Update 6/09- PLEASE READ: This story has been discontinued as MP is too busy and doesn't write fanfiction anymore. Thanks to all who have reviewed.
"Mister Light? Mister Light, please wake up. I had a bad dream."
Light grunted and slowly blinked his eyes open, propping himself up on an elbow when he saw that Tommy was standing before him. "What's wrong?" he whispered groggily.
"I had a bad dream," Tommy repeated with a rather impressive sniff.
"Oh, I see. What was it about, little guy?" Light reached out and gave the boy a hug.
"Near was running around with his antlers and making a shish kabob out of everyone!" Tommy whimpered, clutching onto Light's arm. "It was really scary! I-I woke up," he hiccupped, "and I cried and the others were laughing at me! Can I stay here tonight?"
Light shifted around to make sure he had clothes on. Affirmative.
"Okay, let me make room for you." The brunet managed to pry the boy off of him and he turned to wake up L.
"L, get out of here."
"I didn't give it to the dog, mommy," L slurred in his sleep.
"L, wake the hell up. Get out of the way!" Finally, Light gave up and just smacked his fiancé on the chest. That worked.
"I ate the potato!" L exclaimed, sitting up abruptly. Panting, he looked over at Light and then down at Tommy. "Wh-What…Why did you wake me, Light-kun? Why are you in here, Thomas?"
"Tommy had a nightmare about Near running around and spearing everyone," Light explained, deciding to save the potato discussion for a later time. "His roommates made fun of him so I'm letting him sleep in here. Get out of bed."
"I hope Light-kun does not think I am going to give up my warm place in this bed because of a child's overactive imagination."
"Move! I'm not making him go back to his room!"
"I am not moving out of this bed!"
"Fine!" Light heaved himself out of bed and turned on the light, heading over to their desk.
"What is Light-kun doing?" L asked dangerously. "Do not touch my belongings!"
"Aha!" The ex-murderer whirled back around and held up his prize.
"Light-kun will not destroy my fruitcake!" It was the closest to screeching L had ever gotten, but the state of his fruitcake was not something to be taken lightly. He loved fruitcake.
Light flung open the window and dangled the cake out of it. "Get out of bed or it's going out the window."
L narrowed his eyes. "Alright, I will get out of bed. Do not release my fruitcake," he ground out. "You are so unpleasant."
"You're selfish," Light snapped, closing the window and wrinkling his nose when he saw that L had been wearing his complete L-Outfit to bed. "And unsanitary."
"You are a bitch, Light-kun."
"…" Tommy, who had crawled into bed by that time, watched as L fell to the floor after getting beamed with a very large, very heavy fruitcake.
"There you go, L! You can have your cake and eat it, too! Why don't you take it out to the tool shed while you're at it?"
Light got back into bed and turned the lamp off.
"Good night, Tommy, L."
"Good night, Mister Light."
Mello paused in the middle of his current task. "Did you hear that big slam upstairs, Matty?"
"Oh. Never mind, then." The blonde grunted as he hauled his latest finding in front of the Christmas tree. It was a huge, plastic, life-like Christmas elf that he had dug up in the attic while looking for an L wig for Matt. The elf was clean, but had a very prominent disfigured eye that seemed to be bulging out of the socket.
"That elf's creepy as all hell, Mello," Matt muttered, watching as his friend struggled with the decoration. "It's taller than the fucking tree."
"I know. I'm putting a video camera behind it so I can record all the little brats when they see it." Mello chuckled and stood back to observe his work. "There. The camera's hidden in the tree branches, see? I can't wait to see Near piss himself when he gets an eyeful of this ugly son of a bitch."
"Yeah, well…I'm not getting involved with his one. Not after that L episode."
Mello turned around and rolled his eyes at his friend, pulling a chocolate bar out of his pocket. "You ruined it, idiot. I so did not tell you to sleep with Light."
