I've been told I had a knack for parodies, (looks back fondly on the old days of Phantomized Classics) so I took a stab at an ingenious idea by SimplyDelightfulx. You can check out the art here: simplydelightfulx./art/The-Cullen-Bunch-50910633. I guess that's all I got - no owning of Twilight or the Bradys. The former, admittedly, I desire more than the latter.

Here's the story of a man named Cullen,
For whom centuries alone were mostly heck.
So he found a dying boy, name of Edward,
And bit him on the neck.

Here's the story, of a chick named Esme,
Who lost a kid, jumped off a cliff, not much ado.
Bet you guessed it, along came Cullen,
Who changed her over, too.

As the centuries went on there were some changes,
And a few more folks were drinking blood for lunch.
Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Rose, joined the family.
That's the way they all became the Cullen Bunch.

The Cullen Bunch, The Cullen Bunch.

That's the way they all became the Cullen Bunch.