Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Title: Chocolate Covered Shinobi

Author: Drop Of Poison

Summary: Kakashi/Iruka. One-shot! When a prank backfires on a group of chuunin dedicated to humiliating the jounin, they find themselves covered with chocolate that incites the most interesting reaction in the females...

Rating: M

Warnings: Anal, Complete, HJ, Language, M/M, One-shot, Oral, SoloM, Yaoi

Pairing(s): Kakashi/Iruka, implied Kurenai/Asuma, implied Anko/Kotetsu/Iwashi/Izumo, implied Gai/Random Kunoichi, implied Jiraiya/Random Kunoichi, implied Ebisu/Random Kunoichi

Beta(s): None

Author Notes: Eating chocolate and feeling rather mischievous brought this one on. Oh, and just for the record: I don't think badly about Maito Gai. In fact, he's one of my favorite characters. It'll make sense later on.

Iruka knew it was going to be a good day when he had ended class a half an hour early that day.

It was Friday, and to Iruka, there was no better day. Today was the day he didn't have mission room duty after class and was allowed to immediately go home where he could indulge in one of his favorite hobbies—reading.

Tucking his papers under his arm, he exited his classroom, flipping the lights off on the way. As soon as he left the Academy, he was ripped into the shade of nearby foliage, and a hand was slid into place over his mouth to silence his screams of "Rape!"

"Well, this would be one hell of a rape, huh, guys?"

Iruka shook off the hands gripping onto his clothing and whipped around to stare in disbelief at the group of shinobi. "Kotetsu-san? Izumo-san? Iwashi-san? "

"Hey there, Iruka-sensei!" They greeted cheerfully.

"Good afternoon. Did you all need something?"

"You're straight to the point, aren't you? Well, it's nothing much. We just needed a leader for our group," Kotetsu shrugged.

"A leader? What for?"

"We're going to prank..." He lowered his voice, "...the jounin."

"W–Why would you want to do that?"

"We might be drunk, but it's hard to tell anymore since we do it so damn much," Kotetsu snickered. He was silenced by an elbow to the side from Izumo, who translated with, "Hell, we're not really sure, but it sounds like a fucking-good idea, right?"

Iruka frowned at the chuunin's language. "I see."

"We want you to be the leader because we heard about your earlier days as a prankster," Iwashi informed him.

Iruka felt a blush creep onto his cheeks. "R–Really? Wow! I'm... I'm honored!"

"You better feel that way," Kotetsu smirked. "It's going to be a great prank."

The school teacher felt mischievousness overcome his sensibility. "Do tell!"

"Well, we decided that we wanted to invent something new for the village," Izumo explained with a wink. "We're going to create edible chocolate covered jounin!"

The three chuunin burst out into snickers at the thought.

"I don't understand."

Their laughter immediately ceased.

"Iruka-sensei, we're going to cover the jounin with chocolate and let them loose in a crowd of hungry kunoichi."

Iruka arched an eyebrow. "And?"

"Agh!" They slapped their foreheads.

"Horny kunoichi!" Izumo exclaimed.

"Huh?" Iruka was utterly confused.

"Horny kunoichi..." Kotetsu explained slowly, "...that happen to like their shinobi dipped in chocolate..."

Iruka blinked.

"...Dipped in chocolate that they'll possibly lick off...?"

Blink. Blink.

"...Because the chocolate will be an aphrodisiac... for women...?"

Iruka's eyes widened in realization. "Oooh! You mean in the... sexual way?" He blushed.


The school teacher frowned. "I'm not sure... That doesn't seem like a very great prank... It just seems like we'll be boosting their egos by helping them with their 'adventures'."

"Just because you're so innocent!" Iwashi growled, insulted. He had thought up the prank. "This is perfect! You do know that Mitarashi Anko will be one of the kunoichi, right?"


"She's a bondage freak! She loves to dominate her men and make them beg for mercy!"

Iruka covered his mouth with one hand, horrified.

"She'll quite possibly take two or more chocolate shinobi with her," Izumo winked. "Personally, I hope Hatake Kakashi's one of them. I want to see him cry at the tortures that kunoichi will put him through."

Iruka's heart fluttered at the mention of Kakashi.

"Yeah. And that weird guy, Ebisu! He's such a closet pervert! He'll actually enjoy it too much!"