"The opportunity presented itself," was Matt's only explanation as he stood up to examine the elf. He pushed his goggles up. "Why, are you jealous?"
"No way in hell! You can fuck him if you want to, see if I care." Mello chomped into his chocolate and raised an eyebrow. "I still don't know how he didn't notice it earlier. You got lucky."
"Heh. I didn't get as lucky as I could have." With a little smirk, Matt pulled his goggles back into place and produced a pack of cigarettes. "Want one?"
The gamer shrugged and pulled out a lighter, but stopped when Mello smacked him on the arm.
Rolling his eyes, the blonde jerked his head toward the door. "Go outside and do that, man. L will castrate you if he sees you smoking."
A voice came out of nowhere. "Smoking again, Matt?"
"L!" both teens said simultaneously, turning toward the staircase. L came slouching down into the room. Mello, not wanting Matt to get into any more trouble, fumbled around for the light switch.
"Mello, turn the light back on."
"Sorry, L. Um…I accidentally hit it?"
"I thought I had taught you to lie better than that, Mihael. Mail, give me the cigarettes."
"Shit, he's using real names," Matt whispered to Mello, who stumbled over to turn the light back on.
"What?!" Both Mello and Matt jumped at their mentor's sudden scream.
"What is that?!" L pointed at the elf. "What. Is. That?"
"It's an elf, L…I found it in the attic-" Mello started, but was silenced when L backed himself against the far wall and stared in horror at the plastic monstrosity.
"What happened to its eye?!"
"I think it melted-"
"I hate it! Remove it from my presence!" L exclaimed, shielding the elf from his view. "Mello, get it out of here! Burn it!"
"I do not want it in this orphanage!"
"L, everyone likes it," Mello lied. "Sorry, but it's going to stay. I don't see what's so bad about it."
"I think it's awesome," Matt commented, cringing when L's glare turned toward him.
"It is not awesome. It is an elf, and I am disturbed by it. Matt, give me the cigarettes."
With a sigh, Matt handed over his smokes and lighter to L. "Here you go, Scrooge," he muttered.
L snatched the cigarettes away and went half-running, half-falling back up the stairs.
Mello and Matt stared after him.
"Do you think L might be on drugs sometimes?"
Light awoke the next morning and felt strangely peaceful. He looked to the side and smiled when he saw Tommy curled up under the sheets and, not wanting to disturb the boy, slid out of bed and looked around for a long-sleeve shirt. He didn't find one of his own, so he reluctantly pulled on one of L's and headed out onto their little balcony, wanting this Christmas Eve to be a pleasant one.
That was not meant to be.
"L, are you smoking?"
Light shut the balcony door behind him and stared at his lover, who (not-so-subtly) snubbed out the smoke and threw it off the balcony and into the snow beneath them.
"I've never seen you smoke! You had better not let Tommy see you doing that, or I'll break your nose!" Light snapped.
"I have smoked approximately seven point four cigarettes in my entire life, Light-kun. I am not addicted to it."
"You're always telling Matt not to smoke, you hypocrite! Some role-model you are."
L pulled the cigarette box out of his pocket and held it out. "Would Light-kun like one?" he asked dully.
"No, you smell repulsive!"
"No I do not. You think everything is repulsive."
"Shut up!" Light slapped L's hand, causing the box of cigarettes to go flying off the balcony.
"Oh no, Light-kun!"
L and Light watched as Roger, who was standing inconveniently underneath them, got hit by the cigarettes. The old man whirled around to stare up at them.
"L!" he bellowed. "Get down here right now, young man!"
"Roger is going to kill me, Light-kun."
Light watched as L went slouching out of their room. He stayed out on the balcony and saw the detective reappear outside next to Roger. They appeared to be talking calmly until Roger bent down to pick up what was apparently a cigarette butt and waved it in L's face. L cringed back.
Light turned around and smiled when Tommy came up to him. "Hey. Did you sleep well?"
