As he showed Commander Sisko the Promenade, which had lost all of its former shine now, Constable Odo nearly laughed at his own idiocy.
Of course he knew why. Knew and understood.
When you loved someone, you did begin to take on at least some of their characteristics, did you not? If not in order to please them, as Isabel had been doing for Dukat, then subconsciously, in order to please yourself by feeling closer to them on some level. He had done the latter himself, with Isabel's prideful talent of self-deception. As soon as he had been able to tell himself he had only developed a slight affection for her over the years. And just as her own, his newly acquired talent had left him when it truly came to the one he loved.
Had loved or loved?
At this point, it was still 'loved'. As he had watched her leave on the U.S.S. Voyager, he had known that soon it would be 'had loved'. But not just yet. Not until Captain Sisko finished the repairs on the station, which was as crashed as three lives, of which two had left and one had remained bind to the same place, not until every little bit of Terok Nor, now Deep Space Nine, ceased being a constant reminder of the two of them. Even now, as he walked, his own voice explaining everything to Sisko was but a faint quiver in his ears. From each and every place came an image of them. The upper level, where Tanal Lomarra had been executed-the exact place on which Dukat had stood upon grinning at Isabel(and Odo painfully recalled she'd returned that smile) was covered by a heavy bulkhead, yet in his mind the Prefect still stood there, just as she where Sisko stood now. The Infirmary, the walls of which were blasted and opened it to the eyes of the public, was where he still saw Isabel and Dukat, even though the bed where she'd lied when he'd(Dukat) kissed her that day was overturned.
Everything tangible changes, but the intangible always remains.
Odo wished he could shape-shift his feelings for the Intendant, but he could not. They were intangible, yet weighed with full tangibility. That was why they left such a mess behind. Memories he had of Isabel and himself were many, mostly unimportant, but he kept each and every one of them, every little detail of them.
From the welcome to the station, to the brief goodbye, which had been just that, one word. The Prefect had, no doubt, received a far better one.
Lulling himself into believing she and Dukat had a pleasure-only relationship had been completely demolished when he had been faced with her emerald orbs upon his departure. Never before had he seen so much pain, so much suffering…and so much love. Their story had had no such thing as a happy ending, and neither had his(while everyone around them seemed to be welcoming just that), but he was certain it would've been far worse had he openly admitted his emotions to her.
Shaking those thoughts from his head, Odo turned towards the lift, out of which stepped a red-haired Bajoran woman. Major Kira Nerys would be the second-in-command of the station now. The Constable had notices many simillarities and even a larger amount of differences between her and Isabel Kellis. The prime one was that the Major would certainly never sleep with Commander Sisko. That filled him with eerie ease-mostly because such a thing would've only served to remind him of Isabel and Dukat for as long as he remained here. And he had no desire to leave.
Life had to move on. But his life was here. Odo liked his job, and he believed he did it well. His sense for justice never would change. Besides, this was the only true life he had ever known, safe for the lab. Departing on the account of a broken heart(which he did not have) would have been a sign of weakness he wished not for anyone to see. This trait he had not claimed from Isabel-it was rather native to his personality. Pride.
I will remain proud. I will remain just, and I will go on with my life.
She had lost her pride and any sense of justice she might have possessed to him.
Will she be able to go on?
A painful enigma, indeed.
So much for happy endings.
Well, people, that was it! I would like to thank the few of you that had stuck with this story, and that had actually bothered to review. You made me go on with this story! Well, you nad my inspiration. I really enjoyed writing it. Hopefully, you enjoyed reading it half as much. :)