"Don't forget Morino Ibiki! I'd love to see that guy unable to walk without a limp for a while! From what I've heard of Anko-san, she loves to fuck her men up the ass with an above-average-sized, dick-shaped vegetable covered with some type of white fluid for lube," Iwashi elaborated with a sly smirk. "And it's not semen."

Kotetsu and Izumo laughed hysterically at the thought.

As an afterthought, Iwashi teased, "She should try wasabi. It has more interesting results."

Iruka cringed. "Ew. I don't need to know this."

Through his laugher, Kotetsu shook his head at Izumo. "You're going to have to give up on any thoughts of Anko-san taking Kakashi-sensei. She's not into to him."

Iruka inwardly gave a sigh of relief.

"Ibiki-san, though? Definitely. I heard her say that she thinks him being a master at torture and interrogation is sexy. Said," Izumo made his voice high-pitched and flirtatious before continuing, "'Oh, how I'd love to break him! I want to whip and mark him until he cries out my name! I even had a leash and collar ready! He shall be my dog, and I will name him 'Biki-chan'!'"

Kotetsu rolled around on the ground in his laughter. "Oh, Kami! That's great!"

"It won't happen though," Iwashi smirked. "Ibiki-san is one of the most emotionless, cruel torture experts in Konoha! Nobody could break him!"

"Better tell that to Anko-san. She's dead-set on making him hers."

Iruka furrowed his brow in disgust. "Can we stop talking about this, and get on with the prank?"

The conversing chuunin blinked, remembering that Iruka was there.

"Sorry, Iruka-sensei," Kotetsu frowned. "We can get started now. Let's go."

Together, the three shouted, "Chuunin unite!"

Iruka shook his head and followed the three eccentric shinobi.

"'Operation: Sexy Chocolate Jounin' is about to begin," Iwashi whispered into his hand-held device that allowed the four chuunin to communicate with each other.

"We need to know how to get the jounin to cooperate with us," Kotetsu's voice crackled through the device.

"It's a well-known fact that jounin are unintelligent and attracted to shiny things, violence, sex, and a chuunin in distress," Izumo drawled. "Bastards."

"What should we use to lure the jounin and where?" Iruka inquired. He was on the roof of the bar, scanning the crowd for Kakashi.

Iwashi peeked through the foliage he was seated within, taking note of the crowd of drunken jounin falling on their backsides, puking in bushes, or cheering obnoxiously about a drinking contest won.

"Well, we were planning on using a little of all of them," Kotetsu whispered, for he was perched in a tree closer to the jounin. "We will probably need one of us wearing a lot of jewelry, covered in blood, naked, and yelling for assistance."

A string of very colorful curses suddenly burst through Iruka, Kotetsu, and Iwashi's hand-helds.

"Fuckin' jounin! I'm gonna get out of this mother-fuckin' bush and kick all of their pussy, drunken asses if one more fuck-tard pukes on me!"

Kotetsu nearly tumbled out of his tree from laughing so hard. He slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound.

Iwashi merely smirked at his team member's situation.

Iruka furrowed his brow before muttering, "Izumo-san, I really don't approve of your language. If your position is unsatisfactory to you, find a new one."

Izumo cursed under his breath, peering out of the grimy leaves of his bush. With a great lunge, he propelled himself out of the hiding spot and stayed low to the ground as jounin stumbled past him. Unable to resist, Izumo stuck a leg out and tripped the nearest jounin, who flailed his arms to catch his balance. With a wicked chuckle, the chuunin flung himself beside Iwashi.

"Where should we do this? When they're drunk, they're even more easy to lure," Iwashi asked, amusement overcoming his features with his next words. "You have leaves stuck to your hair. Just like a true Konoha shinobi."

Izumo brushed them away, feeling something slimy and warm cover his fingers. Realizing it was someone's vomit that had cemented the leaves to his hair, Izumo swiped his hand on the ground, lips curling in disgust. Wordlessly, he put the device to his mouth and—after a moment of hesitation—decided, "We should do this near that kunoichi bar, 'Saiinzai'."

"Of course! It's Friday! That means all the kunoichi are there getting wasted! They'll be more than happy to take a few drunken, chocolate shinobi home to fondle and take advantage of!" Kotetsu cackled, punching the air in his moment of victory.

