Disclaimer I don't own Avatar, it belongs to Mike and Bryan.
The next morning everyone was sitting around the campfire quietly eating breakfast. The tension in the air was thick enough to cut it with a knife. Sokka couldn't take it anymore; he turned to his sister and her new "husband". "KATARA ARE YOU NUTS!" Sokka yelled. Katara smirked, she had been waiting for him to finally crack.
"I love him and well...I thought it would piss you off," Katara teased. Sokka turned three shades of red.
"Well it worked, now please tell me you're just joking," he held on to a small chance that his sister was just playing a joke on him. Katara just smiled.
"I'm sorry Sokka but I really do love him," Katara glanced at Zuko, he grinned. Toph had to throw in her two cents just because she knew it would add to the fun she was having.
"Yeah, he's probably good in bed," Toph chimed in. She wished she could see their faces but she was content with feeling their body heats. Sokka's blood had drained out of his face when he heard that. Katara and Zuko just blushed, diverting their eyes away from everyone else. Aang was confused.
"So...he's a nice pillow?" Aang asked. Katara just looked down at her bowl of porridge, Zuko was glad that his uncle was still a bed, and Sokka moved his mouth like a fish trying to breathe out of water.
"I don't think that's what Toph meant Aang," Teo said softly. Aang still wasn't getting it.
"So what did Toph mean?" he asked. At this point no one could look at each other. Haru stood up.
"Come on Aang let's go for a walk," Haru motioned for Aang to follow. Once they were a little ways from the group Haru started to explain to Aang.
"Aang, I think it's time I explain to you the eel and the cave,"
"Okay," Aang cocked his head waiting for Haru to go on. Haru gulped
"Yes well, uhmm…," Haru gulped trying to figure out how to say this right. "Sometimes a man's eel likes to visits a woman's cave. And when that happens a baby comes out nine months later as a result. The only way to prevent that is either A) the woman takes special herbs or B) the man dresses his eel in animal entrails,"
Aang paled "Oh...so that's what Toph meant by Zuko being good in bed,"
Haru nodded "Yep,"
Back at the camp
The tension had increased tenfold once Aang and Haru left. "Oh, by the way you two better say FAR away from me, I don't want any freaky vibrations," Toph smirked, she was having the time of her life. Katara and Zuko blushed, looking at each other under their eyelashes.
"This is just wrong! I mean...my sister is fourteen! Girls don't marry in the Water Tribe until they are sixteen!" Sokka started yelling again. Zuko was getting tired of Sokka.
"Katara told me her father was the chief of the Southern Water Tribe so she's technically a princess, therefore in the Fire nation girls of noble or royal birth marry between fourteen and sixteen. So, we are following Fire Nation tradition," Zuko grinned. Sokka turned every color of red there was. He jumped up with boomerang and sword drawn.
"Okay! You find a way to un-marry my sister now! I don't want to be an uncle!"
"Sokka...," Katara sighed.
"NO KATARA! I'm doing this for your own good! He's a traitor! Just like you claimed he was!" Sokka exploded. Everyone went dead silent.
"I don't think that way anymore," Katara softly said.
"Look I know I made mistakes in my past but I'm trying to fix them. I don't care if you still can't trust me but at least your sister has forgiven me and that is all that counts. I don't need your permission or anyone else's," Zuko stormed off. Katara glared at her brother before going after him.
"I think you hit too many buttons," Toph stared uselessly in their direction. Sokka just glared at Toph. Teo and The Duke fidgeted not knowing what to do. Haru and Aang walked back to camp to see everyone just sitting there except Sokka he was standing with his boomerang and sword still out.
"Is everything alright?" Aang asked looking at Sokka.
"Everything is just peachy," Sokka said sarcastically, storming off to his room. He almost ran into Iroh just waking up and coming to breakfast.
"Good morning," Iroh said cheerfully. Sokka just grumbled not giving the old man a second thought as he headed to his room. Iroh sat next to Toph, accepting a bowl of porridge from Aang.
"Good morning everyone," Iroh wasn't upset by Sokka's bad manners. "So how is everyone doing on this nice morning?" Everyone just said fine but Toph.
"Oh, it's been interesting," Toph started to explain the whole morning happenings to her friend.
"Ok, Toph when I say "OH, hi Katara" you earthbend some geisha onto Zuko's lap. Got it?" Sokka asked.
