Why Shelly Is Emo

Everyone has a secret past. Some ice skate. Others do ballet.

But for one Team Aqua member, she is emo.

Meet Shelly. A seemingly bitchy girl with curly redlike hair that flirts with Harlan. She smells like cinnamon perfume. She kicks the crap out of her Crawdaunt when she's pissed off. So, you think she's the typical bitch, right ?

Wrong. In reality, every day after she cleans up the vomit that the Boss Archie pukes out after a drinking match with Boss Maxie of Team Magma, she dresses in all black, goes to Hot Topic, and consistantly cuts herself. It's a regular routine for her, but why is she emo ? Did she get violated when she was three ? Did an LSD experience go totally wrong ?

Once again, all these answers are wrong. The reason for this happened about a good seven years ago, when Shelly was a high school freshman. She was a good yet bitchy girl, hanging around in the streets of Dewford Town, smoking pot and watching some stupid show every Wednesday..

She had a boyfriend. His name was Eusine. He was a good yet fruity guy, originally from Celadon City in Kanto, but later moved to Johto. He was visiting her for the summer. And it was his fault that Shelly became emo.

One day Shelly and Eusine were at Shelly's house playing Twister, when Eusine waved a VCR tape in Shelly's face. " Look, Shelly ! I have the video that will change your ways forever ! " he said.

" Really ? " Shelly asked. " Is it a Halloween movie, because if it is, it's not going to do anything to me. "

Eusine shook his head. " Nope. "

" Oh, God. Is it one of those stupid movies involving Suicune again ? "

The man huffed. " No. Trust me Shelly, it's the best video ever ! "

Eusine placed the video inside the VCR. Suddenly the TV made a giggling noise.

" YAY ! Let's have fun today ! "

Shelly sweatdropped. " Oh, God. Are those the freakin' Teletubbies ? "

" Yeah ! "

" Teletubbies are gay. "

" No, they're not ! I've been a big fan of them ever since they came out in '97 ! "

Eusine yanked his jacket off the reveal a T-shirt with the purple Teletubby in the middle. Shelly facefaulted. " You like the purple Teletubby ?! Everyone knows he's sterotypically gay ! "

" So ? You said you didn't have a problem with gays ! "

" Everyone except the purple Teletubby ! God, he's the weirdo equivalent of Harley ! "

" Oh, well. Anyway, this tape is a four hour marathon ! "

O.o " Are you f--king serious ?! "

" Of course ! "

With that, Eusine locked Shelly's door and got back on the couch. " Okay, Shelly ! I'm rea - dy ! "

The four hour marathon started, and Shelly slowly lost all good sense. When the marathon finally ended, Shelly turned a white shade. " Eusine...get the hell out of my house now. "

" Whyyy ?! "

" 'Cause I hate you, and we're through."

Eusine shrugged and picked up his tape. " Fine with me. I have to go back to searching for Suicune and the purple Teletubby. "

As soon as he left, Shelly picked up a small knife and cut herself. " That's it. I'm going emo now. "

And she kept that promise. Seven years later, Shelly is still emo. All because of the weirdo guy named Eusine. She now has another boyfriend - Harlan - that listens to all grunge bands.

As far as Eusine is concerned...we're pretty sure he's still a fan of Teletubbies, and that's why nobody likes him...except Morty.

End