"Anko-san will be there, too, right?"

"Of course! She practically lives at that bar!"

Iruka's mouth dropped open when he caught a flash of silver in the crowd and tuned everything out to stare at the Copy-nin as he made his appearance, slinking through the drunken jounin to stop at the front of the bar, speaking quietly with several people. The chuunin was drawn like a moth to a flame.

"Iruka-sensei? Are you still there?"

Iruka grabbed at his chest when the loud voice crackled out of his communicator, grabbing the attention of his silver-haired attraction. He hurriedly fell back on the roof, spinning the volume that he had accidentally messed with back down to a quiet setting. With a gritting of his teeth, Iruka muttered, "Yeah, I'm still here. Where did you say we were doing this?"

"'Saiinzai'. It's a bar exclusively for kunoichi—"

"—despite the fact that Iwashi-san here has been inside it more than three times," Izumo interrupted with a bark of laughter, leaping discreetly to a tree that was next to Kotetsu's. "Pussy!"

"Oi, fuck you! I was invited, thank you very much! It just so happens that I got laid all of those times! More than once!"

There was silence.

Then, a voice that oozed jealousy mumbled, "I hope they were ugly chicks."

"Guys, quit fucking around. We need to decide which one of us is going to show his true balls and be the bait," Kotetsu sighed, swinging his legs that hung from the tree branch he was settled on.

"I know that I speak for all of us when I say that..." Izumo paused dramatically, "...Iruka-sensei will be the bait!"

Forcing his voice down to a furious whisper, Iruka sputtered indignantly, "Why do I have to do it? I thought I was the leader here! I'm supposed to be making the decisions!"

"Oh, see? There you go with the fuckin' leader position. I knew you'd take it all serious and think that you can just take charge here!" Izumo growled. "God damn it, I knew we couldn't trust a school teacher to be our leader! You don't have any balls!"

Glowering at the tree he knew Izumo resided in, Iruka replied, "Fine. I'll do it."

"Hell yeah! I knew you had it in you! I never doubted you for a second!"

"Right." 'Jerk.'

"Go find Kurenai-sensei, and explain our situation to her, Iruka-sensei. She owes me a favor, anyways," Kotetsu ordered with a click of his tongue.

"She'll be at 'Saiinzai'?"

"Yeah. She usually hangs outside and drinks because she can't stand the smoky air inside."

Iruka pursed his lips before standing. He hopped off of the building onto a nearby roof, hurrying towards the bar.

Kakashi, who had been perched on the edge of the roof behind Iruka, watched him go with curiosity.

"Pst! Kurenai-sensei!"

Kurenai's head shot up, and she glanced around her, drowsy. "Huh? Who's... Who's there?"

"Kurenai-sensei, it's me, Iruka-sensei."

The disoriented sensei finally looked towards the sky and was surprised to see Iruka's face peeking over the edge of the roof. "Iruka-sensei? What are you doing up there?"

Iruka shook his head furiously and motioned for the woman to join him on the roof.

With a sigh, the woman set her drink down and, with a surge of chakra to her feet, propelled herself onto the roof gracefully. Well, until she landed. She fell backwards onto her backside and chuckled at her lack of balance. "What can I do for you, Sensei?"

"Well, my friends and I are going to be pranking the male jounin."

Kurenai blinked, a sly smirk sliding onto her face. "Really?" She purred. "How so?"

"We're going to cover them with a special chocolate that excites females... and they're going to be right near this bar..." Iruka cringed.

Kurenai gaped, forcing herself to wipe dirty thoughts from her mind of a certain chain-smoker. "I see... So, why are you telling me this? Wouldn't you just do it? You don't need our permission to give us sexy chocolate-dipped shinobi." She was clearly amused.

"Well, we don't have the things to lure them, you see."

"Ah," Kurenai nodded. "I understand." She arched a slender eyebrow. "Just what does lure the average, drunken, male jounin?"

Iruka gave her a deadpanned look. "Shiny things, violence, sex, and a chuunin in distress."

Kurenai threw her head back and laughed out loud at that. "'Shiny things'? Oh, my, Iruka-sensei, that's very funny!"

Iruka rubbed at his scar, uncomfortable.

