Hey everybody. Wow, I just checked this document, and I definitely haven't updated in like, 20 days. I'm so sorry! I've gotten really caught up in school lately. Word to the wise: DO NOT TAKE AP US HISTORY! And I have two concerts this week for choir, so memorization and stuff got a little hectic. I will try to update as much as I can in the near future, just bear with me, as we all know how demanding school can be.
And iluvjessmariano: Thanks so much for your concern, you're such a sweetheart! Nothing really has happened, like I said above, I've just gotten caught up in life. I've also been kinda sick recently, so I've been focusing on getting better. But thanks so much for caring, you're absolutely adorable!
Keep reviewing, even though I suck at updating... You guys rock!
"What? Did he just say...?" I stared down at Jess, my mouth forming a small, tight 'o'. It took me a second to realize that he had just passed out again, and that the nurses were sticking tubes back into him. I hated that, I wished they would just leave them alone. I bet he did, too. That thought brought a smile to the corners of my mouth, and I turned around to look at everyone. They were all staring at me, eyes wide, mouths open, as if they had just witnessed a miracle. I looked at my mom cautiously.
"He--He remembered me," I whispered. I started to cry, and my mom held open her arms. I ran into them, breaking down into sobs.
"I know baby, I know," my mom answered in awe. I could feel her head shaking. None of it made any sense. Jess couldn't remember any of them, and then he sees me and instantly recognizes me? What was with that? Was he messing with me or something? It didn't seem real. I looked at Luke apologetically, and saw that he had anger and sadness in his eyes.
He cut me off. "I have to go check on the diner. Call me if anything happens." And he left the room. I felt so bad, as if it were my fault that Luke's feelings were hurt. But then I remembered: it was. It was my fault that Jess was in the accident, my fault that he was lying there in the bed, his heart beating slowly. All of it was my fault. I ripped away from my mom.
"What is it, sweets?" She asked me quietly.
I looked over at Liz, who had tears falling silently down her face. She looked at me and managed a weak smile before she spoke, her voice cracking. "I'm uh... I'm gonna go get something from the cafeteria." She left as quickly as Luke had.
I sat down in my spot at Jess' side from before, burying my head in my hands, crying silently. I heard my mom take a few steps closer to me, but I didn't move to acknowledge her presence.
"Sweets, you gotta talk to me. What's goin' on?" She put her hand on my shoulder, and I shrugged it off.
"It's all my fault, Mom. All of it. The fact that Jess is here and not home safe, with me. The fact that he can't remember any of you, that he probably never will. ALL OF IT!" I shouted the last sentence, and I saw her jump back slightly. My shoulders sagged in desperation.
"Could you just go, Mom. Please? I kinda want to be alone right now." I looked up at her through bloodshot eyes.
She nodded. "Yeah, baby, I can leave. Call me if you need anything, ok?"
I looked away from her and back at Jess' face. His forehead was wrinkled in concentration, and it made me remember of the face he used to make when he was writing. One he would probably never make again. I cried myself to sleep, holding his hand.
Somebody was rubbing my head soothingly, and it felt nice. I opened my eyes groggily and sat up. It was Jess. I gasped, and his eyes opened fearfully.
"I'm sorry, did I hurt you? I didn't mean to, I..." His voice was panicked.
"No, no, Jess, you didn't hurt me, you just surprised me." I didn't know why I was whispering, but it seemed appropriate.
"You just looked so... So sad. I wanted to help." He looked away from me, dropping his hand. "I'm sorry," he added quietly.
"Sorry for what, Jess?"
"For surprising you."
"It's ok, babe, I don't mind." I grabbed his hand in between both of mine, and he cocked an eyebrow.
I chuckled lightly. "Yeah."
"You never called me babe. You--You always..." He looked away, as if trying to remember. "You always made fun of me for calling you babe, saying it was ridiculous. You called me... You called me Dodger. From some book..."
"Oliver Twist," I answered quickly.
