Author's Note: Okay, I just felt like writing Hidan and Hinata in a situation that would be amusing. I read a fic involving those two and it was really funny! So I felt like writing my own though mine's turn out quite crappy…
Explanations: This is AU! It is not the normal shinobi world of Naruto but sort of a mixture between our world and theirs. The Uchihas still have their Sharingan, Hidan is still his psychotic Jashinist self and all of them are still shinobis. It's just that Naruto and all his buddies are still in high school, the Akatsuki is the equivalent of the Yakuza and they are still hunting down Naruto who happens to be a Jinchuuriki.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto not even Hidan's filthy mouth…Sigh! Sad fact of life, huh?
Hidan found himself being pushed into the house full of high-on-crack dancing teenagers, as they jumped around and bobbed their heads to the heavy beat of the music. There were some kids who had gathered together in a corner of the house and were having a sort of break dance dance-off. Hidan couldn't help but look impressed as he saw a Hyuga perform some fancy windmills and ended his dance with a suicide. The Uchiha, who was watching the Hyuga, walked solemnly onto the dance floor and began free-styling before he broke out into one of the fancy break dance moves.
Everyone was cheering like mad. And Hidan felt slightly amused as he watched a few of the school girls practically swoon at the Uchiha who was completely ignoring his faithful group of fangirls.
Just as he was about to turn away to look for the Jinchuriki, Hidan felt Deidara tap his shoulder. He spun around to look at his gang member.
"Yo! Is this some bangin' party or what, un?" Deidara shouted. He had to raise his voice so Hidan could hear him as the music was turned on so loud.
"Yeah, I think red eye better get his younger brother outta here before the fangirls fucking smother him!" Hidan smirked as he saw a pink haired girl grabbed a fistful of the younger Uchiha's t-shirt.
Deidara grinned and nodded his head in another direction. Hidan followed his gaze and couldn't help but grin himself. Itachi was surrounded by a bunch of whining females who were tugging and pulling at his clothes and hair. For once, the fearsome Uchiha looked rather frightened by the number of girls who were all over him. He caught Deidara's and Hidan's gaze on him and actually had a pleading look plastered on his handsome face. A look that seemed to say 'Please, get me the hell outta this cesspool!'.
Both Deidara and Hidan snickered at the Sharingan user. Neither of them were about to save Itachi even if the Uchiha were to go down on his knees and beg them. Hidan; coz he thought the whole thing was funny and Deidara; coz he simply hated Itachi (and thought it was funny too).
"We better spread out and look for the Jinchuriki," said Hidan loudly. He didn't like the way some of the girls were eyeing him.
Deidara nodded at him in understanding. Some of the girls here were already watching them with wolfish eyes. It was starting to get a little unnerving. If there was one thing the Akatsuki members couldn't stand and that was fangirls!
"You look upstairs while I search down here, un!" Deidara cried out over the music.
Hidan pushed his way to the stairs and was about to get up the steps when a young boy suddenly threw up his dinner on Hidan's Akatsuki cloak.
"The fuck?" Hidan cried in disbelief at his vomit covered robes.
"You probably have a fucking death wish, kid!" Hidan muttered dangerously as he grabbed the kid by the collar.
The boy gave Hidan a sickening look and threw up even more on Hidan's hand before passing out.
"Ugh! Fuckin' piece of shit like you ain't even worth sacrificing to Jashin-sama…" he cried out in disgust. Dropping the kid like a sack of potatoes, Hidan quickly went up stairs in search of a toilet.
After asking a gangly blond teen where the bathrooms were, Hidan rushed into it and quickly tried washing out the vomit on his robes.
"Fuck!" he cursed softly, "The smell is even worse than any fucking shit!"
Hidan was about to go on with his stream of curses when he heard a soft whimper. He twitched slightly as he heard another one. Was there someone else in the bathroom with him?
He turned to the bath tub, grabbed the screen covering it and yanked it away. He wasn't so surprised by the dark haired girl in the bath tub but rather he was surprised when he saw her tear stained face.
"Who the fuck are you?" he asked her, glaring at her with blazing eyes, "What the fuck are you doing here?"
Hinata looked up at the man who was glaring at her. She felt her breath caught in fear as she struggled to find the words to say to him. He looked so scary with his face scrunched up in a frown while cursing at her like that.
"I-I was j-just l-leaving…" Hinata stuttered weakly. She wiped her face with the sleeve of her baggy sweater.