Her laughter finally died down to quiet snickers, and she glanced up at him with her blood-red eyes shining in delight. "Well, we can easily arrange a chuunin in distress. Aren't you yourself a chuunin?"


"I can borrow jewelry from some of the women inside if you promise not to steal it." At Iruka's nod, she continued, "Anko-chan can really shed some blood if the right mood strikes her."

Iruka cringed.

"As for sex... Well, I suppose you can borrow one of the drunken women... I assure you: they won't mind at all." Suddenly, a look of realization overcame her features. "Wait a moment! That's perfect!"

Iruka arched a questioning eyebrow.

"You will steal Anko-chan's jewelry, run from her—obvious shouting for help—and she'll be attacking you!"

"And where does the 'sex' part come in here?" Iruka inquired dryly.

"You don't think Anko-chan will just be shedding blood, right?" Kurenai shook her head incredulously, flipping her black hair. "Oh, no, no, Sensei. She'll be trying to molest you. She likes her men feisty."

"Ugh. I think I'm going to be sick," Iruka moaned, hunching over. "I can't do this."

"Try not to think of it too much," Kurenai patted him on the back awkwardly. Producing a bottle of sake from nowhere, she pushed it into his hands. "Drink this. It'll drive away all the doubt you have."

"As well as all the sensibility, morality, and modesty I have," Iruka muttered. Nonetheless, he downed a swig of the burning alcohol without another thought. Taking a calming breath, Iruka fished the communicator out of his weapons pouch and announced, "Kurenai-sensei's helped me to come up with a plan. When I say so, Kotetsu-san, you start bringing the jounin closer to this bar so they can see what's going on. Izumo-san, Iwashi-san, you both need to get over here immediately, and set up the chocolate trap."

Nodding to one another, Iwashi and Izumo disappeared in a swirl of leaves to collect the necessary items for their prank.

Kotetsu held his position and hurriedly thought of a way to get the drunken men to follow him.

"I hope you guys are well-prepared, Sensei," Kurenai warned with a grimace. "You do not want to deal with angry jounin. Especially when they're drunk."

"Don't worry yourself over it, Kurenai-sensei," Iruka smiled weakly. "We are professionals at what we do, after all."

"If that's true, I would definitely like to see more of your work in the near future," Kurenai winked, flashing a grin.

"If we survive that long," Iruka mumbled into the bottle of sake.

"Izumo-san, Iwashi-san, have all preparations been completed?"

"Yes, Iruka-sensei. We've got it all set!"

"Okay, Kotetsu-san, it's time. Be careful."

Kotetsu took a deep breath and—in a fit of desperation—cried into the communicator, "If I don't survive this, I just want you guys to know that I'm really glad that I could work with all of you!"


"...Yes, Izumo-kun?" Kotetsu whispered, eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

"Quit being a god damn pussy, and get on with it."

Kotetsu huffed, stuffing his communicator into his weapons pouch angrily. With a sigh, he leaped down to the street below him and shouted, "Sexy no Jutsu!"

Ears perking up at "sexy," the jounin all directed their gazes to the middle of the street where a frozen girl with dark hair cascading down her shoulders had appeared.

Nosebleeds broke out—she was completely naked.

"Kotetsu-san, what is your current status?" Iruka asked, wringing his hands nervously.

There was no answer.

"Kotetsu-san? Are you there?"

No answer.

Terrified, Iruka—now alone on the roof—shouted into his communicator, "Izumo-san, Iwashi-san, go help Kotetsu-san! I think he's in trouble!"

"Kotetsu-san's in trouble?" Izumo's angry voice crackled to life. "I'm on my way!"

"We'll check on him, Iruka-sensei," Iwashi assured.

'Oh, Kami...' Iruka bit his lip, hands shaking.

"How is he?" Iruka asked after a few minutes of unbearable silence.

Nobody answered him.

He exhaled and inhaled sharply, leaping off the building to touch down in front of it. With a look of determination, he prepared to shove the bar doors open but was cut off when an arm wrapped around his waist and a hand covered his mouth.

A warm body pressed against Iruka's back. Lips were placed near the his ear and warm breath fanned onto the soft flesh. "Iruka-sensei, what would your students think if they knew you were being so naughty?"