His face lit up. "Yeah! Oliver Twist! And, I remember we were talking about outside, somewhere..."
"In Stars Hollow." I was willing him to remember now, hoping it would all come back to him.
My face fell, and he saw.
"I'm sorry. I wish I could..."
I silenced him by putting a finger to his lips. "Don't apologize. It's ok. I'll just... Have to cope, I guess."
He sighed angrily and rubbed his left eye. "Geez, what the hell?"
I looked at him with a confused expression. "What?"
"What's going... AH! Rory, oh no, Rory, I have to get back to Rory..." He was mumbling and yelling.
"JESS?! Jess, I'm right here, baby, tell me what's wrong!" I clutched his hand tightly.
"No, get on your side of the road, you--" He went limp against his pillow.
I was sobbing. "Oh my God, Jess, please, don't... don't do this to me! Please, not again, oh my God..."
I heard a soft voice calling to me from far away. It almost sounded as if I was underwater. But, if I was underwater, why was everything so dark. I tried to speak, but realized I couldn't. I tried to open my eyes, but again, I couldn't. I had to tell the voice that I was ok, that everything was going to be ok...
"Oh my God, Jess, please, don't... don't do this to me! Please, not again, oh my God..."
I struggled again to find the right words to say to the voice. It was a woman, I realized. Then something clicked. Rory! It was Rory! Rory was the one who was so worried about me, the one who was frantically screaming at me to wake up. I forced my eyes open with all the strength I could muster. I saw a small sliver of light as they cracked open.
"Jess? JESS? OH MY GOD, are you ok? Jess?"
I opened my eyes fully to see Rory's face hovering above mine, just inches from my lips. I smiled.
"Rory." My voice sounded foreign, even to me. I was whispering. Why? I cleared my throat and tried again. "Rory."
She nodded quickly. "Yeah?"
"You're--" I coughed. "You're crushing my lungs."
She jumped off of me, and I let out a small laugh, turning my head to look at her. I winked, and she smacked my arm.
"Geez!" I winced slightly. She hadn't hit me that hard, so I decided to have some fun with her. I groaned in mock pain.
"Oh my gosh, Jess, are you ok? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I--"
I winked at her. "Gotcha." I grinned devilishly, and her eyes grew angry.
"Jess Mariano, how dare you? I was worried that I actually hurt you! Jerk!" She hit me again, and I laughed loudly. It sounded more like a bark to my ears.
"I just wanted to make sure you hadn't gone all soft on me."
She laughed quietly and sat back down in her chair. She let out a small sigh, and I reached over to cup her face with my hand, ignoring the searing pain it sent up my left side.
"Hey, what's wrong, babe?" I put an emphasis on the last word, hoping to make her smile. I succeeded. But, I also noticed that she was crying, because I felt the small droplets running over the rough skin of my hand.
"I... I just--I feel..." She was having trouble speaking, and it made me frown.
"You feel what?"
"Like this is all my fault."
"Rory." My voice was rough, angry. "Look at me right now." As she looked over her eyelashes at me, I felt my heart melt. "This whole... thing, what's going on with me, is NOT your fault. Do you understand me? I don't know how it happened, but it is NOT your fault that I am like this!" I hadn't realized my voice was rising until my ribs started to ache. I laid back against my pillow tiredly, breathing heavily.
"Yes it is." She whispered it to herself, but I heard.
"Hey," I murmured gently. "Look at me." She looked up again. "This isn't your fault. There is nothing you could have done to prevent this."
"I could have asked you to stay." She was whispering again.
"What did you say?"
"I said, I could have asked you to stay."
"Before, when you... Never mind." She looked away.
I grabbed her hand, lacing our fingers. The action felt so familiar, I liked it. I missed it. "No, tell me."
"Well, before your accident, you came over to my house and gave me this... this letter that you wrote."
"What was it about?" The memory was slowly forming in my mind, coming into focus like a telescope. I was seeing tiny details of it now.
