened as a pair of arms wrapped themselves around my waist. Someone was breathing on my neck. I turned around to see the delivery god smiling at me. I bit my lip.
"Can I help you?" I tried to sound innocent.
"You said to help myself," His hand went up my shirt and traced and started to rub my stomach. "So I am."
The delivery god started to kiss my neck, sending several shivers down my spine and goose bumps on my skin. His grip tightened around my waist as his other hand went up my shirt, this time crawling up my back so he could unclasp my bra.
"I'm about to get married." My voice was breathless. He was really good.
"Looks like we have something in common." He pulled his hand away from my stomach and showed me the engagement ring on his ring finger on his left hand. I couldn't help to smile, we had been arguing about whether or not Edward should by a wedding band or not. "I won't tell her if you won't tell him."
I giggled softly and turned around so I was facing my delivery god. "I knew I should have gotten the stuffed crust." I smiled at him.
"What?" Edward asked raising an eyebrow, he was laughing at me.
I blushed. "Don't laugh at me. I was trying to sound sexy."
"Stuffed crust?" Edward asked through fits of laughter.
"I don't know, it sounded sexy in my head." I looked at the floor of the kitchen.
"I love you Bella," Edward chuckled wrapping his strong arms around me.
"I suck at this," I grimaced.
I could feel Edward move his head up in down in agreement. I rolled my eyes and blush. Who was I kidding? I should have never agreed to do this with Edward. It was like me challenging Emmett to an arm wrestling contest. I may have gotten lucky a few times but in the end, I was going to get lose.
"You win," I finally sighed out.
Edward pulled away from me and frowned. "What?" He asked.
"You win this little war between us. I'll go on a second honeymoon with you." I was sure the disappointment in my voice was obvious.
Edward's eyes narrowed. "Is this some kind of method to trick me into getting comfortable and then out of nowhere you attack me?" He sounded hopeful.
I shook my head. "I can't win." I finally sighed out. "You're actually that good."
Edward's ego grew three sizes that day. He smiled and pecked my lips. "Thank you Bella." He kissed my lips again.
"So, who did you eat to get this uniform?" I pulled at his sleeve.
"No one," Edward didn't look at me. "I'm the new delivery boy."
It was my turn to laugh. I couldn't imagine what the other customers would think when they saw the delivery god drop off their pizza for them.
"And surprisingly," Edward continued. "You're not the first person to invite me inside."
I frowned. "How long have you been working at Dominos?"
I grimaced. I didn't like that. I knew that Edward wouldn't do anything and probably turned them down but it still made me jealous. I bit my lip as a familiar feeling was starting to rise within me. Hearing about Edward getting hit on was actually turning me on.
"I have to go back to work." Edward broke me out of my thoughts.
My eyes snapped to him. He was stuffing his shirt back into his pants and straightening his hat.
"What do you mean you have to work?" I asked anxiously.
"Well since we've confirmed that I already won this little contest that we're having, there's really no need for me to be here." Edward informed me as he started to turn around to walk away from me.
"No you don't," I screamed as I grabbed his arm. "You're finishing what you've started."
Edward raised an eyebrow at me. "I started something?" He didn't hide his confusion.
I rolled my eyes. "On the table," I ordered. "Make sure to move the pizza, that's Charlie's dinner."
Edward didn't question me. He did exactly as I told him. He put the pizza on the counter top and lied on top of the table, the whole time he was grinning to himself. I blushed, realizing just how out of character that was for me. But he was about to walk out on me, right when things were getting interesting. I didn't care if we had that stupid rule about no sex in Charlie's house. If I was going to lose, I was going to lose with a bang.
I pulled my shirt over my head and started to unbutton my pants. I didn't want to mess around with clothes. I wanted it now. I thought about pulling my panties down with my blue jeans but I would let Edward do that.
"Would you like me to take my clothes off?" Edward asked from the table.
"You don't have to ask my permission." I frowned at him.
"Really?" Edward sounded disappointed.
I bit my lip."I'm not very good at bossing people around." I fought back a grimace.
"You seem to be doing ok with me." I couldn't see Edward but I had a feeling he was smiling.
"You can take off your clothes," I finally answered his question.
"I can?" Edward asked.
"You will." I corrected myself. I felt silly for ordering Edward around but I had to admit it was kind of empowering.
He leaned up so he was sitting on the table instead of lying on it. He took off his Dominos hat and than his shirt. I turned away and took a deep breath. I had to be confident and I had to want to do this. It couldn't be that hard, I was just telling Edward what to do. It was like asking, except I was ordering.