Iruka knew that voice. But there was no way it could be... Could it?

"I have to admit that this is a clever prank. No doubt it was carefully planned. However, there are way too many holes in this plan of yours, Sensei..."

Iruka was trembling as clothed lips slid over his ear.

"It was simply too easy to completely change the contraption your friends had made so it would," Kakashi's voice became huskier, "play out in my favor."

Iruka's eyebrows drew up in worry. He moaned weakly beneath the Copy-nin's glove.

"Don't concern yourself about your friends... too much. The last I saw of them... they were running for their lives in their female forms with considerably less clothing."

Iruka's eyes widened in realization. 'You guys didn't have to use that horrid jutsu! There are other ways to lure the jounin!'

"Oh, here they come."

Iruka felt Kakashi's lips curl into a smile against his flesh.

"Be a good boy, and warn your friends of my trap—I set it a little closer to them... Say, after the first tree before 'Saiinzai'?"

With that, the warmth seeping through his clothing abruptly disappeared. It was as if the Copy-nin hadn't even been standing behind him.

Disoriented, Iruka shook his head roughly to clear his jumbled thoughts. He hopped from one foot to the other in front of the entrance to the bar in agitation.

"This isn't how I expected this to go! Why didn't anyone tell me Sexy no Jutsu involved NO CLOTHING?" Kotetsu squealed, awkwardly squashing his bouncing breasts to his chest.

Izumo and Iwashi shook their heads furiously, showing their lack of knowledge in the jutsu.

"Hey, there's Iruka-sensei! What's he saying?"

"...keep...eye out...tree...before...'inzai'..."

"I could only hear every other word," Izumo grimaced. "But it just sounds like he's warning us to keep an eye out for the trap. Iwashi-san and I put it before the last tree after 'Saiinzai'. We have enough time to duck into the alley way to the left of the bar."

With that, they increased their pace.

Iruka was flailing his arms when the three chuunin were in earshot.

"No! Wait! The trap! Abort! Abor—" He was cut off when the doors of the bar suddenly swung open, slamming against his back violently. With a cry, Iruka was sent flying through the air. He saw the chakra line trailing across the street and squeezed his eyes shut with shame as he collapsed onto it. 'I'm sorry, guys...'

The three naked, female chuunin tripped over Iruka, landing in a pile. With three puffs of smoke, all of them were returned to their normal, dressed genders.

They all watched in stunned silence as their trap—meant for the jounin—was activated.

The sweet, brown liquid spilled from the sky in a waterfall, coating the four chuunin. This chocolate, however, was well-known for it's properties—properties that aroused very naughty feelings in the fairer sex.

The jounin, suddenly not chasing three naked females anymore, skidded to a stop, confused.

The kunoichi that filtered out from the bar skidded to a stop, confused.

"Wait... What's that smell?" Anko demanded, taking unsure steps forward towards the terrified men. "It smells..." Her eyes widened, and she looked upon the chuunin like a predator would look upon its cornered prey. "...SEXY!" She stooped down and snatched up Kotetsu, who was currently sobbing for his mother.

Izumo cried out, "NO!" and tackled Anko to the ground, poor Kotetsu forced to go with them.

There was a moment of stunned silence when every female lifted her nose to the air and picked up on the scent that just seemed to call to her. Filled with insatiable desire, the lustful kunoichi pounced.

The jounin stood in shock as females began fighting right before their eyes. Females with scanty clothing, large chests, and rationality fucked by alcohol.

Somewhere through the fight, a betting pool had begun, and Genma was feeling lucky as he accepted all the cash thrust into his hands.

Iruka wailed as he was fought over by ten females at once. At this rate, he wouldn't have any clothing left!

A hand slinked through the limbs of the numerous females and grabbed hold of the traumatized school teacher. He was ripped out of the pile of kunoichi and into the powerful, muscular arms of his hero.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Iruka cried, his love for the Copy-nin increasing ten-fold.

In all his nonchalance and hipness—as Gai would say—he raised a single hand, greeting him with an eye curl and a, "Yo."

"Get me out of here, please! I–I–I can't take this anymore!"

Kakashi's eye became half-lidded, and his lips tugged into a small smirk. "As you wish."

They disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

Asuma stood off to the side of the crowd of shinobi awkwardly, eying Kurenai across the street. His lips twitched, and the grip of his teeth on the cigarette in his mouth wavered for a moment. With a growl of "Fuck it!" he dipped his hand in the chocolate on the ground and smeared it across his chest, fidgeting anxiously.

A burst of smoke surrounded him, and a purr suddenly sounded in his ear. "I knew you liked to be dirty, you sexy shinobi. How about I..." Kurenai paused to bend down and lick at his chest, "...clean you up?"

"Hell yes!"

They, too, disappeared in a swirl of leaves—no doubt going to do dirty things that were not unlike what Anko was currently doing with her captives, Izumo and Kotetsu.

Iwashi frantically swung his head side to side, searching for his friends in the writhing mass of female bodies. "Kotetsu-san? Izumo-san? Iruka-sensei? Oh, Kami, SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

Anko reappeared and stalked over to Iwashi's crowd of kunoichi. Anko snatched him up, too, with a possessive growl of, "Mine!"

"Well, bets are over!" Genma announced pocketing all the yen. "It appears that Ebisu-san, Jiraiya-sama, and Gai-sensei are going to be thrown to the wild, horny beasts. Any objections?"

"Like hell I would object! This is the perfect opportunity for 'research'!" Jiraiya cackled before diving head-first into the puddle of chocolate. "Come, and get me, ladies! There's plenty of Jiraiya to go around!"

Ebisu was shoved into the puddle next to Jiraiya with an indignant squawk of, "Why ME? I did not even participate in the betting!"

Gai was also shoved into the chocolate, but he wasn't assaulted as quickly as Jiraiya and Ebisu—the chocolate's magical scent had to settle a tad bit more on him before any of them would even begin to blame the chocolate for forcing them to sleep with Konoha's 'Beautiful' Green Beast.

Iruka sighed with relief as he and Kakashi touched down onto the carpet of the Copy-nin's apartment. "Oh, thank you, Kakashi-sensei! You're such a life-saver! I am forever in your debt!" Iruka bowed his head respectfully to Kakashi, cheeks heating up.

Kakashi graced him with an amused smirk. "So, does this mean I get something in return for saving you from being ravished by Anko-san?"

Iruka shyly dropped his head and mumbled, "I suppose... What do you want?"

Kakashi chuckled and suggested, "You could let me give you a bath first."

The school teacher gasped, and his head shot up, eyes wide. "Oh, Kakashi-sensei, I can do that myself—"

"Oh, but I insist, Iruka-kun," Kakashi purred.

"I suppose..." Inwardly, Iruka was squealing with joy. He began taking steps towards where he thought the bathroom was when he was dragged backwards with a squeak into Kakashi's lap and onto the couch.

"Where do you think you're going? I thought we agreed on me giving you a bath," Kakashi teased.

"But the bathroom is—"

"We're not doing this in the bathroom," Kakashi whispered, voice husky. "You're staying right here in my lap while I lick chocolate from your body..." He removed his hitai-ate and carefully placed it on a table to the side of the couch.

Iruka was sure his cheeks were on fire by this point. He felt a spark of arousal spike downwards into his groin at the very suggestion of Kakashi's tongue on his skin. "O–Oh..."

Kakashi placed a finger to Iruka's lips and winked. "Don't worry. I'll do everything."

Iruka gasped as masked lips attached to his neck, scraping against the quivering flesh gently. A hand quickly pulled Iruka's hair-tie loose, watching as dark brown hair spilled over the chuunin's shoulders. His hitai-ate, now useless, dropped around his neck and was quickly set beside Kakashi's.

"I'll make you feel really good," Kakashi murmured, his hand settling on Iruka's backside. The Copy-nin's unoccupied hand tugged down the mask covering his lower face, and before Iruka could even fully take in the exposed, pale features, Kakashi pressed their lips together roughly. His tongue darted out to lick slowly at the lips tentatively moving against his, and his eyes remained open to stare into Iruka's.

Iruka nearly moaned at the feeling of Kakashi's soft lips upon his, and he shyly returned the intense gaze Kakashi was giving him during their kiss. His lips parted, and his own tongue made contact with the jounin's. Unable to withstand the darkening of Kakashi's eyes, Iruka squeezed his shut and wrapped his arms around Kakashi's waist, straddling his lap.