"Uh-huh. No more bad dreams!"
Tommy moved forward and peered between the wooden bars down at L and Roger. "Is L in trouble?"
"Throwing things off the balcony." Light sighed when he saw Roger dragging L back inside by the ear. "Hm. Let's get you cleaned up for breakfast, shall we?"
Just as Light was getting done fixing up Tommy's hair, L came slouching into the room with a bottle of wine and a carrot cake.
"Are you okay?" Light asked, trying not to laugh at L's red ear.
"No. Hence the wine, Light-kun." L took a swig right out of the bottle. "I am not enjoying myself right now."
"Don't drink like that in front of Tommy!"
"Thomas has seen much worse." L began digging into his cake. "Light-kun?"
"You love me, correct?"
"Would you do something for me?"
Light turned away from Tommy and shot a look over at L. "Like what?" he asked suspiciously. "I'm not trying anything in that tiny bathroom with you, L-"
"Not that, though that would bring me great relief." L sipped his on wine again. "I need you to go downstairs and remove the elf from the premises."
"You will see the elf. Please get rid of it for me. Light-kun knows of my fear of elves, does he not?" L asked impatiently.
"Um…okay, L. I'll get rid of it for you."
"Please do it immediately."
Light, not really understanding the situation, shook his head and headed downstairs, leaving Tommy in the room with L.
The odd pair sat in silence for a while, staring at each other, until Tommy spoke:
"Mister Light told me you two are gonna get married."
L blinked. "That is true," he said blandly.
"So there's gonna be two husbands?"
"I think I wanna get married someday. I like the girl that lives in room three. I think getting married would be good cause you get a big cake."
"I like the way you think." Ah yes, I had forgotten about that particular benefit. I will be sure to make Light let me choose the cake.
"You're the best, L!" the little boy beamed. He jumped down off of the chair Light had had him in and went over to the bed to sit next to L. "Mister Light never stops talking about how cool you are."
L chuckled around his forkful of cake. "Is that so?"
L leaned forward and took off the colorful Christmas tie that Light had forced Tommy to wear, flinging it to the side. "Not looking like a fool will make you more popular with the ladies. Light-kun is not being helpful."
"It is not a problem."
"Will you tell me one of your detective stories?"
L stared down at the boy for a few long minutes before nodding. "Very well."
Light had gone downstairs and had stared at the elf for quite some time, not having any clue as to how he was going to get rid of it. He could definitely see what L didn't like about the elf; it made him a bit uneasy as well.
"Well, I don't know what to do about this."
Light turned around and huffed when he saw Matt behind him. "Nothing. Get out of here, you rapist."
"Pfft." Matt crossed his arms. "You were asking for it the whole day."
"You're an ass. Get out of here, I have to figure out what to do with the elf."
"What are you trying to accomplish?"
Light looked back over at the elf. "L wants me to get rid of it," he said. "I don't know how."
"Good luck." Matt barked a laugh and pulled out his video game. "By the way, you might want to take that engagement ring off."
"No, I like wearing it."
"Wrong again, Matt-o. L and I are getting married."
"We're really getting married. You're invited, as long as you keep the game at home," Light smirked at Matt's stunned expression. "Can you pass along an invitation to Mello, too?"
"Uh." Mello is going to implode.
"…like usual, the investigation was a complete success. Additionally, I was allowed to keep the turtle keychain, which you will currently find on the ring next to my car keys. The end." Swaying a little bit, L gave Tommy a half-grin and took another sip of his wine.
"L, you're like Superman!" Tommy exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "Have you ever been wrong during an investigation?"
"I was wrong once, but it turned out okay because I met my Light-kun. Light-kun and I are very close!" L proclaimed.
"That's great, L. L, can I ask you a question?"
"O-Okay," L slurred. "Ask away…"
"You were talking about potatoes in your dream. What was that about?" Tommy asked, stealing a gob of frosting from what was left of L's cake.