I turned back to Edward when I was sure he was naked. He was naked, completely naked. I mentally banged my head. I wish I had told him to keep his boxers on. I walked over to the table and climbed on top of it. Edward had his hands behind his head and grinned at me. He was waiting patiently for me to show him what I had in store for him.
I pressed my lips onto his and wrapped my fingers into his hair. He kissed back with just as much force, opening his mouth to lick my bottom lip. I opened my mouth to let his tongue battle mine. My fingers tightened in his hair and I pushed my mouth closer to his.
"Don't touch me." I growled at him when his hand grabbed my boob.
"But-" Edward started.
"No," I shook my head as I moved my knee on the other side of his stomach so I could straddle him. "You have to go back to work. And I'm not going to let you get fire on your first day."
"Bella," Edward sighed. "I'm pretty sure that I'm going to get fired either way. I've been here for awhile."
"But you're my delivery god." I smiled at him, running my fingers through his hair. "You're going to get us through our existence by delivering pizza to lonely house wives."
Edward chuckled softly to himself. "Alright," He agreed."We'll make this quick."
"Not quick," I snapped at him. "But we can't take long."
Edward smiled at me. "What are you going to do about these?" He asked, snapping the elastic on my panties.
I smiled back at him and leaned close to his ear. "Take them off." I ordered biting his earlobe.
He ripped them off, literally. He pulled at the elastic of my panties till it the fabric ripped. My eyes widened and I slapped his chest. He just smiled at me as he held my ripped black panties in his hand.
"I'm keeping this for later." He informed me bunching them into a tight ball and setting it by his head.
I was too turned on to stay mad at him. I grabbed his face between my hands and forced my lips onto his as he helped me position myself over his manhood. This was a good position for when I wanted to be control. He lowered me slowly onto him. My eyes widened and I let out a very loud moan. I tried to think of something sexy to say but everything I could think of was just as cheesy as the pizza he had brought for me.
"Help me Edward." I ordered. "Help me please you."
I started to grind against Edward as he helped me set a reasonable pace. My knees were digging into the wood of the table but I didn't care. Edward was hitting things that I didn't even know existed. I let out a loud scream and I could feel my body spasm, it wasn't an orgasm but it defiantly felt good.
"You've been practicing," I accused him. He had always been good but he had somehow gotten better.
"I did some research," Edward admitted between moans, apparently he was enjoying this just as much as I was.
I wanted to respond to it, but I couldn't do anything but moan. My nails dug into his chest as my breath turned into gasps. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on breathing. My body was tightening around him, making Edward grunt loudly.
"Oh God Bella." Edward gasped, his fingers dug into my waist. I knew that he was going to leave bruises but I didn't care. "You have no idea how good this feels."
"Shut up," I ordered as I latched onto his shoulders and pulled him closer to me.
My lips found his and I wrapped my arms around his head, so he couldn't move. My body tightened around him and I started to shake. Edward pulled away and growled. His body started to shake to as he released in me. My grip tightened around him and buried my head into his shoulder. He had somehow sent me into a second orgasm.
"Shit," Edward growled.
I smiled and started to pet his hair. "I know," I whispered. "It was awesome." I nibbled on his earlobe.
"No Bella –" Edward's voice was frantic.
"Bella," Charlie's voice echoed through the house as the sound of the door opened. "I'm home!"
"SHIT!" I screamed loudly.
A/N: Sorry to end it so abruptly. I had to end it today or else it would never get updated. Besides, I was running out of ideas and I was getting tired of writing about sex. I won't post anymore sex stories for a little while. I wrote this story too close to When Life Gives You Lemons and so I quickly burned out on it. It's easy for me to burn out on lemons because it's so repetitive. I promise to write one-shots periodically with lemons in them (so add to author alerts, please). And thank you for (hopefully) being understanding and I hope that this lemon didn't suck too badly, I hadn't read a lemon in awhile so, I'm out of touch.
This is this is the end guys! I've been getting a lot of reviews telling me to update soon. Sorry, this is the end, beautiful friend, this is the end, my only friend, the end (got to love the Doors). I hope you like it and that you get the joke. The whole point of the story is that they can't have sex in Charlie's house and when they do, they get caught. Or might get caught. I like it. Besides, its more fun this way than any other ending.
R.I.P. Bernie Mac
1957 – 2008
Daddy's Little Cannibal