"We had been having... issues, I guess you could say. The letter was about how you were feeling. About us, our relationship, what I did, everything."
"Our relationship?" I asked. Everything was starting to come flooding back to me.
"Uh, yeah." She fidgeted in her chair nervously. "We were um... engaged."
"Were? What happened?"
"I kissed someone I shouldn't have."
That one word triggered everything. Everything rushed in. I saw myself writing letters, kissing and laughing with Rory, having an argument with Luke, Lorelai slapping me, and then a very long flashback of me writing a really long letter. And then of me taking it to Rory.
I rubbed my temples soothingly. "Woah."
"What is it?" Rory squeaked.
"I just... You, me, Dean... Everything just... It all just..." I couldn't even take it. I had to close my eyes. I focused on my breathing, and I suddenly felt Rory get very close to me. I could feel her breath lingering just beside my ear, and it gave me goosebumps.
"Are you ok? What happened?" She was talking so quietly that I had to strain my ears to make out each word.
I gulped, trying to slow the beating of my heart, but I could hear it on the monitor. Which meant she could too. Damn it.
I heard her giggle. "Well, well, well, Jess Mariano... Are you... excited?" She started to kiss my neck teasingly. I groaned quietly, but not in protest. I had missed this.
"Mmm..." Was all I could think to reply.
She laughed darkly, and it made me shiver with delight. She slowly kissed her way up my jawline, to the corner of my lips. I automatically responded by wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer to me, but our almost make-out session was ruined by my stupid injuries. When she brought a tiny ounce of her weight on top of me, my ribs shouted in protest.
"AGH!" I let out a scream of both pain and anger.
"What is it?" She jumped back quickly.
"No, don't... God damn it!" I smacked my fist against the mattress. "Stupid injuries. All I want to do is make out with you, and they won't let me. It sucks." I pouted.
She laughed and blushed. "Oh. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gotten you so excited." She moved back to her position on the chair, and I sighed.
"Ugh. Stupid car accident. I shouldn't have left in the first place. This whole thing with Dean, it wasn't a big deal, just a misunderstanding, I overreacted, and I'm--" She stopped my apology with her lips, and I moaned happily. I had missed the feeling her kisses gave me, how everything seemed so right when we were together. I cupped her face lightly with my hand, and she pecked my lips one more time before pulling away sheepishly.
"Don't apologize. It really was my fault, I just... I shouldn't have let him take it that far, I don't know what came over me--" Now it was my turn to stop her. I grabbed the back of her neck semi-roughly and pulled her back down to my lips. She claimed mine hungrily, leaving barely any space for breathing. Not like I minded of course. As I slowly caressed the back of her hair with my hand, she sighed into my mouth and pulled back, blushing again. It was so cute when she did that. "Wait, are you saying you remember everything?"
I nodded. "Yeah, actually. Now, shut up and kiss me, Gilmore." She happily obliged, and we stayed like that for a few minutes before she pulled away yet again.
"Geez, Jess, we're behaving like a bunch of teenagers."
I laughed. "Is that a problem?"
"Well, not really, but, considering we're both in our twenties..."
"Are you saying you have some objection to making out with me?" I pouted, looking away.
Someone cleared their throat from behind Rory. I looked around her head slowly, smiling at who I saw. He was shuffling his feet nervously, looking at the floor.
His eyes snapped up to meet mine. "Wha-- What did you say?"
"I said, Luke! Now come talk to me!"
"Do you... remember?"
Rory nodded happily. "He does, Luke, he does. I don't know how, but we just started talking about everything, and he remembers!"
Luke laughed happily, and he smiled. Luke smiled!
"Woah, since when do you smile?" I teased.
He automatically frowned. "Since when do you talk?"
Alright, so I'm sorry it's kind of short, but this is the best I could do considering the circumstances. Thanks so much for reading, and please review! I'll update as soon as I can!