"Yeah? Well why the fuck aren't you down stairs, dancing your ass off and getting high, screaming at the Uchiha to fuck you?" he asked her, his voice still sounding angry.
At his question, Hinata simply looked up at him and burst into tears. She was wailing softly and she buried her face in her arms in an effort to avoid his eyes. She felt just so pathetic when she asked herself the very same question over and over again for the past twenty minutes. Why was she hiding in a bath tub when everyone else her age were partying and having a great time? And the answer to that question only made her want to wither away and die.
"Oh, kid! Stop doing that, seriously!" Hidan said irritably. He hated it when women cried. They sounded so pathetic and irritating and the worst part was that they didn't know how to shut up.
Hinata didn't shut up. She went on crying like her grandmother just died or something.
"Kid, seriously, if you don't shut the hell up, I'll shove my scythe down your throat!" Hidan barked at her, shaking his scythe threateningly at her.
Hinata looked up this time and watched Hidan sadly with tears still streaming down her face. Hidan noticed that her cheeks were slightly red in color. Her pale eyes looked at him with an expression of pure pain and grief that he found himself feeling just the tiniest bit sorry for her, and the feeling shocked him.
"Y-you w-wanna know why I'm not down stairs dancing and g-getting d-drunk like everyone else?" Hinata chocked out, "I can't even show my face any more after what happened!"
Hidan blinked at her. Uh-oh, this wasn't some kind of teenage insecurity trouble now was it? He knew from past experiences that teenage girls were either really scary or were extremely insecure with themselves.
"So what the fuck happened, kid?" he asked her reluctantly, praying it wasn't going to be girly stuff he was going to have to listen.
"W-well, I told the boy I like that I h-h-had a c-c-rush on him, see?" Hinata whispered softly, "And he just…h-he j-j-just laughed at me!"
Hidan winced as he heard the girl wail even more loudly then before as she broke into a burst of fresh new tears.
"You sure he wasn't laughing coz the douche bag was crushing on you too, munchkin?" Hidan tried.
"You know, it could've been like 'Wow, this hot babe actually wants me! I'm so fuckin' lucky I like her too!'. That kind of shit, y'know?"
Hinata shook her head slowly; the sad look on her face didn't change at all.
"No! Naruto-kun said I was a freak!" she croaked, "He said I'm a stupid quiet freak, a loser, a-a useless person!"
"He said that to you?" Hidan asked, anger chewing up his spine as he thought about it.
Hinata nodded swiftly and felt more tears stroll down her cheeks.
"What a fuckin' shit head! The boy must've been blind or fuckin' retarded, munchkin!" Hidan muttered, "I mean, if I had a girl telling me she liked me like that I'd fuckin' tell her to fuck off and that would be all. Why say shit like that just so you can hurt the poor bitch?"
"Yeah!" Hinata cried in agreement, "He didn't have to say all of those mean things to me! I have feelings too, you know!"
Hidan nodded sagely at her.
"I totally understand, kid! I mean, that fuckin' fucktard of a Kakuzu always ignore me and treat me like shit and stuff when I know he wouldn't be able to collect half the bounty if it wasn't for me!"
"Naruto-kun n-never listens to me t-too! He's always going on about Sakura-san instead!" Hinata whimpered.
"Fuckin' heathen always goes on about money and shit like bounty and stuff! I exist too but does he give a shit? I don't think so!"
"Naruto-kun is j-j-just a m-m-m-meanie!"
"Wait a minute! Did you say his name is Naruto? I think he's the jinchuuriki we're supposed to capture!" Hidan cried out as he thought about it.
Hinata didn't say anything. She just sat there and watched Hidan intently…He was kind of cute, in a bad boy way. But she didn't feel attracted to him the way she had been with Naruto. However, she was beginning to feel a certain fondness for this silver haired man. He hadn't really been compassionate or sympathetic and he certainly didn't look the type, but he had been kind enough to listen to her. Even Kiba didn't listen to her and he was one of her childhood best friends.
"Don't worry, munchkin", Hidan said through gritted teeth, "That fuckin' retard of a boy you liked is so going to get his ass kicked! When you cross paths with Akatsuki, you're sure as hell gonna end up fucked!"
"A-Akatsuki?" Hinata asked, her voice trembling, "Isn't that like the Yakuza's most close rival in the under ground?"
"Yeah!" Hidan said, appearing pleased when Hinata knew of their reputation.
"Y-You are g-going to k-k-kill Naruto-kun?"