Kakashi smirked as Iruka submitted to him and caressed his tongue against the school teacher's.

The hand resting on Iruka's backside began to grope roughly, drawing a squeal from Iruka, who blushed and swiped at the hand. "Kakashi-sensei! What—"

"Shh. Just relax, Iruka-kun," Kakashi smirked slipping his other hand down to the front of Iruka's pants. He massaged the bulge firmly, tongue darting out to lick at the chocolate coating Iruka's exposed throat.

Iruka moaned, tossing his head back to give the jounin more access to his flesh. He bit at his bottom lip at the delicious sensation of Kakashi's talented hand stroking him through his clothing. "Nhhgh! Kakashi-sen...sei..."

"Just call me 'Kakashi-kun'," Kakashi murmured against his neck, deftly undoing the button and dragging the man's zipper down to slip his hand into his pants.

Iruka let out a strangled noise, arching his back as the warm hand closed around his hardened cock.

Kakashi's eyes drank in the sight of the chuunin's expression of ecstasy. "All that from just a little contact? You're really going to love what I do afterwards," Kakashi commented with amusement.

Iruka panted as Kakashi's hand slid up and down his length, bringing it out of his pants.

The Copy-nin rubbed circles lazily around the head of the cock, feeling drops of pre-cum lubricate his fingers. His head dipped down to lave his tongue over the chuunin's collar bone, sweeping the chocolate off.

Iruka hunched forward, hands falling to Kakashi's vest. He unzipped it, nearly ripping it off in the process. Once the vest had been tossed carelessly over his shoulder, the school teacher tugged Kakashi's shirt up over his head, exposing his toned, pale torso. "Kakashi-kun..." His eyes roamed over the planes of muscle, wondering desperately what it would be like to lick the flesh.

Kakashi chuckled at Iruka's love-struck expression and quickly rid the chuunin of his vest and shirt.

Chocolate had soaked through his clothing and was smeared over the tanned skin.

The Copy-nin eyed the other's body hungrily. Returning one hand to Iruka's firm backside and the other to his cock, Kakashi began trailing his mouth and tongue down Iruka's body.

Iruka remained in his straddling position and threaded his hands through Kakashi's soft, silver hair.

Kakashi licked coyly at a nipple that was covered with chocolate, wrapping his lips around it.

Iruka gritted his teeth together, furrowing his eyebrows. His hips jerked forward, and he was panting harshly. "Ka–Kakashi-kun," he choked out, "s–stop... h–hand..."

The jounin blinked, realizing that Iruka was very close to coming and removed his hand without a word. Instead, he pinched the nipple unattended to by his tongue, sucking eagerly on the one in his mouth. Once he was satisfied that it had received enough attention, he switched with his fingers, swirling his tongue around the other hardened nipple, stroking the other one that was slick with his saliva.

Iruka moaned quietly, shifting his position on Kakashi's lap slightly, bumping his cock against the Copy-nin's crotch. He blushed at the hardness that strained to be freed from the tight confines. His fingers shakily undid the button and pulled down the zipper of Kakashi's pants. His hand closed around the jounin's cock, tugging it from his damp boxers, stroking tentatively.

Kakashi closed his eyes, and a quiet groan escaped him. He dragged his tongue down to Iruka's abdomen, and his hands gripped the school teacher's waist and forced him to his knees above him. Eye-level with Iruka's toned abdominal muscles, Kakashi followed the trail of dark hair to the man's cock, which was dripping pre-cum invitingly.

"'K–Kashi-kun!" Iruka gasped when the Copy-nin's hot mouth engulfed his cock. He arched his hips, hands taking hold of silver locks for support. He panted and moaned as the mouth slid up and down his length, and a tongue traced the underside.

Kakashi wrapped his hand around the base of Iruka's cock and, tightening his grip on it considerably, jerked him off while his tongue lapped at it, a trail of his saliva connecting it to Iruka.

"Kakashi-kun..." Iruka whimpered. "I... need you..."

Kakashi released the chuunin's cock with an arch of his eyebrow. "You need me?" He teased.

"P–Please, K–Kakashi-kun...!"

A smirk curled the jounin's lips, and he gestured to his own cock. "No lube."