"Yeah I got it," Toph said nonchlantly. She was only helping him because it gave her something to do. She didn't mind that Sugar Queen and Hothead were married. Actually she liked it that way because they balanced each other. Katara wasn't so bossy and Zuko wasn't so moody, it was a perfect match. Then why was she helping Sokka try to break up his sister and hothead, because she knew it wasn't going to work. Sokka went to find Zuko to ask him to join him in town, Toph sighed.
"Why?" Zuko said suspiciously. He didn't trust Sokka, something was up and he didn't like it.
"Oh, just come on. Katara said if I got to know you then maybe we could be friends," saying the last part even in pretend was hard for Sokka. Zuko thought a bit, Katara would say something like that.
"Ok, fine but only for Katara," Zuko stated. Sokka rolled his eyes.
Sokka lead Zuko to the pleasure side of town. Now all he had to do was get Zuko into one of the houses, hope Toph brought Katara, and do a little earthbending and we got instant divorce, Sokka thought. It was a brilliant plan; he just needed it to go right.
"Is this where you go every time we are in town?" Zuko asked in disgust.
"Not all the time but I thought it would be a good place to spend guy time at," Sokka smirked to himself. "Ah this seems like a nice one," Sokka grabbed Zuko's arm pulling him into one of the houses.
"Toph are you sure this is a short cut to the market?" Katara asked nervously. She didn't like where they were.
"Yep, don't worry Sugar Queen," Toph replied. "Oh, what's this?" she said in a fake surprise voice.
"What?" Katara looked around worried.
"I think Sokka and Zuko are in there," Toph pointed toward the house to their right.
"WHAT?!" Katara started walking over there to see if Toph was right. She slowly walked in.
"Well hello there honey, can I help you?" one of the geisha lady's came over to her. Katara blushed.
"N-no thank you," Katara stammered. She looked around and found what she was looking for.
"Oh, hi Katara," Sokka faked surprise. Right on cue Toph bended one of the girls onto Zuko's lap. Katara was shocked to see Zuko with the girl.
"K-k-Katara! It's not what it looks like," Zuko yelped, jumping up, causing the girl to land on her butt. Katara turned quickly away running back to camp, Zuko right after her.
How the hell didn't it work, Sokka thought. When He and Toph had arrived back at camp he expected to see Zuko laid out by Katara and her wicked water whip. NO, instead he saw nobody around so he walked to Katara's room. He knocked, no one answered, again he knocked but this time he heard giggling and a rough voice yell through the door to leave them alone. Sokka just stood there speechless. Toph walked up to him.
"So, did your plan work?" Toph asked. Sokka just looked at her. He couldn't believe it, he just couldn't believe it. Sokka tried to talk but all he could do was move his lips. Toph's eyes widen when she felt a soft thud.
"Oh," Toph mouthed. "Ah…Sokka come on I think we should go," Toph grabbed Sokka's hand and lead him to the fire. Iroh looked up at the two.
"Tea?" he offered a cup to each. Sokka just took the cup and held it, looking off into space.
"Thanks," Toph grinned. Iroh looked at one then the other.
"What's the matter with him?" Iroh asked.
"He went to Katara's room and well…," Toph shrugged. Iroh chuckled; he had just seen his nephew run after his new bride. Ah the after math of fighting with your love, Iroh thought. An hour went by in silence before Katara and Zuko came to the fire, both were wearing a silly smile. Iroh smiled and handed each a cup of tea.
"Thanks," they said together. That seemed to snap Sokka out of it. Sokka turned and glared at Zuko but before he could say anything Zuko spoke up.
"Sokka I don't wish to discuss what happened in town," Zuko waved off. "Let's start anew. Katara says you like to hunt and well I thought I'd join you today," Zuko ground out. He was only doing this for Katara. I'm still going to get you back though, Zuko thought to himself. Sokka raised an eyebrow, he looked over at Katara. She pleaded with him with her eyes. He hated when she did that, it always got to him. Sokka sighed.
"Fine but we start now," Sokka got up and headed off. Zuko kissed Katara on the cheek and jumped up to follow Sokka.
"Hey Haru told me a spot to go hunting and it's not that far," Zuko said catching up to Sokka.
"Fine," Sokka growled. Perfect, thought Zuko. Zuko lead the way to the so called "hunting spot".
"Are we there yet," Sokka complained. He had been saying that almost from the beginning. Zuko looked up at the sun and calculated how much further.