"Fuck yeah! The sonavabitch is gonna roast in hell," Hidan chuckled evilly.
Hinata was about to protest but it was too late as Hidan had already strolled out the door. She rushed to get out of the tub but in her haste, she tripped and fell. Rubbing her sore knee, Hinata began to feel a bit hesitant about telling Hidan to stop. Did she really want Naruto to live? He was a bastard and had hurt her hadn't he?
Her conscience won and she knew she had to try and stop Hidan no matter what Naruto did to her.
She hurried down stairs, pushing all the bunch of drunken teenagers out of her way.
Hinata's breath caught when she saw Naruto slumped over a large man in a similar cloak as Hidan. She found Hidan and four other guys in the same cloak walking towards the exit.
"H-Hey! Wait!" Hinata cried out.
At her voice, Hidan turned and faced her.
"What up, munchkin? Finally found some other sucker to fuck with?" Hidan asked, amusement shining in his eyes.
Hinata couldn't help but blush at his words. It didn't bother her so much when she was being a wreck but now it just embarrassed her.
"N-no! I w-was kinda h-hoping you'd let N-Naruto-kun go!" Hinata said hopefully.
Hidan lifted one slender silver eyebrow at her request.
"Sorry, sweetheart, no can do!" Hidan said calmly, "I've got orders to take the bastard back with me…"
"B-But…" Hinata tried saying but she was cut off.
"Look, munchkin, I seriously think this retard deserves what he gets," Hidan said seriously, "I saw him kissing some pink haired bitch when I came downstairs and even that poor bitch socked him in the face!"
"H-he was k-k-kissing Sakura-san?" Hinata asked, her eyes widening.
"Yeah. And later I saw him drop a couple of pills in her drink," Hidan continued. He looked like he was enjoying the look of growing horror on Hinata's face.
"Seriously, forget the poor sucker and find yourself some other poor bastard who's like, oh I don't know, a Jashinist that rips his heart out and eat virgin girls for breakfast or some weird fuck like that…"
Hinata was about to try and say something, anything just so he would stop and let Naruto go free but there was just something in his eyes…It made her stop thinking.
"W-what's you're name, m-mister?" Hinata stuttered quietly.
"It's Hidan," Hidan said without a moment's pause.
"Will I ever see you again, Hidan-san?" Hinata asked. She hated the way how hopeful she sounded but she always knew she could never hide her feelings.
Hidan smirked at her question. Now the kid sounded like she had a crush on him. But maybe that wasn't so bad…She was quite a pretty thing to look at, if you look past the baggy clothes and long bangs that covered those pretty eyes of hers. Hidan wasn't big on getting little teenage virgin girls involved in his life and he usually found the attention of young females annoying, but it wasn't like that with this girl.
"I doubt it, munchkin," he said still smirking, "I'm in Akatsuki and you're still in high school. I don't think we'll ever see each other again not unless you convert and become a Jashinist or join Akatsuki or both, whichever rocks your boat!"
Hinata nodded and looked down at her toes as she did this. She was suddenly feeling sad again after hearing those words.
Hidan looked at her slumped figure and sighed. He brought a hand up to his neck and clutched the rosary hanging around it. He pulled it off and handed it to Hinata.
"Take it, munchkin…" Hidan muttered, avoiding her face entirely from his eyes.
Hinata took the rosary from his hand tentatively. She caught Hidan's eyes on her and smiled a smile of pure pleasure. Hidan quickly turned away again as he felt himself blush a bit. Yeah, the girl really was pretty especially when she smiled like that.
Of course the Jashinist knew he wasn't in love with her or anything but somehow she didn't irritate him as much as other girls her age did. In fact, she made him feel totally comfortable. Something about her shy sweet demeanor made him feel at ease.
"My name is Hinata, by the way," she spoke gently but not stuttering even once, "Hyuga Hinata."
Hidan nodded briefly and turned to walk away. The rest of his gang members were already waiting outside. That shit head Kakuzu was so impatient about being late.
There were no other words to exchange between them. She didn't need his help any more.
Hinata watched Hidan walk away with a mixture of hope and melancholy. She was pretty upset now that the religious man was gone but at the same time she felt enlightened. She felt like she had something else to concentrate on.
She curled her fingers around the string of cool beads that was the rosary in her hands.
Maybe converting to a Jashinist wasn't going to be so bad...
A/N: Yeah, I know! Crappy fic but review me anyway okay?