Iruka flushed and quickly dropped to his knees in front of Kakashi, lapping at the head. His lips stretched to take the well-endowed organ in, tongue working furiously to lubricate it.

Kakashi groaned, arching his hips towards the desperate school teacher. He closed his eyes at the sensation of Iruka's mouth massaging his cock.

Iruka's lips closed tightly around Kakashi, and he sucked harder, sliding farther down.

The Copy-nin rocked his hips in time with Iruka's sucking. "Nggh... Iruka-kun..."

Iruka released the cock to the head and laved it thoroughly.

Kakashi gasped and ripped Iruka up to his lap, cheeks tinted red. "That's good enough." He wordlessly positioned Iruka above his dripping cock, thrusting in slowly.

Iruka cried out, forcing himself to relax around the large intrusion. "K... Kakashi!" Pain flooded through him.

Kakashi slid himself in more, pausing at the intense warmth surrounding him. "You're so... ngh... tight... Relax a little..." Once he was sure Iruka was ready to continue, he lifted him off of his lap so just the head was still buried inside him. With a grunt of pleasure, he brought Iruka back down to his lap, angling his cock just right so as to make contact with the man's prostrate.

Iruka screamed out Kakashi's name in ecstasy, arching off of his lap.

Kakashi groaned huskily and began developing a steady pace of thrusting into the chuunin, making sure to hit Iruka's prostrate every time. He could feel his lover's body shuddering atop his and the muscles contracting around his cock.

"Kakashi! Mmph!"

The Copy-nin smashed their lips together, muffling Iruka's cries. Huskily, he muttered, "Touch yourself."

Without complaint, Iruka's hand shot down to his neglected cock that was dripping pre-cum on Kakashi's flexing stomach. He formed a fist on it and pumped up and down while Kakashi watched, wide-eyed.

Another bounce on Kakashi's cock pulled a scream from Iruka, and he tensed, the movements of his hand becoming jerky.

"Come for me, Iruka-kun," Kakashi whispered, rubbing a finger over the reddened tip of Iruka's cock. He thrust once more into Iruka, gritting his teeth as the muscles clenched around him.

Iruka wailed out Kakashi's name, arching his back, tears forming at the corners of his eyes at the pleasure as he came, spilling his seed on the jounin's stomach and chest.

Kakashi wrapped his arms around Iruka's waist and buried his face into his neck as he experienced his release, groaning, "Iruka... Ngggh..."

Iruka flushed at the feeling of Kakashi's warm fluid coating his insides, and he collapsed onto his lover, panting tiredly into his sweaty mess of silver hair.

The next day...

Iruka skipped into the mission room, humming cheerfully.

Shinobi eyed the chuunin with jealousy, wishing they knew where he got his stuff.

Arriving at his place at the desk, Iruka plopped down—gingerly—and set his papers on the table-top. His ass may have been aching like hell, but it was a good ache that was caused by Sex-God Kakashi. After all, they had fucked like rabbits nearly five times last night.

Not too much longer, Kotetsu, Izumo, and Iwashi shuffled into the room. They looked like—for lack of a better word—shit. Every one of them was clutching their backsides in agony.

Dried trails of tears streaked down Iwashi's cheeks.

Dried blood streamed down Izumo's upper lip, nostrils, chin, and neck.

Dried... Well... coated the area around Kotetsu's mouth.

They all made their way to Iruka with pained grimaces and scowls adorning their faces.

Iwashi slapped Iruka. "You didn't have to be chained to a bed while being fucked by Anko-s–s–sama's pet SNAKES!"

Izumo slapped Iruka. "You didn't watch the object of your desires get fucked by an oddly-shaped pickle and week-old MAYONNAISE!"

Kotetsu slapped Iruka. "You didn't have to suck Izumo-kun's dick, and–and–AND REALIZE YOU LIKED IT!"

Iruka cradled his stinging cheek and stared at his 'friends'. A smug smile slowly curled his lips. "It's true, I didn't experience any of those things. But you know what I did experience? I had an amazing bath in which my lover licked chocolate from my body and fucked me into submission after giving me a mind-blowing-blow-and-hand-job and me returning the favor," he shyly gloated.

The entire mission room was stunned into silence.

Finally, Izumo blurted out, "Iruka-sensei said 'fucked'!"