"We're almost there just over that fallen log," Zuko sneered, rolling his eyes. He couldn't wait to ditch the idiot and make it look like one of his plans to break Katara and him up again.
"This is it? I thought it would be better than this," Sokka criticized. It wasn't a bad place for hunting; he just didn't like that Zuko was the one to mention it.
"Yes, you got a problem with it?" Zuko said through his teeth. Sokka just shrugged.
"Let's just catch something and get out of here," Sokka got in a hunting position and waited for their prey. Zuko did the same thing. After about a half hour Zuko got up.
"What are you doing you're going to scare off any prey," Sokka softly growled.
"If you haven't notice there hasn't been any decent prey around. I'm going to look around and see if I can send anything your way," Zuko left. That idiot didn't know what hunting was about, Sokka thought. Two hours went by and still there was nothing. Sokka was really upset; first the fire jerk violates my sister, and then leaves me in the middle of the woods and no prey to show for it. Sokka had had enough; he started walking back to camp.
"Sokka!" Katara cried, running over to her brother and giving him a hug. "I'm glad you're back. I was getting worried about you two…where is Zuko?" Katara pulled back to look up at his face.
"Uh..I don't know," Sokka shrugged. Katara let go her brother.
"How could you Sokka, you just left him?"
"Hold on here. I didn't leave him, he left me. I thought he would be here," Sokka exasperated.
"Yeah right, you left me." Zuko said appearing behind Sokka. Sokka jumped and turned around to see the yellowed eyed prince standing there.
"Zuko!" Katara leaped into his arms and kissed him.
"OH! Come on, not where everyone can see you," Sokka whined. Katara let go of Zuko and walked back to the fire with a huff. Zuko looked at Sokka and smirked. Sokka knew then that he had set it up. That bastard, thought Sokka.
"Uh…Katara can I talk to you?" Toph asked before Katara went to bed. Katara walked over to her blind friend.
"What is it Toph?" Katara said curiously. Toph motioned for Katara to follow her so they wouldn't be over heard.
"You know that your brother earlier tried to break you and hothead up but he didn't this afternoon when they went hunting," Toph tried to explain to Katara.
"What?" Katara said confused. Toph sighed.
"It was Zuko. I think he wanted to get your brother back after what he did to him," Toph said. Katara understood what Toph was saying she just didn't understand why they couldn't get along for her sake.
"Thanks Toph," Katara sighed, about to go off to bed when an idea came to mind. "Hey Toph, are the boys still by the fire?"
"Uh yea, why?" Toph wondered. Katara grinned wickedly.
"I'm going to get both of them back,"
Toph smiled this was going to good she just knew it. "Alright Sugar Queen what are you going to do?" Katara whispered her plan in her ear. Toph was only too delighted to help.
All through dinner the boys glared at each other. Iroh, Aang, and some of the others tried to distract them but nothing worked. "This is all your fault," Sokka blurted out.
"It's not my fault, you peasant," Zuko sneered.
"If you hadn't married my sister none of this would be happening," Sokka threw back.
"Well if you had just accepted your sister's choice and hadn't tried to break us up none of this would be happening," Zuko shot off.
"Boys, boys, come let us not fight. We are on the same side," Iroh tried to calm the two. The boys were about to lung at each other when Katara came racing back to the fire.
"Zuko!" Katara squealed. Zuko turned towards her.
"What? What is it? Is something wrong?" Zuko asked worriedly, catching Katara in his arms.
"No, just some good news," Katara shook her head, trying to catch her breath.
"Then what is it?" Zuko raised any eyebrow.
"I'm pregnant!" Katara exclaimed happily. Sokka and Aang fainted immediately. Zuko's mouth dropped, he looked over to Toph who nodded before he to fainted. Katara smirked. That should teach them, Katara thought. Iroh looked up at Katara.
"Is it true?" Iroh said a little hopefully.
"No, I'm sorry Iroh. I just wanted to get the two back for being jerks," Katara sighed. Iroh looked a little disappointed but he knew now wasn't the time to hope for that.
"Well I think you did a good job Sugar Queen," Toph patted Katara on the back.
"The only thing is I wasn't trying to get Aang too," Katara said worriedly.
"Don't worry about it; all of them are going to be fine. Now let's go get some shut eye," Toph scoffed. Everyone went to bed and left the boys there but Toph earthbended Sokka and Zuko together so when they woke up they would be each other's arms. "Nighty night," Toph smirked.