"Oh…Oh, that was bad because it was a dream of my mother," L explained carefully. "I was being bad in my dream cause she wanted me to eat the potatoes, but I just gave them to the dog."
"You had a dog?"
"Yeah. His name was Moses." L's eyes misted up. "He was such a good dog, but one day he ate a shoe but the shoe was too big for his throat."
"Oh!" Tommy stifled a laugh and looked up when Light came back in. "Hi, Mister Light! L was telling me about Moses!"
"L, I thought you were an atheist," Light said distractedly as he dug through the desk drawers.
"I…I am the Church of L!"
"What?" The brunet turned around and got a good look at the other man. "Oh, you're drunk. That's just perfect."
"Light-kun is my favorite person in the whole world!"
"Okay. Tommy, go play with the other kids while I take care of L."
"Kay. See you later!"
"Will you go into the tool shed with me?"
"Hey, Nancy Near," Mello teased from where he was seated on the couch. He had been staring at the fireplace before Near had come in wearing his antlers. "Do you really think you're a reindeer? I don't know how you think you're going to become the next L. L doesn't pretend he's a reindeer."
Near let out what was meant to be a reindeer snort and galloped over to Mello, poking at the other teen with the antlers.
"Ouch! Lay off, Nancy! That hurts!" Mello kicked at Near's shins but missed. The white-haired boy kept bucking around with the antlers.
"That fucking hurts, Near! Knock it off!"
"Ouch! You drew blood, you little maniac!"
At that exact moment, Tommy reached the bottom step only to see his nightmare coming true.
"Oh no, he really is making everyone a shish kabob!"
Near stopped poking Mello and turned to see his new prey. He recognized Tommy as the one who had been hiding his antlers with Light the previous day. He charged.
The pale adolescent chased Tommy around the living room until the little boy dove behind the elf. Near, slipping on the hardwood floor in his socks, went sliding forward and crashed into the elf antlers-first.
"My elf! Good job, Nancy!" Mello screamed. He rushed over to the ruined elf and didn't give a second thought to the fact that Near's head was trapped inside of it. "You broke my elf!"
Meanwhile, Tommy took the opportunity to slide out from behind the elf and rush back up the stairs. He slammed into L on the way.
"L, Near's stuck in the elf! He was trying to stab me!" the boy said breathlessly.
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" came the slurred response. With that, L went stumbling down the stairs and passed out on the couch.
After a few hours of getting Near's head out of the elf, disposing of said decoration, bandaging Mello's cuts and coaxing Tommy out of the bathroom cupboard, the household was finally ready to sleep for the night. The children, though mostly doubting the existence of a magical bearded man who gave them toys, obediently holed themselves up in their rooms on the off-chance that the myth could be true.
It was silent as Light crept downstairs, wanting to get L off of the couch so Roger didn't throw a fit.
Light smiled and saw, in the dim lighting provided by the Christmas tree, that L was sitting up and staring at him. "Hi. Are you feeling okay?"
"Yes, I am well. The elf is gone."
Light went over and sat next to his lover. "Yeah, Near crashed into it and cracked it in half," he explained quietly. "You came down here and passed out."
"I know. The elf frightened me," L whispered. "The alcohol was helpful."
"Good. Let's go back upstairs."
"Does Light-kun only have boxers on?"
"He looks remarkable right now."
"Come on, L…" Light sighed when L began kissing his neck. "Not here-"
"All of the children will remain in bed for the entire night, Light-kun," L mumbled in-between pecks. "I know you need to get this out of your system as well, and we still do not have a door to our room."
"Alright, fine. Let's make it quick."
Neither of them suspected that Mello's video camera was recording them from the Christmas tree.
A/N: Thanks for reviewing!!
Update 6/09- PLEASE READ: This story has been discontinued as MP is too busy and doesn't write fanfiction anymore. Thanks to all who have reviewed.